My Soldier: A Miliatary Romance

by Holt, Leah

  But there was nothing, except my labored breaths and small indentations. I didn't even have enough strength to crack the surface.

  My arms felt as heavy as lead even though they looked thinner than I had ever seen them before. I went to sleep with the arms of a man, and woke up with the arms of a twelve year old boy.

  That was not a happy feeling. I felt useless, frail, broken.

  I was a soldier. Even after my leg was torn apart, I didn't feel this weak. At least then, I was alert, I was able to still use my arms. This, this was different...

  Every inch of my body had changed, withered away to an eternal sleep that maybe I shouldn't have woken up from.

  Maybe I wasn't supposed to survive this time around?

  A soldier who had been saved, sent back to save another.

  My purpose had been fulfilled, my objective reached. Avni was safe, she had been protected and given a new life. Maybe I had somehow bypassed my fate.

  Was it possible that her fate was to meet me, her destiny was to be brought back from the edge of darkness.

  And I should have slipped away, my soul becoming one with the air around me?

  But I didn't. I woke up, I kept breathing when everyone around me condemned me to die. They said their goodbyes before they had finished saying hello.

  Goodbyes?

  Was that what I was hearing?

  The endless sea of voices that have no shape, no form, no face.

  Are these the voices of my goodbyes?

  Only I wasn't saying it back, I wasn't ready.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Avni

  Peeking my head into the door, I stood for a second and just watched. Levi was sitting up in the bed, and a nurse stood at his feet.

  He looked tired and sore. His hands were curled around a small weight, lifting it to his chest. Each raise of the two pound weight seemed to look like it weighed fifty. He was struggling, grunting every time he had to bend his forearm.

  “Fuck, I can't believe how much this hurts.”

  “Well, Levi, it's only been a week. Don't get discouraged, it takes time, but you're already improving.” Nurse Robin tracked his exercise on her clipboard, keeping a clear record of his pulse, heart rate, and oxygen level.

  Robin lifted her head and nodded me into the room. “Hey, how you feeling?” I asked Levi, running my arm over his shoulder.

  “Shit hurts, and I look like an eighty year old grandma doing her daily vitalift routine.” Chuckling under his breath, small beads of sweat trickled over his temples.

  Levi had been pushing himself so hard since he woke up. I knew he didn't like feeling incapable of doing things for himself. He had been the picture of male muscle, a wall of pure concrete.

  After so much time left dormant and stale, his body had changed to one he no longer recognized.

  To me; he looked just as good as day one. His spirit was his strength now, his ability to joke had become his muscle.

  And I couldn't wait for the day we could go home and he could take me again. I needed him, in so many ways.

  My body had been in overdrive since seeing his cock firm after he broke his sleep-filled silence. And watching the sweat across his forehead only forced images of us being together into my brain.

  “Don't let him fool you, Avni. He's already doubled his reps since two days ago. He's a man on a mission.” Robin giggled as she tapped Levi's shoulder with her clipboard. “Alright, we're done for today, I'll see you tomorrow morning.”

  “Thanks, Robin. Tomorrow I'll do some laps around the building, how's that sound?”

  “Funny, Levi, but don't think I won't have you out there when you're able to.”

  “Are you sore?” Sitting on the thin mattress, the bed creaked as I scooted beside him.

  “A little, but it feels good. I like the burn, Baby.” Winking, he curled his hand over my thigh. “Where's your mom and Liv? I thought they were coming today?”

  “They are, they're downstairs in the gift shop. Liv spotted something sparkly inside so my mom took her in to check it out. They should be up soon, or not. You know how Liv is.”

  Laughing, his hand drifted up closer to my needy button. “So we have a few minutes then?” His mouth spread open, teeth biting down on his lower lip.

  “I wish, but here there's no such thing as alone time. Not with all the nurses coming in and out, and random doctors coming to eye the miracle man himself.” Nudging him with my elbow, I laughed.

  “Miracle man, huh? Is that what they're calling me?”

  “Yup, that's your new nickname around here.”

  The distinct squeal of Liv sounded over my shoulder. Turning to the door, she was holding a small plastic bag, and waving it wildly in the air.

  “Hey guys, sorry, Liv got a little sidetracked.” My mom stepped in behind her, guiding Liv to the chair against the wall.

  “Hey Mom, glad you guys made it out alive.” Tossing her a smile, I waved at my sister.

  “Ha! Yeah, twenty dollars later. Damn hospital inflation.” Shaking her head, she walked over to Levi and gave him a hug. “How you feeling, Hun?”

  “I feel good, but my body feels like it ate itself.” Holding his arms out, Levi wiggled his thinner than normal limbs. Waving his hand at my sister, he used it to signal her over.

  Liv was smiling, her eyes bright and excited as she jiggled the bag at her waist. Levi held his fingers up, and used his hands to do the one thing I never expected him to do.

  He signed to my sister. His fingers moved awkwardly and square to sign, 'hello,” then spelled out L.I.V.

  My jaw hung open, brows arched in confusion. “Did you—”

  “Yes, yes I did.” Again he signed the words he was speaking while smiling at my sister.

  “When did you learn that?” I was struck with a surge of happiness and tears that mimicked my feelings. The water streaked my cheeks, lips raising up so high they hit my ears.

  “Robin knows sign language, so I asked her to teach me some. I wanted to learn so I could talk to your sister, and so you guys can't talk about me without me knowing.” Levi winked at my sister, and signed, 'Now we can talk a little.'

  Liv let out a high pitched chirp, giggling and rocking in place. Holding the bag out, she handed it to Levi, and told him to look inside. Opening the bag, Levi glanced at my mom.

  My mother was smiling, holding her head on her chin. “Yeah, I thought Liv had spotted something she wanted, but I was shocked when she told me she wanted it for you. She never does that, so you must be pretty special, Levi.”

  Reaching his hand in, he pulled out a small frame. The trim was decorated in small beads and tiny purple metals. The outside rim had an American flag in the upper corner, and the word hero was spelled across the top. “For me?,” he signed to my sister.

  She lit up, her face grew pink, cheeks bubbling up in joy. Nodding her head yes, she pointed to the word on top, then pointed at Levi.

  For the first time ever, I saw him choke up. Levi took in a sharp breath, his fingers squeezing tightly around the frame. “Thank you,” he said, hand folding out from under his chin.

  And she was right. He was a hero.

  Levi had become my hero.

  The father of my child had put my safety above all else.

  My brother had sent him to me, he had put Levi into my world.

  Fate had been a word I couldn't believe in before.

  Now, I couldn't ignore it.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Levi

  Growling under my breath, I forced the weight up for another rep. The burning was intense, it hurt like hell; but it never felt better.

  It'd been one month since I woke up. One long, hard month. I've had to work every day with physical therapists, weight trainers, doctors, all poking and prodding at my body like I was some kind of science project.

  The doctor had told me I was lucky. He'd prepared to write my time of death, expected to be signing off on my death certificate.

  And
when I kept going, when my lungs kept refilling without help... He said he had hope, very little hope, but hope nonetheless.

  I had been shot in the ribs, the bullet pierced my lung and exited through my back. That was lucky strike number one.

  According to what the doctor said, during the fight Vito had pulled out a knife and stabbed me multiple times while we fought.

  My skull, back, right shoulder, and stomach bore the scars that once held stitches. The shot collapsed my lung, and the coma had been a result of severe swelling in my brain.

  Dr. Gough said he couldn't explain how I was still alive, but I was. And each day, I worked my fucking ass off to get my life back.

  Avni was getting closer to having the baby, her stomach was growing, the baby was kicking so much I could see it now, and all I wanted was to be able to help her when the baby came.

  The last thing she needed to be doing was caring for a new baby and a burden of a boyfriend who needed her for everything. No damn way, she was going to need me, and so was my daughter.

  A week after I woke, a Detective West showed up to talk to me about what happened that night. I told him what I could remember, which wasn't much.

  Remembering to leave out the most vital detail; Kevin's connection to Vito. It was the only thing Avni wanted to keep out of the public's eye, and away from her family's ears.

  I hadn't forgotten that, her sacred oath to protect her brother. I held that need high, Kevin deserved his demons to be kept in the dark.

  But I told the detective what happened to Avni, how I left in a rage to find her attacker 'Vito' and kill him.

  When he was standing at the edge of my bed; and I was spewing out how angry I was with Vito, how much I wanted him to pay; I waited for the cuffs to trap me in place.

  I was basically saying that I had gone to find him, I wanted him dead, I was planning on killing him; but I couldn't remember anything after leaving Avni's house.

  The detective never did what I thought he would, he never pulled the shiny metal from his hip. He wrote in his yellow notepad, then nodded in agreement, or confusion, or whatever the fuck it was he was nodding to.

  It was strange though, he never asked me how I knew Vito was the guy. I found it hard to tell what he was even thinking. He didn't really make any facial expressions, or vocal tones that would help me figure out what was running through his brain.

  I wasn't sure if I was going to trade my white angel's cloak for an orange devil's jumpsuit.

  The detective had short peppered hair, youthful eyes, and a Dick Tracy trenchcoat. His hair was brushed back smooth, his legal notepads were decades behind the smartphone of his colleagues. It was funny, he looked like he stepped right off the page of a comic book.

  After his questions—after he shifted his legs, wiped his pen across his jaw, and scrunched his brows multiple times for no apparent reason—he squeezed my knee and smiled.

  “Mr. Hite, I want to clarify something here.” Shifting closer on the edge of his chair, he spoke low and clear. “You. Did. Not. Kill. Vito Sanchez.” His back rolled up slowly, one vertebrae at a time. “You beat the living piss out of him, which was rather impressive considering your state, but he didn't die from the injuries you gave him.”

  In my head, I was certain that I had killed him. There was no way that all my rage hadn't bubbled over into a split second of temporary insanity. I had fucking lost it.

  Veering my stare, I shot him a crooked glance. “What? Are you sure? I mean like I said before, from what I remember, I was looking to rip that fucking guy's head off.”

  “Vito died from injuries he sustained in the accident. His face was beyond unidentifiable, but you didn't kill him, Levi.”

  That was it, the rest was mostly formalities. Questions he needed to ask in order to complete his case file and close it. According to his report, I had attacked Vito in self defense. The accident was just that; an accident.

  And I operated in complete compliance with my rights to protect myself. That was what it said on paper, that was what it said according to the detective's closed case.

  But I knew, I knew what I felt, and I knew what I set out to do. Vito had taunted me with his evil tether. I exploded, I lost complete control.

  The report could say whatever it wanted. The only thing that mattered to me was he was gone. The horrible storm that had clouded our world vanished, there would be no more threats, no more demands.

  No more of that piece of shit touching my woman.

  Avni became mine, all of her. She wasn't afraid anymore to love, to let go, to live.

  Watching the muscle firm beneath my skin, satisfaction coated my body in a swift wave of tingles. I was using my muscles, I was lifting my arms more and more every day with ease.

  It wasn't easy, I had to learn everything all over again. How to close my fingers with strength, how to coordinate my hand to my lips, how to walk again.

  For a second time, I had to learn how to put my feet in motion. But I was determined, I was going to be there for Avni and our daughter.

  No matter how much I had to work to earn it all over again, it was worth every inch of agony. I planned on holding my daughter the day she was born, I planned on helping Avni in any way I could.

  And when the time was right, and we were settled...

  I planned on walking her over the threshold.

  “Hey, Babe.” The delicate melody hit my ears, her smile shifting up on one side. “I got you something.” Avni danced on her toes over to the chair I was sitting in.

  “Oh you did, huh? What, what did you get me?”

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Close my eyes?” Shooting her a stiff glance, I held my fingers up to my face.

  “You're keeping them up? Your fingers— They— Wow, Levi! That's incredible!”

  “Come on, I can't do this all day. What's your surprise?” Smirking, I let my elbows fall heavily to my shoulders. “They're getting heavier, too heavy, Avni! I can't—”

  “Stop it, you're such a punk.” Smacking my ribs with a quick snap, Avni giggled. “Okay, open.” Holding up a small white box, she let it rest inside her palm. “Surprise!”

  “Yay, a box. Really, Avni, this is too much.” Crushing my fingers into my chest, I squeezed my heart.

  Her lips pulled thin, head tilting to the side. “You know it's too bad your sense of humor wasn't as weak as your muscles.” The corner of her mouth tugged high, brow following in suit.

  “That hurt, Princess... That one was cold.” Gripping the thin shirt against my chest, I let my body keel over to the side.

  “Will you just open it already.” Avni dug her nails into my knees, leaning in close.

  The scent of her hair drifted up into my nose, cucumber and chamomile hit my brain, sending a sensory overload to my nerves.

  Inhaling deeper, I kissed the top of her scalp. “Alright, alright.” Pulling the small yellow ribbon, it loosened around the edges, slipping off into my hand.

  Eagerly, Avni chewed on her fingernails, eyes open as round as saucers. Her brown eyes had been taking on different colors. I wasn't sure if it was her new outlook on life, or if it was the fact that for months I was denied the pleasure of seeing them.

  I had taken her beauty for granted, not fully appreciating all the colors of who she was. The brown in her stare now gleamed golden and tan, the deep mahogany filling in the center clawed out stripes through the bright hues.

  “Come on, stop staring at me and open it.”

  “I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're just so damn beautiful.” Popping the top of the box, I let it drop off onto my lap.

  I sat bewildered for a moment. Tugging on the chain, it was a set of dog tags. The small silver ovals twirled under the florescent lighting.

  What is it? Is that?

  It wasn't a typical set of tags. There was no name, no birth date, nothing. But there was an image etched into the shiny metal. A perfectly carved image in the mirror finish.

  Flicking my eyes up, I
saw a tear drip over her cheek. Wiping away another, she asked, “Can you tell what it is?”

  “Is that our baby?”

  Nodding 'yes,' Avni squeezed my hand. “That's the ultrasound image from two months ago, right before you woke up. We can get the rest filled out after she's here; her name, weight, and birthday. And you can add it to the other tag, or however you want it.”

  “Avni, it's beautiful.”

  “You didn't get to come to any of those appointments, and I want her to be with you. After you're all better, and if you need to leave us for any reason, you'll always have her with you.”

  “I'm not going anywhere, Avni.”

  “Levi, you know what I mean. Not that you'll leave us, but being a soldier comes with a hefty price. I never want you anywhere without our daughter close at heart.”

  “Avni, you don't understand. I mean I'm really not going anywhere. I talked to my Sergeant, I have a transfer coming my way.” My lip curled, eyes narrowing down my nose.

  Shock and disbelief coated her face. Her brows shot up against the hairline, eyes wide and darting between mine. Avni wasn't sure what I meant. “What? A transfer? Where are you going?”

  Cupping her jaw, I pulled her in. “Nowhere, I'm going to be right here. I'm going to be recruiting for the Army from now on. I've had two chances at life, and I figured, how lucky can one man be?” My shoulders reached towards my ears, shrugging in realization. “I don't want to take any more chances, I'm pretty sure that this was my last one. And I don't want to waste one second away from you. I love you and I need to be with you. I can't be without you, Avni.”

  Her tears fell fast, eyes blinking rapidly trying to wipe them away. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, I'm serious.”

  Avni had become my world. She stayed by my side when I was at my darkest. Avni kept believing when others had said there was no hope.

  She kept our baby, she wanted to give life to our child.

  And for that, I could never leave her again. There was no way in hell I was going to play Russian roulette with my life anymore.