On Her Axis

by Jeanette Lynn

  Dar pulled Jaye down to whisper something into his ear as I started muttering to myself under my breath.

  "Oooohhh. Well, how was I supposed to know he was green?! I don't pay attention to those kinds of things, Mouse! And nobody tells me anything!" Jaye opined, exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air.

  "What are you going to do?" Ponne asked, following me out, Jaye and Neyenn trailing behind.

  "Get to my mate and kill Kertt if he even looks at her funny," I seethed.

  "But the ports are all closed," Ponne reasoned.

  "May I make a suggestion?" Jaye butted in, grinning at me mischievously, his eyes alight with impish intentions.

  I stopped and turned to look, really look at him. Oddly enough, I felt somewhat encouraged by his expression.

  This better be good. "I'm all ears, blue boy," I drawled sarcastically.

  "Great! Here's what we need to do...." Jaye started.

  Stand by your men

  Magenta

  "Hello? Hello? Mother? Can you hear me? Hello!" I yelled into my cell, the static crackling on the other end almost deafening.

  I'd been standing in front of the hotel we were supposed to meet at for two hours, and they still haven't shown up yet. My phone isn't getting any damn reception and I keep getting either static or a busy signal when I try to call out.

  Ugh!

  Plus, something’s going on with Perre, but I don’t know what. I can feel it.

  His emotions are a mass of jumbled up frustration and I can't get a hold of him to make sure he's okay.

  He couldn't be that upset my phone lost connection, could he? And now Marre's got a bad vibe humming towards me too.

  Oh, I hope nothing bad has happened, I worried, chewing on my thumb nail in my anxiety.

  Growling, I glared hatefully at my phone.

  I want to smash the damn thing with a sledgehammer right now, I'm so mad.

  "Stupid phone," I muttered and put it back in my purse.

  Mumbling quiet obscenities to myself under my breath, cursing what I now see as primitive technological device to hell and back, I clutched the handle on my luggage and shifted from foot to foot nervously.

  "Come on, Dad... Mom... what's the hold up?" I muttered aloud as I glanced around. “I am sooo getting a com link after this crap!”

  "Hello, my flower. It's been a while," came Kermit, I mean Kertt's voice from over my shoulder, completely out of frickin’ nowhere.

  Squeaking out a protest to go with my startled gasp, I jumped at the unexpected greeting and whirled around.

  "What are you doing here?!" I exclaimed, not even trying to hide my lack of enthusiasm at running into him.

  "Well, it is my cousin's wedding, after all," he said easily, grinning at me.

  "Your cousin?" What? Why would Mother want me to go to Kertt's....?

  "Oh, my god! She didn't! She didn't!" I stomped my foot, shouting, startling Kertt and all the other guests in the hotel lobby.

  "I'll kill her! I'll dye her hair pink while she's sleeping! Oooh, when I'm done with her she'll..." I ranted, pacing the lobby like a deranged person, my little suitcase's rolling wheels squeaking noisily on the polished floor as I circled back and forth like a mad woman.

  Kertt's eyes were growing wider and wider as I muttered curses and acts of revenge on my mother, using words any seasoned seaman would be proud of.

  "Mags?" Kertt asked hesitantly, reaching out a hand hesitantly to touch my shoulder, but I snarled at him and he pulled it back fast, clutching it to his chest with his other hand protectively.

  "Do you know what I gave up to come here and make her happy? Do you?" I vented, narrowing my eyes and pointing an accusatory digit at him.

  He put his hands up like it was a gun instead of a finger and swallowed hard, "Uhhh... no?"

  “I gave up a weekend of uninhibited monkey sex with the two sexiest males on this planet! Well... not this planet, they obviously aren't here, but okay! You get my point!"

  "Uhhh... flower?" Kertt asked uneasily, "he, uh, he... your man, um, he has a twin?"

  "Yes, why?" I demanded huffily, confused.

  Where is his brain? Can't he even keep up with a simple conversation here? Is that the only part he heard?

  I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.

  "What's wrong with having two males? You got a problem with it, Kertty boy?" I sniped sarcastically, taking a step towards him.

  Of which he immediately backed up, eyes round and getting as big as saucers as he stared, spluttering as he tried to speak, but I was beyond irritated with my mother, with my weekend, with him, with everything, to care what he was trying to say.

  Kertt shook his head vehemently 'no' and pointed at something off to the side.

  I ignored him and continued my tirade.

  I'm angry, tired and beyond horny right now, and I'm on a roll! Kertt's just going to have to deal with it!

  Whatever he wants me to see will just have to wait ‘til I'm done.

  "I'll have you know they're better than ten of any other male out there! And I wouldn't trade them for anything! They're caring, sweet, thoughtful!" I ticked off on my fingers, “erm, well... Perre can be an asshole..." I back tracked a little, "but he's my asshole!" I shouted, then screamed at the top of my lungs when someone came up behind me and flung me around, enveloping me in four strong arms as he crushed me to him, gripping my ass firmly as he hauled me up his chest and mauled my mouth.

  "I love you, I love you," Perre murmured against my lips between kisses, his hands everywhere as he whispered sweet endearments and groped me inappropriately in the middle of a hotel lobby.

  Of course, I groped him and mauled him back just as eagerly.

  "What are you doing here?" I breathed, delighted to see one half of my man candy.

  Mmmm. Man candy.

  Yum!

  "Your mother said you were running off to marry Kertt," he said and gave Kertt a look so black even I would have shrunk back from him.

  Kertt put his hands up protectively in front of him. "Hey, look... obviously you two, erm, three... are more involved than Constance led me to believe and I...”

  "Kertt! Kertt Herman Vaughn! You little weasel!" a beautiful, blonde rubinesque woman yelled with a sweet southern accent as she rushed up to us, toting a giant sized purse over her shoulder.

  The flowery blue thing looked like it could carry everything and the kitchen sink in it. It took up most of her shoulder.

  "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put you over my knee and blister your ass?!" she ranted as she shook her finger at him wildly, giving him a stern, motherly glare.

  "Mommy! Everyone can hear you! Would you quiet down, please!" Kertt cried out desperately, looking around to make sure no one had noticed.

  Mommy? I thought and a little giggle escaped. Oh, boy!

  "Oh," his 'mommy' said, deflating, her shoulders slumping suddenly as her eyes got misty with unshed tears.

  "Is that all I am to you, Hermie? An embarrassment?" she asked, sniffling, searching in her purse for a tissue.

  ‘Hermie?’ Perre mouthed and I put my hand over his and hushed him.

  He grinned under my palm and licked it, sending shivers up my spine and straight to my pussy as he pulled me a little closer and gave my rump a good squeeze.

  "Don't do anything stupid!" Marre shouted as he ran up to us. He was so out of breath by the time he reached us, and had to put his hands on his knees and pant for a minute.

  Jaye and Darlah, Neyenn and Molilah, and Ponne and Tawn came rushing behind. Darlah's father Joseph, in his pilot’s suit, was bringing up the rear.

  "Don't who do anything stupid?" I frowned at Marre, hoping for his sake he wasn't talking about me.

  Marre straightened to his full height and pointed at Perre.

  "Him. Never you, goddess, never you," he explained breathlessly, stilling trying to get himself in check, coming up behind me to nuzzle my neck and place sweet hungry kisses up and down my exposed s
kin.

  "G-rated people! G-rated," Jaye complained, pointing at Darlah like 'Can you believe them?'

  "Says the male who jumped Dar's bones in my bathroom at my barbeque," Mol snorted sardonically.

  "But we weren't!" Dar insisted, pushing her glasses back up onto her pert little nose.

  Jaye just grinned and wrapped a proprietary arm around his wife as she blushed.

  "You’re just like your father," Kertt's mother wailed, breaking in on our little reunion, leaving Kertt standing there uncomfortably, rubbing his neck awkwardly as she kept rummaging through her purse for tissue as tears tracked down her cheeks.

  "You were going to try and run off with a mated woman!" she hiccupped and Kertt's jaw slackened.

  "Mated! Mommy, I swear I didn't know she was mated!" Kertt pleaded, shocked when his mother put a hand up when he went to comfort her.

  "Don't," she told him sternly, shaking her head, “Just... don’t.”

  "But, Mom..."

  "Excuse me for a moment, please," she whispered hoarsely, glancing around, mortified at her audience, then hurried away through the front doors.

  "Oh, we should go check on her," Mol murmured sympathetically as she started to follow her.

  "She's my mother! I should go!" Kertt cut in worriedly.

  "No, son," Joseph said, clapping him on the back, "I think you've done enough. She needs a moment. Leave her be." Sweet old Joe looked at Mol and waved at her to stay. "I'll keep an eye on her, you all stay right here. She'll be fine."

  He smiled reassuringly and followed where we'd seen Karen take her leave, disappearing quickly to catch up.

  "You thought I would leave you for him?" I huffed and frowned at both of them.

  "Hey!" Kertt started, but shut it when he got two twin glares.

  He withered slightly under their dark, accusing scowls.

  "We weren't about to leave you here by yourself for him to try," Marre stated diplomatically and nabbed me out of Perre's arms.

  I didn't miss the grateful expression on Perre's face as he handed me over to his twin.

  "Didn't you hear me, demon lord?" I smacked Perre’s chest as I wrapped an arm around his neck to pull him back to me. "It's like I told Kertt, you’re my asshole." I grinned at him and pulled him back in for another lip smacking, scorching kiss.

  "Hey, what about me?" Marre demanded.

  I released a dazed Perre to wrap my arms around Marre.

  "You, sir, are, and always will be, my knight in shining armor," I purred and nipped his chin.

  We were all a little off balance and tipsy with lightheadedness when I’d finished making out with my giant, pink Cardanian hunks.

  I pulled back, still cradled comfortable in Marre’s arms, studying them shrewdly. I hummed loudly in the back of my throat, almost a happy purr, as a thought occurred to me, and then I smiled, a huge, winning smile, drawing both of their attention back to me.

  "How do you guys feel about an island wedding?" I asked impishly as I nudged my head in the direction of the wedding chapel the island employees had all been boasting about at the concierge desk, right off to the side of it. "A little wedding... a lot of sand,” I shimmied my shoulders a little, my smile getting wider, a wicked tilt lighting it, “tons of sex," I whispered throatily, trailing off.

  "Really?" Perre asked interestedly, cocking a naked brow in my direction.

  "Right now?" Marre put in excitedly, grinning a roguish, delighted grin.

  "Mmmm...hmm...” I smiled, giving a determined little wink in their direction. This is so happening.

  "Woo-hoo!" Molilah crowed, Tawn and Darlah joining in too.

  "I'll com link Mama and see if she wouldn't mind watching all the kids for the weekend," Neyenn put in as he headed for the front desk.

  "We can stay long enough for the wedding," Tawn added, clapping happily.

  "Why not the weekend, wife?" Ponne winked. "We've been talking about baby number two, why not start now?" he half joked, chuckling as Tawn's blue skin blushed purple.

  "I'm such an idiot," I scoffed, smacking my forehead, "I didn't even think to try the concierge desk when my phone didn't work!"

  "It all worked out in the end, princess, don't you think?" Perre winked.

  "Yes, it did! Now hurry the hell up, people! I'm getting hitched!" I cried impatiently as I squirmed out of Marre's arms and dragged them towards the chapel.

  "Bossy little thing, isn't she?" Marre mock whispered, pretending to be annoyed with my antics.

  "Yeah," Perre grinned, "but she looks so cute when she does it. Like a rabid, uh, what do you call those things...?” He snapped his fingers suddenly, “Oh, yeah, a bunny."

  "I heard that!"

  Their laughter echoed throughout the chapel as we pledged ourselves to each other, and my heart danced with joy.

  Epilogue

  "Aaaaaah!" We shrieked as we all held hands and bounced up and down like morons.

  "This is so exciting!" Dar squeaked out happily.

  "I can't believe we're all pregnant!" Mol grinned, the last one to confirm her pregnancy for sure.

  "Our kids are all going to grow up with each other! Soo Awesome," Tawn gushed as she started tearing up. "Oh, I'm such a watering pot. Hormones, you know," she sniffled, and we all sympathized.

  "Have you decided on a theme yet for the nursery?" Pearlelenne asked as she smiled fondly at my slightly rounded baby bump and then grabbed Tawn and me up in a hug. "I'm going to be a grandma again! This is so exciting!" she cried out happily.

  Tawn and I smiled at each other from over her shoulder while she gave us, what I like to call, ‘the death squeeze’.

  ˜˙˜˙˜˙˜

  The males, meanwhile, were having a little conversation of their own...

  "I should totally get a medal," Jaye bragged, and Neyenn rolled his eyes at him.

  "What? I knocked her up on the first try, I know I did! I'm a straight shooter," Jaye went on, making his fingers into guns and pretending to take aim, with sound effects and everything.

  "If anyone should get a medal, it should be this guy right here," Ponne chuckled, gesturing towards Neyenn with his drink.

  "Nah, Mol, deserves it," he argued, shaking his head, "For putting up with my shit, birthing all of those beautiful babes, and not attempting to castrate me. Yet." He put special emphasis on the 'yet'.

  They all toasted to that and the conversation resumed.

  The women let out another ear piercing burst of happy shrieks and they all cringed.

  "They sound like the howling monkeys we saw at the zoo." Perre snorted, smirking at his own joke.

  "Hey! Nobody calls my womins a monkey!" Little Darren glared and then punched Perre in the testicles.

  "Oh, fuuuu, uhm, fuuuudddgge," Perre choked out, saving himself from a slaughtering from the women for cursing in front of a child.

  He coughed a little, like he might vomit, and bent over at the waist, cupping his balls as he hacked up a lung.

  "Darren Harvick! You come over here and apologize right this minute!" Jaye shouted through stilted laughter.

  "Never! I deflendered their homer!" little Darey swore as he climbed a tree to evade his father.

  "I think he means he defended their honor," Marre translated helpfully, smothering his laughter.

  A girlish, high pitched scream echoed through the backyard, catching everyone’s attention, and Joey came running out with a snarling Pudge the dog in his arms.

  Pudge's fat little sausage legs were peddling along with Joey, barking and growling at Exinn as he screamed again and tried to evade the un-gruesome little twosome.

  "Wow, what a freakin’ pussy." Marre whistled low as he watched the show.

  "I say we revoke his man card for that one," Ponne agreed, nodding his head as he grinned at Joey, giving him a thumbs up when the women weren't looking.

  "Come on, Wexin! He just wants to lllloooovvveee you," Joey crooned, his tone belying the gleam in his eyes and the trouble making grin on his face.


  "Demon beast! Keep it away!" Exinn pleaded as he ran around the backyard to avoid Nona's un-menacing little terrier.

  A surge of water hit Joey and he slipped and shouted as he flopped on his butt, landing in the now wet dirt from the hose little Ophelia had turned on him.

  "Nobody messes with my Daddy," she snarled, lips pulled back, flashing a row of little pearly white teeth, her little pig tails and cotton candy pink dress a total contrast to the menace lacing her sweet little voice as she pointed the hose at a spluttering Joey.

  "I love family gatherings!" Nona cried out happily as she hurried over to Joey and Pudge with two big fluffy towels, careful not to get mud on her lime green dress and lemon colored heels.

  "Reminds me of Neyenn and Jaye when they were little," Muna sniffed as Kenvey, her husband, pulled her a little closer.

  "You know," he whispered into Muna's ear, "we aren't that old, we could always have another one... or two... maybe three," he murmured huskily, smiling as she blushed and tittered, still as beautiful as the day they'd met.

  "Oh, hush, you!" she admonished, "I don't even know if we could conceive again.” Her smile slipped a little, looking suddenly unsure for a moment.

  "We could live dangerously and try..." He grinned lecherously, chuckling that cute, sexy chuckle that got her every time, but she knew he was only teasing about the whole baby thing.

  "What are you guys talking about?" Jaye asked suspiciously, a reluctant Darren on his shoulder as he carried him around like a sack of potatoes.

  "Let me down!" Darey cried, "Gramma, help! He's cwazy!"

  "Your Daddy was thinking about having another baby and I was considering it," Muna admitted thoughtfully.

  Kenvey spit out his drink, spraying Jaye in the face at his wife's bold statement.

  "A baby?! But you're so... so... so..." Jaye spluttered, wiping his face.

  "Old!" Darey supplied for Jaye from over his shoulder.

  "You aren't serious, are you, my pet?" Kenvey grumbled seriously, searching his wife's eyes for any sign of discontentment. He cleared his throat uncomfortably at her carefully blanked stare. "We can't have a naked room if we have another baby..." he whispered anxiously in her ear.