Throttled

by Stella Bixby

“Do you think Debbie really wanted Jordan dead?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. It looks like it. But that’s not up to me to find out.”

  “My uncle was right,” Nikki said. “You’d make a good cop.”

  “I don’t want to be a cop. I’m perfectly happy being a park pig,” I said, and she actually cracked a smile. “I just wish we could have saved Alex.” My emotions crashed over me like a wave. Apparently, now that the mystery was solved, my body thought it was okay to go all weepy-mode on me. Tomato-face was about to come out in full force.

  “Me too,” Nikki said putting an arm around my shoulders.

  We cried together until Garrett showed up.

  26

  The holiday party and gift exchange made working on Christmas Eve almost tolerable. So did the fact that Shayla and I had met with Marlene the day before and now all I could think of was moving into our gorgeous new apartment.

  Life had settled since we were no longer investigating anything. Reginald walked up to my truck carrying an entire tray of brownies.

  “These are for you,” he said. “For saving Polly.”

  “I’m so glad she’s okay.”

  “Better than okay. I think the near-death experience encouraged her to live a fuller life.”

  I searched for hints of a joke in his voice but could find none. “Do you mind if I share these with the other rangers?”

  “Not at all,” he said. “I heard you figured out what happened with those boys. It was a girl, wasn’t it?”

  “You were right,” I said. “It was a girl.”

  “Boys and their—”

  “Nope.” I shook my head. “Don’t say it.”

  He laughed. “Anyone catching anything today?”

  The weather had warmed significantly, and fishermen dotted the ice. “Not that I’ve heard of.”

  “That’s okay. A bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work.” He waved as he walked away. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas,” I replied.

  “Brownies? I didn’t know you baked,” Dusty joked when I walked into the banquet hall.

  “I don’t,” I laughed. “Reginald wanted to thank me for saving his dog.”

  “I helped,” Antonio said.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll share.” I smiled, but he didn’t smile back.

  “The brownies or the glory?” Seamus asked.

  “Both, I guess.” I stuck out my tongue at him.

  The banquet hall was completely decked out with lights and tinsel. It was warm and cozy and the perfect place to hold a party.

  “Should we start the gift exchange?” Carmen asked, her tone even more bubbly than usual.

  Everyone sat in a circle of chairs around a pile of gifts. We’d brought them in on the sly so no one knew exactly which one was from whom. I had my eye on the tiny one on top.

  We picked numbers. Greg got number one meaning he got to go first and last. I got five. Right in the middle.

  Nikki sat right next to me. “Debbie confessed,” she whispered as Greg began looking through the stack of gifts. “But Jordan wasn’t as innocent as he acted.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “You were right about them coming out here together. They were making out, taking off their clothes, and then Debbie changed her mind, but Jordan didn’t want to lose his opportunity. When he wasn’t taking no for an answer, Debbie nailed him with her purse, took his clothes, and left. She thought he’d wake up and do the walk of shame. When he didn’t show up at morning practice, she called the ranger line.”

  “She was the hang-up?” I asked.

  Nikki nodded. “But she chickened out. Didn’t want to get in trouble.”

  “Well, that backfired. What are they going to charge her with?” I asked.

  “Still trying to figure that out. It’s a mess.”

  Greg shook one of the boxes.

  “Which one are you going to pick?” Nikki asked.

  “Oh yeah, like I’d tell you,” I said. She had number four, and even though we were friendly now, I could see her taking it just because I wanted it.

  “I want the little one on top,” she whispered.

  At first, I was irritated, but then I realized I would get to see what it was. And if it was something good, I could steal it.

  “I bet it’s a ring,” she said.

  Greg made his first choice and ended up with a collection of coffees. Dusty was next.

  “A ring?” I laughed. “Who would bring a ring for a gift exchange?”

  She shrugged. “A girl can hope.”

  “I’m going to get that big one over there,” Seamus said from my other side. “The one with the moose wrapping paper that looks like a toddler wrapped it.”

  That was the gift I’d brought.

  And wrapped.

  I couldn’t bake or wrap gifts. So what?

  He’d like the assortment of gift cards I’d wrapped in a big box to throw everyone off. I hardly ever used gift cards and they accumulated at the bottom of my purse. It was a cheap and easy gift idea.

  Dusty got a set of grilling tools. “I knew I should have stolen the coffee,” he said.

  “Don’t like grilling?” Seamus asked.

  “I already have a set,” Dusty replied. “I’m the grill master.”

  “Prove it,” Ben said. “We should have a grill off and see who wins.”

  “Then they can hold the title of grill master,” Seamus agreed.

  Dusty sat, his legs spread wide, his arm resting over the back of the chair. “You’re on.”

  “Who has number three?” Carmen asked.

  Antonio raised his hand. He took his time circling the pile that was now two presents short. Finally, he pulled one from the inside. “This one looks like it has my name on it,” he said. His gaze flickered to me but quickly away. I would have thought saving the dog together might have broken our tension, but for some reason, he was still giving me the cold shoulder.

  He carefully unwrapped the bow topping the green and white polka dot paper. When he took the lid off the box, he smiled. “I do not know what I am going to do with these,” he said holding up a pair of pink fuzzy dice.

  Everyone laughed. He twirled them around and put them back in the box. “If anyone would like to steal some premium fuzzy dice, they are here for the taking.”

  Nikki stood before Carmen even called her number and snatched the small box off the top of the pile. She ripped the wrapping paper off and pulled out a Denver Bronco’s necklace. Someone had to have broken the spending limit, even if the diamonds were fake.

  “I guess there’s not much chance I’m going to get to keep that, is there?” she asked me.

  I handed Carmen my number five and held out a hand. “I’d like to steal that please.”

  The guys all let out oohs in unison.

  Nikki handed me the box. “That’s okay, it wouldn’t have gone with anything I own anyway.”

  She stood and grabbed the huge box I’d brought. “Gift cards? Seriously?” She plopped back down in her chair, obviously not thrilled with her gift.

  “I’ll take those,” Seamus said handing his number six to Carmen and taking the box away from Nikki.

  “Oh thank God.” She stood and weighed her options in the pile. She eyed the necklace I’d just stolen from her. Technically she could steal it back, but she’d made such a fuss about it not matching anything she owned. She turned back and grabbed a small bag.

  “I can handle this,” she said pulling out a black knit beanie.

  It was like a sigh of relief washed through the room. When Nikki wasn’t happy, no one was happy.

  I glanced up from my necklace to find Antonio staring at me from across the room. I smiled again, but he instantly looked away.

  And I had to close the reservoir with him.

  Lovely.

  Only a few more hours and I’d be home with my family and Garrett and Fizzy opening our one gift.

  The gift exchange
went quickly after that. Nikki got a few other gifts stolen, but ended up stealing her beanie back in the end. Greg said he was happy with his coffee and the game came to a close.

  I fastened the necklace around my neck and tucked it under my uniform. Who might have gotten it? I searched the room. Probably Ben. He was always thinking of how to include Nikki and me. I could see him asking his wife to pick out something she thought we’d like.

  Once the party was over, Antonio made himself scarce the rest of the shift, only calling me once to let me know he was taking his dinner break. I had half a mind to confront him about his behavior, but I didn’t have the energy.

  I was counting down the seconds until the shift was over. The thought of Garrett hanging out with my family without me made me slightly uneasy. I mean, he could hold his own, but I could just imagine my mother pulling out the baby books and telling him stories of how I pooped in the bathtub or something.

  I reached into my bag for a snack, and my hand came into contact with something I definitely hadn’t put there. I flipped on the truck light and pulled out a worn composition notebook titled Volume 21. Nothing else.

  The cover made a cracking noise when I opened it to find a loose piece of paper—a letter.

  Newbie,

  Here you are, a Prairie City Park Ranger. Dream job or not, we can all use a little help. Sometimes the job is fun, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes we have good interactions, sometimes they’re horrible.

  Do as you wish with your time, but don’t keep the journal longer than a week. DO NOT sign your name. Anonymity is key. If the journal is lost, it never existed. Start a new one with the sequential volume number.

  Once you’re finished with it, pass it to another ranger without them knowing it came from you. Put it in their bag, on their desk, in their truck, etc. Never discuss the journal. If someone brings it up, act as if it doesn’t exist.

  Because it doesn’t.

  Burn this letter once you’ve memorized the rules.

  Congratulations on being part of the team.

  My heart raced. A secret journal? I flipped through the pages eager to read every last thing within. Some pages held bullet-pointed lists, others poorly drawn comic strips. A few had what looked like songs or poems.

  Thoughts and opinions from my co-workers were displayed in all their glory. I couldn’t wait to add my own touches.

  I gently returned the journal to my duty bag and started around the reservoir to close the back gates. Being part of a team again made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

  Once all the gates were closed, I traded my ranger truck for Cherry Anne and made my way to the main gate.

  “There are four cars left in the park,” Antonio said without looking at me. “I am going to take the truck to the shop.”

  He pulled away before I could agree.

  Three cars had exited the reservoir by the time Antonio pulled up behind me with his CTS-V. The air was warmer than it had been and big fluffy snowflakes fell all around us.

  I looked at my watch. Five more minutes and this guy was getting a ticket. It was Christmas Eve for crying out loud.

  “Any plans for Christmas?” I asked Antonio.

  “I am going to my mother and father’s for Christmas dinner.”

  “That sounds fun,” I said.

  He grunted.

  “Okay, what did I do? Why are you so mad at me?” I was tired of this. “We have to work together, and it’s no fun when you completely avoid me all the time.”

  “Work is not supposed to be fun. It is work.”

  “It used to be fun. Like when you taught me how to drive the boat.”

  “You taught yourself. I was only there to help you get out of your head.” I thought I saw a faint smile on his lips for a second before it disappeared.

  “But it was fun. And now you can’t even look me in the eye. Why?”

  He took a step toward me. “Do you want to know? Do you really want to know?”

  “Yes,” I said as bravely as I could with him standing so close to me.

  “I cannot stand to be around you. It makes my skin crawl.”

  Ouch.

  I hadn’t quite expected that. I looked down at my feet, but he hooked a finger under my chin bringing my gaze back to his.

  “Do not take that the wrong way.” His Italian accent was strong with emotion. “It is a good and terrible thing. You are so beautiful and funny and you drive me absolutely crazy.”

  “Okay . . .”

  “You do not get it.” He dropped his hand back to his side. “You are taken. And I am your co-worker. And we might work together for a very long time. Work romances never work—even if you were single.”

  “So you’re just going to ignore me? We can’t be friends?” Tears pooled in my eyes for reasons I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  “No. We cannot be friends.”

  “You’re friends with Nikki.”

  “I do not like Nikki. Not like that.”

  “You used to,” I shot back.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I did not. There is something about you, Rylie Cooper. Something that makes me want to—” He took a step away and reached both of his hands over his head like he was stretching for a race.

  “Want to what?”

  “Nothing. It is nothing.”

  “You have a girlfriend.”

  “She is not my girlfriend. The Italian Stallion cannot be tamed.”

  I rolled my eyes. The Italian Stallion crap was getting old. How I’d found it endearing in the first place was beyond me.

  “Fine. Then I guess we’ll just ignore each other for the next twenty or thirty years until one of us retires or dies.” I shook my head. “Do you want to go in and write this guy a ticket or should I?”

  I was done waiting. I wanted to get home and drink some eggnog and eat some poorly decorated cookies my nephews had made.

  “It is Christmas Eve. Give the guy a break,” Antonio said. “And I do not want to ignore each other. I do not know how to behave around you. I say idiotic things, things that could get me slapped or even fired.”

  “Then don’t say those things,” I said. “When we were on the boat you didn’t say anything bad. Why can’t we—”

  But before I could finish my sentence Antonio’s lips were on mine. His stubble scratched my cheeks as his tongue darted in and out of my mouth.

  When he pulled away my lips tingled. The faint scent of his spicy cologne lingered around me.

  “Dammit,” he said. “I have promised myself I would not do that.”

  I stood there in shock. I hadn’t pushed him away. Why hadn’t I pushed him away?

  “I apologize,” Antonio said. “I will not let it happen again.”

  “It, uh—” I couldn’t find the words. “I have a boyfriend.”

  “I know.” Antonio shook his head.

  My fingers touched my lips where he’d kissed me.

  Headlights appeared over the hill. The final car zoomed past us.

  Antonio closed the gate and locked it in place. “I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Rylie. I am glad you like the necklace I bought.”

  “You bought the necklace?” I reached up and touched the metal.

  “For you.” He shook his head and slid into his front seat leaving me standing in the falling snow with tears in my eyes and a stupid smile on my face.

  What had I done?

  27

  Shayla wasn’t answering her phone, and I didn’t know who else I could tell. Nikki surely wasn’t the right person.

  My mind raced back to that kiss. Guilt and pleasure co-mingled in my gut.

  How could I have done that to Garrett? I was a cheater. I was no better than my ex-boyfriend Troy and giraffe-girl sidepiece. I had never cheated before.

  But Antonio had kissed me. Out of the blue. He liked me. And for some reason I wanted him to. Maybe more than Garrett. But why? For the excitement? Because Antonio was the bad boy?

  Garrett was the bette
r option. He was the right option. Antonio was the typical guy I dated. He would break my heart. And we were co-workers. We couldn’t be together. Not openly anyway.

  My mind raced. I picked up the phone and dialed the only number I still had memorized by heart that wasn’t one of my family members’.

  “Hey Rylie,” Luke answered on the second ring. I could hear a party in the background.

  “Antonio kissed me,” I blurted out.

  “Merry Christmas to you too.” Luke laughed.

  “What should I do?”

  “Uh, well,” Luke hesitated.

  I shouldn’t have called him. Why had I called him?

  “Never mind. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you.” I pulled the phone away from my ear and moved to hit the end button, but Luke’s voice came from the phone.

  “Rylie, don’t hang up.”

  I put the phone back up to my ear. “What?”

  “Antonio kissed you. Did you kiss him back?” His voice was quiet, and the background noise had silenced.

  “I didn’t not kiss him back.”

  Luke laughed again. He’d probably already had several drinks. “And you’re worried Garrett will be angry with you?”

  Is that what I was worried about?

  That’s what I should have been worried about.

  “Uh, yes.”

  “Just tell him the truth. That Antonio kissed you, that it didn’t mean anything, and that you still, uh, love him.” Luke choked out the last two words.

  “But what if it—”

  “Rylie.” Luke cut me off. “Antonio is not a guy you want to date. You work together. Plus, he’s a player just like Troy. Nikki’s told me stories that would make your jaw drop.”

  I nodded stupidly knowing he was right.

  “Garrett is a good guy. The kind of guy you need. Someone strong and steady and capable of balancing you out. Someone who loves you unconditionally, even if you kiss other guys, or run away and not call him for years at a time.”

  “Uh, okay,” I said.