Breaking and entering? Was that allowed? I had to humor him now, because he didn’t know I didn’t have a future. I would do a job in jail if I was lucky.
“I don’t know if I can pick yet. I wanna find out what I’m interested in.” That seemed safe.
“Very good.”
Then there was a prolonged silence.
“Is that it? I mean, are you and Austin going to take me out back and defend Teddi’s honor or something?”
“No. Teddi can take care of herself. She and I had a big conversation prior to this phone call, and she seems good.” He picked up a can of ginger ale and took a sip.
“Okay. When are you going to come back next?” This was the conversation brothers were supposed to have, I think.
“I wanna come back next weekend if Pixie and I can get the time. So you and I can get to know each other a bit more.”
I tried to read between the lines. Was he coming to assess how I was behaving myself with Teddi? Or was he genuinely trying to make a connection?
“Sure, man. Let me know and I’ll try to be around. Thanks for checking in.” I hit the disconnect button and gave the black screen the finger.
I didn’t think having my brother around was going to do good things for my stealth operation. I’d have to put away all my notes and plans that I had jotted down on the back side of advertisements in a better spot. My gut told me Gaze would be hard to fool. I had to make sure I didn’t make any mistakes.
_______________
WHEN I GOT back to the Burathons’ house, they were in the living room watching TV. I waved to them and went looking for Teddi. She’d had a conversation with Gaze and again blamed herself for our kiss. I needed to make sure she was telling the truth. I wouldn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable even though I had grand plans. I rapped my fingers on her door, startling her. She looked up from the telephone screen with a jump.
“Sorry. Not trying to scare the shit out of you. Can I get a word?” I stepped into her doorway but waited for her permission.
“Yeah.” She set her phone down and uncrossed her legs. I tried and failed to not get distracted by the miles of them that she unfurled and then hung over the side of the bed. She was a vision, as usual.
“You spoke to Gaze?” I stepped in another pace.
“Yes. And Pixie and Milt and Austin.” She looked annoyed.
“All about me?” I felt like a crapbag knowing she was busy lying to all of her people for me.
“Not all about you. Some of it was about the Me Party.” She dragged her hands through her hair and made a ponytail that she tied in a knot.
“You got one coming up?” Seemed like a polite thing to ask.
She sized me up then, like she was seeing me for the first time. “We could use you. The football team is helping with yard work and house repairs, so that would be a great crew for you to start with.”
I didn’t like the thought of working with the football players, but if it made Teddi smile like a damn saint, I could try it.
“Feel free to bring Meg. I’ll put her to work, too.” She picked up her phone as it buzzed.
I felt like I could see the fate I was ignoring like a mist in the room. It felt wrong. Pretending to date Meg instead of being here with Teddi was grating.
I was being dismissed, and I got that. I exhaled and looked at my feet. I’d have to do something else. Distract myself until two a.m. I would try the kitchen again even if I had to sit in the dark by myself.
Chapter 32
TEDDI
I FELT WHEN Ruffian was gone before I saw the empty doorway. I had to focus on the event. In order for it to go smoothly, I had to make sure I had jobs listed for everyone and a detailed schedule of what happened and when.
The event was only as good as its volunteers. I put my pencil to my lips and watched as the Google doc on my phone became a blur.
Getting Ruffian out of my mind was taking a huge amount of effort. I needed sleep. I also needed to craft the Remind app text messages so I could be sure little Larissa would have everything she could dream of.
After I got that done, I put my phone on the charger and slid under the covers. I wanted to sleep all night. Instead, I opened my eyes at exactly one fifty-five. Kissing time. Ice cream time.
I could have sworn I heard the stairs creak. Which could mean a litany of things. Tiger liked to poke around the house at night. Sometimes Rocket made my dad walk her, too.
Lots of reasons.
Plenty of reasons.
I was out of bed and even had the audacity to check my hair in the mirror on my dresser before heading downstairs. It was my house. My ritual.
I walked into the kitchen without turning on the light. But Ruffian’s hulking form was not silhouetted by the light coming in from the moon. I slumped my shoulders. Why was I hoping in the first place? I wasn’t that hard up for a kiss. I walked over to the counter and put my hand on it where Ruffian had lifted me last night.
The light switch came on and I turned slowly. Ruffian was sitting at the kitchen table and my stupid ass smiled at him. I had to force it off my face.
He stood up and came closer to me. My heart was pounding in my throat and my fingertips. Promise. That’s what was going on here.
When he was close, but not touching, he whispered to me, “You’re not supposed to be here.”
I needed to tell him to go to hell. To walk away and flip my hair and ignore this man, get my ice cream, and eat it in my room.
“I wanted to see if you would be here.” I pulled my shoulders back.
“I’m here.” He opened his arms and held his hands palms up.
“What are you here for?” I folded my arms across my chest. I was betting he would tell me he was getting a glass of water or an ice cream. There was no way he would be here for me after all that happened yesterday.
“Teddi, I don’t know. I just had to be here in case you were expecting me.” He took a step closer, hands still open.
“Why?” I didn’t want to fall into his trap again. Where my feelings were right there and he was happy to kick them when my guard was down.
“Because kissing you is all I can see in my head. Over and over.” He reached one hand up, close to my mouth, but halted just before he touched me.
It was a risk and it felt like crossing a busy highway blindfolded, but I told him, “Same for me.”
His eyes got soft, and then his hand dropped. “I was wrong. I should’ve stayed downstairs.”
I felt the bruise in my center immediately.
“No.” I grabbed his forearm before he could turn away. He stopped like I was a lot stronger than I knew I was. “Explain why it feels so intense. Why you can’t stay here with me?”
He looked at my hand on his forearm and I felt it again.
Zap.
From his touch. He covered my hand with his, then ran it up my arm to my shoulder.
“Because it’d be so much easier to do it. To be here with you. Even if it ruined everything.”
“Dating Meg? Is this important to you?” I wasn’t sure what I was fighting against, but it felt like more than just Meg.
He pressed his lips together. I smelled a bit of the soap the guys used in the shower.
“Nothing’s more important than you.” He touched his lips with his fingertips and then touched mine.
“What the hell is this?” I talked around his fingers. He dropped his hand.
He looked at my hand, still clamped on him, and I let go. “Goodnight, Teddi.”
And then he walked out of the kitchen and down the stairs. Confused and angry again, I grabbed my ice cream and marched back up the stairs to my room. Before I could shut my door, I heard my parents’ door open. I waited until my mom came to my room.
“Everything okay?” Her hair was pointing straight in the air. She had to take a shower every morning to beat her hair into submission no matter what conditioner she used.
I gave my mom a hug and tried to smooth her hair. It po
pped right back up and she and I both started laughing. Eventually, we wound down.
“I’m good. It’s okay.” She felt my forehead to see if I had a fever, a leftover reflex from when I was a kid.
“I love you, Theodosia.” I knew she knew I had more going on, but she let me say goodnight.
I anger-ate my Fudgsicle and messaged Taylor and Peaches. This boy will be the death of me.
I filled them in on the no kiss situation. They were both suitably annoyed for me. Taylor promised to drive me to school for the rest of the week. I accepted.
When I finally had simmered down enough, I went to bed, dreaming of kissing him.
_______________
THE REST OF the week was a battle between acting normal and feeling out of sorts. Ignoring as many Meg references as possible, which was surprisingly tough considering she went to an entirely different school. Ruffian ate lunch with the junior girls and the two guys that liked to burn things.
Luckily, I was too busy getting ready for Saturday’s Me Party for Larissa. We had a princess themed photoshoot and a Build-A-Bear shopping spree, culminating in a wig fitting. Her parents were going out to dinner. None of the teams had an evening game, which was why we picked this week in the first place.
But I still let my mind drift to Ruffian when I lost focus. I heard the stairs squeak every night around one fifty-five, but I stayed in my room. I wasn’t interested in making out with Meg’s boyfriend in the kitchen every night while he acted like he was the one that’s suffering.
The morning of the Me Party, I was in the living room with my whole battle plan laid out when Austin strolled through the front door. I dropped what I was doing and took a running jump at him as he was halfway up the stairs of our split ranch. He caught me with one arm and steadied us using the handrail.
“Teddi Bear. Sweet Jesus. We could do this when you were eight. Now you’re liable to push us both through the door.” He hugged me despite his chastising words.
“Thank you for coming.” He put me on my feet and I backed up so he could come all the way up the stairs.
“Of course. You know I’m always down for this kind of shit.” He pushed his sunglasses into his hair. Today he was wearing destroyed jeans and a sweater with an asymmetrical hem. He had on a touch of eyeliner and rings on almost every finger.
“Pixie and Gaze are coming, too. And so is Milt.” I led Austin to the dining room table.
He picked up Larissa’s picture. “Oh, she’s a heart melter. Today will be awesome.”
“I know, right? Wait until you meet her. She’s literally the cutest.”
Mom came from her room, hair still poking up.
“Mother. Fetching as usual before your coffee.” He wrapped an arm around Mom’s neck.
Mom patted his stomach. “My firstborn. Nothing but compliments, I see.”
I turned back to my war room (as my dad always dubbed it) to look at my lists one last time. It would be an early rollout. My girls would be here in a few, so I started to pack up. Dad came in from the outside.
“Hey, Bear, I got up that PVC tower you had me build. Did you want to do that flower wall now or later?” He stood on the top step and hugged Austin.
After the hug, Austin turned to me. “I got this. You guys need it done by when?”
I was super thankful that my dad had donated his time and bought the materials for the DIY PVC pipe backdrop, but I was thrilled Austin would be here to help get the smooth ombre rainbow of flowers I had planned to set up.
I heard honking and I knew my time was up. Taylor, Peaches, and Selena were in the driveway.
It was barely seven-fifteen in the morning.
I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I didn’t have to look to know it was them giving me the business for being late.
I gathered up the file folders and the stickers. We were going over to Larissa’s house to help her get ready for the day. She wanted to do the photoshoot before her wig, and we were cool with that. Her mother had been very attentive and constantly reminded Larissa that her hair loss was a badge of honor for her bravery. It was okay to want a wig, but her baldness was beautiful.
The front door was flung open and music rattled through the foyer. Peaches got to the top first and started dancing in my direction. Dad and Austin stepped to the side to allow them to pass. These three girls in particular were like having a crowd of twenty. They were always loud.
I hefted the bags I had with beauty products and tools—all donated from the local beauty supply store into Selena’s waiting arms.
Taylor scooped up the three princess dresses from their special rack I had set up and Peaches grabbed the shoeboxes. It took us two trips to get everything we needed.
Austin whistled at Taylor on her way down the stairs and she gave him a little wave. When we were packing everything in her trunk, we hit a snag. With everything we were trying to put in there, the trunk wouldn’t close.
I eyed the truck that seemed like it would be the perfect fix for our problem. Ruffian walked over to me; his hair caught in a scrunchie to keep it out of his eyes.
“You need a lift? I can take the truck.”
He was asking me, but Peaches and Selena didn’t respond. They just started hauling things over to the truck and filling the bed.
Taylor got in the driver’s seat and rolled down the window. “How do you want to work this? You coming with me and Ruffian can follow?”
I appreciated her thinking of a way that I wouldn’t have to be in Ruffian’s company, but I shook my head.
“If we get separated, Ruffian would never find the place, remember? The GPS was all screwed up in that development.” I peeked at Ruffian and he seemed ready to help.
“I can follow. Whatever’s most comfortable for you ladies.” He kicked a small rock in the driveway.
“I’ll go with him. We have to hustle so we can be there when she wakes up. We’ve only got, like, fifteen minutes.” I pulled out my phone and saw three more texts that I needed to handle.
Taylor pouted at me and mouthed, “You sure?”
I nodded once and returned to my phone.
When their car pulled away, Ruffian excused himself to get his wallet.
Austin came over to me from where he and Dad were working on the flower wall. “So let me get this right. You guys are going to dress her up, take photographs, and then you’re off to a fancy dinner?”
I rolled my eyes. “I sent you four texts and four thousand messages. Please tell me you’ve read them and you know what’s going on?”
I closed my phone. The teams had the times that they needed to come to the event.
“I totally saw everything you put in the subject line.” He squinted one eye at me.
“Seriously, Austin?” I growled at him.
“Easy, Bear. It’ll work out. And I’ll read the messages and stuff while Dad gets the ladder and netting set up.” He clicked his tongue at me and backed away.
Ruffian had a brown army jacket on and boots. “I’m ready. You ready?”
After we secured the goods with a tarp and bungee cord from Dad, we were ready to go. Ruffian was there to open my door. I knew Austin would be teasing me the next time we were alone. I was a little concerned about the flower wall now that it was set up. Threading the flowers in it would take hours. And after looking up at the trees, I had a sinking feeling about the rustling leaves.
I worried out loud once Ruffian was in the cab of the truck. “I hope there isn’t any rain. That would suck major donkey nuts.”
He shook his head and leaned forward so he could see the sky, too. “Nah. No rain. The wind might pick up. You might need to make sure that wall is really staked down hard.”
“How do you know it won’t rain?” As far as I knew, he had just woken up when he was in the driveway to help.
“The way the leaves move tells me. Plus, the sky.” He pointed up at it like I would need help finding it.
“Thanks.”
Me Party days had
an event air about them, like a wedding or Christmas or a school play. Except I was the bride who was also Santa and running the backstage crew.
My phone was blowing up. The silence I was dreading on the ride with Ruffian was a non-issue. I had too much to handle. I put my phone calls on speaker so I could still answer emails and messages. We had last-minute interest from a local news program and I was able to get in touch with Larissa’s parents and check with them. When they approved, I was on the phone with the news producer. It was apparently a slow news day after all. I worked the producer into publishing a link for viewers to donate to future Me Parties and for the station iself to give a donation.
When I got out of the truck, I contacted the newspaper one last time to tell them that the local news would be running with the story. I helped Ruffian unload as much as I could with one hand. After I got the editor on the phone, I pointed out that Larissa’s big day wasn’t something they should miss out on. When I heard him hedging, I covered the phone and looked around. All the people volunteering to help around Larissa’s house were grouped together and my mom was delivering breakfast for everyone.
I waved Larissa’s mom over and gave her the rundown. “Was she okay with a newspaper article?” After she agreed, the editor came back on the line. “Well, we’ll need a photoshoot and an in-depth article with the family.”
I stood by Ruffian. He was clearly waiting for more direction, so I held up my finger. “Listen, I have a media packet I’ll forward to you myself and I’ll get you some of the pictures from the event we have going on. But this family has enough on their plate without scheduling more stuff. That’s my final offer.”
I waited for his decision as I pointed out the park across the street that was holding parked cars for us to Ruffian. He waited still while I finished up my call.
“How is it you came to me asking for a favor, and now I feel like I’m lucky to get your blessing?”
I smiled at Ruffian when he lifted his eyebrows.
“Her name is Larissa, and I’ll do anything I can to help her. That’s how. Thank you so much for your time. I’ll be in touch.” I hit end and pulled up my to-do list on my phone, adding contacting Poughkeepsie News for tomorrow. I finally looked up at Ruffian.
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