A House Out of Time

by Bruce Macfarlane

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  E.

  It was obvious that the beautiful blue rocket was waiting to transport James and me to a new unknown. Not least because as we alighted from the time machine its door closed behind us with a loud disconcerting click.

  Despite my first thought on hearing that sound to attempt to return to its safety, I decided that this was not quite the right time to ask James if he had a key to the door's lock as I knew the reply would possibly undo any advantage I had gained from our previous discussions.

  Instead I asked, “Shall we try to find the door to this rocket?” For I could see no other exit from our predicament. But before James could respond a hatch opened at the side from which descended a small ladder. He looked at me with an expression indicating that he had had more than sufficient admonishment for one day and said, “Any other suggestions before we enter?”

  I took his hand, “No, James.”

  With one last look around to see if there was any evidence of a reprieve from our situation I ascended the ladder as closely behind him as possible for I did not want to discover the vehicle was designed for just one idiot.

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  J.

  We emerged in an oval, blue-lit room. There were two couches each with its own control panel complete with steering wheels. Someone or something had obviously gone to some effort to design this cockpit for human comfort. The walls of the room, which were of a bronze metallic colour were smooth and blank.

  Seeing nothing else to do, such as run away, because the hatch from which we had entered had just closed with an un-reassuring hiss behind us, we decided without suggestion to carefully sit on the two couches. However, as we tried to make ourselves comfortable they immediately changed shape to not only accommodate our bodies but to envelop them. We were now trapped and, I realised, drawing a little comfort from it, we were possibly in the best crash seats that had ever been invented. Then to reinforce what both of us were expecting next, the two steering wheels and consoles moved towards us until they were comfortably in reach of our hands.

  Elizabeth was the first to speak. “James?”

  “Yes?”

  “Although I know you admire my dog cart driving and I have extricated us from one or two tight corners which you had not expected, I have to tell you that I have never driven a vehicle with a steering wheel. When you turn it clockwise does a vehicle turn to my left or the other left?"

  "Usually turning it clockwise turns the vehicle right."

  "But I have been on a steam launch with such a thing and found turning it clockwise caused it to turn left. Perhaps I should try it?”

  Before I could stop her she turned the wheel clockwise a little and all hell broke loose. The walls of the cockpit lit up to show the outside cavern and flashing horizontal bands of green and red lights appeared on the console. Oh, and the entire cavern started slowly rotating to the left.

  “Let go of the wheel!”

  The cavern motion came to a halt and the lights dimmed on the console. I was gratified to see it had a self-centring mechanism.

  "My God, James! What have I done?"

  "You've followed your own suggestion."

  I thought I might have overplayed that one but when she looked at me still with shock on her face she said, "What an idiot I am in this sea of madness! I am not fit to be let out. What a pair we are! Surely there is someone out there that could do a better job than us?"

  "Well, if there is, he's obviously seen what we're up against and kept himself well hidden."

  "All I can say is if I find him he will be severely admonished for allowing us to suffer so."

  "But just think what he's missing."

  "What could possibly want him to share this adventure?"

  "Being with you of course."

  A smile at last. She tried to struggle out of the couch. “Oh, this damn thing," she said, "Now I can't even kiss you!"

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  E.

  I was trapped in a cocoon far in the past in a strange device of Martian making inside a cavern deep below the surface of an alien planet only minutes before its destruction.

  I had always expected, from my extensive readings of the penny dreadfuls and popular romances, that at this point the beautiful heroine would be expecting her dashing beau to come racing to her rescue to save her from a dastardly death. I can only presume I had not made sufficient effort to ensure my looks would warrant such assistance as my beau seemed to be ignoring me completely and was instead quietly and rather unhurriedly studying the buttons and lights on the consoles.

  This was punctuated every few minutes by the sudden flashing of lights and small judders of the ship assisted by his addressing the machine with explosive comments regarding its inability to do what it was told. It reminded me of a master trying to train a new puppy.

  This carried on for some time during which I found it quite difficult to keep my thoughts to myself and not encourage him to do something. Eventually and thankfully he said. “OK, now we know how this space ship works. Let's try some tests."

  I was then introduced to the wonders of space ship navigation which involved a number of involuntary and rather shaky trips around and up and down the cavern. I was reminded of a holiday by train to the Norfolk Broads where my father had hired what I believe he called a ‘Gaff Sloop’ or what I still refer to as a rickety, leaking, cold, wooden tub with two wet canvas sails. Oh, and I had almost forgotten the four berths covered with bedding which I can only presume the local poor house had found no longer suitable for its inhabitants. The first hour or so were spent learning the ‘ropes’ under our father’s supervision. We were helped and encouraged by a group of locals who had gathered on the bank and who, judging by their growing numbers, had invited their acquaintances from far and wide to assist in our education. After another hour of little progress Father suggested rather unfairly that he now understood why women were not normally allowed in the Navy and perhaps we should all pack our bags and go home. However, just as we all agreed this would be a good idea, we found ourselves sailing or more accurately blown on to the Broads.

  We looked back at the receding crowd on the bank who were now waving and pointing at a rope trailing in the water from the wharf. As we drifted off we discovered, through not a little interrogation from our father which included comments on the disadvantages of raising children, that Flory, being only fourteen at the time and therefore somewhat bored, had succeeded in untying a round turn and two half hitches and detaching it from the boat. There then followed a rather unpleasant afternoon ‘bumping’ into bridges and banks and shouting ‘Give way to Sail!’ accompanied by Flory crying, at the first sign of a motor launch coming in our direction. We were eventually rescued by a rather nice and courteous man in a launch who suggested and we agreed that it was best for everyone if we stayed in the local hostelry overnight. During dinner that evening the man appeared again and after enquiring about our welfare asked if Flory and I would like him to teach us the ‘ropes’ instead the next day. Unfortunately, our father must have noticed our gushing enthusiasm for this offer and using the excuse that we were still of an impressionable age decided that we must return home at the earliest opportunity for our own protection. It was only later that we discovered that our father’s nautical knowledge was limited to a day’s dinghy sailing with his friends on the Thames following an exceedingly late evening at their Club. And to think he was the man from whom I had sought advice for all things important in my life!

  But back to this sailing ship which thankfully I noticed did not have a tethering rope. Although the controls were different from a carriage I quickly recognised it was like a new horse. One must be responsive to its needs and limitations. It could not be persuaded beyond its capabilities. This was not the attitude of James who seemed to be doing his best to flog it to death and encouraged me to do the same. However, apart from a particularly hair-raising manoeuvre in which I had flip
ped it upside down and turned it into a spin he remarked that perhaps my more cautious approach had some merit.

  Eventually we agreed, after taking it in turns to drive a number of times, that no further improvement in our skills could be acquired without the assistance of someone with experience or sense and that we were only in one piece because thankfully the ship could detect an imminent contact with the walls and stop just in time by itself.

  There was however, one important question.

  "So, James, who is going to be the driver?"

  "After that amazing loop-the-loop I think you should be."

  "If only I could remember how I performed that trick. But it was fun and I would like to have a go."

  "Good. Then you’re on. I don't think we have to worry too much because it seems to be able to know when we're doing something really stupid. Not of course that I would expect you to do such a thing."

  I had not expected James to acquiesce so easily as normally he enjoyed driving anything with an engine. Sensing he may have still been trying to make amends for his Martian disappearing trick I tried to reassure him, "James?”

  “Yes?”

  “Despite my often rather hasty admonishments of your unexpected actions you must not conclude that I think you have a monopoly in that area. I am well aware of my own mistakes and how by chance we survived them as they often revisit me at night with a shudder. So please promise, if you feel I have reached my limits, you will take over, won't you?"

  "Yes, of course I will. And vice versa."

  I had sensed correctly for I could see he was relieved by my offer.

  "So we are ready.” I said. "But there are still two unanswered questions. How can we move when everything else is frozen in time and more importantly, what are we supposed to do now?"

  As if to answer the second, all the lights came on and the ship began to slowly move up the cavern on its own accord.

  I exclaimed, “James! If in future, you even detect that I am about to make another suggestion about any subject will you please immediately bind and gag me and lock me in a darkened room where I will promise to be of no further trouble.”

  “I had no idea you were into that sort of thing, Elizabeth. Unfortunately, not being brought up as a Victorian gentleman, I prefer you loose and fancy free. But be assured If the occasion arises I expect you will find me already in there to keep you company.”

  And with those confusing thoughts in mind I watched the space ship continue to slowly rise towards the mouth of the cavern above.

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  Chapter 11

  J.

  As we slowly ascended the cavern my first thought was why were we moving while everything else was frozen in time? And also why was it not completely black because I reasoned if time had stopped so had all the photons. And then it occurred to me that it was only when we moved we saw light as we interacted with it.

  We eventually came to the surface and stopped. The great Tharis Volcanoes stood silently on the plain and up above us hung the third moon, behind which was Halley’s comet dangerously close.

  Dangerously close! That meant…I suddenly realised we were witnessing the event before the time fracture! Elizabeth had recognised it as well.

  “We have travelled through the barrier! How did we do that?”

  “It must be as Wells said. We are the only ones who are able to move through time freely.”

  “But how do we do it? Do we think it and it just happens?”

  “If that was the case, when we were first going out I would have been around to your bedroom every night.”

  “Do you have any thoughts in your heads that do not involve visiting respectable ladies in their bedrooms and ravishing them?”

  “Nope. By the way who mentioned ravishing them?”

  A slight pause. Then she said, “I think we better return to the subject in hand before I am compromised.”

  I said, "Good idea. Well, I think it is now up to us to do something. Any ideas?"

  "You are still asking me for suggestions, James?"

  "Yes, I have faith in you."

  "Very well. We find ourselves here at the beginning of time and sent by the Martians. So I would conclude that we must do something that they want."

  "Such as something which ensures that they take over our world."

  "Oh, James, you are such a cynic.”

  “You mean a realist.”

  “Possibly but I am too exhausted to save the world again. Surely as they have not harmed us they would not want to do that?"

  "God knows. But maybe as we seem to be the only people who can go through time unaided perhaps they are using us."

  "You know you may have reason but I have just had a thought. The Martians up to this catastrophe were possibly quite happy with their world. Perhaps they want us to try and advert it."

  "You mean if their planet wasn't ruined they wouldn't need our planet."

  "Yes. And there in front of us is the cause of their problem, Halley's Comet."

  "So you think if it could be diverted from its path a little it would avoid the third moon and prevent the disaster on Mars?"

  "It would be worth a try, James."

  Were Victorians really like this? Without fear? How cocooned western society had become. If I ever get back home and am accused of cowardice I will reply that I am almost as brave as my wife.

  "Ok, let's do it!" I said resignedly. “After all, we’re stuck in these seats with the doors locked.”

  However, for some reason, possibly only known to the Martians, my suggestion was not taken up by the spaceship. It just hovered there about half a mile above the surface.

  "Despite what I said earlier, James, shall I suggest it?"

  "Go on then. I'll see you in the darkened room."

  Nothing happened.

  "It looks like we'll have to do it ourselves.” I said. “Ready to be the first Victorian space pilot?"

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  E.

  If my friends from Girton could see me now steering a great blue ship in space, what would they think? I would love to return to one of those smoke-filled, male, monocled parties to which we ladies were invited and put on show to absorb their condescending wit. Imagine arriving dressed in jeans, a loose unbuttoned shirt and one of my bras which James found favourable and recount wondrous tales of travels in time and space. I shared this thought with James.

  "That would be a sight for sore eyes and I promise I would visit you in Bedlam afterwards as often as possible. Now let's see if we can get close to the comet."

  I navigated the ship up into the sky. I found the controls surprisingly responsive and forgiving as though the ship was helping me. As we rose above the volcanoes the third moon appeared over the horizon.

  As we approached the comet we began to encounter what I can only describe as white flakes of snow which became thicker until I felt we were in a windless blizzard. I could see now the comet was not solid. It was like a gigantic ball of slush from which long beams of icy vapour and dust stretched towards the Sun.

  Another few minutes passed, if time was indeed the measure of our journey, and the comet had become a mass of grey and white rocky substance. It must have been five or six miles in diameter.

  I decided to stop the ship.

  "What shall we do?" I said.

  "We drive into it and try and divert it from that moon. I think it’s only slush and space dirt."

  It seemed a very boyish plan.

  “Is that our plan, James? Have you not heard of Lord Cardigan’s disastrous adventure?”

  “Yes. But those were cannon balls. I’m sure these are made of snow.”

  We started forward again. The ship's nose pushed into the icy surface. Great chunks broke away. It really was like a dirty snowball. For what seemed a mile we ploughed through the slush and ice.

  "It's so light I think we're going to fly straight through it.” I said.

  And then we came to a h
alt.

  “I think we have stopped, James.”

  “As in the words: try as you might it won’t go any farther?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you tried reversing or your flip and roll?”

  “Yes.”

  I have often thought if I was faced with imminent danger or death what I would do. Would I scream or accept my fate in stoical silence? Now faced with such a situation I discovered to my surprise that my natural response was extreme anger at everything, including the Martians, Mr Wells and myself. A few arrows even went James’ way. This had no effect on him however because he was too busy being affected in the same way.

  After a few minutes in which I was for once grateful James had extended my vocabulary sufficiently to express my emotions properly we calmed down.

  “Well, Elizabeth, although that didn’t help one jot, it was quite therapeutic. It was also a great insight into the female brain on how parts of the anatomy should be applied in situations like this.”

  “I prefer it if you don’t mention my outburst to anyone in future or come to think of it, the past.”

  “Not a word. But did you really get all those words off me?”

  I gave him a demurely innocent smile. “Of course, James. I hope you are not implying that before I met you I was ever in company where I might have heard such language.”

  “Of course not. How rude of me to even suggest it.”

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  J.

  I’ve never quite understood when we have been faced with almost certain death how we end up in this banter. But to quote Elizabeth’s words, it is a comfort.

  And that was the last ‘comfort’ we had for a while because the block of ice we found ourselves wedged in began to crack. Great fissures appeared running in all directions and getting wider and wider until our ice cage broke in two revealing patches of the black sky. I selected one and said, “See that black hole there? I’m going for it!”