“Yeah. That’s a standing appointment for me, so we can make it happen.” I unfolded my legs and got off my bed. He went down the stairs in front of me and I followed behind. The kitchen was dark except for the ambient lighting coming through the kitchen window. Neither of us turned on the light. He opened the freezer like he already lived here. He motioned for me to sit down and handed me the treat, pre-ripped so it would be easier to open.
We both started on our ice creams, and all of a sudden it hit me that we were using a lot of our tongues and lips. I was blushing again, and it was stupid because my group of friends and I were pretty sexual about jokes. And I wasn’t the shy type, always trying to one-up people. But this, sitting with Ruffian, was making me shy.
“Thanks for all you did tonight. I really appreciate it.” He took a long lick up the side.
“Yeah. No worries. I see you decided on a different getaway driver for tomorrow. Are you going back to Midiville?”
I was a little hurt. I had a bunch of stuff to do, but being with Ruffian and doing stuff seemed important. And I was kind of an expert on important.
“Just need a drop-off this time. No accomplices,” he offered.
“I get it. I had things to do tomorrow anyway.” Why was I feeling hurt? This was stupid. We knew each other a matter of hours. I wished I had brought my phone with me so I could distract myself with text messages from the girls.
He stood and opened a few bottom cabinets before I pointed out the one that hid the trash can in a slide-out feature and he tossed out his Popsicle stick.
I finished up my treat and stood.
“Well, thanks for the company. See you tomorrow.” I knew I wanted to be up and out of the house before him. He stayed at the bottom of the stairs, watching me go up. I looked over my shoulder and gave him a little wave. He winked.
I could not pin him down. Was he a flirt? Was he hurting or outgoing? I closed my door and rested against it for a few minutes. I’d had crushes before. They passed. This one had to hurry along because Ruffian and me living together was going to be an issue.
Chapter 16
RUFFIAN
AFTER HER DOOR closed, I went down to my room. Gaze was waiting for me at the doorjamb.
“Hey.” No Pixie to be seen.
I lifted up my chin. “Hey.”
“Can I have a few words? I feel like we might need to nail a few things down before going forward.”
I had a flutter in my stomach. I wasn’t sure how much Gaze wanted to discuss. How much he had figured out about my lifestyle.
I motioned for him to lead me into my room. “Sure thing.”
My brother was tall. Like a head taller than me tall. He sat in the chair by the desk and I sat on the bed. It squeaked underneath me.
“So while you were out, I had a talk with Ronna and Mike. They have a phone call with the social worker that was on my case, plus a lawyer. They want to make sure everything is as legal and binding as it can be.”
I scratched my cheek lightly. “That’s awful nice of them.”
“Well, they trust me and want you to be okay.” He put his hands on his knees. “But the reality is, after this break, Pixie and I go back to school. We live there. So you’d be here by yourself.”
“I appreciate you trying to look out for me, but I can take care of my business.” I didn’t change position, but the tension in the room ramped up.
“Mike and Ronna and Teddi and Austin and Milt are amazing. They treated me as one of their own from the jump. Now, you’re part your mom, but you also have my dad in you, too. And he’s a fucking bastard. So I want to make sure that whatever you do here, you won’t remind me of him for one second of one day.” He leaned forward, steepling his fingers.
Oh. This wasn’t a concern for me. He was worried about his family. And I wasn’t a part of that.
“I come in peace, brother.” I held up my hands like he had a gun on me. I knew it wouldn’t be all peaches and sunshine. The other shoe had to drop.
“That’s what I’m counting on. Teddi’s off-limits. Doing shit like you did tonight—also off-limits. Mike and Ronna will not come down on you, but I will.” He stood. “Just making sure we’re clear on how we stand. Use this turn of events like the goddamn gift it is.”
I stood as well because it was bred into me. When someone was aggressive, you had to step up. It was how I stayed in one piece growing up on the streets. Especially once I was taller than my mom. People were mostly nice and good. But sometimes they weren’t, and there was no referee to tell you when things were going too far.
Gaze scrutinized my stance. “You gonna fight me?”
“No. I just don’t sit down when a dude threatens me. I can take it to heart but also be ready to defend myself.” I could feel my nostrils flaring. This was part of the plan. Getting here, getting stable, gaining trust, and then making the score of a lifetime. Of ten lifetimes. I thought of the Conner kids and how cold it was tonight. I needed to start to speak to my crew, scope out the banks I had in mind. Do some research.
“You still down to drop me off tomorrow? Or is this the beginning of the end of our short relationship as half siblings?” I kept my fists closed, but tried to relax my shoulders.
“Yeah.” His lips slid to one side. “Sorry if this came off too harsh. I’m protective of them, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know you.”
“I get that. I do. And this has been a hell of an introduction. I appreciate how open and nice the Burathons have been, and I won’t take that for granted.” There. I threw him a bone. A nice bone. Let him think I was duly warned and properly scared. The truth was, I didn’t want to hurt any one. Not these people, not the people who worked at whatever bank I might want to rip off. I was a peaceful guy.
“Eleven o’clock, right?” He headed for the door.
“Yeah, that’d be great. Do they need me here for the phone call? Do you know what time that would be?” See? I was listening, I was conforming. You could trust me.
“I think it was at six, right around dinner. Mike’s making a roast. It’ll be the best one you ever ate, so I highly recommend making it in time to try it.” Gaze got up and headed for my door. I got what he was throwing down. A warning. A threat. A promise. That was fine. He could draw all the lines he needed to. I had too many people counting on me to be concerned about his impression of me. Tomorrow I headed to Poughkeepse.
_______________
I WAS BY Gaze’s truck by ten forty-five. I had my bag with me. I wasn’t leaving my stuff at the Burathons’ house. Not yet. If someone went into my room, they wouldn’t even know I’d been there for a few days. Every place lacked permanence. You just made it as good as you could until it didn’t work anymore.
Pixie Rae was out of the door first, her wide smile inviting. “Morning, little bro.”
Man. I could see why Gaze was so mesmerized by her. She just seemed like you were already her family. There was a slight edge to her, though. I recognized it in both her and Gaze. They’d been through some shit. I could see it just behind their eyes. Maybe it was how quickly they were to react to an out of place noise or the way they carried themselves. When people were new to the city, the locals could tell. Even if they seemed to know where they were going. That’s why panhandlers and hustlers would be able to pick them out as targets.
“Hey, Pixie, you look like sunshine on a rainy day.”
She looked over her shoulder at Gaze coming down the walkway and tucked her hair behind her ear as she did it.
Gaze smiled at her and then looked over her head to me. “Where are we headed?” He twirled his keys on a lanyard.
“P-town, baby. I need to do some stuff. I’ll catch the train home.” I waited to see how the seating would work, and Gaze helped me out by moving the passenger seat forward for me after opening the door.
I tossed my bag in and slid into the cramped backseat. Pixie got in the passenger seat and used the moment that Gaze was rounding the vehicle to inch her seat up a litt
le to give me more leg room.
“Thanks.” I patted the seat in front of me gently. She was for sure the way to my brother’s heart, but I doubted I needed to get that deep with him.
After Gaze was in the driver’s seat, he angled his rearview mirror at me. “You have a license?”
“A driver’s license?” I was trying to come up with a good answer besides no. I never liked that I had missed out on some of the normal teenage rites of passage. Getting a license was money. And money was a very scarce resource for me growing up. I didn’t want Gaze and Pixie thinking poorly of my mom, so I answered carefully, “I can drive.”
That was technically the truth. I could drive. I was a pretty amazing driver and was in charge of running more than a few getaway vehicles when we were doing a job. Mom had set me up the first time when I was about thirteen years old. The old minivan was a stick shift. I got a ten-minute lesson and a stern warning from her that if I stalled the car out, everyone but me would go to jail. That evening we scored ten rotisserie chickens in the dumpster of the Shoppers and a pile of electronics that Mom turned into cash and then business clothes for some of our community members who were going for job interviews.
Gaze nodded at my answer before backing out of the driveway. “Well, Pixie has a car we can use while we are at school, so if you want, I can leave this with you so you can get around.”
It felt like the oxygen was sucked out of my lungs. The olive branch and trust he was extending to me almost moved me. I tamped it down, instead recovering with a smooth, “Man, that would make my life so much easier. Thanks for offering.”
I was sure Pixie Rae was part of the new reason I was having this as an option. The Gaze that was in my room last night was not in the giving or trusting mood.
“Okay. Consider it done when we head back. We left Pixie’s car at our apartment, so we need this for now. But then you can use it while we’re away.” He turned his attention to the road and seemed pretty confident in the directions to get to Poughkeepsie. Pixie turned the radio on softly and I stared out the window. Having a truck of my own would be huge. Getting a vehicle was always the hardest part. My lack of a driver’s license was an issue I was fully prepared to ignore.
The signs just kept coming. Robbing something huge was written in the stars.
Chapter 17
TEDDI
I TIPTOED OUT onto the front lawn while holding my boots and jacket, trying to be as quiet as possible so I wouldn’t wake up Rocket.
My father was finishing raking up leaves by the hedges. “Hey, sweetie, what’s going on with you today?”
Rocket flopped up to me and licked me while I sat on the steps to put on my boots. Clearly, I was not the first person out of the house today.
I loved Dad for the trust. I knew I’d screwed up yesterday, but he still had no problem letting me do my day today.
“Taylor’s picking me up. I want to review files with a few of the girls.” I stuck one foot into my boot, the bottom of my sock now damp from moisture that clung to the driveway.
“How many are you looking at?” He rested his elbow on the top of the rake.
“We’ve got ten that have been vetted and recommended to us. I wanted to push and do two parties in December. You know the holidays can be a bitch for families.” I put my other boot on.
“Language,” he requested half-heartedly. I was the youngest and grew up around herds of boys cursing their heads off. I could throw down some spicy words if I had to.
Just then Taylor pulled up the end of the driveway and gave me a honk. My dad waved goodbye as I shuffled my messenger bag around my coat. Taylor had the music blaring and opening the car door was like popping a noise shield around the car.
I flopped in and lowered the radio. “People are still sleeping. We can’t just let it rip like that.”
Taylor stuck her tongue out at me before cranking it up again. “I love this song and you suck.”
I gave her the finger. The truth was, her car doors kept most of the sound at a reasonable level.
“So, where’s your new live-in lover this morning?” She danced her fingers along the steering wheel.
“I think he’s asleep. Gaze and Pixie are taking him somewhere today.” I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through the Instagram filters. It’d change its offerings sometimes, but I could get a good idea of a few fun ones for whomever our new client was going to be.
“It’s gonna be hard being next to that double scoop of hotness until you get used to him. Then the hotness sort of tapers down. You ever realize that? I mean, most of the time the hottest guys ruin their looks with a shitty attitude.”
“Yeah. True.” I was half listening. Of the four families we had narrowed it down to, we had a cancer patient, a patient with spina bifida, and two kids with Down syndrome. I wanted to help them all. I pulled up my Google calendar and then Google docs. I would keep everyone straight on the schedule with these tools.
“You’re not even paying attention,” Taylor observed.
“I am, but I have to focus on the Me Parties. And thinking about Ruffian doesn’t get anything done.”
Taylor curled her lip up. “You could get done. By him.”
I held up my hand so she would stop forcing me to deal with it. I had a crush on the guy. Big deal. It would pass through me eventually. Like the common cold. “Did you look at the files?”
Taylor sometimes had a hard time focusing on the work end of it, but she had a real flair for decorating and keeping the kids occupied and happy.
“I checked them out last night. December is a rough one. A lot of the teams have banquets and there are already concerts on the books. One of them requires participation to get a grade for the course.” She shook her head like this pissed her off.
“That’s true. We’ll have to bring that up. I was thinking of two families on Christmas Eve. It’d be our biggest one yet. But I’m hoping the holidays will put our sponsors in a more giving mood.” I tapped my fingers on the passenger window.
“You okay? You seem lost in thought.”
She was good at reading me. I was for sure having trouble concentrating. I worried about Lucas. Was he safe at the Seasons?
It was kind of rocking my world. I dealt in traditional families that were fighting through the worst moment of their lives. Dealing with life-altering situations made me love organizing it. But there was more suffering out there than I was thinking about every day. It was overwhelming. I could only do so much in a day.
“The football guys can’t do the car wash now that it’s getting so cold. That one we just did was the last one, so what are we going to do about that?”
“Maybe a gift certificate for a car wash?” I participated in the conversation even though my mind was drifting. I had a feeling I’d lean toward the families with the kids that had Down syndrome in honor of Lucas.
We talked a bit about the logistics of borrowing the families’ car and driving it through the wash for them, but squashed that idea for insurance reasons.
The insurance made me think of Lucas again, and how we had to sneak Grandma/Mom out of the hospital to try to avoid her getting a big bill. Mabe what I was getting my friends to do was too small? Without mine and Ruffian’s trip to the city, I would’ve never known a guy like Lucas was in need of help.
Taylor pulled into the pottery shop that let us use their crafting studio for meetings like the one we had today. We were going to look at all the cases and weigh the pros and cons of what we could provide with what the case needed.
We had the regulars, but a few less soccer team members because they were doing speed trials today. I wasn’t sure what it entailed, but I knew they all hated them. We had to run for cheer a lot, but I think our cheer coaches really tried to make it fun. The soccer coaches were very alpha in the way they yelled at their team.
“You know, with the holidays coming up, I’d love to maybe do a little something extra? Like meals for families in need?” I turned to Taylor and
watched her chew on her bottom lip while thinking.
“You know, there’s a tree in the public library that has wishes tied to it instead of decorations. We could pick some of those and really go overboard?” She grabbed her phone from the console and typed in a few words, then she held the phone out to me.
The picture of the little tree with paper stars on it was clearly part of a news article. “That’s actually a really good idea. Because the library has already identified the people in need and that sorts through some of the process for us.”
I took the phone from her and scrutinized the picture. What I could make out was a scrawl that had a stuffed dog written on it. “This is doable. Maybe we can drive down there and case the joint, see how many wishes we can grant?”
I wanted to do this extra thing. For Ruffian, for Lucas and people like him.
“Okay, but what about the actual Me Party day? You got someone for that?” Taylor flipped on the phone’s camera and used it to reapply her mauve lipstick.
“Yeah, I was looking at a little girl with alopecia. It’s not deadly, but the wigs she wants are expensive and I think what we do for our day would really give her a boost.”
Taylor fixed her eye makeup with her fingertip. “Is that when someone doesn’t have hair?”
“I have to do more research, but that was my take on it. Instead of a car wash, maybe we can get her some spa treatments?” I took out my phone as well and started banging out some notes. This would be a productive afternoon, despite not being Ruffian’s first choice for a ride today.
Taylor knew the drill and started calling the spas in the area to inquire about donations. I stepped out so I could give the good news to the little girl. Her name was Ashley, and from her exuberance, I knew this would be a great Me Party.
Now that I had a project to work on, no more thinking about Ruffian and his floppy hair and wicked smile. Dammit, I was doing it again. Letting my head get all dreamy and foggy with the thought of him. I’d never felt this way about any of the guys I’d dated before. This need to feel what having my lips on his felt like. It was imperative.
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