Letting Go (Dangerous Love)

by Elle Keating

  “How old is he?” Brennan asked.

  “Not absolutely certain, but the vet thinks he’s around six or seven. He wasn’t surrendered so we couldn’t ask his previous owner.”

  “Where did he come from?”

  “He was found wandering the streets of Atlantic City, came to us infested with fleas, covered in sores and burn marks.”

  “Well, he looks healthy now,” Brennan said, squatting. He put his hand out and the dog tentatively walked over. After some cajoling, Pete licked Brennan’s fingers and his tail started to wag.

  “You can understand why he’s hesitant. He’s been passed over so many times.” Brennan’s jaw locked and Anna could tell that he didn’t like hearing that at all. She felt for the dog too, but she had a feeling something else was bothering Brennan.

  “How does he get along with other dogs?”

  “Unlike some shelters we socialize our dogs here, preparing them for their new families and families that already may have pets. Like I said, he’s a lover, just slow to warm up.”

  “Anna, what do you think? Think he and Mack will get along?”

  Something in his tone made her heart clench. “I think they’ll get along just fine,” she said.

  He smiled and Brennan pet him through the kennel bars. “I’ll take him,” Brennan said.

  ***

  Brennan

  He was officially a dog dad.

  Brennan glanced in the rearview mirror and took in the scene. Pete was hanging out the window, sniffing the air, his ears flopping in the wind, while Anna held onto him just in case he decided to take a leap out of the window. He had no idea what Pete was capable of right now, so Anna acting as a seatbelt was a good idea.

  He pulled into the PetSmart parking lot and Brennan assumed Pete’s leash. The shelter had given them a collar and leash, but he was in need of other things, like a dog bed, bowls, food, and toys… lots of toys. He was going to spoil this dog rotten. He knew why he was drawn to this dog, to his story. What were the fucking odds that Pete was from the very city he had lived in until he had been adopted? This dog was meant to be his.

  Brennan and Anna walked over to the grooming department and he asked the woman at the desk if they had any appointments available. Luckily, it wasn’t busy and they were able to fit him in. But when Brennan went to hand over the leash to the groomer, Pete started to whimper and buck. “I… I don’t think he wants you to leave him,” Anna said.

  “Can I stay close by?” he asked the groomer.

  “Sure, no problem,” she said with a huge smile.

  Brennan heard what sounded like a chuckle escape Anna. When he turned to look at her, Anna was glaring at the woman. Was she jealous? She didn’t seem like the jealous type, but Brennan could feel the tension radiating off her, and he both loved and feared it. Because friends aren’t supposed to get jealous.

  And they certainly shouldn’t be giving out orgasms.

  What had he been thinking last night? Well, he knew what he had been thinking with, that was for sure. And that was a goddam problem, one that he knew would come to a head. But he couldn’t help himself last night. Knowing she had watched him pleasure himself and liked it, heard him utter her name as he came. But what had really turned him on was that she had tried to lie about it. This confident woman had tried to play it off. She was so damned tempting. He had no idea how he had managed not to tear away his own pants and sink inside her. He couldn’t keep this up. He loved watching her fall apart at the seams, but he ached for her, to feel her beneath him, her legs locked around him, coaxing him to get closer, to come inside.

  “I’ll shop around for a little if you want to stay with him,” Anna said. The groomer’s smile grew even wider and Anna rolled her eyes. “I’ll be in the toy aisle.”

  Brennan smiled at Anna but she just turned on her heel and stormed away. She was definitely jealous.

  Brennan took a seat just feet from where Pete was now being pampered. He had been a little worried about how he would handle being groomed by a complete stranger, but after a few minutes of being baby-talked and assured that he was such a good boy, Pete relaxed and didn’t look like he wanted to jump out of the gigantic tub anymore. Brennan sighed the same time his phone vibrated in his pocket. He retrieved his phone and read the incoming text from Luke:

  “Just checking in. Give me a call when you get your head out of your ass.”

  Translation: I know something is up with you and I’m here if you want to talk.

  Brennan stared at the text and thought about the man who had sent it. The boy who had kept him and his brother alive. The boy who had endured so much but still looked out for him even now, even after what he had done. Brennan closed his eyes and just like that he was back there…

  Brennan pressed his ear against the bathroom door and listened for movement, any sound that would signal that Warren or his mother were awake. He had held it as long as he could, but his stomach started to hurt and he couldn’t bear it any longer. He had crept to the only bathroom in the apartment, shut the door, and did his business as fast as he could. He needed to get back to his brothers. Last night he had been too afraid to wake Luke and Gabe and tell them that he had tried to shoot Warren and failed. But in the light of day, things became clear and he knew what he had to do. They had to get out of that apartment. Warren was going to make Luke pay for what Brennan had done and that couldn’t happen.

  Confident that everyone was still asleep, he opened the bathroom door. But before he could peek out, a hand wrapped around his skinny arm and dragged him out into the hallway. A cigarette dangled from his mother’s lips as she glared at him. “Warren’s not happy, baby. Want to tell Mommy why he is so angry right now?”

  He wanted to spit in her face. Instead, he tried to wiggle out of her grasp, but her grip tightened and he met her gaze head on. “I tried to kill him. I want him dead… I want you dead.”

  “So brave.” She blew smoke in his face and chuckled. “But let’s see how brave you will be in just a few short minutes.” Her chipped nails dug into his skin and she pulled him down the hall and into his bedroom. His stomach lurched the moment his eyes landed on his brothers. Gabe was on his knees, tears already streaming down his face as he stared straight ahead. Luke was naked, crouched on the floor, his wrists handcuffed to the rusty radiator against the wall. Luke met his gaze but just briefly before looking away.

  “The man of the hour has arrived. Take a seat, boy,” Warren said, gesturing to a chair that he had brought in from their living room. “Want to tell your brothers why you are the guest of honor today? Why you get a front row seat?” His mother handed Warren a lit cigarette and he inhaled deeply. Brennan glanced at Luke but he knew what he would encounter. Until this was over, Luke wouldn’t look at his brothers, never show them what this monster was doing to him.

  Brennan balled his fists and prayed for God to kill him, right here, with a lightning bolt, a ball of fire, anything. “Aww… I think my boy’s angry with you, Warren,” his mother said, releasing his arm.

  Warren unbuckled his pants and pulled out his penis. The sight of it made Brennan want to throw up, because he knew what was going to happen next. “Shouldn’t I be the one who is angry, Brennan? You did try to shoot me last night with my own gun. That wasn’t very nice, was it?”

  Luke looked over at him and Brennan was surprised at what he saw. He expected Luke to be mad at him for being so stupid. Because of what he did, Luke would have to pay. But as their eyes locked he saw it, felt it. His brother was proud of him.

  “Sit your ass down, Brennan,” Warren said. Brennan didn’t budge from his spot, that was until he saw Warren pluck the cigarette out of his mouth and press it against Luke’s bare back. Luke’s body jolted, but he didn’t cry. He never cried, and that made Warren mad. Brennan ran to the chair and sat down. “Ready for the show, Brennan?” Warren dropped to his knees and positioned himself behind Luke.

  Brennan and Gabe usually stayed quiet, knowing that nothing they s
aid would make a difference. They had tried begging, pled with their mother to make Warren stop, but she didn’t care. Sometimes she watched, sometimes she would go in the other room and do drugs. One time she fell asleep as if she was bored. Brennan took a deep breath and silently prayed again, asking one last time for God to strike this man dead. After several hopeful seconds, he came to the realization that no one was coming, no one would ever help them. Defeated, he looked at Warren and said, “Fuck you, Warren.” He glanced over his shoulder and stared into his mother’s glassy eyes. “Fuck you both.”

  “Hey, you okay?”

  Brennan’s eyes shot open and he peered up at Anna. She had a mountain of toys in her arms and a dog bed that was large enough for a horse. “Isn’t that a little big?” he said, rising to his feet. He eked out a smile and tried to focus on what was real, not the monster who liked to taunt him in his dreams and sometimes in his waking moments from time to time.

  “You’ve seen Mack. He likes to spread out.” One of the tennis balls she had been holding fell to the floor and began to roll away.

  “He also likes grown-up beds. I’m sure Pete’s going to be the same way and take over my bed in no time. Let’s put the bed back… and buy more toys instead.”

  He snatched the bed from her arms, scooped up the ball that Anna had dropped and was making his way down the aisle when he heard her shout, “You’re going to spoil that dog, aren’t you?”

  He looked over his shoulder, gave her a wink and said, “Absolutely.”

  ***

  Anna

  The first text came two hours into her shift. She stared at it and smiled:

  “Is it normal for your dog to follow you around everywhere you go?”

  She typed out a “yes” and pressed send.

  Seconds later Brennan responded:

  “Even to the bathroom?”

  Anna chuckled. She remembered the first couple weeks after Mack had come to live with her. He had followed her everywhere, even sat at her feet as she went to the bathroom, which was weird, until she looked it up and read why dogs do some of the strange things they do.

  “Yes, completely normal.”

  Anna treated a patient who had come in with a sprained finger and was finalizing the paperwork when her phone buzzed again.

  “I took the night off from work. Pete wasn’t happy when I tried to leave. Could hear him howling as I backed out of the driveway.”

  Brennan was acting like a nervous new father and it was cute as hell.

  “Animated movies always seem to calm Mack down. Try one if you get desperate.”

  Seconds later, Brennan responded:

  “Ok, thanks.”

  Anna finished her shift a few hours later and hurried home. She was tired and starving, as she realized she had missed lunch. She opened her freezer and zeroed in on the chicken soup Brennan had made her when she had been sick. She transferred some of the soup to a saucepan, set it on the stove and hit the shower. When she reemerged, clean and slightly rejuvenated she noticed she had several missed texts from Brennan.

  “You won’t believe this, but he is obsessed with the movie Shrek.”

  Anna laughed and responded:

  “Haven’t watched that one yet. Maybe we’ll have to have a movie night with the boys.”

  She pushed send and instantly wished she could take it back. Because that text sounded so domestic, like they were a couple. She was watching those circles swirl and breaking out into a cold sweat when his text chimed through:

  “This weekend?”

  Okay, this was dangerous. Maybe not for him, but for her, absolutely. It was growing increasingly obvious that she wasn’t going to be able to uphold her end of the bargain. In another life, she would have been able to keep this casual thing going and not get attached. But she was different now and no matter how much she wanted Brennan, she wasn’t going to go back to that lifestyle.

  No? Then why did you fool around with him… multiple times?

  Her phone chirped and she read his text:

  “We can have a Shrek marathon. Just found out that there are three more movies. Pete’s going to lose his mind.”

  Sexy and cute. Such a deadly combination. But not enough of a deterrent for her not to respond:

  “I’ll bring the puppy treats, you provide the grown-up grub.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Anna

  “This is some spread.”

  Anna looked at the array of appetizers on Brennan’s kitchen island. She was anticipating chips and dip, maybe some hot wings, but she should have known that a chef would go big. Stuffed mushrooms with some type of lobster filling, a caprese salad with fresh basil, snow crab legs drizzled in butter. He pulled out a homemade pizza from the oven and laid the stone on top.

  “Playing hooky again from work?”

  “I took the rest of the week off. Someone is a little needy,” he said, gesturing to Pete, who was sitting like a little gentleman at Brennan’s feet. Mack was perched on the other side, in position if it started raining food. “You two are such beggars,” Brennan said, cutting the pizza in even slices. Mack and Pete both cocked their heads and Anna laughed.

  “It’s like they’ve known each other their whole lives,” she said.

  Anna had held her breath as she walked into Brennan’s house with Mack at her side. She wasn’t worried that Mack would become aggressive, but all of this was new to Pete, and as Brennan had mentioned and as Anna had seen over the past half hour, Pete was already attached to his new owner. But after some butt sniffing and circling, Pete seemed to roll with it and accept two strangers onto his turf.

  “Alright, only fair that the boys have an appetizer as well.” Anna walked over and withdrew the white bag she had brought. Inside were two bone-shaped cookies that she had gotten at the dog bakery in town. “Take it nice,” she said. Both dogs sat, their eyes glued to the cookies. She leaned forward and the dogs snatched the cookies out of her hands. “I think they just swallowed them whole.”

  Brennan handed her a slice of the margherita pizza. She blew on it a little and took a bite. “This is what a margherita pizza should taste like,” she said, the flavors bursting in her mouth.

  “Better than the pizza you had on your date with whatshisname?”

  “His name is Jeff.”

  “How is Jeff?”

  “Fine, I guess,” she said with a shrug. “You know what? I bet he is more than fine. It was just announced that a fourth Thor is currently being filmed. He’s probably celebrating at this very moment.”

  “So you haven’t gone out with him again?”

  “No, it was a one and done,” she said. His brow raised and what looked like guilt reflected in his eyes. “Sorry, bad choice of words.”

  “No, I probably deserved that,” he said, placing a stuffed mushroom and a piece of pizza on his plate. She didn’t want this night to be awkward but talking about her dating life wasn’t going to go well.

  “So, where are we watching the movie?” she asked.

  “In my man cave.”

  “You didn’t just say man cave.”

  “I did and you’re going to love it.” She followed him down the hall and entered what looked like a mini movie theater. “I can’t attend my brother’s away games, so this is the next best thing.”

  “We’re never going to leave,” she said, looking around the room. They sat in their own recliners while the dogs settled on a sectional couch. Brennan pressed PLAY and music filled the room, snagging both Pete and Mack’s attention. “They’re mesmerized.”

  “Yep, Pete will be in this trancelike state until the very end.”

  And he was right. Brennan had gotten up a few times to get more food and drinks and Pete didn’t budge from his spot. “I can’t imagine what ‘Game of Thrones’ would look like on this screen.” His smile faded and he placed his empty plate on the table to his right. “Oh, not a fan, I take it?” she asked. He shifted in his seat but kept his eyes on the screen.


  “I watched the first episode… wasn’t my cup of tea.”

  “Yeah, I can understand that. Some of the scenes, even in that first episode are… pretty hard to watch.”

  “Okay, looks like we’re ready for the second one,” he said, grabbing the remote. “Can I get you anything? Otherwise, I was going to put the food away.”

  “No, I’m stuffed, but I’ll come out and help.” They looked over and the dogs were sprawled on the couch and getting antsy as the end credits started to roll. Brennan found Shrek 2 and pressed PLAY. They slipped out undetected, went to the kitchen and placed the food in plastic containers. Brennan offered her a glass of wine. She happily accepted as she hoped it would calm her nerves. “Mind if I use your bathroom?” she asked.

  “Yeah, there’s one right down the hallway.”

  She hurried to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t do this. Keep pretending that she was okay. Anna didn’t know how long she had been in there, hiding, talking to herself, trying to come up with an excuse to leave, one that he would buy.

  Woman issues. Yes, he wouldn’t question that. Men steered clear of that subject. She glanced at herself in the mirror again. What a coward you are.

  Work. She would just say the clinic had called and asked her to come in because they were shorthanded. She nodded at herself and stepped out of the bathroom only to practically bump into Brennan. With a mountain of blankets in his arms, he asked, “Hey, everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I um….”

  Don’t say you got your period. Don’t do it, Anna.

  “It’s a little chilly in the cave. Figured I get some blankets.”

  “I have cramps.” She cringed as she waited for his response.

  “Do you need Advil? My sister swears by it.”