Harnessed Passions

by Dee Jones

  Walking through the hallway that led from the kitchen to the front of the house, Daniel heard the soft voice of Louise coming from the library. He turned the corner and smiled at the older woman, the latest issue of Harper's Bazaar in her hand, her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose and a glass of cherry at her side. Thompson cleared away the remains of her late dessert from the small table to her right a she looked up and smiled.

  Daniel realized for the first time how vulnerable she appeared and how utterly alone she really was. He couldn't even begin to understand what it would be like to lose the one and only person you ever truly cared for; to sleep alone and sit alone, never again to have that one special person to talk with, never wanting to go through all the torture and struggle of falling in love with another person, only to risk losing to the destiny of fate once more.

  "What's the matter dear?" the older woman asked, bringing Daniel out of his private world. He smiled, taking up occupancy on the sofa.

  "Nothing much," he lied, trying to put as much normalcy into the evening as possible. "I just thought I'd come down for a nightcap before turning in."

  "I would have thought married life would have taken the precedence over liquor?" Louise chuckled softly. Daniel cleared his throat, unwilling to let the woman know just how wrong she was.

  "Nothing can take the place of a good brandy," he told her, standing and walking to the liquor cabinet.

  "Not even my daughter?" Suspicion and motherly curiosity echoing through the woman’s words as she watched Daniel pour his drink; distracted by the rumor she heard that evening about the two lovers occupying separate rooms on their wedding night. He thought for a few moments in silence, before answering, hoping to find the right words to relieve his mother-in-law’s mind.

  "Julia could make a drunk forget everything but her beauty," he said softly, his thoughts distracted as images of his bride floated before his eyes. A strange twinge seemed to grip his insides as he thought about how warm and soft she felt against him.

  "Then why aren't you upstairs with her, instead of down here?"

  "Mainly because she's not upstairs,” he answered, softly clearing his throat again. “She wanted some fresh air and went for a ride."

  "At night? Alone?" Louise's surprise and concern echoed in her tone. "What were you thinking, allowing her to go out alone in the middle of the night?"

  "It's hardly the middle of the night, Louise," Daniel corrected, trying to hide the sudden eruption of fear that seemed to leap into his throat. "Besides, you try and reason with your daughter when she has her mind set on something. It's not exactly a quilting bee you know."

  “That's true," the woman conceded. "She's just like her father." The two fell into silence as they each became consumed with their own thoughts. Daniel began to frown again; thoughts of his new bride riding the open fields alone seemed to consume him; why had he allowed her to just run out of the house? He should have followed her and tried to reason with her before the wedge between them grew wider. Sooner or later, things had to come to a compromise, but just exactly when was the real question.

  Minutes ticked by as minutes gave away to an hour, and then two. Daniel found himself alone in the library, waiting for Julia. Louise had grown tired over an hour ago and retired to her room, leaving him to pace the floor in solitude. His concern began to grow into anger and then back to concern. Something must have happened; she wasn’t a careless woman, and she knew better than to stay out this late at night, regardless of how angry she was.

  Taking his jacket from the hall closet by the front door, Daniel hurried down to the stables. If she was down there trying to avoid him by not coming back up to the house, making him worry about her for hours, he’d turn her over his knee and give her a whooping like she'd never known. That would teach her never to cross him again!

  The stables were nearly dark with only a single lantern left flickering on a hook next to the office door. Daniel strained to look around and saw the shadow of a man in one of the back stalls. He walked slowly through the rows of horses and saw Rally Overton brushing the swollen belly of Misty.

  "Mr. Brownin'," the older man said with a frown, turning to see his employer standing just outside the stall. "I wasn't 'spectin' ya t’night. Ever'thin' alright?"

  Rally quickly shuffled his feet in the hay that lay on the floor, as though he was trying to hide the disgraceful sight of his dirty, mud caked boots and the condition of his wet pant legs. The stable hands knew Daniel hated to see them looking like gutter-snipes, but right now he didn't take notice of the old man's appearance.

  "Not really. I was looking for my wife, have you seen her?"

  "Can't say's I have, but then I's just got back myself. I was out huntin' down Misty here. She got out a while back 'n with her colt just days off, I's didn't want her runnin' off and gettin' herself lost or fallin' 'n breakin' a leg."

  "Where does Julia usually ride when she goes out?" Daniel didn't really care much at the moment about the mare or her expected delivery; he was more interested in Julia and where she was and why she hadn't returned.

  “Ya mean she ain’t home? Why would she do a plumb fool thing like ridin’ out this time a night?”

  “Never mind that, Overton, have you seen her?”

  "No sir, I ain’t," the old man said, scratching the stubble on his chin. "But when she were a youngin', she would ride out ta the swimmin' 'ole, but she ain't been there since the little Farnsworth gal was found dead."

  "Who?"

  "Heather Farnsworth; she were Miss Julia’s best friend. She died out there at the pond. Miss Julia's blamed 'erself fer 'er death since then, po' lil’ thin'. Weren't none a 'er fault, but ya can't 'vince her of it. That’s why she done left Kin-tuckee, such grief she’s had in her all this time."

  "The swimming hole; you mean that pond north of here?"

  "Yes sir, that's the one. If'n ya want I'll go out with ya ‘n check it out?"

  "No, that won't be necessary. I'll find her." Daniel saddled Roustabout and walked him out of the stables just in time to see Dourn ride up. He looked tired and wet. Daniel narrowed his eyes when he saw his appearance.

  "Where have you been, Dourn?" he asked.

  "I's just' been lookin' the place over. Figer I's best be knowin' where I's goin' if'n I get lost 'n all."

  "Ya needs ta be gettin' ta bed now boy," Overton said sternly, stepping up behind Daniel, his eyes holding a secret warning only the two understood. "Ya coulda gotten hurt or hurt that there little filly yer ridin'. Night ain't no place to be out if'n ya don' know where yer goin'."

  Before Daniel could comment on the old man's accuracy, the sound of a horse came galloping up. She was back. Daniel's anger mounted as he thought of Julia returning so late. He was going to let her know exactly what he thought about her staying out so late and come tomorrow she wouldn’t be sitting very comfortably. Rally Overton was right; night was no time to be riding, whether you knew the lay of the land or not.

  Daniel turned and frowned as the chestnut colored horse came into view, but when he saw she had no rider, his anger gave way to panic. He took hold of the horse's reins stopping her, and inspected the saddle and bit. Everything was still in place, except for her rider.

  "Miss Julia, would never 'ave left 'er horse, Mr. Brownin'," Rally announced in a panicked tone. "Somethin' musta happened ta 'er." That declaration didn't exactly help Daniel's worries or fears any. He jumped on the back of Roustabout and looked down at the older man.

  "Get a couple of the hands and start searching," he ordered. "Dourn you come with me, we'll check out that swimming hole. Rally, you and the others spread out. We'll meet back here in two hours." The two men headed out toward the swimming hole where Overton had mentioned, pushing their horses to top speed. The worry Daniel had been feeling in the pit of his stomach was quickly approaching a level of shear panic. Julia may have been a spoiled brat, but she was not careless, that much he was certain of.

  They approached the swimmi
ng hole with a rush of anxiety. Daniel climbed down from his horse and called out to her, but found only the flutter of an owl answering in reply. It was possible she had been thrown from her horse, but then where was she? She wasn’t on the road back to the house and there was no visible sign of her anywhere. Dourn rode swiftly around to the east side of the pond where he dismounted his horse and headed into the brush hearing Daniel call out Julia's name. He stopped among the thick underbrush listening close for a reply, but hearing nothing more than the usual sounds of the night.

  As the two men came nearer each other, they confirmed there was nobody in sight with a shake of their heads. There was nothing; no animals, no birds, no Julia. An eerie silence encased the pond with only a few crickets to break the dread of quiet. The clearing was deserted, as was the brush, but then Daniel noticed the wet footprints leading out from the water and the smooth path left from something being dragged.

  "Look there," Dourn said, pointing to a dark piece of cloth near the bank. Daniel walked toward the object and stooped down, picking it up with his fingers. His breath caught in his throat and Dourn audibly gasped with fear. It wasn't a cloth at all; it was the breeches to Julia's riding habit and underneath was Julia, wet and cold and seemingly lifeless.

  "Oh dear God," Daniel whispered, praying aloud as he hurried around to her head where she lay on the bank of the pond, wet and dirty and covered with blood. He knelt down next to her and placed a gentle finger on the side of her neck.

  "Is she..." Dourn looked pale as he knelt beside his employer, yet strangely calm. Daniel shook his head.

  "She's alive, but barely. Help me get her up." They lifted Julia out of the thick tangle of branches and laid her gently to the dry grass behind them. Daniel could hear her breathing, but she sounded as though she was gargling. He rolled her over to her stomach and began pushing firmly on her back, praying silently.

  Dourn watched as water spilled from her mouth and nose, a soft cough escaping from the unconscious woman’s throat. It seemed rather barbaric but affective as Daniel continued to push on her back until the water turned to bile. As gently as he could, he picked her up in arms that felt as weak as a baby’s, cradling her to his chest. He carried her to his horse and handed her gently to Dourn to hold until he secured his seat in the saddle.

  "Get back to the house and send for the doctor, then tell Thompson to get her bed ready." He took Julia's lifeless body from the man and slowly turned the horse back toward the house. A few seconds later, Dourn raced past them running his mare at top speed back to the stables. Daniel held Julia tight, pleading with her softly to hold on and not leave him. He never felt so guilty in his whole life, as he did at this very moment. He blamed himself for her being in this condition. If he hadn't argued with her, if he had just kept his end of the bargain, none of this would have happened.

  Daniel vowed softly, never again to allow his emotions to interfere in his decisions. If only she would be alright, he would promise to never come near her again if that was what she wanted. He would never touch her, or kiss her, or try to make love to her, no matter how impossible the task seemed. He would keep his promise to her and keep his distance from their marriage bed.

  Julia moaned very softly, coughing weakly against the leather jacket Daniel was pulling around her shoulders. He held her close, listening to her weak breathing until they finally arrived home. Thompson hurried out the front door, taking Julia long enough for Daniel to climb off Roustabout’s back then took his wife once again in his arms and carried her into the old mansion. He began barking orders as he hurried to the den where the old butler insisted she be taken.

  Louise followed behind, watching as Daniel lay her daughter’s wet, lifeless body on the sofa. She felt faint as horror gripped her heart and soul, but quickly regained her composure when Jeremy came rushing down the stairs with an arm load of blankets joined by Mrs. Lester who brought some dry clothes for Julia.

  Julia began to shake, though Daniel wasn’t sure if it was from her wet clothes or the events that led up to her having them. A moment later, Bridget arrived with a pan of warm water and sat it on the small table next to Julia's head. Daniel began wiping away the dried blood from her forehead with a damp rag before moving aside to allow Louise to administer salve to her wound and a bandage to cover it up.

  Daniel sat back on the edge of the sofa, touching Julia’s cold face, gently whispering her name but getting no more of an answer than he had at the pond. He ignored everyone around him, as he quickly towel dried her long hair and began stripping off her wet clothes. Jeremy and Thompson stepped out into the hall, allowing Daniel the privacy he needed to ease his wife gently into a dry flannel nightgown.

  Louise, now recovered from thinking her daughter dead, sat in a chair next to the sofa, silently praying. She glanced to the young man who doted over the unconscious woman and sniffed back the tears that slowly slid down her cheeks. She knew the horror that came with the thoughts of death; she knew how it felt yet couldn't think of anything comforting to say.

  "Why don't you go get into some dry clothes?" she finally said, whispering softly as though afraid to wake Julia. Daniel stared at the woman with a frown creasing his brow and shook his head.

  "I’m not leaving her," he insisted.

  "You can go," Mrs. Lester spoke up, tucking in a third blanket around Julia's legs and arms. "We'll stay with her. She'll be fine." Daniel rarely talked back to the older woman knowing he could never win an argument with her, but this time he felt strong enough to compete. Leaving Julia right now was just too difficult; he had to stay with her, no matter what the outcome may be.

  "I said I’m not leaving her," he answered at last, his tone warning everyone near not to push his stance as the door opened and Jeremy stepped back into the room.

  Several silent minutes passed by, then an hour and Daniel found waiting for the doctor to arrive was harder than wondering how bad Julia really was. The more he paced the room, the worse the waiting got. He felt like a caged animal, feeling the tight confinements of the room closing in around him. The night slowly wore on and he couldn’t help but look at the clock again; half past one o’clock. Maybe Dourn hadn’t made it to town, maybe he wasn’t able to locate the doctor, he thought with a deep frown.

  Daniel stretched his neck as he sat back on the sofa next to his wife, counting the seconds with a soft growl. The ticking of the old grandfather clock in the hall combined with the crackle of the fire in the fireplace and the soft uneven breathing of his wife was making the wait seem impossible.

  "For heaven's sake, will you please sit down?" Louise insisted as he again began to walk the room. Watching Daniel's constant pacing back and forth was only making the situation worse and was quickly wearing on her nerves.

  "Where the hell is he?" Daniel snapped, looking back to Julia. "He should have been here hours ago."

  "Wearing out the carpet isn't going to get him here any faster," Mrs. Lester added from her perch in the chair next to Louise’s, feeling the same irritation her employer was struggling with. "Why don't we move her upstairs. Perhaps she'll rest better in her own bed." Daniel narrowed his gaze on the older woman.

  "Why don't you just go..."

  "Daniel!" Louise interrupted, forcing the man to leave his suggestion unfinished, watching as he ran his hands through his long hair. "It's going to be a long night. Why don't we all just try and get through this with as much dignity as possible. Mrs. Lester, I think the doctor will want some coffee when he gets here and I know I could use a cup. Please make a fresh pot and have Bridget help make some food."

  Mrs. Lester knew there was enough coffee made up to feed the small army of stable hands lingering on the front porch, and Bridget had already taken care of preparing sandwiches, but having something to do made the situation feel less tense and she quickly did as ordered.

  Daniel looked back to Louise, then to Julia. He had to get out of there; seeing her like this was killing him. He blamed himself for her again for her being
at death's door; if only…he thought silently. He leaned down next to Julia kissing her gently on the forehead, before heading to the door. He turned back around, looking at the pale flesh covering her delicate face and frowned. Louise smiled at the man, sympathy etched on her aging features. Daniel cleared his throat softly and looked back to the exit.

  "I'll go check on the horses," he said, knowing the stable hands had more than likely already bedded Biscuit and Roustabout down for the night. "Let me know when the doctor gets here." Louise nodded softly, knowing the man had no intention of going to the stables. He needed some air and a few minutes to collect his emotions, before being confronted with the facts of his wife's condition.

  Daniel walked alone in the moonlit night, trying to regain his composure. He was angry, frustrated and tired and it was beginning to play on his nerves. After spending the entire day at the stables, then the argument with Julia and the lack of supper made for a very long night. He glanced down the path to the stables and briefly remembered his excuse. He thought about going down and making sure Biscuit and his own stallion had been cared for, but it really didn't seem all that important. His concerns weren't with the stables, or the horses, or their condition. His worries lay inside, with his wife.

  The images of Julia laying beneath him, panting and moaning as he explored her delicate body made his eyes cloud over with unshed tears. He tried to block out the feelings of guilt, of self-persecution, but it just didn't work. He knew it was his fault; Julia was lying in that room fighting for her life because he couldn’t stay clear of her as he promised. His mind kept playing with the images of finding her unconscious and soaking wet by the pond, over and over. The feelings of terror raced through his soul as he thought of how fragile and helpless she looked.

  It was at that moment, as Daniel walked along in silence listening to the crickets and the owl in the old oak tree out front, that he realized the truth. A knot formed deep in his gut, as the thought began to take hold.