Lost and Found

by Lilian Carmine

  “Well, it serves you right,” I retaliated. The bastard had got what he deserved for barging into my head like a damned troll.

  “Hah! That’s rich, coming from you. The pot calling the kettle black!” he scoffed. “How’s that wrong for me, but you can read people as you please and it’s all good and dandy?”

  “I only do it for my own protection! I don’t purposefully try to pry into others’ personal thoughts with shady motives, like you do,” I protested, but felt a bit guilty all the same, because he was kind of right. When it boiled down to it, we really did almost the same thing. “And you said you couldn’t remember anything, when we went to your cabin to ask you questions. You were lying about that, weren’t you? You didn’t have amnesia at all!” I accused.

  “I couldn’t remember things for the first day, but by the end of the night my memories returned. The migraines I had afterwards were so bad I couldn’t do anything, anyway. You saw how I was; that wasn’t an act,” he protested darkly. “I tried peeking inside the boy’s head when you came over to interrogate me, but like I said, it’s like trying to listen to whispers in a fog. And I sure wasn’t stupid enough to try anything again on you, that’s for damned sure.”

  “Why did you want to read my mind so bad in the first place, anyway?”

  He rubbed his thick moustache, mulling over the question. “Well, there was the connection with Jonathan Gray that I was trying to uncover,” he began slowly. “I peeked inside that kid’s head, Simon. There were all sorts of jumbled thoughts, but you know what was the most interesting thing to fish out of there? A memory of fire over the lake. That caught my attention, fast. I knew you were somehow involved, then. Fire and ‘Gray’ in the same sentence is never a coincidence, I know that much. I tried to read your mind to confirm my suspicions, but it backfired on me – no pun intended.”

  “How do you even know about Jonathan Gray and his connection with fire?” Tristan asked.

  “Yeah! How?” I joined in, full of suspicion. Even my mother didn’t know about that, and they were together for a good few years. I didn’t think my father would have boasted about his fire powers to anyone, if he hadn’t even trusted his own wife with the secret. It wasn’t likely that he would have shown it to a kid in high school, or wherever they had met.

  “Ah, well, we studied and then worked together a few times on field missions. But that was a long time ago, twenty-eight years back. We were just starting out in the League, fresh and young and full of hope.”

  “You were in the Top League, too?” I asked in alarm.

  “I am. Present tense, kiddo.”

  I didn’t even need Tristan’s grip tightening on my arm to warn me about the danger in those words. All sorts of red flags, neon signs and flashing alarms were let loose inside my head as soon as he mentioned the League.

  “We were assigned to work together in the first years we joined the League. But then he got too important to be with the likes of me, once he’d started to hang around the popular circle. Then suddenly he didn’t have time for me any more,” Craig continued, his tone filled with resentment.

  “What was this job that you two worked on together? What did you do in the League?”

  He paused and regarded me critically. “I’m sure you know. Your father must have told you all about the important job he had at the League when he was younger, before he quit and went off grid.”

  “He never told me anything,” I said through gritted teeth. He couldn’t have, on account of having died when I was three years old.

  “I doubt that very much. Jonathan Gray was always the cockiest and smuggest bastard around. I’m sure he couldn’t have kept himself from bragging about this to his own daughter.”

  “I’ve heard about the League, but not from Jonathan,” I said in a clipped tone.

  “So what are you doing at this camp, anyway?” Tristan asked Craig. “You said you only suspected there was something related to her father after you probed Simon’s head, and only then did you decide to investigate. What brought you here in the first place?”

  “I came here to check on a ‘Joe Gray’. Your name has been bleeping on our radar for a while. I thought you were a boy, though. They thought Jonathan must have slipped up and was being careless, letting his son show up at a Gathering now. They were betting on a cocky boy taking after his daddy, showing off his powers to his friends.”

  “They? The League sent you, then?”

  “Of course, who do you think? You don’t just disappear one day, never to be heard of again – not in the League, you don’t. We’ve been trying to track him down forever. But your father, oh man, he’s good! He didn’t leave a single trace, not one track that could lead back to him. For more than twenty years he’s kept away. But he wasn’t counting on his reckless offspring blowing his cover, was he? He’s going to be mighty pissed with you, kid, when he finds out you’ve been ‘playing with fire’, for all the world to see, without Daddy’s consent. That’s karma at its best: the most reckless guy I’ve ever met getting grief over his daughter’s negligence now.”

  “What does the League want him for? Why go to the trouble of sending people here to investigate his whereabouts after all this time? Why can’t they just leave him alone?”

  “Fire, Mrs. Halloway. Jonathan was a fire charmer, like yourself. That is a rare ability and very precious to them. They never stopped looking for him because of his fire.” His voice was laced with envy now. “They don’t care for silly mind powers like mine. To get recognition in that place you have to demonstrate tactile, invasive brute force that can be used in battle. They don’t appreciate subtle, much more efficient ways, like mine, oh no. To them it’s all about brutality. Your old man could only conjure up small flames in the palm of his hands, back in the old days, yet they fucking loved him for it. I was pushed aside, irrelevant, just a useless piece of furniture to them.” He sneered, full of venom. “They tried to train Jonathan, to make him practice his abilities, make his power bigger, stronger, but he was too undisciplined, stubborn and he lacked concentration . . . He never applied himself to his training. But maybe he could have been practicing by himself all this time. They think maybe now he’s gotten better at it. That’s why they sent me here to look for him again.”

  I couldn’t help but notice the similarity between Celeste’s evaluation of me and Craig’s breakdown of my father’s problems: undisciplined, stubborn, lacked concentration and application to studies. I guessed the apple really didn’t fall far from the tree.

  Craig continued with his rant. “Even hating his pretty little guts for leaving the way he did, they still want him back. Jonathan was always a gigantic pain in their collective ass, yet they are still crazy to get their hands on him and take him back.”

  “Why was he a pain in their ass? What did he do?”

  “Let’s just say obeying orders and dealing with authority were never his forte. But they don’t have to worry about that any more. Can you imagine what they’ll think when I tell them about you? When I tell them there’s a younger, female, more subdued and mellow version of Jonathan? They’ll think they’ve hit the jackpot!”

  Tristan snorted loud at hearing that. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were throwing jokes at us,” he said, when Craig shot him a quizzical look. “If they think Joey is a ‘mellow version’ of anything, they’ll have a good surprise coming. I’d bet good money she’s more stubborn, fierce and brave than her father ever was, and then some.”

  I smiled proudly at Tristan for coming to my defense. You go, hubby!

  “You think just because she’s a woman, it’ll be easy to control her? Think again, pal,” Tristan added with a scoff.

  “It doesn’t matter, anyway.” Craig gave an uncaring shrug. “They’ll sure come after her, easy or hard. If what I saw in that kid’s head is really true . . . It wasn’t just a small flame in the palms of your hands, was it, young lady? It was massive. So much potential for so much destruction . . . I can almost see the party they’re goin
g to throw for you.”

  But I suspected I knew exactly what sort of “party” those people in the League were about to throw for me. Simon had been very incisive in his confession about how dangerous they really were, how they craved slaves they could control and use and abuse.

  I remember the look in Simon’s eyes, how real the fear was in them. Anything was better than being “recruited” by those men, I knew that much. Now I also understood why my father had never mentioned them, why he’d never told my mother about his old life, and about magic. He’d wanted to get away from them, at all costs, even if he’d had to deny part of himself, deny his magic.

  He’d kept it a secret to protect us from this League, to keep his family out of reach of their hold. And now I had ruined everything, drawing attention to myself – and my powers.

  “You can’t tell anyone!” I took one step in his direction, pleading. “Craig, please, you can’t. I know you don’t like my father, but this is not his fault. It’s mine, okay? I didn’t know any of this. I didn’t know I was supposed to stay out of sight. No one ever told me about this damned League! Please!”

  I think it was the crack in my voice that made him falter, or maybe the tears brimming in my eyes. He uncrossed his arms, relaxing his unyielding stance, for once. “Look, kid. It’s out of my hands now. I have to report this. They are expecting me to contact them any time soon. They are hearing a lot of strange rumors coming from this place, and they want to know what’s going on. I have to tell them.”

  “You could tell them you found nothing here,” Tristan suggested. “It’s mostly rumors of animal attacks, anyway . . . they would buy that story.”

  “It’s not that simple. They are not stupid, boy! They know there is something supernatural going on at this camp! That Simon boy is going to blabber about the fire he saw on the lake – you know that, don’t you? His brother works for us. In fact, Cillian Blaine was the one supposed to come here to investigate. They switched to me because I insisted on coming to check this out. They know how much I despise Jonathan, and that I would do anything to get my hands on him. I was their best choice for this job. I’m the best at tracking people down without too much fuss: I’m quick and clean about it, whereas that Blaine kid leaves a mess wherever he goes. Not that I’ve ever heard a word of appreciation for any of my talents,” he complained, looking hurt. “But it’s only a matter of time before Simon tells his brother about the fire and they connect it to you, same way I did. I’m sorry, but I have to tell them what I know.”

  “No! Please. You can’t,” I begged.

  “Actually, I can’t wait to see how Jonathan will wriggle out of this one. I’ll bet it will be with some trick. He was always so full of annoying, smart tricks. This will be an irritation to him, but he deserves it, trust me. He’s made me look like a fool plenty of times before. I’ll tell him to consider this payback,” Craig boasted, but then he saw the despair on my face and his eyes glinted with guilt and remorse. “Hey, I’m sure your father will take care of this, kid. He disappeared on us completely once; he can do it again. You don’t need to worry so much, he’ll look after you.”

  “No. He won’t. He can’t. My father, he’s—”

  “No, Joe! Don’t!” Tristan cut in, stopping me from telling the truth. “If they know, they will think you’re unprotected.”

  “I have to tell him, Tris. He may sound mean, but he’s not. I can see it. He’s not a bad person.” I turned to look Craig straight in the eyes. “My father is dead, Craig. He died when I was very little. It was an accident; he wasn’t expecting it. He thought he had all the time in the world to tell me everything when I was older and could understand things a little better. He never got to tell me about any of this stuff. I didn’t know I should’ve stayed away from magic. I didn’t know. But now that I do, I won’t ever use my ability again, I swear to you.”

  Craig seemed completely stunned, shock marking his features. He closed his eyes and exhaled, seeming genuinely surprised and even saddened at the news. “I’m so sorry, Joe.” It was the first time he’d addressed me by my first name. “Your dad, well, he was an arrogant prick, but he didn’t deserve to die. I guess he was only trying to protect his family . . . that’s why he went off grid. It makes sense now. He was trying to keep all this away from you, and to have a normal life,” he mumbled in realization.

  “You have to help us,” Tristan pleaded. “They can’t know about her! No one can know.”

  “I’ll quit magic, like he wanted me to. I’ll stay away, for good. I promise. The League won’t ever know about me, if you don’t tell them. Please.”

  Craig started pacing in front of his car, clearly having an internal debate, but then he reached a conclusion. “Okay, look, this is what we’ll do. I’ll tell them you’re a girl. That should throw them off your track for a while. They are expecting a boy Gray, not a girl. If you keep your word, stop casting fire and . . . well, and continue being a girl, maybe it can work,” he said thoughtfully, wringing his hands nervously. “You are really a girl, right?” He stopped pacing to raise a skeptical eyebrow at me.

  “No. I’m a plant. Duh.”

  “Sorry, I had to be sure. These days, you can never be quite certain . . .”

  “What’s that got to do with anything? You’re talking nonsense,” Tristan said, looking confused.

  “Well, hmm, there’s this one other thing you should know about your dad’s family, the Grays,” Craig began to explain. “For about eight generations, maybe even more, there have only been males in that family.”

  “What? That doesn’t make any sense. And it’s impossible. How can they have descendants, then?” I asked, baffled.

  Craig rolled his eyes. “They marry women outside the family, but the offspring are always males. Like, always, really. Not one single kid has been born female in that family. Ever. You’re the first one that I’ve heard of.”

  “You’re joking!” I gasped, my eyes opening wide in astonishment.

  “I’m serious, kid. I almost packed up and left the day you arrived at Misty Lake Camp, and I saw you were a girl. Like I said, I was expecting a boy named Joe Gray to attend the Gathering. Then you showed up, obviously very female. I thought, well, investigation’s over, that is not the Gray boy we are looking for. But then weird things started happening and I got a peek into Simon Blaine’s mind, saw the fire, connected the dots . . .”

  “I can’t believe this, but . . . it actually makes sense,” I said, deep in thought.

  My mother used to tell me old stories about how they’d decided to name me Joe.

  She told me that the second my father knew she was pregnant, he was absolutely sure it would be a boy. She used to say he didn’t have an inkling of a doubt that the baby was going to be anything other than a boy. He just knew it.

  It had always been that way in his – our – family, which is how he was so sure.

  My mother used to say he spent the entire nine months calling me Joe. The name had been picked on that first day and stuck like glue. He even told Mom to skip her ultrasound scans, as there was no doubt in his mind about the sex of the baby. He had assured her a million times, with such certainty that she’d started to believe it herself.

  They were both shocked when I popped out with all the “girl parts”. Mom said he’d cried a lot when he held me for the first time, calling me his special little miracle. She didn’t realize how accurate that was.

  I really was a miracle in the Gray genealogical line.

  By the time I was born, they’d gotten so used to calling me Joe, it didn’t sound right to change the name, Mom said.

  So they kept it. I was Joe. A girl named Joe.

  Now it all made sense.

  “He thought I was going to be a boy. That’s why he named me Joe,” I said, turning to Tristan. “It wasn’t that he only wanted a boy; he just wasn’t expecting his baby to come out a girl.”

  “Oh,” Tristan said softly in realization. “That explains quite a lot, actually.”<
br />
  “Yeah, I know.” I felt light-headed from too many groundbreaking life revelations in just one day. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

  “But I’m not entirely sure they will believe this lie for long, though,” Craig interrupted. “They will still suspect something’s up. I mean, people are talking about wolves, ghosts, lake creatures . . . all sorts running wild around here. They will look for answers. If they dig enough, they will bump into stories of fire. If they look closely enough, they are bound to figure it out.”

  “All this weird stuff going on at the camp – it’s Simon’s fault,” Tristan blurted out, before I could stop him. “You can tell them it’s all down to Simon, not Joey.”

  “Tristan, don’t say that!”

  “No, Joey. It’s the truth. Soon Celeste is going to have to contact his parents and let them know. It was serious what happened back there, Joey! He could have seriously hurt someone. He’s out of control! She has to tell his parents. Soon everybody will know about it. I’m just speeding up the flow of information, here.”

  “So you think tossing him to the lions in my place is the right thing to do?” I argued, upset. “He’s terrified of this League, Tris! They can’t know about Simon! They will take him away!”

  “They can’t know about you, Joey!” Tristan argued back. “I’m sorry, but we can’t save Simon! That ship has sailed. But we still have a shot at saving you!”

  “Simon’s the one doing this?” Craig said in surprise. “Well, then I’m afraid the boy is right, Joe. If Simon is really the one responsible for all the supernatural occurrences, you might have a chance to duck under their radar . . .”

  “Yes, he is. He’s making his fears come to life,” Tristan explained.