Full text of Memoirs of Emma, lady Hamilton, the friend of Lord Nelson and the court of Naples;

by Yelena Kopylova

  362 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  Lothian's; Tom Tit, at the same place [Brighton].

  The Cub x is to have a frigate, the Thalia. I suppose

  HE will be up in a day or so. I only hope he does not

  come near me. If he does, not at home shall be the

  answer. I am glad he is going. . . . Milord has only

  Allen with him. We supped and talked politics till 2.

  Mr. East [Este?] who is a pleasant man, was with us.

  . . . Oh, my dearest friend, our dear Lord is just

  come in. He goes off to-night and sails imediately.

  My heart is fit to Burst quite with greef. Oh, what

  pain, God only knows. I can only say may the All-

  mighty God bless, prosper, and protect him! I shall

  go mad with grief. Oh, God only knows what it is to

  part with such a friend, such a one. We were truly

  called the Tria juncta in uno, for Sir W., he, and I

  have but one heart in three bodies. . . . He, our great

  Nelson, sends his love to you. . . . My greif will not

  let me say more. Heavens bless you, answer your af-

  flicted E. H,"

  From Yarmouth, after a brief spell of final prepara-

  tion, Nelson sailed for the double feat of annihilating

  the Northern Confederation single-handed, and nego-

  tiating with a mastery both of men and management

  the truce that preceded the Peace of Amiens. Copen-

  hagen was now the key of the situation, as it was to

  prove six years later, when Canning saved Europe

  from the ruin of Austerlitz and the ignominy of Tilsit

  by that secret expedition which would have glad-

  dened Nelson, had he been alive. As victor and peace-

  maker he was now to stand forth supreme. ' Time

  is our best ally," he wrote to Lord St. Vincent a few days later, when the wind caused a week's delay in

  the start of the refitted ships. " I hope we shall not give her up, as all our allies have given us up. Our

  1 Nelson's stepson Josiah Nisbet.

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 363

  friend here is a little nervous about dark nights and

  fields of ice, but we must brace up; these are not times for nervous systems. I want peace, which is only to be

  had through, I trust, our still invincible navy " ; and, just before sailing, he made a declaration to Berry

  that no Briton should ever forget: ". . . As to the plan for pointing a gun truer than we do at present, if

  the person comes, I shall of course look at it, and be

  happy, if necessary, to use it. But I hope that we

  shall be able, as usual, to get so close to our enemies, that our shots cannot miss their object, and that we

  shall again give our northern enemies that hailstorm

  of bullets which is so emphatically described in the

  Naval Chronicle, and which gives our dear country the

  dominion of the seas. We have it, and all the devils

  in, hell cannot take it from us, if our wooden walls have fair play." On the verge of battle he indited three lines meant for Emma's eyes alone : " He has no fear of death but parting from you."

  Emma resumed her disconsolate epistles both to

  him and, until her return, to Mrs. William Nelson.

  The first can only be inferred from his most vehe-

  ment answers, while of the second a few scraps may

  find appropriate place.

  With a single exception she had withheld nothing

  from Nelson; their communion was unreserved. But

  of " Emma Carew," that " orphan," now a girl of nineteen, for whom she was still caring, who was soon

  to be put under the alternate charge of Mrs. Denis and

  of Mrs. Connor, and who was frequently to see her

  undisclosed mother at Merton, she seems to have kept

  silence. On the first day of March Nelson addressed

  to the " friend of his bosom " that most remarkable letter opening " Now, my own dear wife," which has become so hackneyed. He at last found a full vent

  for his feelings, for Oliver was the bearer of the paper.

  364 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  There was nothing, he said, that he would not do for

  them to live together, and to have their dear little child with them. He firmly believed that the imminent campaign would ensure peace, and then who knew?

  they might cross the water and live in avowed part-

  nership at Bronte. He wanted to see his wife no

  more, but until he could quit the country with Emma

  (and before that possibility England must be safe-

  guarded), there could be no open union. After en-

  suring a " glorious issue," he would return with " a little more fame " for his Emma, proud of him and

  their country. " I never did love any one else," he continues ; " I never had a dear pledge of love till you gave me one, and you, thank my God, never gave one

  to anybody else. . . . You, my beloved Emma, and

  my country are the two dearest objects of my fond

  heart, a heart susceptible and true. Only place confi-

  dence in me and you never shall be disappointed." He is now convinced of his dominion over her. He protests

  in the most passionate phrases his longing and his con-

  stancy. He is hers all, only, and always. " My heart, body, and mind l is in perfect union of love towards

  my own dear beloved " his matchless, his flawless

  Emma.

  Yet a living proof of flaw lurked in oblivion. We

  have heard Emma in 1798 sighing over her married

  childlessness. Horatia, Nelson's Horatia, was at

  length hers. Horatia's name and influence tinge his

  every tone; he even writes to the babe-in-arms, the

  child of his own heart. As Horatia's mother, Emma

  seems holy in his eyes. Every letter that he kisses

  before he sends it, is sealed with her head; each of

  hers with " Nelson " and " The Nile," with his glori-1 It is worthy of notice that he omits " soul." In a much later letter to her he says that his being is hers entirely, but that his

  " soul " is his Creator's.

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 365

  ous emblem " Honor est a Nilo." Was it now possible, at this longed-for moment, to reveal the dark

  error of her day's clouded opening? She had been

  but seventeen when that other daughter, watched, be-

  friended, but never acknowledged, had been born. The

  foundling's disavowal had been wholly the work and

  craft of Greville, once so " good," so " tender " to her and the offspring that he snatched away from her

  girl's embrace. Was this the moment, she might well

  plead with the Pharisees, for withdrawing the veil that

  hid Horatia's half-sister from Nelson? She remained

  a " Protestant of the flesh " a born pagan. As pagan she would be true in trial. She would do her

  duty as she knew it, and act her double part of nurse

  and wife. She would be generous and warm-hearted.

  But such surrender! Was it in human, in feminine

  nature? Had she been the born " saint " of Nelson's canonisation, she would have done so now. Pale and

  weeping, she would have humbled herself and placed

  that daughter by her side as some token of atonement.

  How the scribes of the long robe, like Greville, would

  have sneered, how Hamilton would have smiled ! And

  Hamilton's name poor, fading Hamilton's must

  surely have struck some chord in her better self. Who

  was she, w r hat manner of man was Nelson, to make or

  exact such sacrifice ! Although
Sir William's own re-

  cent weakness had endangered her, and belittled him

  before Nelson, they still esteemed him formed to--

  gether, indeed, his right hand. And yet, whether

  Greville and he had guessed the truth or not, to him

  they were half traitors an ugly word for an ugly

  fact ; for what had Caracciolo been but a traitor ! This was a moment when self -illusions might have vanished, and Nelson's Roman virtue might have list-

  ened to the stern rebuke to David " Thou art the

  man." Yet, contrasted with the lax crew of Carlton

  366 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  House and many at St. James's, Nelson and she were

  all but virtuous, virtuous sinners. Would her sin,

  then, ever find her out ? Was this the time to bare her

  conscience to the world ?

  And during that brief London visit they had surely

  both seen the child, as they must have often done in

  the two succeeding years. Their visits suggest a strik-

  ing picture, the spare, weather-beaten man in the

  plain black suit, with the firm yet morbid mouth; the

  beautiful woman longing to call aloud to her baby;

  the little, homely room; Nurse Gibson with her house-

  keeper air, furtively wondering why the great Lord

  Nelson and the Ambassador's lady were so much con-

  cerned in this work-a-day world, with the mysterious

  child of " Mr. and Mrs. Thomson."

  The very day that Emma received Nelson's con-

  fession of faith in her, she took up her pen once more

  to his sister-in-law:

  " My dearest friend, anxiety and heart-bleedings for your dear brother's departure has made me so ill, I

  have not been able to write. I cannot eat or sleep.

  Oh, may God prosper and bless him. He has wrote

  to Lord Eldon for Mr. Nelson. You will have him

  at Yarmouth in two days. Oh, how I envy you ! Oh

  God, how happy you are ! . . . My spirits and health

  is bad endeed. . . . Tom Tit is at Brighton. She did

  not come, nor did he go. Jove, for such he is quite

  a Jove knows better than that. Morrice means to

  go to Yarmouth. The Cub dined with us, but I never

  asked how Tom Tit was. . . . How I long to see you;

  do try and come, for God's sake do." And a like

  burden pervades the notes of days following: she is

  " so very low-spirited and ill " since " the best and greatest man alive went away." She has " no spirit to do anything." She prays Mrs. Nelson of her charity

  to come. They can then " walk and talk, and be so

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 367

  happy together." She can hear " all the news of my Hero." She has bought Charlotte presents, and will

  take them to her. The King is better, and Tom Tit is

  in the country. She sends every message to " little Horatio." She had been ill all night, and cannot even take the morning air. For the second time, " Calypso ne pouvait se consoler du depart d'Ulysse."

  Nelson had asked, Emma had hoped, that she and

  Sir William (for Nelson would never see her without

  her husband) might run down to Yarmouth, and bid

  him and the St. George farewell. But " his eternally obliged " Sir William (possibly warned by Greville) declined with civil thanks. He was dedicating every

  moment to art. Some of his choicest vases, to his

  great joy, had turned up from the wreck. Pending the

  dubious bounty of the Government, he was preparing

  to sell these and his pictures by auction. Among the

  latter were three portraits of his wife. Nelson was

  furious at Emma being thus for the second time " on sale." He bought the St. Cecilia, as has been recounted earlier, for 300, and enshrined it as a true

  " saint " in his cabin : had it cost " 300 drops of blood,"

  he would " have given it with pleasure." And almost up to the date of departure, renewed uneasiness about

  the loose set that Sir William now encouraged harassed

  him. Should she ever find herself in extremities, she

  must summon him back, and he would fly to her de-

  liverance. It was at this moment that in once more

  revising his will, he bequeathed to her a diamond

  star.

  It is strange that the virtuously indignant Miss

  Knight's pen should have been employed in celebrating

  the loves of Nelson and Lady Hamilton ; yet such had

  been the case. Nelson retained them until the great

  battle was over, when he enclosed them in a letter to

  Emma :

  368 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  "L'lNFELiCE EMMA AI VENTI."

  "Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

  To Love and Emma kind !

  Ah ! come ! more grateful far

  Than perfumed zephyrs are.

  Blow, blow, and on thy welcome wing

  My Life, my Love, my Hero bring.

  Blest, blest the compass be

  Which steers my love to me!

  And blest the happy gale

  Which fills his homeward sail;

  And blest the boat, and blest each oar

  Which rows my True Lo've back to shore."

  And " blest," one might add, this maudlin trash.

  Robuster, at any rate, than these, surely, is the mediocre set that Emma composed for her hero in the same

  month.

  " Silent grief, and sad forebodings

  , (Lest I ne'er should see him more),

  Fill my heart when gallant Nelson

  Hoists Blue Peter at the fore.

  On his Pendant anxious gazing,

  Filled with tears mine eyes run o'er;

  At each change of wind I tremble

  While Blue Peter's at the fore.

  All the livelong day I wander,

  Sighing on the sea-beat shore,

  But my sighs are all unheeded,

  When Blue Peter's at the fore.

  Oh that I might with my Nelson

  Sail the whole world o'er and o'er,

  Never should I then with sorrow

  See Blue Peter at the fore.

  But (ah me!) his ship's unmooring;

  Nelson's last boat rows from shore;

  Every sail is set and swelling,

  And Blue Peter's seen no more."

  EMMA, LADY HAMILTON 369

  While Nelson reaped fresh laurels to lay at her feet,

  Emma waited for the peace which should bring him

  back, but which was indefinitely delayed. Among the

  frequenters of the Piccadilly household, " Old Q." and Lord William Douglas, an indefatigable scribbler of

  vers de societe, remained real friends, as Nelson con-

  stantly acknowledged, but the Carlton House gang still

  seems to have pestered her. For a space she became

  cross with herself, cross with Sir William and cross

  even with Nelson, whose most unselfish devotion to her

  never allowed the gall in her imperious nature to em-

  bitter its honey. But, despite her own ailments and

  her husband's, she soon resumed her energy. Never

  did she appear to better advantage, except in days of

  danger, than in those of sickness. She was always

  trying to get promotions for Nelson's old Captains, and

  caring for his proteges and dependants ; she even acted

  as Nelson's deputy in urging the authorities to supply

  him with the requisite officers so often denied him,

  that he would protest himself forgotten " by the great folks at home." To Nelson she wrote constantly,

  pouring out her heart and soul.


  From Kioge Bay Nelson sailed to Revel, from Revel

  to Finland; and thence Russia- ward to complete his

  work of peace by an interview with the new Czar, and

  with that Count Pahlen who had headed the assassina-

  tors of Paul in his bedroom. The Russians feted him

  and found him the facsimile of their " young

  Suwaroff." Nelson's new triumph one of naviga-

  tion, of strategy, and of ubiquitous diplomacy as well

  which had again saved England and awoke the un-

  measured gratitude of the people, met with the same

  chill reception from the Government as of old. Nel-

  son had always been his own Admiral. He habitu-

  ally disobeyed orders : it was intolerable. They sus-

  pected the armistice that he had made in the thick of

  370 EMMA, LADY HAMILTON

  the battle ; all along, the white flag seems to have pursued Nelson with misconstruction. He has himself

  recorded in two letters to Lady Hamilton a telling vin-

  dication, which does honour to his humanity and to

  his prudence. He did not conceal his vexation. " I

  know mankind well enough," he told Hamilton, " to be sure that there are those in England who wish me at

  the devil. If they only wish me out of England,

  they will soon be gratified, for to go to Bronte I am

  determined. So I have wrote the King of the Two

  Sicilies, whose situation I most sincerely pity." He comforts himself that he is " backed with a just cause and the prayers of all good people. No medals were

  struck for Copenhagen ; even the City began to flag

  in its appreciation. He flew out against the Lord

  Mayor who had once said, " Do you find victories, and we will find rewards." It was not for himself but

  for his officers that he coveted the latter; and yet, as he was to write in the following year, " I have since that time found two complete victories. I have kept my

  word. They who exist by victories at sea have not."

  Nelson " could not obey the Scriptures and bless them."

  The victory itself he extolled as the most hard-earned

  and complete in the annals of the navy. He was a

  bold man, Addington told him, to disregard orders : he

  rejoined that in taking the risk he counted on Adding-

  ton's support. And Nelson was further troubled not

  only by wretched health and disappointment at the

  frustration of an earlier return, but by the blow of his brother Maurice's death. Amid his own engrossing