Broken Embrace

by Dana Mason

  Brian shook his head again and lowered his eyes to his hands clamped onto the steering wheel. Why am I here? Melissa can't help me figure out Julie. If anything she'd cheer at his misery. Even so, he climbed out of the car and walked to the side door of the building where a welcome mat lay, and the numbers on the door read twenty-four thirty. Under the peephole, she'd taped a note.

  Come on up, I'm at the top of the stairs and to the left.

  "Wonderful," he sneered. "Invite every Tom, Dick, and Harry into your apartment. Great thinking, Melissa."

  Brian made a mental note to talk to Mark about the security. He pried the heavy door open with a metal-on-metal screech and walked through, surprised by the bright hall with its fresh white paint and the polished wood handrail trailing up the stairs. He expected dingy and dark, but looking up, he found the source of light. A huge open skylight let in a gentle breeze and a whole lot of sun.

  Brian climbed the stairs and walked directly into her familiar scent lingering in the hall, laughing at him. He held his breath and wanted to slam his head into the wall for even considering talking to her. What a lousy idea. He glowered at the door when Melissa's laughter sounded from the other side, along with a rustle and a man's voice. He started to turn back when the door swung open.

  Melissa yanked the handle on a howl of laughter. She had a man's arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back into the room. Her long, blonde hair hung around her flushed face as she laughed with a wide, open-mouthed smile.

  Brian's and Melissa's eyes met, and the smile slipped from her face. She pushed at the arm around her, straightening up. A jolt of electricity surged through Brian's chest before spreading throughout his body to the tips of his fingers and toes. He'd never get used to the hurt and disappointment in her eyes every time she looked at him.

  "What's wrong?" She took a step toward him, forcing him to shuffle backward.

  He scanned her boyfriend, trying to hide the disgust burning in his stomach as his eyes landed on the little wire-rimmed glasses sitting on the man's nose. "Sorry. I'll come back another time." He turned back to the stairs.

  "Brian, wait. What's going on?"

  "N-nothing. Agh, Jules nagged me to come check out your new place. Sorry if I interrupted something." It took everything he had to keep his irritation hidden. He was not jealous—not jealous of this little punk with his hands on Melissa. It'd been years since he held any claim to her, why did this bother him? Why after so long? He'd given Melissa up; given up everything he had with her to be with Julie. That was his choice. Julie was his, not Melissa. He dropped his chin to his chest, reminded of Julie's betrayal.

  "What's wrong, Brian?" She stepped down toward him, getting closer.

  "Nothing," he said with too much edge in his voice. "I'll come back another time."

  "No—I'm on my way out anyway," the boyfriend said before leaning in and kissing Melissa. "I'll see you Sunday, eight o'clock." He pecked her on the cheek again, and the hair on the back of Brian's neck prickled.

  "Oh—ah, Brian, Dr. Chase Collins. Chase, this is an old friend, Detective Brian Hammel. You met Julie the other day. Brian is her husband."

  "Nice to meet you, Brian…Hammel?" Chase asked, extending a hand. "Wow, a detective?"

  Brian shook his hand firmly. "Nice to meet you, too, Doctor."

  "He's a PhD, not a medical doctor," Melissa emphasized. "Chase is a researcher."

  "You don't need to leave on my account. I just wanted to stop by and see the place." Brian leaned against the handrail as Chase descended the stairs to pass him. "I can come back."

  "No, no, I really need to get going before the traffic gets bad." Chase waved a welcoming hand toward the apartment door then took the rest of the stairs two at a time, rushing out the lower exit.

  Brian stared at the door as it closed behind Chase, looking for an excuse to leave, wishing like hell he'd thought better than to show up here and face Melissa. He finally turned to look at her. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare off your boyfriend."

  "He was on his way out."

  "Yeah, it sure looked that way to me." Sarcasm dripped from his voice.

  "Did you come here to pick a fight? What's wrong, Bri, didn't catch the bad guy today so you came to spar with me?"

  "He seems a little buttoned up for you, Lis. I expected to see you with someone who has a little more flavor."

  "Since when do you care about who I see?"

  Brian shrugged. "I don't." His eyes dropped to his feet as he descended another stair. "Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have come here."

  "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

  He stopped mid-step. "Nothing happened."

  "I can tell when you're upset."

  "Your radar is off today, Parker," he said, looking up at her again, his jaw tightening in reflex. "Everything's fine. I wanted to get Julie off my back. She won't give up until I tell her I saw this place."

  Melissa chuckled. "You are a bad liar." She crossed her arms and stared at him. "Brian, what's happened? Everything okay with the kids?"

  "They're fine." He gave up on the escape and walked up the stairs and into her air-conditioned apartment, relieved to be out of the heat and glad to get out of the confined space of the hall.

  He looked around the huge loft, surprised. The apartment took up the entire top floor above the warehouse. It was completely open with the exception of one room, which Brian assumed was a bedroom since he didn't see a bed. Melissa had the space sectioned off strategically with different pieces of furniture. The apartment was bright with a warm glow of light, not something he expected in a warehouse loft. He looked up at the skylights dotted along the ceiling.

  "They're sun-tracking reflectors," Melissa said. "The panels follow the sun and reflect light into the apartment. It's great for my studio." She gestured to the far end of the loft.

  "But it's cool in here, wouldn't that heat the room?" Brian asked.

  "No, they're vented and actually cooler than a light bulb."

  Large, umbrella-type flashbulb lanterns faced a draped wall. Opposite the wall, camera and computer equipment littered a long table.

  "I thought you were a journalist." Brian shifted to look at her.

  She nodded. "I'm a writer. I write for a few different online magazines, and I have a regular column in—" She stopped mid-sentence to stare at him again.

  "What?"

  Her eyes narrowed on him as she cleared her throat. "I'm also a photographer."

  He turned from her stare and stepped to the high windows on the far wall. "Is it pretty quiet here at night?" he asked.

  "During the day, too. I get the occasional rumbling semi-truck driving by, but I can't complain."

  Brian picked up a photo of Melissa and her twin sister Ali. Ali was engaged to his partner Johnny, and happier now than he'd ever seen her. Even after the crazy year they'd had.

  Melissa's face stood out from her sister's; he'd never had trouble telling them apart like most people had. He'd met Ali and Melissa when he was a little boy. They grew up in the same neighborhood and had been two of his best friends. He couldn't remember a time when there wasn't a Parker sister in his life.

  "What type of business were you thinking about letting in downstairs?"

  "I'm not sure yet, but I'm not in any hurry."

  "You're not safe out here alone."

  Melissa smirked. "I'm fine. You don't need to worry. Not that you were."

  Brian turned to glance at her over his shoulder. "Your ex-brother-in-law is a security expert, and your soon-to-be new brother-in-law is a cop. I expected better security."

  "I have an appointment with Mark this week. Summors Security is putting in surveillance and a full system. I'll be able to see who's at the door downstairs and buzz them in so I don't need to leave it unlocked."

  "Is Mark doing the installation himself?"

  "Yes, he and Shane."

  Brian nodded. Shane was another of his best friends and Mark's best agent. Someone he trusted. "Make s
ure they cover the entire parking lot. I can put in some motion sensor lights—"

  "We're not putting cameras in the parking lot, only the front entrance, but he'll put the motion sensor lights in. You don't need to worry about it."

  Brian didn't turn this time; he felt Melissa's eyes boring into him and the heat from her gaze. He needed to leave before she questioned him further. Her intuition was always spot-on and it pissed him off. She was like some sort of radar for people's feelings, especially his. Both Parker sisters were like that, always nailing him on his thoughts and feelings, sometimes even before he knew his own feelings. Ali was usually more subtle about it. She didn't put him on the spot; she'd just give him that I've-got-you-figured-out look. Melissa, on the other hand, liked to throw it in his face.

  "She told you, didn't she?"

  "Excuse me?" He turned, glaring at her. They stared at each other for a long moment and his entire body heated. "You knew?" He felt sick as the realization washed over him. He slammed the photo of her and Ali back down and sneered at her. "You fucking knew, Melissa?"

  She nodded, lowering her eyes. "Yes."

  "And you didn't tell me? Is this some sort of payback? Your karma?"

  Her mouth fell open. "No!"

  She was lying, the guilt in her eyes gave her away.

  "What could I do?" She threw her hands out. "You wouldn't have believed me."

  "Nice revenge—you and Julie laughing at me behind my back." He crossed his arms to fight the urge to punch something.

  "This isn't funny at all. Julie is a bitch for what she's doing. I would never encourage this."

  "Sure you wouldn't," he scoffed. "Who else knows? Did you tell your little boyfriend? Is that why he took off so fast, afraid he couldn't keep a straight face around me?"

  "No! Brian, no! Nobody knows, I found out by accident. Julie didn't tell me, and she doesn't know that I know."

  "How did you find out by accident? Has she been running all over town with this jerk? Who is he?"

  She stepped up to the window next to him, avoiding his eyes and not speaking.

  Yeah, she knew. The truth was written all over her face. When she finally turned, the fire burning in his gut simmered out at the expression on her face.

  "I'm sorry, Brian."

  He wanted to retreat, run from her, but before he could, she wrapped her arms around him. His mouth wouldn't form the retort he wanted to fling at her for the apology. If she was sorry, she'd tell him who the bastard was.

  She trapped him with her warmth. He tucked his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled her familiar scent. His knees weakened with the reminder of past embraces. Pulling her closer, he fought the lump building in the back of his throat.

  This was the first time in over seventeen years they'd been in a room alone together. Sure they'd seen each other, spent time together in groups over the last couple of months, but now that they were alone, things were different. Holding her and the honesty of the embrace felt surreal. He didn't want to move. His head screamed in indignation at the fucking cruelty of their world, the cruelty of the two of them, apart. He'd spent the last seventeen years avoiding any thought of how good she felt and vowing to be a good husband. And for what—for Julie to step out on him?

  Brian tried to escape her and hold on to the little bit of dignity he had left, but Melissa lingered on his shoulder, inhaling heavily. When she finally pulled away, tear tracks ran down her face.

  "Don't cry." He flinched at her tears. "Please don't cry."

  "I'm so angry at her. I can't imagine how you feel. I wanted to tell you." She shrugged. "But I honestly didn't think you would believe it coming from me."

  He took a couple of steps back to give himself some space. "I know you hate me most of the time, but I can't imagine you would ever lie about something like that."

  "Sure, you don't think I'd lie, but you believe I'm sitting around laughing at you and hating you." She scoffed and said, "I never hated you, I just…" She turned away and grabbed a box of Kleenex. "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

  "Maybe it does. Some things matter."

  "Go to hell, Brian. They matter to you now only because you're living it now. You never cared until you got hit in the face with your own—"

  "You're wrong. You have no idea." He brushed a hand at her, his heart racing now. As if she knew anything about how he felt. "Don't pretend to know my feelings, especially when you wouldn't even have a conversation with me for seventeen years."

  "If you wanted to have this conversation then you would've tried before you married Julie."

  "So…what? Now? You wanna do this now, Melissa? You want to hash this shit out today?" He shook his head, his anger flaring. "Fucking hell, let's do it, because I sure don't remember my phone ringing all those years ago."

  "Are you kidding me?" Her eyes grew wide. "Why would I call you? You married someone else. Married! What would we have talked about? You're fucking wedding colors?"

  "I'm just saying, those phone lines go both ways, you know."

  Melissa shook her head. "No—no! Stop! I'm not doing this with you today. You're upset, and I won't add fuel to your fire. It was a long time ago. You have your life and I have mine."

  He turned away from her, closing his eyes on a heavy exhale. And some life he had lived. A cheating wife and no Melissa. "I didn't come here to fight with you, Melissa."

  "Why did you come here?"

  "I don't know. I just got in the car and ended up here."

  "What can I do?" she asked, but Brian shook his head without answering. "I'm here for you, if you need me."

  "You haven't been here for me in a long time."

  "But I'm here now. I learned a hard lesson when Micah was taken. I'll never stay away like that again. My nephews hardly know me. They're more familiar with you and Julie than me, and I'm their aunt. Do you know how much it hurt not being here for Ali when Micah was kidnapped?"

  "I'm sorry if it's my fault you stayed away from your family."

  "Brian, I'm done being angry, and I'm done carrying around this ball and chain. I want you to be done, too."

  "That's hard to do with you being here." He bowed his head when he said it. His words may be hurtful, but they were true. "It's hard not being reminded when you turn those accusatory eyes on me."

  She tilted her head and gave him a pathetic smile. "I promise to only smile at you from now on."

  "That doesn't make things any easier either, Lis." Brian walked toward the door, avoiding her eyes. "Thanks for the talk. I need to go have it out with my wife."

  Before Melissa had a chance to respond, he was out the door.

  Chapter Three

  Melissa breathed a sigh of relief when Brian climbed into his car and drove away. She'd done it. She'd kept the secret she'd been sworn to keep. It took every ounce of strength she had and the deception exhausted her. She wanted more than anything to warn him of the peak his family was teetering on, but Erin would never forgive her. And Brian will never forgive himself when he finds out his fifteen-year-old daughter was the one who'd told her about Julie's affair. Maybe an affair with a stranger would be different, but what Julie was doing with this man—what she was putting Erin through—was unforgivable. Just because Julie wasn't aware Erin knew about the affair didn't make it right. Ignorance didn't make what Julie was doing okay.

  "Poor Erin," Melissa mumbled. She was so upset when she told Melissa about the man Julie had been seeing, finding her mom with him was too much for Erin. She'd confided in Melissa only, not even confronting her mother when she saw them together.

  Melissa wanted nothing more than to personally kick Julie's ass when she found out about the affair. Julie was throwing everything away for a fling. She was hurting the people who loved her the most. Melissa would never forget the tone in Erin's voice when she called her that day.

  Melissa sat down, hugging herself and inhaling deeply. Brian's arms felt so strong and familiar. He hadn't changed much; his hugs still held the power to des
troy her defenses and scatter her thoughts. He'd changed in many ways, yet he was the same, too. His soft curls had been cut short, and he seemed bigger, stronger than when they were in school. Holding him had brought up so many emotions. Her sense of touch had a memory, and so did her sense of smell. She could almost taste him on her tongue when she inhaled his familiar scent. It had reminded her of every hug they'd ever shared.

  His eyes were haunted today, bright green instead of the hazel she loved so much. Brian's eyes always grew greener when he was upset.

  She'd meant to keep her distance when he came inside looking lost, but she couldn't stand the brokenhearted expression or the tone of frustration in his voice. He had truly been clueless about Julie's affair. Melissa closed her eyes. "And he really loves her." It hurt to admit it, hurt more than she wanted to think about.

  Melissa jerked her head up when the phone rang. She snatched up the receiver and hit the talk button. "Hello."

  "Melissa?" A whisper came from the other end.

  "Hello, yes, this is Melissa."

  "Melissa, my mom is packing."

  "Erin, speak up, sweetheart."

  "My mom is packing. What should I do?" Erin said. "She's packing her things. I asked her what she was doing, but she won't talk to me."

  "Your dad's not home yet?"

  "No, oh—" She stopped talking abruptly. After a few seconds of silence, she whispered. "He's here; he just got home."