362 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON
Lothian's; Tom Tit, at the same place [Brighton].
The Cub x is to have a frigate, the Thalia. I suppose
HE will be up in a day or so. I only hope he does not
come near me. If he does, not at home shall be the
answer. I am glad he is going. . . . Milord has only
Allen with him. We supped and talked politics till 2.
Mr. East [Este?] who is a pleasant man, was with us.
. . . Oh, my dearest friend, our dear Lord is just
come in. He goes off to-night and sails imediately.
My heart is fit to Burst quite with greef. Oh, what
pain, God only knows. I can only say may the All-
mighty God bless, prosper, and protect him! I shall
go mad with grief. Oh, God only knows what it is to
part with such a friend, such a one. We were truly
called the Tria juncta in uno, for Sir W., he, and I
have but one heart in three bodies. . . . He, our great
Nelson, sends his love to you. . . . My greif will not
let me say more. Heavens bless you, answer your af-
flicted E. H,"
From Yarmouth, after a brief spell of final prepara-
tion, Nelson sailed for the double feat of annihilating
the Northern Confederation single-handed, and nego-
tiating with a mastery both of men and management
the truce that preceded the Peace of Amiens. Copen-
hagen was now the key of the situation, as it was to
prove six years later, when Canning saved Europe
from the ruin of Austerlitz and the ignominy of Tilsit
by that secret expedition which would have glad-
dened Nelson, had he been alive. As victor and peace-
maker he was now to stand forth supreme. ' Time
is our best ally," he wrote to Lord St. Vincent a few days later, when the wind caused a week's delay in
the start of the refitted ships. " I hope we shall not give her up, as all our allies have given us up. Our
1 Nelson's stepson Josiah Nisbet.
EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 363
friend here is a little nervous about dark nights and
fields of ice, but we must brace up; these are not times for nervous systems. I want peace, which is only to be
had through, I trust, our still invincible navy " ; and, just before sailing, he made a declaration to Berry
that no Briton should ever forget: ". . . As to the plan for pointing a gun truer than we do at present, if
the person comes, I shall of course look at it, and be
happy, if necessary, to use it. But I hope that we
shall be able, as usual, to get so close to our enemies, that our shots cannot miss their object, and that we
shall again give our northern enemies that hailstorm
of bullets which is so emphatically described in the
Naval Chronicle, and which gives our dear country the
dominion of the seas. We have it, and all the devils
in, hell cannot take it from us, if our wooden walls have fair play." On the verge of battle he indited three lines meant for Emma's eyes alone : " He has no fear of death but parting from you."
Emma resumed her disconsolate epistles both to
him and, until her return, to Mrs. William Nelson.
The first can only be inferred from his most vehe-
ment answers, while of the second a few scraps may
find appropriate place.
With a single exception she had withheld nothing
from Nelson; their communion was unreserved. But
of " Emma Carew," that " orphan," now a girl of nineteen, for whom she was still caring, who was soon
to be put under the alternate charge of Mrs. Denis and
of Mrs. Connor, and who was frequently to see her
undisclosed mother at Merton, she seems to have kept
silence. On the first day of March Nelson addressed
to the " friend of his bosom " that most remarkable letter opening " Now, my own dear wife," which has become so hackneyed. He at last found a full vent
for his feelings, for Oliver was the bearer of the paper.
364 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON
There was nothing, he said, that he would not do for
them to live together, and to have their dear little child with them. He firmly believed that the imminent campaign would ensure peace, and then who knew?
they might cross the water and live in avowed part-
nership at Bronte. He wanted to see his wife no
more, but until he could quit the country with Emma
(and before that possibility England must be safe-
guarded), there could be no open union. After en-
suring a " glorious issue," he would return with " a little more fame " for his Emma, proud of him and
their country. " I never did love any one else," he continues ; " I never had a dear pledge of love till you gave me one, and you, thank my God, never gave one
to anybody else. . . . You, my beloved Emma, and
my country are the two dearest objects of my fond
heart, a heart susceptible and true. Only place confi-
dence in me and you never shall be disappointed." He is now convinced of his dominion over her. He protests
in the most passionate phrases his longing and his con-
stancy. He is hers all, only, and always. " My heart, body, and mind l is in perfect union of love towards
my own dear beloved " his matchless, his flawless
Emma.
Yet a living proof of flaw lurked in oblivion. We
have heard Emma in 1798 sighing over her married
childlessness. Horatia, Nelson's Horatia, was at
length hers. Horatia's name and influence tinge his
every tone; he even writes to the babe-in-arms, the
child of his own heart. As Horatia's mother, Emma
seems holy in his eyes. Every letter that he kisses
before he sends it, is sealed with her head; each of
hers with " Nelson " and " The Nile," with his glori-1 It is worthy of notice that he omits " soul." In a much later letter to her he says that his being is hers entirely, but that his
" soul " is his Creator's.
EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 365
ous emblem " Honor est a Nilo." Was it now possible, at this longed-for moment, to reveal the dark
error of her day's clouded opening? She had been
but seventeen when that other daughter, watched, be-
friended, but never acknowledged, had been born. The
foundling's disavowal had been wholly the work and
craft of Greville, once so " good," so " tender " to her and the offspring that he snatched away from her
girl's embrace. Was this the moment, she might well
plead with the Pharisees, for withdrawing the veil that
hid Horatia's half-sister from Nelson? She remained
a " Protestant of the flesh " a born pagan. As pagan she would be true in trial. She would do her
duty as she knew it, and act her double part of nurse
and wife. She would be generous and warm-hearted.
But such surrender! Was it in human, in feminine
nature? Had she been the born " saint " of Nelson's canonisation, she would have done so now. Pale and
weeping, she would have humbled herself and placed
that daughter by her side as some token of atonement.
How the scribes of the long robe, like Greville, would
have sneered, how Hamilton would have smiled ! And
Hamilton's name poor, fading Hamilton's must
surely have struck some chord in her better self. Who
was she, w r hat manner of man was Nelson, to make or
exact such sacrifice ! Although
Sir William's own re-
cent weakness had endangered her, and belittled him
before Nelson, they still esteemed him formed to--
gether, indeed, his right hand. And yet, whether
Greville and he had guessed the truth or not, to him
they were half traitors an ugly word for an ugly
fact ; for what had Caracciolo been but a traitor ! This was a moment when self -illusions might have vanished, and Nelson's Roman virtue might have list-
ened to the stern rebuke to David " Thou art the
man." Yet, contrasted with the lax crew of Carlton
366 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON
House and many at St. James's, Nelson and she were
all but virtuous, virtuous sinners. Would her sin,
then, ever find her out ? Was this the time to bare her
conscience to the world ?
And during that brief London visit they had surely
both seen the child, as they must have often done in
the two succeeding years. Their visits suggest a strik-
ing picture, the spare, weather-beaten man in the
plain black suit, with the firm yet morbid mouth; the
beautiful woman longing to call aloud to her baby;
the little, homely room; Nurse Gibson with her house-
keeper air, furtively wondering why the great Lord
Nelson and the Ambassador's lady were so much con-
cerned in this work-a-day world, with the mysterious
child of " Mr. and Mrs. Thomson."
The very day that Emma received Nelson's con-
fession of faith in her, she took up her pen once more
to his sister-in-law:
" My dearest friend, anxiety and heart-bleedings for your dear brother's departure has made me so ill, I
have not been able to write. I cannot eat or sleep.
Oh, may God prosper and bless him. He has wrote
to Lord Eldon for Mr. Nelson. You will have him
at Yarmouth in two days. Oh, how I envy you ! Oh
God, how happy you are ! . . . My spirits and health
is bad endeed. . . . Tom Tit is at Brighton. She did
not come, nor did he go. Jove, for such he is quite
a Jove knows better than that. Morrice means to
go to Yarmouth. The Cub dined with us, but I never
asked how Tom Tit was. . . . How I long to see you;
do try and come, for God's sake do." And a like
burden pervades the notes of days following: she is
" so very low-spirited and ill " since " the best and greatest man alive went away." She has " no spirit to do anything." She prays Mrs. Nelson of her charity
to come. They can then " walk and talk, and be so
EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 367
happy together." She can hear " all the news of my Hero." She has bought Charlotte presents, and will
take them to her. The King is better, and Tom Tit is
in the country. She sends every message to " little Horatio." She had been ill all night, and cannot even take the morning air. For the second time, " Calypso ne pouvait se consoler du depart d'Ulysse."
Nelson had asked, Emma had hoped, that she and
Sir William (for Nelson would never see her without
her husband) might run down to Yarmouth, and bid
him and the St. George farewell. But " his eternally obliged " Sir William (possibly warned by Greville) declined with civil thanks. He was dedicating every
moment to art. Some of his choicest vases, to his
great joy, had turned up from the wreck. Pending the
dubious bounty of the Government, he was preparing
to sell these and his pictures by auction. Among the
latter were three portraits of his wife. Nelson was
furious at Emma being thus for the second time " on sale." He bought the St. Cecilia, as has been recounted earlier, for 300, and enshrined it as a true
" saint " in his cabin : had it cost " 300 drops of blood,"
he would " have given it with pleasure." And almost up to the date of departure, renewed uneasiness about
the loose set that Sir William now encouraged harassed
him. Should she ever find herself in extremities, she
must summon him back, and he would fly to her de-
liverance. It was at this moment that in once more
revising his will, he bequeathed to her a diamond
star.
It is strange that the virtuously indignant Miss
Knight's pen should have been employed in celebrating
the loves of Nelson and Lady Hamilton ; yet such had
been the case. Nelson retained them until the great
battle was over, when he enclosed them in a letter to
Emma :
368 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON
"L'lNFELiCE EMMA AI VENTI."
"Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
To Love and Emma kind !
Ah ! come ! more grateful far
Than perfumed zephyrs are.
Blow, blow, and on thy welcome wing
My Life, my Love, my Hero bring.
Blest, blest the compass be
Which steers my love to me!
And blest the happy gale
Which fills his homeward sail;
And blest the boat, and blest each oar
Which rows my True Lo've back to shore."
And " blest," one might add, this maudlin trash.
Robuster, at any rate, than these, surely, is the mediocre set that Emma composed for her hero in the same
month.
" Silent grief, and sad forebodings
, (Lest I ne'er should see him more),
Fill my heart when gallant Nelson
Hoists Blue Peter at the fore.
On his Pendant anxious gazing,
Filled with tears mine eyes run o'er;
At each change of wind I tremble
While Blue Peter's at the fore.
All the livelong day I wander,
Sighing on the sea-beat shore,
But my sighs are all unheeded,
When Blue Peter's at the fore.
Oh that I might with my Nelson
Sail the whole world o'er and o'er,
Never should I then with sorrow
See Blue Peter at the fore.
But (ah me!) his ship's unmooring;
Nelson's last boat rows from shore;
Every sail is set and swelling,
And Blue Peter's seen no more."
EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 369
While Nelson reaped fresh laurels to lay at her feet,
Emma waited for the peace which should bring him
back, but which was indefinitely delayed. Among the
frequenters of the Piccadilly household, " Old Q." and Lord William Douglas, an indefatigable scribbler of
vers de societe, remained real friends, as Nelson con-
stantly acknowledged, but the Carlton House gang still
seems to have pestered her. For a space she became
cross with herself, cross with Sir William and cross
even with Nelson, whose most unselfish devotion to her
never allowed the gall in her imperious nature to em-
bitter its honey. But, despite her own ailments and
her husband's, she soon resumed her energy. Never
did she appear to better advantage, except in days of
danger, than in those of sickness. She was always
trying to get promotions for Nelson's old Captains, and
caring for his proteges and dependants ; she even acted
as Nelson's deputy in urging the authorities to supply
him with the requisite officers so often denied him,
that he would protest himself forgotten " by the great folks at home." To Nelson she wrote constantly,
pouring out her heart and soul.
From Kioge Bay Nelson sailed to Revel, from Revel
to Finland; and thence Russia- ward to complete his
work of peace by an interview with the new Czar, and
with that Count Pahlen who had headed the assassina-
tors of Paul in his bedroom. The Russians feted him
and found him the facsimile of their " young
Suwaroff." Nelson's new triumph one of naviga-
tion, of strategy, and of ubiquitous diplomacy as well
which had again saved England and awoke the un-
measured gratitude of the people, met with the same
chill reception from the Government as of old. Nel-
son had always been his own Admiral. He habitu-
ally disobeyed orders : it was intolerable. They sus-
pected the armistice that he had made in the thick of
370 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON
the battle ; all along, the white flag seems to have pursued Nelson with misconstruction. He has himself
recorded in two letters to Lady Hamilton a telling vin-
dication, which does honour to his humanity and to
his prudence. He did not conceal his vexation. " I
know mankind well enough," he told Hamilton, " to be sure that there are those in England who wish me at
the devil. If they only wish me out of England,
they will soon be gratified, for to go to Bronte I am
determined. So I have wrote the King of the Two
Sicilies, whose situation I most sincerely pity." He comforts himself that he is " backed with a just cause and the prayers of all good people. No medals were
struck for Copenhagen ; even the City began to flag
in its appreciation. He flew out against the Lord
Mayor who had once said, " Do you find victories, and we will find rewards." It was not for himself but
for his officers that he coveted the latter; and yet, as he was to write in the following year, " I have since that time found two complete victories. I have kept my
word. They who exist by victories at sea have not."
Nelson " could not obey the Scriptures and bless them."
The victory itself he extolled as the most hard-earned
and complete in the annals of the navy. He was a
bold man, Addington told him, to disregard orders : he
rejoined that in taking the risk he counted on Adding-
ton's support. And Nelson was further troubled not
only by wretched health and disappointment at the
frustration of an earlier return, but by the blow of his brother Maurice's death. Amid his own engrossing
Full text of Memoirs of Emma, lady Hamilton, the friend of Lord Nelson and the court of Naples; Page 42