An Affair Abroad

by T. K. Richards

  Man and wife were pronounced, then cocktail hour entertained the guests as we posed for a million photographs on the hotel property. Watching the newlyweds love on each other made me grow antsy to get to the reception hall. The celebration began, the wedding party introduced, and still no sign of Mash. The first couple dance ended. Taylor danced with her father, Levi with his mother and then mother-in-law, and the dance floor opened to everyone. It was then I realized, ‘He’s not coming.’

  It wasn’t the way I would have said goodbye, but I understood the gift he was giving me. Our time would forever be cherished, I just wished I could feel his arms around me once more. If I had known our last kiss, would be our final kiss, I would have held it a while longer.

  Listening to speeches and toasts and watching friends and family dance, I lost my composure. I needed to get to my phone, which was forbidden during the ceremony. I slipped out of the reception and went up to our room, searching for something with his scent on it, but he had packed all of his belongings when he left for France. The only thing remaining in the room with his aroma was the pillow he slept on. I held it in my arms, imprinting the fragrance on my brain.

  My phone had zero missed calls and one unopened text, not from him. I paced the room in disbelief, ‘You did this to yourself.’ And I did. I let this happen. I lost control. I ignored my brain and listened to my heart. I was to blame.

  A knock on the door disturbed me from my insanity. I ran to it with hopes I had worked myself up for nothing. Still no Mash. It was Khai. She had been watching me play pretend all day, and came to console my aching heart.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked holding my hand.

  “I’m such a fool,” I cried.

  “You’re far from a fool. What’s going on?”

  “The fairytale is over. He’s not coming.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Absolutely nothing. No call, no text, no show. And I get it. Why prolong the inevitable when he was already free from me ya know? Why leave Paris and come back here. He’s not tied to me. He doesn’t owe me anything.”

  “Sweetie, you’re getting yourself all worked up. And for nothing I’m sure. He wouldn’t just ditch you like that,” she assured me.

  “How do you know?”

  “I saw you two together with my own eyes. He’s crazy about you. Not to worry you, but maybe something happened. Like he missed his plane, or someone stole his phone so he couldn’t call you. I’m sure he doesn’t know your number by heart. No one knows anyone’s number by heart. Calm down. Okay. If you haven’t heard from him tonight, then worry. But right now, you need to come downstairs and enjoy yourself. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  She wiped my dripping mascara, and touched up the red areas on my face, concealing the emotional rollercoaster I was experiencing. We returned to the party, where I masked my true feelings by dancing with a persistent groomsman. Once he became hard to shake, I faked a cramp and sat alone in the spectator chairs. Straight-faced and forlorn, occasionally faking a smile.

  Simpering face Isla spotted me sitting alone. It was the moment she’d been waiting for all week. Tension ran down my spine just looking at her, but I had to be strong, and not let her belittle me, or get me riled up. ‘Keep your cool. Don’t let her see you like this. Don’t give her the satisfaction,’ I preached to myself.

  “Where is Mister 1s and 2s? I haven’t seen him around for a few days. Trouble in paradise already?” she probed.

  “Humph. Mister 1’s and 2’s. That’s cute. How long did it take for you to come up with that one?”

  “I’m just teasing. But, where is he? I thought Taylor said he was your plus one?”

  “You and Taylor have been doing a lot of talking about me and my plus one. Why is that?”

  “What do you mean?” she stuttered hiding her guilt.

  “I heard you last night. And I quote, “This weekend was supposed to be about you, and Nadia’s been running around town with her nose wide open over a fling. She’s in la la land.” End quote. Sound familiar?”

  “Did you seriously think it was something more? You’re smarter than that.”

  “Isla, humor me. If he chose you that night, what would you have done?”

  “Don’t deflect. I was simply saying it was embarrassing how you were carrying on. But seeing as though he isn’t here, I’m sure you’ve snapped back into reality. Sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted.”

  “Now look who’s deflecting. You didn’t answer my question.”

  “You didn’t answer mine. Do you know what your problem is Nadia?”

  “Her problem is she isn’t dancing with me,” interrupted Mash.

  Reaching for my hand in a tailored tan suit accentuating his broad shoulders, and a powder blue oxford shirt, he rescued me from Satan’s daughter. I rose to my feet, coyly smiling with my head down, elated he was in front of me.

  He escorted me to the dance floor and I gleefully followed his lead.

  “Do you know what you’re doing captain. This is a fast song,” I teased.

  “Let’s pretend it’s a slow one,” he said holding me close, “You look amazing by the way.”

  “You clean up well yourself. Very dapper look you got going on here.”

  “Have you been crying?” he asked kissing my neck.

  “I had a slight meltdown, but I’m okay now.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  “I didn’t think I was going to see you again.”

  He held me from the nape of my neck, and placed his head against my mine, “I’m sorry I’m so late. I would never do something like that to you. I had a few errands to run before leaving Paris. One was finding these guys a wedding gift. Then of course, I had to get you something. I had to fight traffic, rush home to get dressed, get back in traffic, and now I’m here.”

  “Like I said before, I overanalyze everything. I thought you were making a clean break from me without all the drama.”

  “Look at me,” he demanded holding my chin up, “I told you I love you the other night. I mean what I say, and I say what I mean. Never forget that.”

  “I love you too.”

  “I would have called, but you told me you wouldn’t have your phone at the wedding. I got here as fast as I could. You have no idea how gutted I’ve been these past two days. I’ve done nothing but dread tomorrow. I want you to stay.”

  The thought had crossed my mind, but it was wishful thinking. I didn’t dare tell him that. Instead I replied, “I wish I could.”

  “Tell me why you can’t.”

  “You know why. My life is across the ocean.”

  “You can write from anywhere. I want you here with me. Let me show you the world. I’ve thought this through and I know it can work,” he pulled me in closer.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Promise me you’ll think about it,” he sighed in my ear.

  “I promise.”

  I inhaled his scent as we continued to dance, wrapped in one another’s arms, slow dragging to the fast song playing, and the slow one after that. The dance floor was cleared to witness the bride and groom cut the cake. Levi and Mash shared a congratulatory embrace, and got on as they did earlier in the week. He placed an envelope in Levi’s hand, “This is from the both of us.”

  We joined everyone at the banquet room doors, throwing lavender and dried flowers at the wedded couple, glowing upon their exit. To speed up the bridal party duties, both the maids and grooms delivered the gifts to Taylor’s parent’s suite.

  Mash and I disappeared to our room filled with a range of emotions. We lied in bed laughing at the tele, snuggled close with sporadic moments of passionate lip exchanges. He wiped my tears when they fell, gazed at me in silence, and avoided eye contact with me when I added items to my luggage.

  He stared at the floor from the edge of the bed in the middle of the night, and I went to him, still contemplating his request for
me to stay. Kissing his shoulders and squeezing him tightly, I listened to him sigh in disappointment.

  I wanted to say I would stay, but I was afraid. Afraid to be alone in London without my friends and family nearby as a safety net. Afraid he was who I had been searching for and I would mess it up. Afraid to take a chance.

  “This is going to sound weird, but may I have the t-shirt you wore tonight?” I asked.

  He removed my arms from around him, folded it neatly, and placed it in my bag. He sat in the chair near the mini bar, and poured himself a shot, “Leave me something of yours as well.”

  “Like what?”

  “Whatever you want me to have,” avoiding eye contact with me.

  “Can we at least discuss how and when we are going to see each other again?”

  “I’ll send you my schedule. You pick which city you want to come to, and I’ll fly you in.”

  “What about you coming to see me?”

  “I’ll come when you tell me to.”

  “Are we okay?”

  “Yeah. I just hate this day has finally come.”

  He threw his head back and gulped the harsh brown. I minced to the bar and stood in front of him, stroking his hair while pressing his head against my stomach. He looked up at me and told me he missed me already, kissing the back of my hand while rubbing on the back of my thighs. I hadn’t felt his touch in two days, and my legs withered at his fingertips. It was time. He knew it. I knew it. We had become addicted to one another. Sexually. Wholeheartedly.

  He grazed my nipples with his teeth. Toying with them, forcing the nerves in my drip to pulse. My bosom saluted him, pointing at the tip with each nip. I stood in front of him, holding on to his shoulders with a confounded mind, wondering what was this hold he had on me, but also how was I going to get along back home with him.

  Seductive kisses began to melt against my skin. His approach was tender this time. Delicate strokes brushed up and down my back. Elongated kisses upon my neck. Now standing, he danced with me in circles around the small space beside the bar, then carried me to the bed. His fingers drew lines from my feet, all the way up my legs as if he were making a mental image of them to keep. Then he kissed the exterior of my orifice with a closed mouth. Not once. Not twice. Several slow and gentle pecks, observing the shocks in between.

  ‘Was this our last time together,’ I wondered.

  I squirmed as I wanted him inside of me, but he made me wait for him. His tongue licked me everywhere it could reach, Frenching my lower lips as if it had a tongue of its own. I groused with my hands running through his hair. Sighing for him to ease the pain of my departure. And then he hovered over me. Waiting to give me what I craved. Lingered atop of my desperate begging body, he looked into my eyes and rubbed his thumbs across my cheeks, then traced the outline of my bitten lips with his index finger.

  I grew weak from all of the attention he was giving me, “Put it in,” I begged, but he wouldn’t. He wasn’t done studying me. I pled again, “Mash, please let me feel you inside me.” He wouldn’t budge. He was in control, showing me what I would miss if I left.

  And so, I lie there patiently beneath him, gazing into his eyes and brushing his face against mine, going mad from depravation, bracing for his vast entrance. “Unh,” I whimpered from gratification the torture was over. He grinned as if he was looking forward to hearing the sound leave my mouth. Back and forth we moved in unison, looking away deep into each other’s eyes. “Stay” he said. I looked away. “Stay,” he repeated resting his head on my shoulder. I gasped in between jabs, never responding to his request, losing the battle of holding back tears.

  My grind from below excited him. He wrapped my legs around his waist, moaning insatiably from the build-up. My ass encompassed his pressing palms, bringing me up further as he drilled for my black gold. “Let me hear you say my name one last time,” he ordered.

  “Maximus,” I moaned.

  “Again.”

  “It’s not the last time.”

  “Again.”

  “Maximus,” I cried.

  “I love you.”

  The climax was bittersweet. I hadn’t felt so good and so bad at the same time ever in life. I was riddled with guilt, and without explanation, but mainly perplexed at his word choice, one last time. Distance doesn’t work well for most relationships, and I took his words to mean he was giving up before we started.

  I listened to him drift off, then slithered from underneath his arm. So much was on my mind I couldn’t sleep. I texted Khai:

  You up?

  I am now.

  Can I come down? Please?

  Sure thing.

  The door was held open with the bolt lock out of place. Khai sat propped up on the bed looking at me with her-this better be good-face. I sat at the foot of the bed, “You know how you’ve always been there for me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you in my life.”

  “If this is about Taylor and Isla being shady to you, don’t sweat it. We’re friends, but sometimes friends get jealous of one another. It’ll blow over.”

  “Maybe. But you know how the two of them have their thing, and you and I have our thing, and all four of us have Shannon?”

  “Yeah, that’s true.”

  “He asked me to stay Khai. I won’t have you to run to if I do.”

  “Stay as in move here?”

  “I guess. I haven’t asked him to go into detail about it. He just keeps repeating stay, stay, stay.”

  “Do you want to?”

  “I have no fucking clue what I want! I wanted a good man. I found him. A gotdamn diamond in the rough to be exact. I’ve wanted someone to love me. And not just say it. But show it. And he does that. But why does he have to live on the other side of the world? If I stay, I’m giving up my world—for a man…That’s sounds so bizarre don’t you think?”

  “It is a hard one. Especially this day and age when we are all talking about women’s rights, and the fight for equality.”

  “And here I am considering doing something as bonkers as staying in another country for a man.”

  “But he’s a good man,” Khai restated.

  “Is he? We’ve known him for seven days. No, no, no I can’t stay. My mother would kill me. I’d lose my best friend. I’d be over here all alone. Just forget I even came down here and bothered you.”

  I stood to leave, then sat back down in confusion. Silence sat between us as Khai stared at me half smiling, and half laughing at the back of her throat, “Nadia, did you come down here so I could tell you what to do?”

  “Maybe. No. I don’t know. Probably.”

  “Well I can’t make this decision for you. But I will say, you should clarify what he means by stay. Maybe he wants you to stay for a few extra days. That wouldn’t be so bad. Ask him.”

  “A few days wouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Exactly, but you have to have the conversation.”

  “And what if he means a few weeks?”

  “Then you need to decide, if he’s worth you giving him that kind of time and attention. What are you afraid of?”

  “That this will end like it did with Dylan. Being used and betrayed and thrown away like a piece of trash. That if I stay, he’ll get bored with me and ship me home when he’s ready, and I will have lost all of my respect,” I explained wiping tears before they fell.

  “This one is nothing like Dylan. I’ve seen how Vanilla Ice looks at you. And you him,” she joked.

  My mouth fell open, and my tears fell as a hard laugh echoed from my stomach. Trying to catch my breath I uttered, “Don’t make me laugh,” but we both were falling over and guffawing.

  Moments later we simmered down, and Khai alerted me, “Everyone saw how he looks at you. I bet you didn’t know all eyes were on you two when you were dancing. And I saw his face when he showed up tonight.”

  “He said he loves me.”<
br />
  “And I believe he does.”

  “I said it too.”

  “I knew it!” she exclaimed clapping her hands.

  “You don’t think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

  “I think you’re scared more than anything. Look, if you stay, you won’t lose me girl. Hell, your man is rich he can fly me back and forth. By the way. Before you go I need to remind you, you owe me something.”

  “What?”

  “The 411. Is it good girl?”

  “Do all donkeys have a cross on their back?”

  I left her holding her hands over her mouth. Mash was in the same spot I left him in. I crawled next to him and kissed his arm, his face, his shoulder and his neck while watching him sleep. I put my foot under his shin and stared at the clock, waiting for the alarm to sound. Eventually, the night got the best of me and I woke to a ringing telephone, and a fully dressed Mr. Sharper.

  The room was silent, filled with tension and sadness. The housekeeping carts squeaked as they were pushed from room to room near our door, and became the topic at hand. “They begin early, don’t they,” I said. He glanced in my direction with half an impish grin.

  I threw on the sweat suit I arrived in, and zipped up my final bag. Mash gathered the load with me close behind, and the click on the door triggered him. He stopped before making it to the elevator, held my hand, then offered to drive me to the airport. “That won’t be necessary, but thank you,” I declined.

  Our fingers entangled on the ride down until we reached the lobby floor. Mash settled the bill while I stood with the other passengers waiting to board the shuttle. I encouraged the others to go ahead of me, waiting for my girls and Mash with my bags. My hands began shaking as I stood on the curb, then I felt his hands cover mine from behind. He wrapped me in his arms one final time and felt my body quivering.