The Energy Crusades

by Valerie Noble

  "Will you come with us Kaia, at least for a little bit?" Tory asked, as the six of us sat again in the bleachers next to the football fields after a run.

  "Maybe," was all I could manage in response.

  "Come on," Balor nudged me. "Don't you want to see me dance?" He stood up and took me by the hands, pulling me to my feet. He put his hands on my waist and placed mine on his shoulders, then stepped side to side a bit and called it dancing, while the others laughed around us.

  "Is this supposed to convince me?" I laughed along with them, but my cheeks were red with embarrassment. I had never danced with anyone before; I had never danced at all. I was uncomfortable in Balor's arms and didn't like the feel of lurching around. When I sat back down next to Ajax, I tried to join in their exuberance, or at least not to ruin it. Ajax was quiet too. He gave me a gentle pat on the back after my little dance with Balor, and he definitely didn't banter with them about whom he might dance with or what he would wear when he didn't have to wear his energy suit.

  I wondered if Ajax would go to the Social, if he would wear regular clothes and if there was a girl he hoped to dance with. I tried not to think about it. It should have been easier for me to talk to him after our time together in the ruined city, but since my meeting with the Commander, I felt more like a freak than ever and kept to myself whenever possible.

  On the night of the Social, I avoided my friends. While we were eating dinner together, I slipped away when Tiergan rang my mailbox, gesturing to them that I would catch up with them later. I went up to my room alone.

  "Hello, little sister," Tiergan greeted me. His face was troubled and I did not have the heart to burden him any further.

  "What is it?" I asked him, and he opened up about what he was going through. The girl, the one called Josiah, had indeed been trying to capture him. She told him things and made him question his alliance to the Reformation.

  "She's beautiful," he admitted. "I don't have the heart to fight her. I'm not sure what will happen if she gets her hands on me."

  "What about Cadmus? Let him fight her," I insisted, urging him to keep a hold on his emotions.

  "I don't know if I can do that," was his dejected reply. He was struggling. Struggling to do what he was meant to do, and struggling to keep away from Josiah.

  "It's what they want!" I reminded him. "They want you to question what you are. They sent the sister after you and the brother after me. But we are Athletes, Tiergan. Surely we won't let a little beauty bring us down?" I tried to smile, to give him encouragement when I felt little myself.

  He shrugged. "I guess. It's not like I haven't been around a pretty girl. She's different, though." He shook his head and changed the subject.

  Before we broke our connection I had one last thing to say. "Stay strong, Tiergan; don't let her get to you. We're stronger than them."

  He nodded his head once, tersely, and signed off. I felt a deep dislike for the girl called Josiah who put the look of worry on my brother's face.

  When I finished my conversation, I let my mailbox slip from my fingers and fall to my bed. I didn't plan on speaking to anyone else, as Atticus hadn't bothered returning any of my calls and I couldn't count on him for companionship while the dreaded Social occurred.

  I left my room and headed for the tennis courts. The sun was just beginning to set as Coach Renier helped me strap into my virtual tennis gear.

  "You should go and have fun, Kaia," his voice seemed to echo in the empty locker room. We were the only two in the Athletics Building. I didn't answer him. It was an old argument and we both knew he was lying. He didn't want me in a casual setting with the Students, where they might feel comfortable asking me questions or commenting on my eye color.

  "What will he do with me?" I asked him for about the dozenth time. He had no answer for me. I left my mind unguarded while he helped me dress and the questions swirled around my head. Was the Commander a good guy? If so, why did my coach, the Commander's own brother, want to hide me from him? Should I trust Professor Baal? Should I trust Coach Renier? Who were the Resistance? All of these questions and more filled the space between us as my worry enveloped me.

  "He believes he is good," Coach Renier answered quietly. I thought about his response. I guess the question of whether someone is good or evil depends on where you are standing. I thought I was standing on the same side as the Commander, so why did I fear him?

  "What do you believe?" I questioned my coach.

  "I believe in you," he answered, but it wasn't an answer at all. Frustrated, I closed my mind, and pulled on my virtual mask. Coach Renier fitted me with an earpiece so I could hear his commands while he monitored my match. I walked to the stadium court where the stands rose up all around me. Thankfully, they were empty and I'd be able to play as long as I wanted without worrying about who might be watching.

  From my side of the tennis court, I signaled when I was ready and my mask came to life. Across the net, I could see my virtual opponent. It served the ball and hit its mark at a dizzying 200 kilometers per hour and then some. I kept the ball in play as the virtual player moved me all around the court with deadly accuracy. It never missed.

  "Close in!" my coach would shout in my ear, prompting me when the ball landed short. Then I would rush to the net and try to turn defense into offense. A few times, I missed my shot, and more than once the ball struck me. The first time it hit me on the side of my calf, hard enough to make me lose my balance and stumble to the ground. Another time, the ball nailed the top part of my arm, finding a spot not covered by armor. The pain took my breath away, just for a moment. Even when the ball hit my armor, I could feel the sting and knew I would have the bruises to show for it. They might fade quickly, but the pain would linger.

  When it was my turn to serve, my coach demanded I stay offensive and serve and volley quickly, rushing to the net before my opponent could, to try to end the point quickly. As fast as I was, my opponent was always faster. I often found myself in fifty ball rallies, where we hit the ball back and forth across the court, waiting for the other to make the mistake. Those were exhausting. Coach Renier had set the game to the most difficult level, and as I played, the game adjusted. The virtual player calculated any weakness, or strength, and changed its game accordingly. There was no tiring it, while my own sweat poured into my eyes and clouded my vision. The longer I played, the heavier my suit became, but I didn't want to stop. My opponent required all of my concentration and my mind didn't wander or dwell on unpleasant thoughts. If I lost my focus, I risked getting hit by the ball, an occurrence I wanted to avoid. I stayed on the court as long as I could, hitting ball after ball, until my grip disintegrated and sweat clouded my vision so badly, I could no longer see. I had to stop.

  Coach Renier ended the game and turned off my headset. Without him in my head, I was alone. I pulled off my mask and sat down right in the middle of the court, putting my head on my knees as I tried to catch my breath, each one a struggle after the grueling match.

  When I lifted my head, my eyes fell upon Ajax, sitting in the stands alone. A wave of emotions crashed through my body upon seeing him there. He was the only one in the world I wanted to see and didn't want to see at the same time. I got up and walked to him, taking a seat on the step below him. I put my head down on his knees and fought off tears, unconcerned about being soaked in sweat.

  "You shouldn't be here," I told him shakily, my cheek on his knee. "You should be having fun with everyone else."

  "Sure I should," he answered, draping his arm across my shoulders. "But I'm here instead. That was the craziest match I ever saw. Why do you do that to yourself?"

  I looked up at him, "You watched that? The whole thing?" He nodded down at me. "Coach Renier let you in?"

  "Obviously," he grinned.

  "It keeps me from thinking about anything else," I admitted. "Did you go?"

  I could feel my heart thud in my chest. Ajax wasn't wearing his energy suit; he was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. He looked
extra handsome, his black hair a sharp contrast against his white shirt. I, on the other hand, was sweaty in my virtual tennis gear. My hair left a wet mark on the knee of his jeans. It seemed perfectly reasonable for him to want to be somewhere else, having fun with someone else, someone who probably looked and smelled a lot better than I did.

  "No," he answered quietly.

  "Are you going to go?"

  "No."

  "What are you going to do?"

  He sighed and touched his hand to his necklace. "I came to see if you wanted to do something together. You know I wouldn't go to the Social, Kaia. I never have before and I wouldn't now."

  "You haven't?" Little butterflies danced in my stomach.

  "No."

  If I were a better person, his admission wouldn't have made me so happy. Ajax should have some fun; he certainly deserved it. I pushed away my gloomy mood and smiled brightly. If he wanted to be with me, the least I could do was not be so glum.

  "Yes, I want to do something with you. Let's go have some fun. Do you mind if I shower first?"

  He stood up and held out his hand to me, helping me to my feet. He grabbed his backpack from the ground next to him, slinging it over his shoulder as we left the court. "No, I don't mind," he answered. He walked with me back into the building and up the stairs to the locker rooms. I hesitated before entering, knowing I needed help undoing my suit, and unsure if I really wanted Ajax to be the one to help me.

  "Will you get Coach Renier for me?" I asked him, my nervousness showing as I tried to wipe my hands on my armor. I didn't think I needed to have Ajax see me pull off my sweaty, smelly suit.

  "I'll help you, Kaia. I don't think we have many secrets left between us do we?"

  We didn't, not really. We slept in the same room every night and knew what the other looked like half-dressed quite well by that time. But tonight, Ajax was wearing regular clothes and looked gorgeous, while I was sweaty and disheveled, and probably didn't smell nearly as sweet as he did. I tried to think of a reason why he couldn't help me — anything to not have him follow me into the locker room — but he looked so calm and cool about it, I couldn't come up with a reasonable excuse. I went in and he followed me closely.

  "I have clothes on under here, don't worry," I told him weakly, trying to be light despite feeling heavy.

  "Of course you do," he answered, putting a hand on my shoulder. I could hear the smile in his voice.

  "Well, what if I didn't?" I teased, "What would you do then?"

  "If you didn't, then you wouldn't be the girl I know, now would you?"

  He had a point. He was always one step ahead of me. I couldn't even tease him properly.

  Ajax guided me back to my locker and opened it. Inside, there was regular clothing hanging up next to my energy suit. A cold rush of emotion washed through me, like a bucket of ice water pouring through my veins.

  "Who put this in here?" I asked, my insides numb. The clothes were mine; I recognized them, but I couldn't understand why they were there.

  "I did," he answered. "I went to your house and got them. If the Students aren't wearing their energy suits, then neither are you."

  I put my head against the locker and closed my eyes, fighting off the angry feelings rising in my throat. I didn't need to give in to anger. I deserved to wear regular clothes, too; Ajax was right. I didn't need to sulk and feel slighted because of the freedoms the Students were given at Universities. If Atticus were here, instead of Ajax, it would have been easier to lose control and lash out, but I cared too much about Ajax to let him see me fall apart. I took several deep breaths and stilled my mind while Ajax remained quiet beside me. Eventually, I felt him start to undo the clasps at the sides of my virtual tennis suit. I stood up straight and let him undo them, then held my arms out in front of me while he pulled the top half of the suit off my body. Next, he extracted the regular clothes from my locker, and placed my used suit inside. While he plugged in my suit, I bent over and undid the armor around my legs and stepped out of it. Once again, I stood in front of Ajax in only my underclothes.

  He picked my arm up by the cuff and let his thumb trail around the leather. For a moment, we leaned toward each other as if to embrace, but I pulled away, too self-conscious about having just finished a long match.

  "Wait for me in the hall, okay?" I asked him, worried he could hear the way my heart beat loudly inside my chest. I wanted nothing more but to lean into him, to feel his arms around me, to feel him kiss me even, but I also felt ugly and unworthy, sure he wouldn't want to do any of those things.

  I left him by my locker and walked toward the showers, unable to control my feelings. Some of them leaked from my skin, but I kept walking away, hoping Ajax wouldn't notice. Before I reached the showers, I felt a bit of his feelings too. They brushed against my skin for just a moment and I stopped in my tracks. Did he have feelings for me too? I couldn't quite get a hold on them; he drew them back too swiftly. I spun around, hoping to meet his eyes. He glanced at me briefly as he made his way toward the door.

  I'm an Unviable, he insisted inside my head.

  Then so am I, I answered, because whatever was different about Ajax was also different about me. I couldn't just turn off my feelings because of it.

  I let all of those thoughts fall away as I stepped into the shower and let the water run hot, just for a few minutes, unconcerned about the luxury of it. I'd earned it, certainly. As I washed my body, I tried to wash away my feelings for Ajax. He was my friend, the best friend I had, and I wanted to respect him. If all I could hope for from him was friendship, then I needed to accept it.

  Once showered, I re-braided my wet (but clean!) hair, and walked back into the locker room to dress. Ajax had brought a short white skirt and tank top from my house. I put the clothes on and they didn't feel much different than my sports bra and compression shorts, but at least I wasn't wearing my energy suit. Alone in the room, I sat on the bench in front of my locker and let my thoughts run free. It felt good to be in regular clothes and I liked the way the white material contrasted against my olive skin. All I ever wore was the color black, and the crisp brightness of the whites brightened my mood and helped quell some of the dreary thoughts.

  I walked to the full length mirrors near the showers and took a good, long look at myself. Having spent the majority of my life covering up, it was nice to actually see my reflection. The white color of my clothing made my eyes stand out in a way I hadn't seen before. Against my black energy suit, they weren't quite as startling, but against the white, the purple color appeared luminescent and my eyes were illuminated in a whole new way.

  I gave in to darker thoughts and wondered if I was an Athlete or a slave for the Reformation, if the Resistance was the enemy or not. I wondered why my eyes were such a strange color, and why it even mattered, and if I had anything to fear from the Commander. What would he do with me if he found out there really was something different about my genes? Who could I trust? Who was Jason Paris?

  I had a lot of questions, but no answers and the girl in the mirror didn't have the answers either. Somebody did, though. Was it my coach? Professor Baal? Again, the girl in the mirror wasn't sure. I turned away from my reflection and headed out of the locker room making sure my feelings were tightly bound. Ajax stood waiting for me, leaning against the wall with his backpack at his feet, watching intently as I came out. My heart caught in my throat and I almost lost control of the already tenuous hold I had on my feelings. His eyes traveled over me with an expression I could not read, and then he reached out a hand to pull my braid loose. He let the hair tie fall to the floor.

  "No braids tonight," he told me, letting none of his emotions show. My hair unraveled around my head.

  "What do you want to do?" I asked him. It felt odd having my hair unbound, but nice too as it fell around my shoulders and spilled down my back. When we were small children, Ajax used to pull my hair free the same way, and then I would chase him and try to tug at his hair. I reached out now to straight
en his necklace but he took me by the wrist again, stopping me before I touched him.

  "Can you guess what I want to do?" he asked, holding onto my cuff.

  "Go see that building?" I answered, knowing it had been on both of our minds. We'd talked about it at night, lying next to each other in the dark. We'd seen the building before; it stirred a vague memory from both of our childhoods. We estimated it to be a few hundred kilometers up the coast, a distance easily traveled on our transporters. I'd been up and down the coast many times as a child and while traveling with the Tennis Academy, and I knew I had seen the building at some time. We'd also seen it on one of Derek's monitors and we wanted to know what it was.

  "Well, that's one of the things I want to do," he answered, but didn't volunteer any other options.

  We headed out together into the night, side by side. Ajax took our transporters from his pack and we flung them open. Before hopping on, we used Ajax's mailbox to record our travel, a necessity since we didn't have our energy suits on. If we were caught riding on transporters without recording the energy use, we would definitely be sentenced to ride in the Energy Fields, something I did not want to do again. Once that bit of business was complete, we flew across the campus in a roundabout way, staying behind the buildings and avoiding transporter lanes or other Students. My skirt was pretty form fitting, but I still had to hold it down with one hand as we flew. It wasn't the best outfit to go transporting in, but it sure did feel luxurious to have the wind whistle all around me.

  We circled around the Weapons Room and stopped at the line of Virtual Guards on the southern end of campus. They gave us no trouble crossing and we flew over the cliffs and down toward the beach as they bowed and bowed and bowed, showing me respect. Ajax hovered for a moment down on the sands below the campus.

  The ocean roared to our left while the cliffs and caves framed us in on the right. It was fully dark and millions of stars twinkled in the skies above us, but it was cold down by the water and I shivered in the little clothing I had on. Ajax pulled a hooded sweatshirt from his pack and held it out to me.