Going Back Cold

by Kelley Rose Waller

  “Trust me.”

  “I do, Lu.”

  “No, I mean, that’s what He would say.”

  Jane sighed. “Ok, I know,” she mumbled. “And I do, I just feel like these anniversaries are going to haunt me forever. They bring back up the confusion. The emptiness. They put me back in that doctor’s office.” Her voice broke and a few tears started to form right as a few team members entered, deep in conversation.

  “Great,” Jane mumbled. “Now the new people will know for sure I’m crazy.”

  “I like your crazy, Jane. I had to take a few minutes this morning, too,” Lucas said, wrapping his arm around her waist. “I hope it stays fresh like this in some ways. Today’s the celebration of the start of seven great months, right?”

  “They really were….” Jane said, wiping under her eyes with the back of her hand.

  “That’s what we can hold on to and remember,” Lucas said. “Seven great months, and I’m glad we had them. I would’ve had more if it was God’s will, but it wasn’t. His call, not mine. Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed.”

  Jane tried to smile and finished the verse: “His compassions never fail; they are new every morning.”

  “Great is your faithfulness,” Lucas whispered as a prayer, his face pressed close to hers.

  They sat for a moment in silence before MILO announced to the room that the chopper bearing their VIP guests had departed from McMurdo.

  “I need to get cleaned up,” Jane said, squeezing his shoulder. “See you in a few minutes.”

  MILO beeped at her as Jane walked into her room. “Yes, MILO?”

  “You have a new email,” the console replied.

  “Go ahead.”

  “From Candace Hartwell. Message: My dates are June 14 and 29. Thank for you asking. I would like to have someone else remember, too.”

  Jane stared for a long time at the console, her heart feeling hot.

  “MILO,” she finally said, clearing her throat. “Please send a reminder to me on those two dates.”

  “Confirmed. What would you like the reminder to be?”

  Jane paused.

  “Remind me to… remember life with Candace.”

  The console’s conformation chirp did not interrupt Jane’s weeping as she stepped into the shower. She raised her hands, open palm, before her, watching the drops mix. Gradually, the water filled where the tears had been, and she stood in silence.

  Chapter 54

  Jane had just zipped up her pants after her shower and was still putting her damp hair into a ponytail when an alarm started screaming, sending a chill down her spine.

  “MILO!” she yelled. “What is that?”

  “Fire alarm in the metallurgy lab.” Jane immediately burst out of her room and took off running, yelling at the wall panels as she ran.

  “MILO, who’s in there? Is it Riddhi? Is she ok? What’s happening? Where are the kids?”

  Jane almost slammed into Peter, Hal, and two men she mildly recognized as they turned the corner in front of her. Everyone started barking questions at once, but no one broke pace as they flew toward the lab at the end of the hallway.

  Jane instinctively reached for the door. “Fire gear! Fire gear!” Hal shouted. “Leave the lab sealed until we’re dressed!” He tore open the nearby emergency locker and started throwing out equipment.

  “Seal the hallway,” Peter barked at the two young men, who ran to points on either side of the door, dropping bulkheads for fire protection. Without fire safety gear themselves, they followed protocol and stepped outside before closing the second one.

  “Go find the children,” she pointedly said to one, and he immediately ran off.

  All the labs are fire safe, the labs are fire safe, Jane repeated to herself as she suited up. Her fingers fumbled, but she was determined to keep pace with Peter and Hal.

  Cheyenne’s voice rang out through one of the wall panels.

  “Who dropped the bulkheads? Where’s Riddhi? Is anyone in there? The feed’s down in the room. Who’s suiting up?”

  As he dressed, Peter explained that he, Hal, and Jane were the first to respond.

  “MILO, give me stats, tell me something! What’s going on?” Cheyenne yelled.

  “The lab temperature peaked momentarily at an extremely dangerous level but has decreased. There has been an explosion. One person was present, Dr. Riddhi Bidell.” His everyday voice irritated Jane in her frightened state.

  The suits were in place, and Peter handed them each a helmet and mask. Jane nodded at Hal.

  “Safety level? Chem leaks? Active burning?” Cheyenne continued barking to MILO in Jane's headset. “What are we looking at? I’ve got three crew members walking in here.”

  Facing each other, the group of three ran through a series of cues on a poster in the locker to double check that each other's gear was all in place.

  MILO rattled off details on the room's conditions that Jane tried to focus on as Hal reached for the door handle. He nodded first at Peter, then at her, then yanked open the door.

  They ducked to the side in case they was a pressure differential, but Jane didn’t hear or feel anything. When she opened her eyes, white smoke was wisping out of the room into the hallway.

  “MILO!” Hal hollered into his radio. “What’s been activated in here? Is there still something smoking?”

  “Sensors are coming back on line.”

  “Let’s go,” Peter said.

  Hal nodded and ducked in first. Jane followed, keeping low to the ground as she’d been taught. She couldn’t tell much in the suit, but it didn’t feel hot. Tables were overturned, and the room was hazy.

  “Riddhi!” she yelled, using the helmet’s intercom. “Riddhi, talk to me!”

  “Here!” Peter hollered.

  “Cheyenne, can you open the bulkheads?” Jane said as she scooted towards Peter’s call. “We need medical now! Where’s Candace? Did someone call for a doctor?”

  “I’m coming!” Candace’s voice said on the radio. “As soon as MILO opens the doors, I’m ready. Lucas is getting the kids.”

  “I radioed MacTown for Ian. How bad is it?” Cheyenne’s voice asked.

  “Oh, Riddhi, no,” Jane's voice said, heartbroken as she looked at her battered friend.

  “Video feed is active,” MILO said in the chaos.

  Jane felt herself crying. I am not a first responder, she thought as she momentarily regretted being closest to the incident. Lord Jesus, what can I do? Please, Jesus, my friend. Oh, Lord…

  Riddhi may have been bald by choice their first year, but this season, her hair had been chin-length. Now, most of it was smoking or gone, and her ears were bloody and swollen. Her eyes fluttered slightly inside her goggles as Peter checked her vitals.

  Hal grabbed the room’s med-pac and tossed it to Jane to begin administering first aid.

  “Something's still smoking over here!” he called. “MILO, what’s this in the corner? What'll put it out? Water? Baking soda? I need instructions!”

  Jane prayed and held her friend’s gloved hand as she unzipped the blue case.

  “Candace, help me!” Jane yelled. “What do I do first?”

  “Check respiration, is she breathing?”

  Jane leaned over as she pulled on the blue gloves and verified Riddhi’s chest was rising and falling.

  “Yes. Next?”

  “The room has been cleared for entry,” MILO interrupted.

  “Perfusion,” Candace continued. “Check her pulse. Is her—Oh, the doors! I’m coming!”

  “Good job, everyone,” Cheyenne said as she ran into the room, followed by a small crowd. “They’re getting Ian here double quick. Hang on, sweetie,” she said, kneeling on Riddhi’s other side as Candace took over the care.

  “Make space!” Candace called as she knelt down. “Talk to me, Riddhi, honey, talk to me.”

  “What can I do?” Jane asked, yanking the fire mask off her own head.

  “Take her goggles o
ff, really carefully,” Candace said. Looking around, she continued, “Somebody, get her clothes off carefully, so gently, we gotta see what’s burned. Cheyenne, get cool towels for the burned places. Go!”

  “I need scissors!” Jane yelled. The room burst into action as people scrambled for the sink and supply cabinets. Someone gingerly removed her shoes, which revealed her feet were safe. As they cut off the comfortable cotton scrub pants, there was a clear delineation across her thighs at about table height where bubbly red burns disfigured her skin.

  Thank God, she was wearing her leather vest, Jane thought as she saw Riddhi’s torso was bright pink under the destroyed garment, but nowhere near as swollen as her arms and groin were becoming. They followed Candace’s instructions to begin covering the burns with cool, wet towels.

  “Take off her gloves, very carefully,” Candace said as she waved a small flashlight around Riddhi’s face and watched her pupils dilate.

  “Oh,” Riddhi’s voice suddenly whispered with a loud, rasping cough.

  “Riddhi!” Candace replied in a loud, clear voice. “How ya doin’, babe? We’re all here, and we’re gonna take care of you. Tell me what happened.”

  “Oh, oh,” she groaned again.

  “Jane, talk to her,” Cheyenne said, standing up and gingerly passing Riddhi’s hand to Jane. The glove was off, and Jane was relieved to see her fingers and hand looked normal up to the wrist, where things turned alien.

  “Hal, somebody, get me a radio to Ian right now,” Cheyenne said. “We need to get something stronger for pain in her. You,” she said, pointing to a nearby woman, “Get on with MacTown and get the doctor here ten minutes ago. You, you, and you, get the stretcher and the neck brace from the clinic and get it here. You, fresh towels.”

  “MILO, how long has it been since the explosion?” Candace interrupted.

  “Three and a half minutes.”

  “We have at least five more minutes of cooling her skin,” the nurse said to the staff standing around. “Help me out. Cool, not cold, and wet with the towels. Where’s my radio?”

  Jane stammered to keep her friend alert, “Riddhi, what were you making today? Monkey metal? Harold metal? Riddhi? What are you working on?”

  “The magnets,” Riddhi slurred. “They… the magnet metal. Something... combusted.”

  “Yes, oh, it did, honey,” Jane continued talking, stumbling as people pressed in, bringing cool towels for Riddhi’s burns. The metallurgist’s neck and face were blistering badly; the small area around her eyes that had been protected by the goggles was starting to appear like it didn’t belong. Riddhi’s lips were cracked and swollen; Jane was loath to make her speak more.

  Lucas and Ana suddenly ran into the room. Lucas slid in to crouch next to Jane.

  “Hey, Riddhi, hang in there,” he said immediately, his voice helping Jane’s heart rate to slow.

  “Where are the kids?” Jane whispered.

  “With two of the lab techs,” he said. “They’re fine, don’t worry.”

  “Ian’s already off the ground, Candace,” Ana said, touching her friend's back gently. Kneeling at Riddhi’s feet, she said, “You’re in good hands, Riddhi. Hang in there.”

  Ana lowered her head, and Jane knew she was praying. She fought for words in her mind to do the same thing.

  Jesus. Jesus. Please.

  “Check her for jewelry,” Candace interrupted. “Take it off if it isn’t stuck. Carefully.”

  The rings slid off Riddhi’s fingers with relative ease thanks to the safety gloves, but the earrings were almost buried in the blisters on her ears. Jane started to cry as she tried to work the hoop out.

  “Let’s just cut it,” she said in a moment, trying to keep her voice steady. “Someone find me wire snips; we’re in a metallurgy lab.”

  “Dr. McDell’s on the radio, Candace,” someone called.

  “Headset me,” she replied as she continued her work. A nearby lab tech hooked her up and adjusted the mic.

  “Go, Ian?” Candace immediately listed off what had happened, what she saw, and what had been done. Nodding as she prodded Riddhi’s body, she repeated orders when she needed supplies. Jane bit her tongue to hold back tears as she finessed Riddhi’s earring out of the seared, red mass.

  “Someone hit the cafeteria for plastic wrap, a new roll,” she said. Cheyenne pointed firmly, and a woman ran off.

  “Someone with clearance hit up MILO for her medical record to check pre-existing conditions,” Candace continued.

  “That’s me,” Cheyenne said, running to the wall.

  “Oh God, no, I didn’t even think of her head!” Candace said, raising her hands in self-rebuke. “Ugh, looks like she probably fell directly back, and the floor’s like rock. Everybody stop touching her head or neck.”

  The room fell silent. Jane’s hands froze, leaving the second earring cut open but still through Riddhi’s ear.

  “Any blood on the ground near her head?” Candace asked.

  Lucas leaned his cheek down to the floor and shook his head. “I don’t see any blood.”

  “Ok,” Candace said, exhaling. “At least I already checked her eyes. Riddhi, are you hanging in there? We’re getting you help, sweetie.”

  Riddhi replied with a soft hissing sound, moving her inflamed lips ever so slightly.

  Chapter 55

  When Dr. Ian McDell finally arrived with another nurse, Jane and Cheyenne stepped back from the chaos. Ian assessed her, commended everyone for quick action, then loaded her onto the stretcher and took her to the clinic. Ana jogged beside the stretcher, speaking to Riddhi as they disappeared around the corner.

  “Riddhi’s in good hands,” Cheyenne said to Jane. “I gotta go call Edwards and Bonnie to fill 'em in. Sit down, would you, Jane? You look pale.”

  “Shouldn’t they be here by now?” Jane wondered.

  “Maybe, I don’t know.”

  “Maybe their chopper got called back because of the emergency?” Lucas said.

  “That doesn’t make sense. I’ll go find out,” Cheyenne said as she jogged off down the hallway. Two techs appeared with water and gave everyone a drink.

  “Thanks,” Jane said, barely looking up. She sat with Lucas as he prayed for their friend. A few others, including Hal, sat with them, and one other woman prayed after Lucas finished.

  “Let’s clear the room, now, everyone,” Hal said after a few minutes to all the people still mingling helplessly. “The doc will call us if there’s anything more to do.”

  “Want us to start cleaning up in here?” Peter asked.

  “Yes, I guess, but get the metallurgy assistants to help you. I just don’t want to touch whatever, you know, whatever she was doing and have a repeat. Maybe clean up in safety gear?”

  “Sure, good idea,” Peter said. “Who’s familiar with this lab?”

  The two metallurgy assistants stepped forward and went to the locker to get suited up. Jane gathered Riddhi’s discarded clothing and jewelry, putting them in a bag with her shoes. She picked up the gloves and goggles, placing them in a neat stack on Riddhi’s desk.

  The smoke smell was gone from the room thanks to MILO activating the facility’s ventilation, but things were still strewn everywhere. Peter was just starting to lift some of the larger items back into place as Jane walked out the door.

  Lucas followed her out of the lab and into the office across the hallway.

  “MILO,” she said, “Show me the video feed of Riddhi’s lab from thirty seconds before the explosion.”

  They watched in silence as Riddhi’s image appeared. She was obviously melting something, but Jane didn’t recognize any of the materials.

  “What are you looking for?” Lucas asked, leaning in to the screen and watching intently.

  “I don’t know. Just figured we’d better see if we can tell what happened. Maybe ask one of the techs who works in there to—oh!” Jane gasped as the screen flashed white. Riddhi stumbled back, her hair smoking. She slammed into the table behind he
r, which leaned forward, then flipped up against her back as she sank. Her limp body was still sliding down the table when a much larger, second flash cut out the feed entirely.

  MILO chirped, waiting for an additional command.

  “Ok, well, that’s why she didn’t hit her head,” Jane said, wiping away tears. “The table caught her. The second bang must’ve pushed the table away to where it was when we walked in, but at least she was underneath the table for that one.”

  “I’ll go tell Ana and Ian,” Lucas said. “You ok?”

  “Yes, I’m just going to hug Sebbie and then go lie down.”

  Lucas left, and Jane sank into a chair, feeling her hands start to shake. Please God, she begged, let Riddhi be ok. Lord, fill Candace and Ian with wisdom. Oh, God, we’re practically on Mars! Where are you?

  Chapter 56

  MILO Personal Dictation: Ana McDell

  You'd think having an injured crew member would mean seeing more of my husband, but since she's still at McMurdo, he's staying there as much as possible to care for her until they can take her back home.

  Ian and the doctors on the mainland decided that it would be better to ship additional supplies as needed to care for her than subject her to a journey in her state. So she's been sitting in so-called McMurdo General Hospital since the accident. They're finally supposed to send her home tomorrow.

  I visited her yesterday, and she isn't looking forward to leaving. Apparently she's been made aware that PT after a burn isn't so fun.

  Bonnie's still running safety and security procedures into our heads. I guess Edwards’ buzz word now is 'no more accidents,' and she's taking him seriously.

  It’s odd having him on the base.

  Is that what’s up with Jane lately? Having the boss on-site? She’s the nutty Energizer Bunny. Rich even told her to stop interrupting him once. Not that that's out of character for Rich to say, but for Jane to do.

  And in the off-hours, Jane is some kind of zealous playtime machine. Not relaxing and watching Sebbie push cars like normal moms and then reading a book to him, but planning new activities, crafting toys out of supplies, and getting down on the floor for hours making car noises and animal noises and explaining the space catch.