Full text of Memoirs of Emma, lady Hamilton, the friend of Lord Nelson and the court of Naples;

by Yelena Kopylova

  depend on your goodness. . . . May the Heavens bless

  and preserve my dearest friend and give her every com-

  fort this world can afford, is the sincerest prayer of

  your faithful and affectionate Nelson and Bronte."

  Nelson is all prayer and piety for Emma. It is one

  of the most singular features of his erratic greatness

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 345

  that he lays her, the coming child, and himself as hum-

  ble and acceptable offerings before God's throne. His

  sincerity resembles in another plane that of Carlyle,

  who, in some of his epistles to his mother, translated

  his own earnest free-thought into terms of the Scotch

  Covenanter. But at the same time the reader is often

  tempted to echo what the same Carlyle objected to in

  French eighteenth-century sentimentalism : " So much talk about Virtue. In the devil and his grandmother's

  name, be Virtuous then ! "

  Every night Nelson withdrew after the day's

  fatigues, and amid incessant occupations, to hint (when

  he feared to pour forth) his torture of anxiety and

  passionate fulness of unbounded affection. He bade

  her be of good cheer. He assured " Mr. Thomson "

  of her " innate worth and affectionate disposition."

  But during these weary days of waiting, a full month

  before Oliver had been chosen to convey his famous

  and self-convicting letter, he must have disclosed his

  inmost soul to its idol through him, or perhaps through

  Davison, who at this very time had travelled over two

  hundred miles to pay him a visit. Another letter of

  far less reserve, and one never, so far as I know,

  cited, exists in relation to the coming birth of the

  second child the little Emma who died so soon in

  the earlier months of 1804. It is so remarkable, and

  probably so identical with others which he must have

  written on this earlier occasion, that I subjoin a por-

  tion of it here, venturing to fill in some of the ex-

  cisions :

  " MY DEAREST BELOVED, . . . To say that I think

  of you by day, night, and all day, and all night, but

  too faintly expresses my feelings of love and affection

  towards you. [Mine is indeed an] unbounded af-

  fection. Our dear, excellent, good [Mrs. Cadogan]

  346 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  is the only one who knows anything of the matter; and

  she has promised me when you [are well] again to

  take every possible care of you, as a proof of her

  never-failing regard to your own dear Nelson. Be-

  lieve me that I am incapable of wronging you in

  thought, word, or deed. No; not all the wealth of

  Peru could buy me for one moment; it is all yours

  and reserved wholly for you. And . . . certainly

  . . . from the first moment of our happy, dear, en-

  chanting, blessed meeting. . . . The call of our coun-

  try is a duty which you would deservedly, in the cool

  moments of reflection, reprobate, was I to abandon :

  and I should feel so disgraced by seeing you ashamed

  of me ! No longer saying, ' This is the man who has

  saved his country! This is he, who is the first to go

  forth to fight our battles, and the last to return ! '

  . . . 'Ah!' they will think, 'What a man! What

  sacrifices has he not made to secure our homes and

  property; even the society and happy union with the

  finest and most accomplished woman in the world.'

  As you love, how must you feel! My heart is with

  you, cherish it. I shall, my best beloved, return if it

  pleases God a victor; and it shall be my study to

  transmit an unsullied name. There is no desire of

  wealth, no ambition that could keep me from all my

  soul holds dear. No ; it is to save my country, my wife

  in the eye of God. ... Only think of our happy meet-

  ing. Ever, for ever I am your's, only your's, even

  beyond this world. . . . For ever, for ever, your own

  Nelson." 1

  Emma certainly inspired the Nelson who delivered

  England; and for all time this surely ought to out-

  weigh the carping diatribes of half-moralists who nar-

  row the whole of virtue to a part. It cannot be too

  much emphasised that Nelson loved her and not merely

  1 Nelson Letters, vol. i. p. 175, "August 26 [1803]."

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON '347

  her enhancements. " Thank God," he wrote at the beginning of February, " you want not the society of

  princes or dukes. If you happened to fall down and

  break your nose or knock out your eyes, you might go

  to the devil for what they care, but it is your good

  heart that attaches to you, your faithful and affec-

  tionate Nelson." x

  About January 29, in a week of storm, Horatia was

  born. Within the week Emma, unattended, had

  taken the baby by night in a hackney coach to the

  nurse, Mrs. Gibson, of Little Titchfield Street. Within

  a fortnight, " thinner . . . but handsomer than ever,"

  she could play hostess at her husband's table; in three

  weeks she was importuned by, though she refused to

  entertain, royalty. From first to last, she wrote daily

  to Nelson, and she was active in concealment. Her

  force of will and endurance at this juncture pass com-

  prehension. She behaved as if nothing had happened,

  though she must seriously have deranged her health.

  " I believe," wrote the transported father so soon as her glad tidings reached him, " I believe dear Mrs.

  Thomson's friend will go mad with joy. He cries,

  prays, and performs all tricks, yet dares not show all

  or any of his feelings, but he has only me to consult

  with. He swears he will drink your health this day

  in a bumper, and damn me if I don't join him in spite

  of all the doctors in Europe, for none regard you with

  truer affection than myself. You are a dear good

  creature, and your kindness and attention to poor Mrs.

  T. stamps you higher than ever in my mind. I can-

  not write, I am so agitated by this young man at my

  elbow. I believe he is foolish, he does nothing but

  rave about you and her. I own I participate in his joy

  and cannot write anything."

  It is noteworthy that the eccentric demeanour of

  1 Letter of February i, 1801.

  348 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  " dear Mrs. Thomson's friend " accords with what was evidently a trait in the Nelson family; for Sir William, describing to Nelson the joy of his brother " the reverend doctor," on hearing the first intelligence of Copenhagen while dining with him in Piccadilly, says :

  " Your brother was more extraordinary than ever. He would get up suddenly and cut a caper; rubbing his

  hands every time that the thought of your fresh

  laurels came into his head."

  The day after the " young man " at Nelson's elbow had been thus disporting himself, Nelson again

  addressed Lady Hamilton. He had cut out two lines

  from her letter with which, he declares, he will never

  part. He had exceeded his promise of the clay before,

  and had drained two bumpers to the health of Mrs.

  Thomson and her child in the company of Troubridge,

 
Hardy, Parker, and his brother, till the latter said he

  would " hurt " himself : " that friend of our dear Mrs.

  T. is a good soul and full of feeling," he wrote ; " he wishes much to see her and her little one. If possible

  I will get him leave for two or three days when I go

  to Portsmouth, and you will see his gratitude to you."

  Next morning he communicates with her indirectly as

  " Mrs. Thomson." Her " good and dear friend does not think it proper at present to write with his own

  hand," but he " hopes the day may not be far distant when he may be united for ever to the object of his

  wishes, his only, only love. He swears before heaven

  that he will marry her as soon as possible, which he

  fervently prays may be soon. Nelson is charged " to say how dear you are to him, and that you must [at]

  every opportunity kiss and bless for him his dear little girl, which he wishes to be called Emma, out of gratitude to our dear, good Lady Hamilton, but in either

  [case?] its [name?], [whether?] from Lord N., he

  says, or Lady H., he leaves to your judgment and

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 349

  choice." He has " given poor Thomson a hundred pounds this morning for which he will give Lady H.

  an order on his agents " ; and he begs her to " dis-tribute it amongst those who have been useful to you on

  the late occasion; and your friend, my dear Mrs.

  Thomson," he adds, " may be sure of my care of him and his interest, which I consider as dearly as my

  own. . . ."

  But perhaps the least guarded of this long series is

  a fragment to be found in the old volume of Nelson

  Letters, though Pettigrew's transcripts and the Morri-

  son- original do not comprise it. It bears date Febru-

  ary 16. " I sit down, my dear Mrs. T.," it runs, " by desire of poor Thomson, to write you a line : not to

  assure you of his eternal love and affection for you

  and his dear child, but only to say that he is well and

  as happy as he can be, separated from all which he

  holds dear in this world. He has no thoughts sep-

  arated from your love and your interest. They are

  united with his; one fate, one destiny, he assures me,

  awaits you both. What can I say more? Only to

  kiss his child for him : and love him as truly, sincerely, and faithfully as he does you; which is from the bottom of his soul. He desires that you will more and

  more attach yourself to dear Lady Hamilton." Only

  a week earlier he had addressed to her that stirring

  passage which told her that it was she who urged him

  forth to glory, that he had been the whole world

  round, and had never yet seen " her equal, or even one who could be put in comparison."

  Every night he and his " band of brothers " continue to raise the glass to the toast of Emma. Letter

  succeeds to letter, affection to impatience, and impa-

  tience to ecstasy. He makes a new will, bequeathing

  her, besides other jewelled presentations, the portrait

  which Maria Carolina had given him of herself at part-

  350 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  ing; charging, too, in her favour the rental of Bronte,

  but on this occasion only in the case of the failure of its male heirs; creating, above all, a trust for the child, of whom " Emma Hamilton alone knows the parents," of whom too she is besought to act as guardian, and by

  her honour and integrity to " shield it from want and disgrace." He would " steal white bread rather than that the child should want." He and she are to be

  and be known as godparents of an infant in whom they

  take a " very particular interest," and he especially requests that it may be brought up as " the child of her dear friend Nelson and Bronte." He discusses the

  name; Emma had evidently begged that it might be his,

  nor hers as originally proposed. Let it be christened

  " Horatia " and be registered, anagramatically, as

  " daughter of Johem and Morata Etnorb." 1 As for the date of baptism, he leaves it entirely to his Emma's discretion, but, on the whole, after some hesitation

  he favours its postponement, since a clergyman might

  ask inconvenient questions. He rejoices to hear that

  the baby is handsome, for then it must be like his dear

  " Lady Hamilton," between whom and Mrs. Thomson there is said to be a striking resemblance. After all,

  there is no immediate hurry to settle these trifles. He

  must soon rejoin her, if only for a day. Till March

  he would still be kept off the English coasts, near and

  yet far from Emma ; he chafes at a division uncaused

  by duty or by distance. He will run up so soon as

  " Mr. Thomson " can get leave, and propitiate that watch-dragon, Troubridge.

  Emma's correspondence with Mrs. William Nelson

  from the latter end of February shows how and when

  he appeared in London. But before he hastened to

  her side, a curious and undetailed episode, mixing a

  drop of bitter disquiet with his draught of rapture, will

  **'. e. Horatio and Emma Bronte.

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 351

  be followed with interest. It exhibits Emma's con-

  stancy and fortitude under a temptation which sur-

  prised her, and anguished her fretting lover. Her

  firmness in overcoming it and, with it, his jealousy,

  riveted him, if possible, more closely than ever. It

  pervades every one of Nelson's letters, from the Febru-

  ary of this year to the end of March, and many long

  afterwards.

  While, strained and nervous beyond measure, she

  now awaited Horatia's birth, she was annoyed and

  alarmed, though probably flattered also, by a message

  from the Prince of Wales eager to bridge over the

  dull interval till Parliament might pronounce his father imbecile and himself Regent. He politely commanded

  Sir William to invite him to dinner on a Sunday even-

  ing. It was his desire to hear Lady Hamilton sing,

  together with La Banti, who was now in London,

  and whose son Nelson actually placed in the navy

  together with Emma's cousin, Charles Connor. Sir

  William was anxious to obtain from the Government

  not only his full pension, but also a liberal reward

  for the heavy losses which Jacobinism had inflicted on

  his property. Moreover, he hoped, though in vain, for

  a new appointment the governorship of Malta. The

  Prince's aid was all-important for the ex-Ambassador.

  He had been more than civil during the short visit of

  1791, when he had commissioned portraits of the fair

  Ambassadress ; and, though an ill-natured world might

  put the worst construction on his presence in Picca-

  dilly, Sir William trusted to Emma's prudence and his

  own interest. 1 The fiery Nelson, however, infuriated,

  1 Cf . his letter to Nelson of Feb. n, Nelson Letters, vol. ii.

  p. 200. "... She has got one of her terrible sick headaches.

  Among other things that vex her is that we have been drawn in to be under the absolute necessity of giving a dinner to the P. of Wales on Sunday next. He asked it himself, having

  expressed a strong desire of hearing Banti's and Emma's voices 352 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  even demented, at the bare suspicion, ascribed the

  whole manoeuvre to the bad offices and influence of

  Lady Abercorn, Mrs. Walpole, and a " Mrs. Nisbet,"

  who had been heard public
ly to assert that Lady Ham-

  ilton had " hit " the Prince's " fancy." Sir William, however, was now once more under Greville's thumb,

  and it is likely that the mild Mephistopheles of King's

  Mews had his finger in this pie. At a moment so awk-

  ward, Emma certainly disbelieved that her husband

  ever did more than countenance the affair. She was

  proud of her talent, and pleased at the sensation it

  created in the Duke of Queensberry's circle. But the

  attentions of such a charmer as the First Gentleman in

  Europe were doubtless of design; and she was on her

  guard at the outset, though in after years she cultivated the new friendship of the Prince, together with the

  long-standing one of his admiring brothers. Her child

  had half-hallowed in her eyes the sin that sacrifice had endeared, and she resented the buzz of the scandal-mongers. She welcomed, indeed invited, Nelson's

  plan of bringing up his sister-in-law to the rescue.

  Sir William's intention that the royal visit should be

  en famille, and its projected secrecy, worked up Nel-

  son's feelings to their highest pitch: better by far, if it had to be, a big reception. In the end, however, no

  party took place, still less was there any eclat. The

  Prince was baffled, despite Sir William. Emma

  together. I am well aware of the dangers, etc. ... As this dinner must be, or he would be offended, I shall keep strictly to the musical part, invite only Banti, her husband, and Taylor; and as I wish to show a civility to Davison, I have sent him an invitation. In short, we will get rid of it as well as we can, and guard against its producing more meetings of the same sort. Emma would really have gone any lengths to have avoided Sunday's dinner. But / thought it would not be prudent to break with the P. of Wales, etc. ... I have been thus explicit as I know well your Lordship's way of thinking, and your very kind attachment to us and to everything that concerns us."

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 353

  showed that she could renounce vanity for love, and

  that she dared to rebuff importunity in high places.

  Nelson's mountain brought forth a mouse, nor did he

  ever cease to commemorate his appreciation of Emma's

  firmness " firm as a rock/' he said of his trust in her afterwards.

  Nelson was really on the rack. His distracted let-

  ters of more than a fortnight until his apprehensions

  of the main danger had been calmed present a strik-

  ing self-revelation, and are doubly interesting because

  Emma's own letters to Mrs. William Nelson supple-