Harnessed Passions

by Dee Jones

  "You make me sound like a pile of horse shit," she teased with a sniff that forced the tears back for a little longer.

  "I'd never say that," he scolded softly, kissing the tip of her nose. "At least, never to your face." Julia smiled and hugged his strong neck before the tears finally proved victor and spilled down her cheeks.

  "Come on Princess," Daniel told her gently, lifting her chin with his finger. "You're going to miss your train." Julia nodded, but kept her hold on his waist unwilling to let go of him, just yet.

  "I'll take good care of her," Louise promised, smiling softly. Daniel returned her smile easing his wife out of his arms slowly.

  "I trust you, Louise. I also trust that you make certain she has a good time and spends an ungodly amount of money. I can't argue with her when she returns if she hasn't done anything wrong."

  "Just for that, I won't spend a single penny," Julia sniffed, straightening her back against his hand. Daniel and Louise chuckled and winked at each other as though to say they didn't for a second believe her.

  The sound of the train whistle echoed through the morning air and the deep voice to the heavy set aging conductor yelled out, "All aboard." Julia looked at Daniel and lifted her chin. She was determined to prove to her husband she planned on having a good time, regardless how many regrets or reservations she may have.

  He kissed her with the passion and love he had shown her last night and again this morning then hugged her against his chest once more. He watched the two women walk up the train steps and mount the smoking black beast, before Julia turned back around to wave to him. He smiled and waved back, fighting the strain of tears that flooded to his eyes. He refused to make a spectacle of himself in front of so many strangers, even though the urge to run after her and drag her home swelled up inside him.

  Daniel stood there, demanding his body obey as he watched Julia move past the rows of seats, seeing her fully through the large glass windows. He had told her and showed her how much it hurt him to let her go, but insisted it was for the best and they would be together soon. He couldn't allow her to think he was regretting his decision to protect; after all, he was her knight in shining armor.

  Julia found her seat, stored her small satchel beneath the leather cushion and quickly turned to the window waving eagerly at the man watching her. She quickly pulled her hat from her head and stuck the pin in the tip of her finger, flinching from the sudden pain. She would use that small amount of pain to help her focus on restraining her tears. She knew it was a stupid thing to do, but learned a long time ago a small amount of pain - a very small amount - was useful in distracting her thoughts from those more threatening. She refused to let Daniel suffer any further for her unwillingness to surrender to his logic. She had seen him take a step toward her when she boarded and knew he was fighting the urge to come after her. She wouldn't make him regret this day or the decision she eventually agreed to.

  Daniel continued to watch as the train slowly pulled away from the station, waving one last time to Julia before her beauty vanished in a puff of dense, black smoke. One way or the other he had to put an end to all these accidents and the accusations leaning toward her. He had to put Julia's ghosts to rest and see to it she never had to fear them again. He would do whatever it took to provide her with a quiet peaceful, boring existence; one where the only thing she had to fear was being loved too much by the man who adored her.

  The buildings were large, many old and most looked as though they went on forever, each one reaching out their roof tops toward heaven, eager to mingle among the clouds. People passed by taking little notice of Julia standing there beside her mother, observing their every move. She frowned so deeply her brows creased her delicate forehead, the corners of her mouth pulling down in a very obvious manner of rejection. This wasn’t the Boston she remembered; it had been a different place, a friendlier place with smiling faces, handsome men in tall hats, beautiful women in expensive gowns. This was not the same place she had left a few short months before. It was as though someone had come by and replaced her memories with ones she didn't recognize. The sights before her were so strange; nothing seemed to be as it should. This Boston was larger, colder and contained people she didn't recognize with names she had never heard.

  Julia thought about the last time she stood on this very platform preparing to leave Massachusetts for what she assumed was to be for only a few days - a couple of weeks at the most. She had dreaded seeing her father again, listening to his endless arguments and insisting on her staying at the family ranch. She remembered telling her aunt how desperately she wanted to get her visit over with so she could return to a normal routine.

  Her plans were once very narrow minded; her life was an endless array of parties and shopping with her friends and aunt. The sport of her harmless flirting with handsome young men of the wealthier side of Boston life, were on her list of utmost importance, but that was then. Now she could hardly wait to go home.

  Mayfield may be smaller and less active than this congested town, but it held more interest for her than parties and nobility once did. It held her heart, her very life; by reins of firm, solid muscles, longer than normal blondish-brown hair and turquoise eyes, bluer than the deepest sea. Her life was wrapped tightly in a cocoon of passion amidst the embrace of her husband's harnessed passions.

  Julia stood beside her trunks and bags still staring out over the crowded streets until Louise nudged her elbow gently and nodded toward the tall thin woman waving eagerly to them. Her hair, much like Julia and Louise's was dark and long, pinned neatly on the top of her head in an elegant bun; her slender frame draped in dark orange chiffon and her energetic smile flashed like precious pearls as she hurried to them.

  "She certainly doesn't look like the mother of four, does she?" Louise complained with envy as she watched her younger sister hurrying toward them.

  "You never looked like the mother of two," Julia smiled, reminding her mother of just how much stock she had always put in her own personal appearance. Louise lifted her chin slightly and smiled, pleased by her daughter's compliment.

  "Jules, Louie," Lena shouted, hurrying over to them with as much dignity as a mayor's wife could provide in public.

  "I hate that name," Louise grumbled, forcing a smile across her lips while she waved back to her approaching sister.

  "It could be worse," Julia added with a wave of her own. "You could have been named after Grandma Horner. Just think, Hilda Horner Turner," the two chuckled softly thinking about Victor’s overbearing British grandmother, who adored her family and lived to be a hundred and four.

  Hugs and kisses were exchanged as the three women greeted each other on the platform of the train station. Louise had not seen her little sister, since she had brought Julia to live here, five years ago. In all that time, Lena had not aged or changed a bit. She was still starkly attractive and as hyper as a pent up hornet as Louise's brother-in-law Rupert had been heard to complain.

  Lena took hold of her sister and niece by the arms, ordering the young man she had brought with her to bring the bags. They walked casually toward the waiting Victoria. Louise stared at the slipper shaped carriage and groaned. She knew her little sister had an expensive taste, but to own something as elegant and extravagant as this, went beyond imagination.

  The four-wheeled, elegant contraption actually resembled a giant slipper. It's collapsible top, although presently up, promised an excellent experience when driven through the park; top down and the wind and sun brilliantly tinting the cheeks of its occupants. As beautiful as it was on the outside, was nothing compared to the lush interior. Its plush upholstery was made of soft leather in the brilliant shade of blue-green, which reminded Julia painfully of her husband's eyes. Just the thought of Daniel forced Julia to suddenly restrain herself from crying out his name.

  "Julia," Lena said, brushing a loose strand of dark hair from her face. Julia had been so consumed with memories of the man she hoped was waiting for her back home, she hadn't notic
ed the conversation between sister's had wound down. "I asked about this man you married. What's his name, David?"

  "Daniel," Julia was quick to correct her aunt, feeling the emptiness build inside her again.

  "Well, what's he like? Knowing your taste in men he has to be handsome." Julia smiled softly, the image of her husband danced in front of her emerald eyes as she envisioned how to describe him.

  "He's not bad," was all she could think to say and this she did with a soft blush.

  "Not bad?" Louise snorted through the comfortable confines of the elegant coach. "For heaven's sake, Julia, you make him sound like a new pair of shoes. Daniel," she continued, turning to enlighten her little sister, "is the most handsome man in all of Kentucky, and he used to be the most sought after bachelor until my beautiful daughter here got her claws into him. He's tall and dark and muscular, but he's in desperate need of a haircut, although I can't complain about the way he treats Julia. He positively adores his wife."

  The ride back to the mayor's mansion flew by as Louise described Daniel down to the small dimple in his chin, which most people over look; Julia certainly hadn't noticed it the first time she'd seen him. Daniel's vision took on clarity as Louise continued with her verbal appraisal of the man, making her feel even more homesick than she had a few minutes ago. She mentally began counting off the days until she returned home where she knew she belonged.

  Forty-five days and forty-four nights; but unfortunately it was the nights that were going to be the hardest. Julia sighed. She was tired and hungry and her feet and legs hurt from the many long hours of sitting in one place. Although they had private berths, the train had been hot and dusty and she longed to be in a cool tub, surrounded by tons of fragrant bubbles; a luxury for having indoor plumbing.

  Julia closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun shining through the side window of the carriage. She envisioned Daniel again, his chest bare and his eyes smiling at her as he joined her in the bath as had had at his flat the morning after he introduced her to the device. He kissed her lips and brushed the bubbles from her nose, before kissing her there too. He held her wet eager body against his warm hard chest, thrilling her beyond the point of ecstasy. She could feel his body pressing against her, her fingers tangling in the dark wet locks her mother insisted needed cut. Her skin tingled as she imagined Daniel kissing her - everywhere. His hands molded to her, caressing and pleasing her until Julia felt herself blush. She glanced up hoping her mother and aunt had not seen her expression. Their talking and gossiping was all too consuming for them to notice she was even with them until the horses came to a halt.

  "We'll get you two settled and I'll have cook prepare you something to eat," Lena announced, stepping out of the rolling slipper. "Rupert will be home soon. He's been just as anxious for you to arrive as the children have."

  "What about their new nanny?" Julia asked suddenly, remembering she was no longer her cousins’ center focus. "Won't my being here distract her schedule?"

  "Heaven's no. Beatrice knows you're a part of the family and she also knows how attached the children are to you. I'll tell you though; if it wasn't for the children's school lessons I'd have had to bring them along with me. They were so excited when we got your telegram."

  "What's this Beatrice of yours like?" Julia felt a strange twinge of jealousy, wondering if the children took to their new governess better than they had her.

  "Oh she's fine I suppose. I don't much care for her personally, but she comes highly recommended and the children seem to respect her. She's nothing like you though. She's five hundred years old, skinny as a twig, solid grey hair and wears little glasses on the tip of her nose, plus she has a nasty habit of snorting, bad sinuses she says. Good heavens, would you believe she even snores?" The three women laughed aloud with the image Lena was painting for them.

  Later that same day Julia met the woman who had taken over her position. She wasn't quite as bad or as rough as Lena had described, but she did snort often and quite loudly and that evening the sound of heavy snoring could be heard echoing down the hall. Rupert would have sworn - and he often did - the house was going to collapse under the woman's annoying vibrations.

  The day's hectic schedule of visiting, reminiscing and settling in, had made for an early night and Julia found herself asleep before the sun set in the clear blue sky. Before blowing out the lamp though, she took the small diary she had brought with her from the nightstand and slid the calendar out from between the pages. With a large red X, she marked off her first day. Only forty-four more to go before she'd be back in Daniel's arms; the thought of him rocked her gently to sleep, lulling her in a dream of love, security and happiness.

  The smell of fresh baked pastries floated out to the street from the small bakery, making Julia's stomach complain with a soft grumble. Lena and Louise had practically dragged her from her bed, insisting they go shopping before the stores began to get overrun. Julia knew however, there was little chance of this happening. The shops her aunt was most familiar with were privately owned and very expensive. Few people patronized them and those who did, spent an outrageous amount of money and rarely stopped by without an appointment.

  "I think we should feed this girl before the city begins to think we brought Beatrice along with us," Lena teased upon hearing Julia's stomach again. Deciding on an early lunch; early to Lena's standing since it was only eleven forty-five and she rarely ate before two; she led the way into the small cafe on the corner and exchanged greetings, waves and smiles with several of the customers present as they proceeded to their table.

  "It must be hard being so popular," Louise teased, sitting down in the chair the waiter held out for her.

  "It's the curses that go along with being the mayor's wife, I suppose. There's just no chance of re-election if you're rude to the people."

  "So Rupert is hoping for a re-election?"

  "He says he still has so much work to do, he has to stay in another term, but if you ask me," Lena added, leaning closer to the two women. "He just doesn't want to have to return to a real job." The three women laughed softly trying hard not to attract too much attention.

  They continued chatting, exchanging stories and tales, until the waiter came to take their order. Julia ordered the house special; roast beef on sour dough bread with potato salad and green beans, while Lena and Louise both agreed on a simple chef's specialty garden salad with iced tea. Julia fell into a silence of her own, listening with little true interest to the women who continued their antidotes and predictions for the future of politics and the economy, neither of which they knew or understood.

  The sun shining through the curtains had a hypnotic effect, causing Julia to drift into a state of complete relaxation. She found keeping her eyes open to be a true battle and one she was quickly losing. She tried hard to concentrate on her mother's conversation, but couldn't comprehend for a second what she was being said. Julia turned her attention to her aunt, but found Lena no more of a distraction than her mother had been. Finally, the sedation of the sun and the warmth of its heated glow through the window panes won out and Julia began to drift into a lulling slumber.

  "Wake up Julia before people start to stare," her mother scolded. Julia's eyes popped open, suddenly aware of the disapproving glare from the older woman. "Good heavens, if you're that tired you should have said something."

  "I'm sorry mother. It's just so relaxing here; I can't seem to keep my eyes open."

  "Don't be so hard on the child," Lena insisted, smiling sympathetically to her. "Once she has some food in her stomach, she'll wake up." The two women kept Julia awake, involving her in their conversation, asking her questions and verbally forcing her to respond until their meals arrived. They ate with haste insisting on taking in a shop or two before returning home.

  So far that day, they had stopped at four shops, bought two pairs of shoes and three hats, all of which were utterly inappropriate for the life of a horse breeder's wife, and now they were being measured for new
gowns. The idea of sleep no longer threatened Julia's composure or her mother's embarrassment, but she was certain given a moment's rest, she could easily fall into a peaceful coma.

  She stood on a small wooden stool behind the curtain in a room filled with fresh flowers, draped windows and a number of bolts of material. She felt like a child's doll, first lifting one arm than the other, turning this way and that, while the woman measured and re-measured taking note after note of her size.

  "You've gained a whole inch in your waist," the older French woman said, with a sniff of disapproval. "You've gained nearly that much in your hips as well. What have you been doing in that dreadful one horse town you've been visiting? If you're not careful young lady, you'll be the size of an elephant by the year's end." Julia smiled at the woman's complaints. She had listened to the lectures and importance of whale-bone corsets and growing popularity for bustles for so long; her harshness no longer had an effect on her.

  "Well, Adaline," Lena stepped in, defending the young woman's honor. "That's what happens when you get married. Your attentions are preoccupied and dieting just doesn't take the effort it once did."

  "That's no excuse," the woman insisted bitterly, brushing a long grey strand of hair from her narrow thin face. "If anything, your weight should be the most important subject on your mind. What if you become fat and lazy and your husband no longer finds you interesting? Then you don't even have your looks to fall back on once he leaves you for some little thing with the shape of a goddess. You’ll be at the doctor’s office three times a week like all the other lonely housewives in town."

  "There's no danger there," Louise argued, as a younger woman took her measurements. "Daniel is very devoted to Julia and insists she's too thin. I'm sure he'll be delighted to know she's gained weight."

  "Ridiculous," the woman grumbled with a heavy accent and left the room to find some fabric. Lena and Louise snickered like school girls at her departure.