The Works of Robert Louis Stevenson - Swanston Edition, Vol. 19

by Robert Louis Stevenson

  CHAPTER X

  THE OPEN DOOR

  The captain and Herrick meanwhile turned their back upon the lights inAttwater's verandah, and took a direction towards the pier and the beachof the lagoon.

  The isle, at this hour, with its smooth floor of sand, the pillared roofoverhead, and the prevalent illumination of the lamps, wore an air ofunreality, like a deserted theatre or a public garden at midnight. A manlooked about him for the statues and tables. Not the least air of windwas stirring among the palms, and the silence was emphasised by thecontinuous clamour of the surf from the seashore, as it might be oftraffic in the next street.

  Still talking, still soothing him, the captain hurried his patient on,brought him at last to the lagoon side, and leading him down the beach,laved his head and face with the tepid water. The paroxysm graduallysubsided, the sobs became less convulsive and then ceased; by an odd butnot quite unnatural conjunction, the captain's soothing current of talkdied away at the same time and by proportional steps, and the pairremained sunk in silence. The lagoon broke at their feet in pettywavelets, and with a sound as delicate as a whisper; stars of alldegrees looked down on their own images in that vast mirror; and themore angry colour of the _Farallone's_ riding lamp burned in the middledistance. For long they continued to gaze on the scene before them, andhearken anxiously to the rustle and tinkle of that miniature surf, orthe more distant and loud reverberations from the outer coast. For longspeech was denied them; and when the words came at last, they came toboth simultaneously.

  "Say, Herrick ..." the captain was beginning.

  But Herrick, turning swiftly towards his companion, bent him down withthe eager cry: "Let's up anchor, captain, and to sea!"

  "Where to, my son?" said the captain. "Up anchor's easy saying. Butwhere to?"

  "To sea," responded Herrick. "The sea's big enough! To sea--away fromthis dreadful island and that, O! that sinister man!"

  "O, we'll see about that," said Davis. "You brace up, and we'll seeabout that. You're all run down, that's what's wrong with you; you'reall nerves, like Jemimar; you've got to brace up good and be yourselfagain, and then we'll talk."

  "To sea," reiterated Herrick, "to sea to-night--now--this moment!"

  "It can't be, my son," replied the captain firmly. "No ship of mine putsto sea without provisions; you can take that for settled."

  "You don't seem to understand," said Herrick. "The whole thing is over,I tell you. There is nothing to do here, when he knows all. That manthere with the cat knows all; can't you take it in?"

  "All what?" asked the captain, visibly discomposed. "Why, he received uslike a perfect gentleman and treated us real handsome, until you beganwith your foolery--and I must say I seen men shot for less, and nobodysorry! What more do you expect anyway?"

  Herrick rocked to and fro upon the sand, shaking his head.

  "Guying us," he said; "he was guying us--only guying us; it's all we'regood for."

  "There was one queer thing, to be sure," admitted the captain, with amisgiving of the voice; "that about the sherry. Damned if I caught onto that. Say, Herrick, you didn't give me away?"

  "O! give you away!" repeated Herrick with weary, querulous scorn. "Whatwas there to give away? We're transparent; we've got rascal branded onus: detected rascal--detected rascal! Why, before he came on board,there was the name painted out, and he saw the whole thing. He made surewe would kill him there and then, and stood guying you and Huish on thechance. He calls that being frightened! Next he had me ashore; a finetime I had! _The two wolves_, he calls you and Huish. _What is the puppydoing with the two wolves?_ he asked. He showed me his pearls; he saidthey might be dispersed before morning, and _all hung by a hair_--andsmiled as he said it, such a smile! O, it's no use, I tell you! He knowsall, he sees through all; we only make him laugh with our pretences--helooks at us and laughs like God!"

  There was a silence. Davis stood with contorted brows, gazing into thenight.

  "The pearls?" he said suddenly. "He showed them to you? He has them?"

  "No, he didn't show them; I forgot: only the safe they were in," saidHerrick. "But you'll never get them!"

  "I've two words to say to that," said the captain.

  "Do you think he would have been so easy at table, unless he wasprepared?" cried Herrick. "The servants were both armed. He was armedhimself; he always is; he told me. You will never deceive his vigilance.Davis, I know it! It's all up, I tell you, and keep telling you andproving it. All up; all up. There's nothing for it, there's nothing tobe done: all gone: life, honour, love. O my God, my God, why was Iborn?"

  Another pause followed upon this outburst.

  The captain put his hands to his brow.

  "Another thing!" he broke out. "Why did he tell you all this? Seems likemadness to me!"

  Herrick shook his head with gloomy iteration. "You wouldn't understandif I were to tell you," said he.

  "I guess I can understand any blame' thing that you can tell me," saidthe captain.

  "Well, then, he's a fatalist," said Herrick.

  "What's that? a fatalist?" said Davis.

  "O, it's a fellow that believes a lot of things," said Herrick;"believes that his bullets go true; believes that all falls out as Godchooses, do as you like to prevent it; and all that."

  "Why, I guess I believe right so myself," said Davis.

  "You do?" said Herrick.

  "You bet I do!" says Davis.

  Herrick shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you must be a fool," said he, andhe leaned his head upon his knees.

  The captain stood biting his hands.

  "There's one thing sure," he said at last. "I must get Huish out ofthat. _He's_ not fit to hold his end up with a man like you describe."

  And he turned to go away. The words had been quite simple; not so thetone; and the other was quick to catch it.

  "Davis!" he cried, "no! Don't do it. Spare _me_, and don't do it--spareyourself, and leave it alone--for God's sake, for your children's sake!"

  His voice rose to a passionate shrillness; another moment, and he mightbe overheard by their not distant victim. But Davis turned on him with asavage oath and gesture; and the miserable young man rolled over on hisface on the sand, and lay speechless and helpless.

  The captain meanwhile set out rapidly for Attwater's house. As he went,he considered with himself eagerly, his thoughts racing. The man hadunderstood, he had mocked them from the beginning; he would teach him tomake a mockery of John Davis! Herrick thought him a god; give him asecond to aim in, and the god was overthrown. He chuckled as he felt thebutt of his revolver. It should be done now, as he went in. Frombehind? It was difficult to get there. From across the table? No, thecaptain preferred to shoot standing, so as you could be sure to get yourhand upon your gun. The best would be to summon Huish, and when Attwaterstood up and turned--ah, then would be the moment. Wrapped in thisardent prefiguration of events, the captain posted towards the housewith his head down.

  "Hands up! Halt!" cried the voice of Attwater.

  And the captain, before he knew what he was doing, had obeyed. Thesurprise was complete and irremediable. Coming on the top crest of hismurderous intentions, he had walked straight into an ambuscade, and nowstood, with his hands impotently lifted, staring at the verandah.

  The party was now broken up. Attwater leaned on a post, and kept Daviscovered with a Winchester. One of the servants was hard by with a secondat the port arms, leaning a little forward, round-eyed with eagerexpectancy. In the open space at the head of the stair, Huish was partlysupported by the other native; his face wreathed in meaningless smiles,his mind seemingly sunk in the contemplation of an unlighted cigar.

  "Well," said Attwater, "you seem to me to be a very twopenny pirate!"

  The captain uttered a sound in his throat for which we have no name;rage choked him.

  "I am going to give you Mr. Whish--or the wine-sop that remains of him,"continued Attwater. "He talks a great deal when he drinks, Captain Davisof the _Sea Ranger_. But I have qui
te done with him--and return thearticle with thanks. Now," he cried sharply; "another false movementlike that, and your family will have to deplore the loss of aninvaluable parent; keep strictly still, Davis."

  Attwater said a word in the native, his eye still undeviatingly fixed onthe captain; and the servant thrust Huish smartly forward from the brinkof the stair. With an extraordinary simultaneous dispersion of hismembers, that gentleman bounded forth into space, struck the earth,ricocheted, and brought up with his arms about a palm. His mind wasquite a stranger to these events; the expression of anguish thatdeformed his countenance at the moment of the leap was probablymechanical; and he suffered these convulsions in silence; clung to thetree like an infant; and seemed, by his dips, to suppose himself engagedin the pastime of bobbing for apples. A more finely sympathetic mind ora more observant eye might have remarked, a little in front of him onthe sand and still quite beyond reach, the unlighted cigar.

  "There is your Whitechapel carrion!" said Attwater. "And now you mightvery well ask me why I do not put a period to you at once, as youdeserve. I will tell you why, Davis. It is because I have nothing to dowith the _Sea Ranger_ and the people you drowned, or the _Farallone_ andthe champagne that you stole. That is your account with God; He keepsit, and He will settle it when the clock strikes. In my own case, I havenothing to go on but suspicion, and I do not kill on suspicion, not evenvermin like you. But understand: if ever I see any of you again, it isanother matter, and you shall eat a bullet. And now take yourself off.March! and as you value what you call your life, keep your hands up asyou go!"

  The captain remained as he was, his hands up, his mouth open: mesmerisedwith fury.

  "March!" said Attwater. "One--two--three!"

  And Davis turned and passed slowly away. But even as he went, he wasmeditating a prompt, offensive return. In the twinkling of an eye he hadleaped behind a tree; and was crouching there, pistol in hand, peeringfrom either side of his place of ambush with bared teeth; a serpentalready poised to strike. And already he was too late. Attwater and hisservants had disappeared; and only the lamps shone on the deserted tableand the bright sand about the house, and threw into the night in alldirections the strong and tall shadows of the palms.

  Davis ground his teeth. Where were they gone, the cowards? to what holehad they retreated beyond reach? It was in vain he should try anything,he, single and with a second-hand revolver, against three persons, armedwith Winchesters, and who did not show an ear out of any of theapertures of that lighted and silent house? Some of them might havealready ducked below it from the rear, and be drawing a bead upon him atthat moment from the low-browed crypt, the receptacle of empty bottlesand broken crockery. No, there was nothing to be done but to bring away(if it were still possible) his shattered and demoralised forces.

  "Huish," he said, "come along."

  "'S lose my ciga'," said Huish, reaching vaguely forward.

  The captain let out a rasping oath. "Come right along here," said he.

  "'S all righ'. Sleep here 'th Atty-Attwa. Go boar' t'morr'," replied thefestive one.

  "If you don't come, and come now, by the living God, I'll shoot you!"cried the captain.

  It is not to be supposed that the sense of these words in any waypenetrated to the mind of Huish; rather that, in a fresh attempt uponthe cigar, he overbalanced himself and came flying erratically forward:a course which brought him within reach of Davis.

  "Now you walk straight," said the captain, clutching him, "or I'll knowwhy not!"

  "'S lose my ciga'," replied Huish.

  The captain's contained fury blazed up for a moment. He twisted Huishround, grasped him by the neck of the coat, ran him in front of him tothe pier-end, and flung him savagely forward on his face.

  "Look for your cigar then, you swine!" said he, and blew his boat-calltill the pea in it ceased to rattle.

  An immediate activity responded on board the _Farallone_; far-awayvoices, and soon the sound of oars, floated along the surface of thelagoon; and at the same time, from nearer hand, Herrick aroused himselfand strolled languidly up. He bent over the insignificant figure ofHuish, where it grovelled, apparently insensible, at the base of thefigure-head.

  "Dead?" he asked.

  "No, he's not dead," said Davis.

  "And Attwater?" asked Herrick.

  "Now you just shut your head!" replied Davis. "You can do that, I fancy,and by God, I'll show you how! I'll stand no more of your drivel."

  They waited accordingly in silence till the boat bumped on the farthestpiers; then raised Huish, head and heels, carried him down the gangway,and flung him summarily in the bottom. On the way out he was heardmurmuring of the loss of his cigar; and after he had been handed up theside like baggage, and cast down in the alleyway to slumber, his lastaudible expression was: "Splen'l fl' Attwa'!" This the expert construedinto "Splendid fellow, Attwater"; with so much innocence had this greatspirit issued from the adventures of the evening.

  The captain went and walked in the waist with brief irate turns; Herrickleaned his arms on the taffrail; the crew had all turned in. The shiphad a gentle, cradling motion; at times a block piped like a bird. Onshore, through the colonnade of palm stems, Attwater's house was to beseen shining steadily with many lamps. And there was nothing elsevisible, whether in the heaven above or in the lagoon below, but thestars and their reflections. It might have been minutes, or it mighthave been hours, that Herrick leaned there, looking in the glorifiedwater and drinking peace. "A bath of stars," he was thinking; when ahand was laid at last on his shoulder.

  "Herrick," said the captain, "I've been walking off my trouble."

  A sharp jar passed through the young man, but he neither answered nor somuch as turned his head.

  "I guess I spoke a little rough to you on shore," pursued the captain;"the fact is, I was real mad; but now it's over, and you and me have toturn to and think."

  "I will _not_ think," said Herrick.

  "Here, old man!" said Davis kindly; "this won't fight, you know! You'vegot to brace up and help me get things straight. You're not going backon a friend? That's not like you, Herrick!"

  "O yes, it is," said Herrick.

  "Come, come!" said the captain, and paused as if quite at a loss. "Lookhere," he cried, "you have a glass of champagne. _I_ won't touch it, sothat'll show you if I'm in earnest. But it's just the pick-me-up foryou; it'll put an edge on you at once."

  "O, you leave me alone!" said Herrick, and turned away.

  The captain caught him by the sleeve; and he shook him off and turned onhim, for the moment like a demoniac.

  "Go to hell in your own way!" he cried.

  And he turned away again, this time unchecked, and stepped forward towhere the boat rocked alongside and ground occasionally against theschooner. He looked about him. A corner of the house was interposedbetween the captain and himself; all was well; no eye must see him inthat last act. He slid silently into the boat; thence, silently, intothe starry water. Instinctively he swam a little; it would be timeenough to stop by and by.

  The shock of the immersion brightened his mind immediately. The eventsof the ignoble day passed before him in a frieze of pictures, and hethanked "whatever Gods there be" for that open door of suicide. In sucha little while he would be done with it, the random business at an end,the prodigal son come home. A very bright planet shone before him anddrew a trenchant wake along the water. He took that for his line andfollowed it.

  That was the last earthly thing that he should look upon; that radiantspeck, which he had soon magnified into a City of Laputa, along whoseterraces there walked men and women of awful and benignant features,who viewed him with distant commiseration. These imaginary spectatorsconsoled him; he told himself their talk, one to another; it was ofhimself and his sad destiny.

  From such flights of fancy he was aroused by the growing coldness of thewater. Why should he delay? Here, where he was now, let him drop thecurtain, let him seek the ineffable refuge, let him lie down with allraces and generations o
f men in the house of sleep. It was easy to say,easy to do. To stop swimming: there was no mystery in that, if he coulddo it. Could he? And he could not. He knew it instantly. He was awareinstantly of an opposition in his members, unanimous and invincible,clinging to life with a single and fixed resolve, finger by finger,sinew by sinew; something that was at once he and not he--at once withinand without him; the shutting of some miniature valve in his brain,which a single manly thought should suffice to open--and the grasp of anexternal fate ineluctable as gravity. To any man there may come at timesa consciousness that there blows, through all the articulations of hisbody, the wind of a spirit not wholly his; that his mind rebels; thatanother girds him and carries him whither he would not. It came now toHerrick, with the authority of a revelation. There was no escapepossible. The open door was closed in his recreant face. He must go backinto the world and amongst men without illusion. He must stagger on tothe end with the pack of his responsibility and his disgrace, until acold, a blow, a merciful chance ball, or the more merciful hangman,should dismiss him from his infamy. There were men who could commitsuicide; there were men who could not; and he was one who could not.

  For perhaps a minute there raged in his mind the coil of this discovery;then cheerless certitude followed; and, with an incredible simplicity ofsubmission to ascertained fact, he turned round and struck out forshore. There was a courage in this which he could not appreciate; theignobility of his cowardice wholly occupying him. A strong current setagainst him like a wind in his face; he contended with it heavily,wearily, without enthusiasm, but with substantial advantage; marking hisprogress the while, without pleasure, by the outline of the trees. Oncehe had a moment of hope. He heard to the southward of him, towards thecentre of the lagoon, the wallowing of some great fish, doubtless ashark, and paused for a little, treading water. Might not this be thehangman? he thought. But the wallowing died away; mere silencesucceeded; and Herrick pushed on again for the shore, raging as he wentat his own nature. Ay, he would wait for the shark; but if he had heardhim coming!... His smile was tragic. He could have spat upon himself.

  About three in the morning, chance, and the set of the current, and thebias of his own right-handed body so decided it between them that hecame to shore upon the beach in front of Attwater's. There he sat down,and looked forth into a world without any of the lights of hope. Thepoor diving-dress of self-conceit was sadly tattered! With the fairytale of suicide, of a refuge always open to him, he had hithertobeguiled and supported himself in the trials of life; and behold! thatalso was only a fairy tale, that also was folk-lore. With theconsequences of his acts he saw himself implacably confronted for theduration of life: stretched upon a cross, and nailed there with the ironbolts of his own cowardice. He had no tears; he told himself no stories.His disgust with himself was so complete, that even the process ofapologetic mythology had ceased. He was like a man cast down from apillar, and every bone broken. He lay there, and admitted the facts, anddid not attempt to rise.

  Dawn began to break over the far side of the atoll, the sky brightened,the clouds became dyed with gorgeous colours, the shadows of the nightlifted. And, suddenly, Herrick was aware that the lagoon and the treeswore again their daylight livery; and he saw, on board the _Farallone_,Davis extinguishing the lantern, and smoke rising from the galley.

  Davis, without doubt, remarked and recognised the figure on the beach;or perhaps hesitated to recognise it; for after he had gazed a longwhile from under his hand, he went into the house and fetched a glass.It was very powerful; Herrick had often used it. With an instinct ofshame he hid his face in his hands.

  "And what brings you here, Mr. Herrick-Hay, or Mr. Hay-Herrick?" askedthe voice of Attwater. "Your back view from my present position isremarkably fine, and I would continue to present it. We can get on verynicely as we are, and if you were to turn round, do you know? I think itwould be awkward."

  Herrick slowly rose to his feet; his heart throbbed hard, a hideousexcitement shook him, but he was master of himself. Slowly he turned andfaced Attwater and the muzzle of a pointed rifle. "Why could I not dothat last night?" he thought.

  "Well, why don't you fire?" he said aloud, in a voice that trembled.

  Attwater slowly put his gun under his arm, then his hands in hispockets.

  "What brings you here?" he repeated.

  "I don't know," said Herrick; and then, with a cry: "Can you do anythingwith me?"

  "Are you armed?" said Attwater. "I ask for the form's sake."

  "Armed? No!" said Herrick. "O yes, I am, too!"

  And he flung upon the beach a dripping pistol.

  "You are wet," said Attwater.

  "Yes, I am wet," said Herrick. "Can you do anything with me?"

  Attwater read his face attentively.

  "It would depend a good deal upon what you are," said he.

  "What I am? A coward!" said Herrick.

  "There is very little to be done with that," said Attwater. "And yet thedescription hardly strikes one as exhaustive."

  "O, what does it matter?" cried Herrick. "Here I am. I am brokencrockery; I am a burst drum; the whole of my life is gone to water; Ihave nothing left that I believe in, except my living horror of myself.Why do I come to you? I don't know; you are cold, cruel, hateful; and Ihate you, or I think I hate you. But you are an honest man, an honestgentleman. I put myself, helpless, in your hands. What must I do? If Ican't do anything, be merciful and put a bullet through me; it's only apuppy with a broken leg!"

  "If I were you, I would pick up that pistol, come up to the house, andput on some dry clothes," said Attwater.

  "If you really mean it?" said Herrick. "You know they--we--they.... Butyou know all."

  "I know quite enough," said Attwater. "Come up to the house."

  And the captain, from the deck of the _Farallone_, saw the two men passtogether under the shadow of the grove.