He was slowly shaking his head. “You’re a fucking powerhouse.”
I felt the instant reaction in my cheeks. “No. Everyone here’s in on this. I’m just connecting people.” I patted the side of the truck. “I have to go talk to Larissa with Taylor and Peaches. Can you go over to Anders and see if he needs any help?”
I turned to go inside the house. The princess awaits.
RUFFIAN
LARISSA’S HOUSE LOOKED like a party and a renovation on crack. The amount of actual stuff happening was tremendous. Teddi stopped on the way, pausing to talk to a few people before rushing into the house.
She was stunning. Seeing the focus in her eyes reminded me of the feeling I got when I gave to other people. It was an addiction I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to top. But seeing Teddi do this was touching something I thought had died months ago.
I parked the car where she told me and I got it. How she was able to rally so many people to do her bidding. I just wanted to be part of anything she was excited about.
Meg texted me.
How’s it going? Sorry, I had a hair appointment today. But I’ll be ready for when you come over tonight. ;)
I sent her a smile as I walked over to Anders and the other football guys. They weren’t my crowd, I knew that. But there was something in the atmosphere here today. Brutus waved me over to one of the three pressure washers. He didn’t make small talk, just told me what to do and how the machine worked. And a warning not to water laser my balls off.
I had backyard duty and was surprised that I wasn’t alone. A whole crew was out back. They were mixing cement and building what looked like a covered playground. I started pressure washing the deck. Years of dirt buildup came off slowly in satisfying stripes. I was lost in the task for a while. The deck and some of the railings were shiny as if brand new by the time I was done. I took a small break and grabbed a water bottle. We had a mild day, which was good.
I leaned toward the closest woman to the water cooler. “When will they be done with this?”
I couldn’t imagine anything as massive as they were creating back there being completed in anything under a month.
“Oh yeah, dollface. This’ll be done before Larissa is tucked into bed tonight.” She pointed to the taller parts of the build. “Larissa needs to be protected from the sun to be able to play outside, so they’ll have a shelter built that fits in with the HOA rules.”
I nodded as I finished the bottle and tossed it in the recycling bin. I went to work on the cement path that had overgrowth and needed more pressure washing. It was crazy to see people crawling all over the house and the property. It felt like a miracle as things that were worn or broken became usable.
When I had done all I could, I dragged the machine back to the front. Brutus nodded at me as he took the machine. “She’s about to be seen off. You part of the paparazzi?”
“I’m sorry?” I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Just come on and pull out your phone.” He waved me to the front sidewalk. It was roped off like a movie theatre premier. I stood behind the red velvet barrier, copying the movements of those around me.
When Larissa came out of the house, she was in a princess dress with Teddi and her friends surrounding her. She was just a little thing with a bow on her head. Pausing for pictures, she went down the red carpet that was covering the front walk. I got a good idea and looked around. There was paper with jobs on the back and a pen near the picture area on a folding table.
I held it out when Larissa got to me. “Can I get an autograph?”
Larissa’s eyes grew wide and she started to giggle. Teddi took the paper out of my hands. “Turn around and bend over.”
The guys around me snickered, but I got what Teddi was asking for. I felt the paper get placed on my back and I glanced to see Larissa writing with her lips pouted in concentration.
When she was done, I turned and took the autograph and pretended to swoon on my knees. Larissa started giggling again, and soon enough everyone hanging around wanted her autograph.
I met Teddi’s eyes as a football player repeated my actions for Larissa. She mouthed, “Thank you.”
She was happy with me.
Zing.
That feeling that was hardwired to the center of my chest pinged.
I looked at her and then scanned the front yard. Her parents and friends were scattered around doing stuff. She was spectacular. And I had a thundering guilt about what I was going to do to their whole family with the crime I planned on committing.
Chapter 33
TEDDI
PACKING IN THE day was twice as exhausting as actually doing it. The adrenaline certainly helped things move along. But now, after the day was over and I was typing notes and tweaks to the process for next time, I had no adrenaline left.
I showered and thanked my parents for helping as usual. Seeing my day with Larissa was adorable and reminded me of when I was young. Larissa’s house looked like someone had cracked a magic wand over the top of it.
Larissa had a playground she could use no matter what the weather was like. She had picked out three beautiful wigs and a mess of hats and bows. Her parents enjoyed their special dinner. After all was done and hugs were distributed, my crew and I went to the diner. I was hoping to see Ruffian there, but he didn’t make it. I checked Meg’s Insta and there were three pictures of her with him.
I was home now. My phone was still getting pictures delivered from people. Tomorrow would be thank you notes and compiling the pictures and video clips into a special gift for the family.
As I sat there, fluff drying my hair, I heard Ruffian pull into the driveway. He must have met Gaze at the door. I heard their deep voices but couldn’t make out what they were saying.
Taylor popped into my FaceTime. “Hey, St. Teddi!”
“Oh, screw off.” I laughed at her opening greeting.
“That was a great one. Larissa is so freaking cute. I’m updating the donation forms and we got a delivery of camping equipment. It’s real high-quality stuff, according to my dad.”
I thought about Ruffian’s crowd of people. The people who didn’t have a Seasons residency.
“I’ll swing by tomorrow and grab them. I have an idea what we could do with them.” I got a hit of adrenaline again. The thought of giving those things to Ruffian made me happy despite his annoying pictures with Meg.
RUFFIAN
GAZE AND PIXIE were in the living room playing a video game when I arrived. Gaze welcomed me like he didn’t want to bash my face in, which made me leery. I knew we would have to figure out what the consequences of kissing Teddi would be.
Honestly, if it was just me kissing a girl, we could all move past it quickly. The fact that the kiss changed where heaven was actually located was the problem. I was going to have a lot of trouble not kissing her again. If I was Gaze, I’d be slapping the piss out of myself.
“How was the Me Party for you?” Pixie paused the game to give me a hug.
“It was cool. Tiring and cool.” I sat on the couch while they shared the recliner. “How was it for you?”
Pixie looked in Gaze’s face and smiled. “Very cool. It was great to be a part of that again. I’d be a sack of boneless noodles tonight if I was Teddi. She has a lot of freaking energy.”
It was worse now, having seen Teddi like that. Boss mode. At freaking seventeen, she was more driven than most adults I’d met. Except my mom. I clenched my fist when I realized that was the same energy Teddi put out. The helping energy. It was kind of mind-blowing.
“So, you were allowed to help out? That’s a good sign, right?” Pixie gave me a hopeful nod.
Gaze stretched his arms above his head and Pixie gently patted his chest. “I wouldn’t go that far. I know Teddi works with Meg’s mom and she and Meg don’t get along.”
Ah. Meg getting dropped into the conversation. Of course.
Gaze continued, “She’ll sweet talk the Devil into working for her on these kinds
of days.”
I felt the passive-aggressive attack in my spine.
“Hey, that’s my cue to go into my room.” I gave a wave to Pixie.
Gaze stood up and helped Pixie to her feet. “Wait, that came out wrong. I’m sorry.”
Pixie gave Gaze a kiss on the cheek and touched my arm. “I’m going to leave you two to it.”
She went upstairs and I could have sworn she gave Gaze a threatening look.
He stared after her for a beat before returning his attention to mine. “Listen, I’m not here to bust your balls or anything. Can it be possible for you to not hurt Teddi? The girl is all heart. She really thinks about other people so damn much.”
I felt chastised but also knew he was right. She was just a good freaking person. And the last thing I wanted to do was break her. I wish I could promise myself I would keep a cool head and my distance. But the pull to her was like a natural disaster. Inevitable when the right conditions existed.
I didn’t get a chance to answer him because Pixie and Teddi were on their way down the stairs. Teddi walked right up to me.
“So we got some donations for the raffle and the thing is it’s camping equipment. Like really nice, warm equipment. Do you know of anyone who can use it?” She didn’t have malice when she looked at me, but weariness. Like I’d fucked with her feelings too much.
It took me a second to get around the lump she caused in my throat because she was so close to me. “Yeah. For sure. In Midiville. Depending on what it is?”
She stepped even closer to me and pulled out her phone. Her hair was still damp from the shower. She smelled like coconuts and lime. The screen came alive with a slide show of very nice equipment. Sleeping mats, lanterns with solar charging, fire starters, and tents that could sleep quite a few.
I nodded. “This would be amazing.”
She put her phone into her pocket. “I know I’ll be busted tomorrow, so I won’t get up before eight, but maybe we could all go down in the truck and get this stuff into the hands that need it?”
Pixie answered for her and Gaze, “That sounds great. We better head off to sleep then, if we’re going to be functioning.”
I could tell the way Gaze had his body tilted toward me that he wanted to say a few things. Teddi went back upstairs and Pixie closed the bedroom door. I wasn’t wrong, but I couldn’t have predicted what he would say to me.
“You’re in love with Teddi.”
TEDDI
I FELL ASLEEP like someone had used a tranquilizer dart. When my alarm went off, I felt like all of my muscles were pulled tight. I did a few slow yoga stretches before tossing on jeans, a sweater, and putting my hair into a ponytail. I didn’t have the energy for makeup. By the time I had my messenger bag and phone, it was already eight-fifteen.
I met my parents and Ruffian in the kitchen. Pixie was sitting next to Gaze at the kitchen table. She had her head on his shoulder and her eyes closed.
My mom held out her arms for a hug and I walked into them. “So you’re headed downtown to hand out some donations?”
“Yeah, remember that group of Eagle Scouts? They left a huge donation at Taylor’s house. She and Brutus are going to swing by in a few minutes to help us load Gaze’s truck.” I made my coffee sweet and light before taking the first sip.
My dad added to the conversation, “You’re burning the candle at both ends, huh, Bear?”
I shook my head. “Dad, no one even knows what that means.”
I grabbed one of Mom’s apple cinnamon three-wick candles that came poured in a glass cup.
He rummaged through the junk drawer until he found a scruffy looking birthday candle. He peeled the wax away from the bottom. After he lit one side and then the other, he held the experiment out to me. “See? Two ends burning and then what happens?”
I watched as the flames got closer and closer to my dad’s fingers. Soon he yipped and dropped the flaming candle into the sink.
“If you burn the candle at both ends, then your father gets his finger burned.” I pointed to the fingertip he was currently running under cold water.
“You’re a funny girl.” My father snarled at me.
I heard honking outside in the driveway as my phone buzzed. “Taylor’s here. Let’s roll out.”
When we got outside, Gaze, Pixie, and Ruffian helped me move the camping gear into the truck. Ruffian was out of his mind happy with everything that was in the back of the truck. He started saying the names of people he thought could use the stuff the most.
Gaze took the keys and Pixie sat in the front with him, which crammed me right next to Ruffian in the tight backseat.
The place where our legs touched was instantly cozier. I thought about how quickly Meg would snap a picture in this exact situation. I waved goodbye to Taylor and my parents as they returned the wave from the porch.
Ruffian wondered out loud, “I guess I should call Lucas and get a lead on where everyone is staying.”
The ride down broke into two conversations. Pixie and Gaze’s and Ruffian and mine. I stuck to details because that’s where I excelled. I found the number for Seasons for Ruffian, but he already had it in his phone because he checked up on Lucas and Grandma/Mom.
After some chatting, he got Lucas on the phone. I could hear his exuberance over the speaker. There was a lot of yes and no answers before Ruffian ended his call.
“They’re back at the camp where my mom died.” The whole truck went quiet. Ruffian looked out the window.
“If it’s too hard, we can do it for you. Just point us in the right direction.” Watching Ruffian process his feelings internally was hard. Sure, I was pissed about Meg, but the pain on his face was hard to ignore.
He took a deep breath. “They won’t trust you guys without me. But thanks. I’ll be okay.”
The quiet in the car lasted until we got downtown and Ruffian gave Gaze directions to the park.
“This is as close as we can get in the truck. Legally anyway. How about you guys stay here and I’ll have people come back and get their stuff?” He pulled his hair into a ponytail before letting it drop.
Gaze and Pixie leaned against the car.
“I’ll come with you, if that’s okay?” I asked.
I waited to see what he would do. The haunted look when he mentioned his mom made a huge part of me not want to make him face it alone.
He nodded and held out his hand. I took it. We headed through a hole in the chain-link fence, with Ruffian holding it out of my way. The path through the cluttered woods and bramble was dry and dusty. It was traveled often.
I kept holding tightly to Ruffian’s hand as he started talking. “So many times I’ve shown up with stuff. And it never gets old. Just getting stuff to the people who expect it the least? That’s the feeling I chase.” He held a branch out of my way as we ducked off to a smaller path. “And that’s what she stood for, you know? Just trying to get stuff for people.”
“This is hard for you.” I looked at his face while he squinted his eyes.
“Yeah. I mean, it’s one thing if you have a bad relationship with your parents, but her and me? We were buddies. She was just the friendliest lady. And so sure of herself.” He opened another hole in a chain-link fence and I ducked through.
I started to hear talking echoing through the trees. When we got to the clearing, I could see the back of some buildings and dumpsters. But just in front of that was a tiny tent city filled with people milling around. How many times had I passed an encampment like this and just let my eyes freeze over, not taking in the suffering? The lack of a home. The food insecurity. The look behind the eyes of the people who had to live this way. I felt tears welling in my eyes. I came to help Ruffian be strong, but instead, I was the one breaking down.
He leaned closer. “Hey, cheer up. They’ll be happy in just a few.”
I closed my eyes and concentrated. It was something I could do when I had a hard case. Seal off my emotions so that I didn’t make anyone upset. They’d had enough tears
to have to worry about mine.
“Rufus!” Ruffian let go of my hand to grasp a guy’s hand. “Jen!” More hugging and hand shaking. Ruffian went all around the camp, introducing me as a friend and telling me everyone’s names. He had a question for everyone, personal to find out how they were doing. Every single person mentioned his mother by name. I watched his jaw tense every time he heard it, but he would roll right into finding out how injuries were, how some kids were. Making sure no one was visiting a nearby street that seemed like a problem. Finally, he stood on a tree stump and clapped his hands.
“Hey, guys! I have a delivery for you, so if you’re able come follow me, we’ll get you set up.”
Ruffian grabbed my hand and led me back the way we came. He was a leader now, and the people who surrounded him loved him. Were loyal to him. I didn’t tell him, but I would guarantee his mother would be proud of him.
There wasn’t any other choice, really. When we got back to the truck, Gaze hopped inside to heft out the camping equipment. Ruffian straddled the wheelwell to pass it out. I stood next to Pixie.
Ruffian seemed to have products in mind for each person. They all had a back slap and a thank you as they rubbed their hands lovingly on the new products. I felt my eyes going for tears again.
Their need was so great, and yet they were grateful for what they were getting. When the last items were handed out, Rufus and Jen lingered.
Ruffian joined them in a huddle, and before long, they were saying their goodbyes. Rufus and Jen’s body language of slumped shoulders and downturned lips made me believe they didn’t like the outcome of the conversation. Ruffian ran his hands through his hair like he was frustrated before turning toward us and forming a smile.
“That was so great. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Ruffian put his hands crisscross over his chest.
Gaze coughed and then added, “Proud of you, little bro.”
Turning toward Ruffian, I watched as he received those words from his older brother. He nodded but didn’t respond. I could tell he was affected because he kept looking down at his hands and then scanned the area.
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