Pulling Away

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Pulling Away Page 3

by Shawn Lane


  Noah turned on his laptop. He could at least send Charlie an email telling him he’d come by to see him tomorrow after work. Then he noticed Charlie’s screen name was active. He waited, expecting to see an instant message pop up for Sly Cat. He waited several minutes, but no message came.

  Taking a chance, Noah flipped his cell and called Charlie.

  “Noah?” Charlie’s voice rasped after the first ring.

  “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

  “No, I couldn’t sleep. Where are you?”

  “I just got home. Sorry I missed your calls,” Noah said. “Hey, I’m not mad at you about the other night or anything. We’re good.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Are you all right? You sound pretty down.”

  “Can you…can you come over?” Charlie asked.

  “Now?”

  There was a long pause. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  Noah closed his eyes. Charlie sounded uncertain. Not like his usual self at all. But Noah shouldn’t go. He knew very well if he went over there they’d end up having sex and he’d be in deep all over again. He exhaled. As if he’d ever actually not loved Charlie. Who was he really kidding?

  “Yeah, I’m on my way, Charlie,” Noah whispered.

  “Thanks. See you in a few.”

  Noah sat in his house for a moment, trying to get himself together. You’re just a neighbor he has sex with once in a while.

  Keep it casual, keep it cool.

  Charlie must have been watching for him, because as soon as he started up the walkway of the house, the front door opened.

  Noah reached Charlie and to his further surprise, Charlie immediately pulled Noah into an embrace and kissed him thoroughly. Charlie kicked the front door closed and pushed him up against the wall, not breaking the contact of their lips.

  Charlie’s tongue slid inside his mouth, and Noah moaned. Most of the time Charlie didn’t allow their tongues to touch. He wondered if he should stop Charlie and ask him if he was all right.

  Already Charlie tore at Noah’s T-shirt, inching it up his stomach to his underarms. Next he tugged at the belt in Noah’s slacks.

  “Easy, easy,” Noah gasped. Charlie was so intense, so desperate.

  “Fuck me, please,” Charlie begged. He undid Noah’s pants and shoved them down, together with Noah’s briefs. It seemed pretty clear to Noah that they were going to have to go at whatever pace Charlie wanted. He’d never seen his lover like this before.

  Charlie reached for Noah’s hard cock, closing his fingers around the shaft.

  “Um, get naked, Charlie.”

  Charlie didn’t need to be told twice. He stepped back, pulled off the sweatshirt he wore, and tossed it across the room. He then shucked his jeans and boxers. Now naked, he walked over to a nearby table and picked up a condom package and a bottle of lube.

  Noah pulled his clothes off the rest of the way, then reached for Charlie. He pushed Charlie against the wall, kneeling in front of the other man. Noah wanted to taste him.

  “Yes, please,” Charlie said.

  Noah drew the tip of Charlie’s cock into his mouth. He suckled on it for a few moments before drawing it farther in and swallowing down the length.

  Charlie handed the bottle of lube to Noah. Without releasing Charlie’s straining cock, Noah squeezed lube onto his fingers, parted the other man’s legs, and slid his digits into Charlie’s entrance.

  Charlie’s hands gripped Noah’s shoulders, and he thrust into his mouth. Noah moved his fingers within his lover’s ass. His own cock ached with need. He had to come soon, but first he wanted to make Charlie release in his mouth. Wanted to make the other man lose total control.

  It didn’t take long for Charlie to increase the speed of his thrusts, growling low. Noah caressed his balls, squeezing them gently.

  “Noah!”

  He tasted Charlie’s fluid as he poured into Noah’s mouth. After Noah swallowed as much of the other man’s spunk as he could, he released Charlie’s cock and stood. He tore open a condom package and rolled it on his erection. Charlie wrapped his arms around Noah’s neck and pulled him close again, their lips melding together, hot and wet.

  Noah lifted Charlie and entered him with one long thrust. He pumped into him again and again, slamming harder and deeper. He briefly worried he was hurting Charlie, smacking him against the wall, but the other man didn’t protest, he just kissed Noah with more intensity.

  The orgasm hit him fast and furiously. With a shout of his own, Noah stiffened and came inside his lover.

  He rested his forehead against Charlie’s and slowly withdrew. He lowered his lover’s legs and kissed him again.

  Noah smiled. “Well, I’m glad I called you back.”

  Charlie laughed. “Me, too.” He yawned. “I’m suddenly exhausted.”

  “Yeah.” Noah bent down to pick up his clothes, remembering he needed to pull away, not read too much into it. “Listen, I’m heading home. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Wait…um, do you want to stay over?” Charlie asked, but he wouldn’t look at Noah.

  Noah was tempted to say yes. He wanted to more than anything. But he couldn’t put the words Charlie had typed to Sly Cat about him out of his mind. It hurt. Still. And he needed to protect his heart as best he could. Cuddling up to Charlie would not be a good idea.

  “No. I have to get up pretty early. I wouldn’t want to bother you.” Noah tried to make his smile casual. “I’ll call you in a few days.”

  “A few days?”

  Was it his imagination or did Charlie look crushed?

  “Yeah, you know how it is. Busy, busy.” Even as he said it, as he put the distance between them, it felt wrong. Like maybe he was doing to Charlie what Charlie had done to him…dismissing him. Noah dressed and opened Charlie’s front door.

  “Noah?”

  “Hmm?”

  Charlie frowned, and glanced away. “Nothing. Good night.”

  “Night, Charlie.”

  * * * *

  Charlie had made a decision. A few days had already passed since he’d last heard from Noah. He didn’t just come over uninvited like he once did. At one time, Charlie had almost been annoyed when Noah came over. Now he got depressed when evening came and went with no Noah.

  He should have told Noah he wanted things to change when he’d come over the other night. But Charlie wanted to have sex and be close and he’d missed the chance. Noah had practically run away.

  When had their relationship changed so that he was the pursuer?

  Whatever. Friday night had come around again and Noah hadn’t even called. Charlie intended to find out why.

  Noah didn’t answer his cell, so Charlie walked across the street to his house. He frowned at the unfamiliar motorcycle parked in front of Noah’s house. He hoped Noah hadn’t bought a motorcycle.

  Charlie rang the bell and waited. He listened for the familiar sound of Noah’s soft footsteps, but instead he heard running just before the door was flung open.

  Standing at Noah’s front door was a tall guy with dyed red hair dressed in very tight jeans and a midriff shirt. He was actually quite good looking. The man raised a sculpted brow at him.

  “Yum,” the guy said, looking him up and down. “Noah, Adonis is here to see you.”

  Charlie took a step back, his heart hammering in his chest. Was this why Noah had stopped seeing him? God, was Noah fucking this guy?

  Noah suddenly appeared behind the guy. His eyes widened when he saw Charlie. “Hi.”

  “Who the hell is this?” Charlie heard himself ask. It was almost like he was watching this happen outside his body.

  “What?” Noah stared at him.

  Charlie’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. His stomach lurched. He felt nauseous. “I can’t believe this.”

  “Believe what? Charlie—”

  Never in his wildest dreams had he expected Noah to be sleeping with someone else. It certainly made se
nse now. Stupidly, he hadn’t put two and two together. Noah disappearing for days and ignoring him. Wearing contacts now. Being weird on the phone when he did reach him. All this time he thought Noah cared about him. Maybe even too much. Charlie guessed he’d been wrong about everything.

  “You’re cheating on me?” he managed to rasp out past the pain in his chest.

  “Cheating on you? No.”

  He backed up again and crouched on the ground, his stomach twisting violently. “I’m going to be sick.”

  The guy, whoever he was, smirked a little, then turned to Noah. “Looks like you have your hands full, babe. I think I’d better go to Buddy’s without you.” He kissed Noah’s cheek and then hurried past a hunched over Charlie. “I’ll call you later.”

  Noah knelt beside him. “Are you all right?”

  “All right? No, I’m not all right. My lover’s cheating on me.”

  “I’m not cheating on you. And…and why do you care anyway? I’m just a guy in the neighborhood you have sex with sometimes.”

  Charlie froze, his stomach clenching. He met Noah’s gaze. Noah had gone very pale. “How did you know about that?”

  Noah grimaced, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he said, “Come inside, Charlie. I think we need to talk.”

  Noah stood and reached down to assist Charlie up. Charlie’s legs wobbled, but Noah steadied him with his arm around Charlie’s shoulder. Charlie was a little surprised at the intimate contact considering everything, and even more surprised at how natural it felt. He allowed Noah to steer him into the house, his mind reeling. How could Noah have known about what he typed to Sly Cat? And who the hell was the guy with the motorcycle?

  Noah took Charlie’s hand, led him into the living room, and gently pushed him down on the couch. Noah sat beside him.

  “First, the guy who was here? He’s my friend, Kevin. You talked to him on the phone the other day, remember?”

  “Yeah.”

  “We don’t have sex, okay? Kevin is gay and so am I, but that doesn’t mean we do anything. We’re just friends. He’s my best friend. You have friends, too.”

  Charlie bit his lip and wanted to turn away, unwilling to admit to Noah he had no friends. But Noah wouldn’t let him. He grasped Charlie’s chin and forced him to meet his gaze.

  “Charlie?”

  “I don’t have any friends anymore, Noah.” God, he was pathetic. “They all dumped me after my parents’ death.”

  “That’s terrible. Why would they dump you?”

  “Why did you?” Charlie asked.

  Noah’s hazel eyes widened, and he released Charlie’s chin. “I didn’t.”

  Charlie sighed. “I’ve had…difficulty dealing with their death. Some of my friends wanted me to see a shrink and I refused. Others just disappeared after I wouldn’t go partying with them anymore.” He stared hard at Noah. “You were my only friend, Noah. And now you’re gone.”

  “I’m not gone, Charlie. But ever since we started having sex you’ve pulled away more and more. Like you made a mistake by sleeping with me.” Noah ran his fingers through his cropped hair. “Even before that you acted more like I was a pest than your friend. You certainly wouldn’t talk to me about anything.”

  He nodded. “I haven’t really been talking to anyone.”

  “Except Sly Cat.”

  Charlie stared at Noah for a minute, everything falling into place. If he had thought about it, Sly Cat seemed to know way too much about him in their conversations. Knew all the right things to say, all the right questions to ask.

  “You’re Sly Cat.”

  “Yes. I’m…I’m sorry I kept it from you. I didn’t intend to at first. I just—I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I guess I was surprised you could talk to Sly Cat, but didn’t really want to have anything to do with me.”

  “I did want to keep my distance,” Charlie admitted. “I don’t want to get close to anyone or I thought I didn’t. I don’t think I can lose anyone else.”

  Noah knelt on the floor in front of him and took his hands in his. “Sometimes you have to take chances in life, babe. I know you’re hurting. I know. But can you really tell me your parents would want you to shut yourself away like a hermit?”

  Charlie swallowed. “No. They wouldn’t. I’m sorry, Noah.

  “Sorry?”

  “For what I said or what I typed. I know, well, I can guess how you must have felt when you read them. I didn’t know it was you,” he finished lamely.

  “I know. Charlie, I’m okay with us not being lovers.”

  Charlie’s heart dropped into his gut. “You are?”

  “Yes,” Noah whispered. “I can be your friend. You don’t have to have sex with me just to have a friend. You talked to me as Sly Cat, you can talk to me as Noah. Lovers sometimes go away anyway.” Noah laughed a little shakily. “But I’ll always be your friend. Even if you have no one else, you’ll have me.”

  Charlie shook his head, panic setting in. “That’s not what I want.”

  Noah frowned. “You don’t want me to be your friend?”

  “No, no. I don’t want that.”

  Noah’s expression was crestfallen. “Oh.”

  “Noah, no.” Charlie prevented him from moving away. “I want more from you. I want you as my lover and my friend.”

  “But I thought—”

  “I know what you thought and what I said, but I’ve been thinking about this ever since you left me.”

  “I didn’t,” Noah protested.

  “Took a break from me then. I need to try to get past this, Noah. I want to get help and I want to take a chance on us.”

  Noah smiled. It was a very beautiful smile, Charlie realized. One he hadn’t seen near enough. It sent a jolt of excitement through him and his cock grew half-hard.

  “I want that too, Charlie,” Noah said. He leaned up and pressed his lips to Charlie’s.

  “Then you forgive me for being such a dick?”

  “Yes, if you forgive me for how I’ve acted lately. I’ve been trying to put distance between us ever since I got that message. I even stopped talking to you as Sly Cat. I’m sorry. I thought I needed to protect myself.”

  “I don’t need Sly Cat. I only need you.” Charlie returned the kiss and pulled him closer. “Take me to bed.”

  Noah stood and tugged him off the couch. They walked down the hall toward the bedroom. They both removed their own clothes, though Charlie stopped to admire Noah’s straining hard cock.

  “You want to finish?” Noah asked, grinning.

  Charlie laughed and finished undressing. He was suddenly eager. Okay, he was usually eager, but with their newfound closeness or relationship, whatever it was, he really wanted Noah.

  He crawled onto the bed and lay on his back.

  “Nope,” Noah said. He came to the bed with his cock already sheathed.

  Charlie raised a questioning eyebrow.

  Noah lay next to him on his back. “I want you to straddle me.”

  Excitement shot through him. Charlie scooped up the lube, but Noah’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

  “Nope,” Noah said again.

  “No?”

  Noah pulled him toward his face. “I’m going to use my tongue.”

  Charlie stared, swallowed. “You want me to—”

  “Uh-huh” Noah pulled him again.

  Charlie lowered himself onto Noah’s face, shaking a little. Noah’s tongue darted inside his hole.

  “Oh, God,” he moaned. Then he felt Noah’s fingers spread him and enter with his tongue. “Noah!”

  Noah continued to work his tongue and digits inside Charlie. It was fantastic. But in order not to smother Noah, Charlie held himself up by bracing himself with his arms. When he could stand it no longer, when he had to feel Noah’s cock within him, he pushed gently at Noah to disengage.

  “Now, please,” Charlie begged. He maneuvered down Noah’s body until he straddled the other man’s erection.

  Noah gr
ipped his hips and slowly lowered Charlie onto his cock.

  “Oh, my God,” Charlie gasped, as Noah’s cock found his prostate. He reached for his own erect penis, stroking furiously. It was so good with Noah. He didn’t know why he’d ever tried to pretend otherwise. They seemed to fit each other perfectly.

  Noah groaned, pumping harder and faster into him. Their gazes met, held, a silent intimacy passing between them. Charlie quaked with the intensity.

  “Charlie,” Noah whispered. “I love you.”

  His heart beat so hard it threatened to burst through his chest. The emotions swirling through him almost overwhelmed him. He sped up his hand strokes, so close to coming apart.

  “I can’t hold back any longer, Charlie.”

  “Don’t, I’m there,” Charlie answered, cum pouring out all over Noah’s stomach.

  Noah stiffened underneath him and moaned loud and long.

  Charlie collapsed on his lover, unwilling to separate from Noah just yet. He wrapped his arms around him and rested his head next to Noah’s heart.

  “Are you all right, babe?”

  Charlie smiled. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m very good.”

  “I’ll say.” Noah chuckled.

  Charlie kissed his chest. “I promise, Noah, I’ll talk to someone about the depression and stuff. No more pulling away. For either of us.”

  “I know you will. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Charlie exhaled, feeling a bit shaky. “Can I stay here tonight?”

  “You want to?”

  “Yes. And maybe later, we can wake up and make love again.”

  Noah rose a little and peered down at him. Charlie held his gaze. “Make love? Are you sure?”

  Charlie nodded and gulped. “Definitely sure.”

  Noah gifted him with his stunning smile. “Then, yes, stay with me, Charlie.”

  Charlie opened his mouth to say the words he thought he could never say again to anyone. At first he couldn’t get them to come out. Noah squeezed him close then. Charlie sighed and closed his eyes. “I love you, Noah.”

  THE END

 

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