Acceptable Risk

by Lynette Eason

  “All right. I’ll talk to Lucy and see what she has to say. Thank you.”

  Mel cleared her throat. “Normally, I wouldn’t say a word about my patients, but Lucy was on Helen’s HIPAA list and she specifically told me that if I ever came across anyone who might have answers for Helen’s death, to share whatever I needed to. You two have a lot in common because she’s desperate for answers and I know she’ll want to talk to you. I’ll call her and let her know you’re going to be in touch. Is that all right?”

  “Yes, of course. Thank you again.” Sarah stood and walked to the door.

  “Sarah?”

  She turned.

  “Come back if you need to.”

  Sarah hesitated. Nodded. “Thank you.” She stepped to the door of the waiting room and blew out a breath. Tears battered her lids and she refused to let them fall. For several minutes, she simply stood there and battled to get her emotions under control.

  Footsteps sounded behind her. “Sarah?”

  Sarah pressed her fingers to her eyes and turned. “Yes?”

  “I called Mrs. Long,” Mel said. “When I explained everything, she said she could meet you right now if you could head to her house.”

  “We can do that, thank you.”

  “Of course. And again, I’d love for you to come back.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Mel nodded, then disappeared back into her office. Sarah took another five minutes to simply breathe and process. Then pushed through the door to fill Gavin in.

  And tell him they had a couple of stops to make.

  CHAPTER

  SIXTEEN

  When Sarah stepped through the door into the waiting room, Gavin caught her eye and held out a hand. “How’d that go?”

  “Not exactly like I’d envisioned.” She gripped his fingers and he could feel the tension running through her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s a nice woman. And just as confused as everyone else about Dustin’s . . . suicide.”

  Gavin gave a mental grimace at the way she choked on the word.

  “She said the same thing Caden did. That Dustin was up and looking forward to getting on with his life.”

  “So, that was a bust?”

  She sighed and offered him a slight smile. “Not completely. I don’t think the doctor had anything to do with Dustin deciding to jump off the roof. And I don’t think she missed anything, which is unfortunate, because I doubt she can help us figure out why he did it.”

  “I’m sorry. I know you were hopeful.”

  “I was. I still am. She gave me the name of a former patient’s sister.” She told him about the patient—a doctor who witnessed the bombing of an orphanage.

  Gavin shook his head. “I can see how that would be horrific to live with.”

  “She saved some of them, Gavin. Because of her, some of those kids are alive today.”

  He sighed. “As much good as she did, she could probably only focus on the ones she lost.”

  “Yeah. So . . . I need to take care of something.”

  “Let me guess. Dustin’s place?”

  She raised a brow. “Yes, eventually, but first, Lucy Long.”

  “Who’s Lucy Long?”

  “Helen Craft’s sister. It’s about an hour drive.”

  “That’s fine. We’ll leave now.” Gavin pulled his keys from his pocket, and Sarah filled him in on more details of the woman’s story as they walked toward his truck.

  “Thank you,” she said, crawling into the passenger seat. “For the first time, I have some hope that we may learn something new about Dustin and his state of mind in those last few days.”

  Sarah twisted her fingers together, then released them. Twist, release, twist, release.

  He reached over and placed a hand over hers. “It’s going to be all right.”

  “Sure.”

  She fell silent and he left her alone while she disappeared into her thoughts.

  An hour later, Gavin spun the wheel, entering the neighborhood where the Longs lived. He pulled to the curb of the second house on the right and parked. The front door was open and a small dog sat just inside the storm door. When they approached, it barked and ran in circles until a woman hurried to sweep it up into her arms and open the door.

  “Hi, I’m Lucy. This is Buster.”

  Gavin introduced himself and Sarah, and they soon found themselves in the den with the dog happily seated in Gavin’s lap.

  “Let me know if he bothers you,” Lucy said. “I can put him in the backyard.”

  “He’s fine,” Gavin said. “I’d like to have a dog one day.”

  “Then I like you immediately. Dog people are the best.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I need to remember my manners. Can I get you anything to drink?”

  Gavin declined.

  “I’m fine, thanks,” Sarah said. “I really appreciate you being willing to talk to us about your sister.”

  “I like talking about her. It’s a way of keeping her alive and close to me.” Tears welled in her eyes but didn’t fall. “What do you want to know?”

  “Let me start with my brother, Dustin Denning,” Sarah said. “He committed suicide not too long after your sister did.”

  “Oh, I’m so very sorry! I only met Dustin a couple of times, but he seemed like such a nice young man.”

  “Thank you. It’s been hard, as you well know. I suppose I’m having a difficult time accepting it because of how he was just prior to his death.”

  Lucy frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “My other brother, Caden, brought Dustin home from the hospital when he was released, and apparently, he was doing well. He was happy and upbeat and looking forward to the future.”

  Lucy was nodding.

  “Helen too?” Sarah asked.

  “Yes, that’s why I was so stunned to walk in and see what I saw.” She shuddered. “She’d been so happy about being released from the hospital and was talking about going back to Kabul so she could get back to work. And now, I can’t close my eyes without picturing her standing there in the window. I yelled at her and she didn’t even acknowledge me. Or hesitate. She just . . . jumped.”

  Sarah shivered. “According to my father, security footage shows Dustin doing the same thing. He went to the hospital where he was supposed to be meeting with his therapist. Instead of going to her office, he went to the roof and . . . jumped. Two days ago, another vet, Brianne Davis, shot herself.”

  “Brianne Davis!” Lucy pressed a hand to her chest. “I know her.”

  “How?” Gavin asked.

  “She and Helen met in the group therapy sessions. They had a lot in common. Brianne had worked in the hospital with Helen in Afghanistan, and she assisted in the surgeries after the bombing.” She swiped a stray tear. “Neither she nor Helen were ever the same after that.”

  “So, Dr. McCandless worked with Brianne as well?”

  “Yes.”

  Sarah frowned. “That’s three patients of hers who have committed suicide in the last few weeks? I don’t like those odds at all.”

  Gavin shook his head. “I’m inclined to agree with you.”

  “So, what does all this mean?” Lucy asked.

  “I don’t know,” Gavin said, “but I think we’re getting closer to figuring it out.”

  “One more question,” Sarah said.

  “Of course.”

  “Who was Helen’s doctor?”

  “Dr. Kilgore.”

  Gavin tensed and caught her eye. “Okay. Now I have another question. Was Helen on any medication?”

  “Several. An antidepressant, something for her blood pressure, and she took something to sleep at night.”

  “Do you have the names of the meds?”

  Lucy bit her lip and shook her head. “I threw everything like that out shortly after Helen died.”

  “Could you get the names of the meds from the doctor?” Sarah asked.

  “I suppose. I’ll see what I can do.”


  “Thank you.” She looked at Gavin. “I think the next step is Dustin’s house, but we can’t go without Caden.”

  “Of course.”

  Sarah called Caden while Gavin chatted with Lucy. When Sarah hung up, she nodded. “He’s going to meet us there.”

  Gavin stood. “I’m ready when you are.”

  Sarah stood outside Dustin’s duplex door and drew in a steadying breath. He’d lived in the place for only three days before he’d jumped off the roof of the hospital. How moved in could he have been? Gavin was still on the phone with whoever he’d called to get information about Dr. Helen Craft.

  Caden had just driven up. “Not thinking about going in without me, are you?” he asked as he approached.

  Sarah snorted. “How do you expect me to do that? You’re the one with the key.”

  He joined her at the bottom of the steps, fingers clenched. He unfurled them to study the little piece of metal. “Dustin gave me this the last time I saw him. Said he wanted me to have access to the place so I could do surprise searches.”

  “He wanted to be held accountable,” she said. “He was planning ahead, Caden. Someone who does that doesn’t jump off hospital roofs.”

  “I know.”

  Gavin hung up and joined them. “Three people dead of suicide, all treated by the same doctor, all taking medications prescribed by that doctor. I don’t know what the puzzle is going to look like once it’s finished, but I have a bad feeling about it all.”

  Caden unlocked the door and pushed it open. “So, let’s see if we can find some more pieces.”

  Sarah stepped around him and took in the chaos. Upon closer inspection, she could see it was organized chaos. Boxes lined the walls, but they were labeled. To her right was the dining area. A table and four chairs were tucked into the space in front of the bay window overlooking the backyard. Off that was the galley kitchen.

  Straight ahead, the hallway led to the back of the duplex. Sarah headed that way, passing a bedroom on the left and a bathroom on the right. She ended at the master bedroom. Dustin had placed a mattress on the floor under the window with an end table next to that, but no other furniture. His clothes were stacked in neat piles against the wall nearest the closet. He’d tossed a pair of jeans onto the impeccably made-up mattress. She picked up the denim and buried her face in the fabric, inhaling.

  “They still smell like him,” she whispered.

  “Don’t do this to yourself,” Caden said, his voice husky.

  “Wish he’d asked for help,” she muttered.

  “I know.”

  “Could have at least gotten him a dresser or something.”

  “Sarah.”

  She dropped the jeans back onto the bed and glanced at her brother, her emotions roiling near the surface. “What?”

  “He wanted to do things his way. He was an adult. Interfering would have only caused him to distance himself.”

  “Like I’ve done with the general?”

  He shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”

  Gavin stood in the doorway watching, the compassion in his eyes nearly her undoing.

  Sarah headed for the master bathroom, her heart aching. How she missed Dustin. She’d missed him in a different way while they were in Afghanistan together, but at least she had the hope of seeing him at some point in the future. Now, his absence left a hole in her chest, like a piece of her heart was missing. And while the thought of seeing Dustin in heaven gave her comfort, the grief of the temporary earthly separation still hurt.

  With a shaking hand, she opened the medicine cabinet.

  “Need any help in here?” Gavin asked from the doorway.

  “I’m looking for drugs,” she said. “I want to know every chemical he put in his body. Maybe he mixed up some medications and it messed up his thinking. Or something.”

  He studied the contents of the cabinet. “Maybe.”

  She pulled down three bottles. “Antidepressant, decongestant, prescription-strength Motrin, something I don’t recognize, and another something I’m not sure about. You know what they are?”

  She handed him the two bottles and he pulled his phone from his pocket. “That’s what Google is for.” A quick search had him frowning. “One is a painkiller. The other a muscle relaxer.”

  “Well, I sure hope he wasn’t taking all three of those at the same time.” She paused. “Of course, that’s not what killed him, so I guess not.”

  “I’m not a medical doctor, but those would all just make him sleepy. And if he’d taken them together, he would have fallen asleep and died. None of those are going to make him jump off a building.”

  “Unless he was depressed and taking none of them,” Sarah said. But that didn’t fit with what Caden or the psychiatrist had described. “And assuming this is all of the medications he’d been prescribed.”

  “I’ll check the kitchen and make sure there’s nothing else in there,” Caden said. “I looked through his closet. There are some boxes with personal papers in there. I guess we’ll need to go through those at some point. He’s actually pretty organized. I found his life insurance policy and other stuff.” Caden blinked and looked away. Cleared his throat. “I talked to his landlord a couple of days ago, and Dustin’s rent is paid through the end of this month. I’ll extend that if we need to. Now I’m going to see if there are any more pill bottles in the kitchen.” He headed back down the hallway, and Sarah blinked back tears.

  Gavin pulled her into a hug, and she leaned her forehead against his chest, taking comfort in his presence even while her brain was telling her to back away. At the same time, another part of her head was rationalizing that it was just a hug. And she desperately needed a hug.

  And yet another part of her mind reminded her that Caden was in the other room and would be more than willing to comfort her should she let him know she needed it.

  Sarah ignored the snarky voice on top of all of her roller-coaster feelings. Gavin wasn’t anything like her father. And he was going a long way in proving that.

  “No more pills,” Caden said from the hallway.

  Sarah pulled away from Gavin and turned to face the doorway. Caden stepped into the bathroom.

  “Anything more in here?” Caden’s gaze bounced between the two of them, and she thought she saw a flicker of curiosity, but thankfully, he kept his curiosity to himself.

  “No,” Sarah said, “nothing.” She walked back into the bedroom and spied the jeans on the bed one more time. And sighed. She couldn’t just leave them like that. She picked them up by the waistband.

  “What is it?” Gavin asked.

  “I want to fold them.” A tear slipped down her cheek. She used the jeans to wipe it away. “I just want to fold them for him.”

  “Ah, Sarah.” She met Caden’s gaze. He remembered.

  She shot a wobbly smile at Gavin. “I used to fold his pants for him. Mom would make us do our own laundry, and Dustin hated folding his jeans—or anything really. So he’d bribe me into doing it. Later, I did it because I loved him.” She put the waist edges together and smoothed the legs, one on top of the other. Then creased them in the middle and let the top half fall over her forearm.

  One little pill fell out of a pocket to roll onto the rug. “What’s that?” Caden asked.

  She picked it up. “His last dose of meds he didn’t get to take?” It looked familiar. A little yellow triangular pill. “Hey, wait a minute. I saw this at Brianne’s house. She has the same prescription.”

  Gavin looked over her shoulder. “That’s the same kind of pill Wilmont stole and took. He thought they were a narcotic, but they’re not.”

  “The label says they are. This looks like the same ones that were in the pill bottle on Brianne’s counter. The one I knocked over.”

  “Citalopram.”

  “Nice,” Caden said, “give an addict something else to get addicted to.”

  “Well, I’m not sure Brianne was an addict. And there’s no bottle here to match it up to.”
/>   “Then what’s he doing with it?”

  “No idea.”

  “These are the only bottles in the house as far as I can tell,” Caden said. “I don’t think he would keep any anywhere else, do you?”

  “I don’t know, Cade, I feel like I don’t even know who Dustin was anymore.” She left the bedroom and headed into the den area. Then the kitchen. The guys followed her. “Did you check the fridge?”

  “Yeah. It wasn’t full, but it was all food he bought the day before he jumped.” He held up a small piece of paper. “Found the receipt in one of the bags. He was probably going to file it somewhere.”

  “Again, not the sign of a person planning not to be around.”

  She opened the first drawer. Three forks, a couple of knives, two spoons, and a manual can opener. The next drawer held receipts and other small pieces of paper. “Found his filing system.”

  “I meant to come back to that,” Caden said. “I was on a hunt for pill bottles, not papers.”

  Sarah laid the papers on the counter while Gavin started going through the other drawers. “Receipts for gas, fast-food runs, and . . . what’s this?”

  “What?” The guys stepped over.

  “It’s a shipping receipt from the post office near the hospital. It’s got my name on it, but it’s my neighbor’s address. Why would Dustin send something here when he knew I was in Afghanistan?”

  “You were approved to come home for Thanksgiving, right?” Caden asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Dustin was too. Maybe he sent you an early Christmas present but didn’t want you to get it and open it.”

  She nodded. “So, he sent it to Mrs. Howard for safekeeping?”

  “Possibly.”

  She squinted at the label. “He mailed it two days before he . . . jumped.” She swallowed. “I’ll have to go by and get it, along with the rest of the mail I had forwarded to her.”

  And soon.

  Gavin’s phone rang and he excused himself to answer it. She heard him say, “Yes sir, I’m fine, thanks.” Then he slipped from earshot.

  “Who’s that?” Sarah asked, a picture album in her hand.

  He shrugged and took the book from her. “Not sure. Give him a few minutes. He’s still got clients to keep happy.”