by Drew Sera
“So, did you finally decide, Anth?” Colin asked me while we were out on the golf course.
“Yep. It’s all set now. Construction begins as soon as the architect firm gets my deposit on Monday.”
“Congrats, Anth,” Matt said as he walked toward us from the tee. “I can’t wait to see the fort.”
“Yeah, me too. You’ve only been talking about this cabin since the fall,” Colin joked.
I shrugged.
“I wasn’t settling for just any cabin.”
“Most people who want a cabin either buy an existing one or get a cookie cutter cabin among other cabins where roads are already in existence. You, on the other hand,” Matt paused and put his driver in his golf bag. “You buy land at nearly twelve thousand feet—”
“Completely secluded, mind you,” Colin said, interrupting Matt.
“Completely secluded. And then, then if that’s not enough, you hire an architecture firm to help you create a cabin that will be unlike anything else out there,” Matt said.
“And no one will get to see the thing because it’s so secluded and tucked away,” Colin added.
I knew they were just teasing me. I’ve been showing Colin and Matt plans for my cabin each time I get the revisions from the architects, and they’ve been giving me their opinions. I decided last fall that I wanted a retreat to get away from time to time. Brian Head, Utah was only about a three hour drive from Vegas, and they had snow each winter. I found some prime land way up on a mountain overlooking the ski slopes that were on the mountain opposite where I planned to put the cabin.
Matt slapped me on the back and said, “Anth, you’re the only guy I know who’d drop nearly two million dollars on a cabin for a vacation spot when his main house isn’t even a quarter of the size.”
“I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet in a new place here. I’m looking, but nothing has hit me yet as being ‘the place.’ I’m sure it’ll pop up, eventually.”
“Get a place in the neighborhood here. Then you can be by Matt and me.”
I shook my head at Colin.
“This is a really nice neighborhood, Col, but the houses are so big.”
Matt and Colin both laughed.
“Anth, you’re building a four thousand square foot cabin!” Colin said.
I laughed along with them and nodded.
“These yards are huge here. It’s too much of a house for me,” I explained.
“Think down the road though. What if you find a Mrs. Graves? Maybe a little Anthony Jr.?” Matt joked.
“No, not happening. Ever.”
I think the quick change in the tone of my voice made them worry a bit.
“You’ll meet the girl eventually,” Colin said.
“No. I’m not long-term boyfriend material. You guys know that.” Matt and Colin glanced at each other. “Besides. I had a vasectomy years ago. I won’t have kids.”
Colin tried shifting the conversation some.
“So, we’re looking for a new house for you without a big backyard.”
I nodded and agreed with them, and we continued on with our golf game.
Chapter Ten
November 2000
“Thanks again for coming with me to get some stuff moved in,” I said to Colin as we began our drive up to my cabin.
“No problem, Anth. I’m dying to see the place.”
Before we began the climb up the mountain, we stopped at a fast food place to eat.
“Do you have any food for the cabin?” Colin asked as I shoveled my cheeseburger into my mouth.
I stared at him and then he laughed and shook his head.
“Fuck,” I said once I swallowed. “There’s a grocery store at the base of the mountain, we can stop there.”
Colin and I were staying the weekend, so I guess we better have some food. I was looking forward to some downtime and enjoying my new place. I had ordered furniture and appliances and met the delivery people a few weekends ago. This weekend was to take up some linens and a few odds and ends. Assuming everything goes smooth, Colin, Matt and I might spend Christmas up here this year.
After the grocery store, we headed up the mountain.
“The scenery is so nice. Do you ski, Anth?”
“No. I’ve never been out in the snow.”
Colin laughed and shook his head, which caused me to laugh.
“Fuck, Anth. You’re something. Almost two million on a cabin and you’ve never been in the snow.”
I smirked. I just wanted a peaceful retreat where I can relax.
“Do you ski?” I asked him.
“I haven’t in years. But, each winter, my parents used to take my brother and me to Tahoe. When we were really little, we’d sled and just play in the snow. But they eventually taught us how to ski. The November they died, it would have been our third winter skiing.”
“Have you been on the slopes since?” I asked.
“Oh yeah. Matt and I went to Big Bear and Aspen a lot while in college.”
“Is he excellent on the slopes too?”
“Yep. Matt is just a natural at anything athletic. He’s always been like that since we were little. Baseball, football, snow sports…golf, of course.”
I nodded. Matt was great at golf. Someday, I might beat him at it. I slowed my truck and turned onto the narrow, winding road that would take us to my cabin.
“This is the road that takes us to the two million dollar cabin?” Colin asked.
“Yep. A lot of the cost was creating the road. It’s pretty visible now because the appliance and furniture deliveries were here a few weekends ago. And thankfully it hasn’t snowed too much to cover the road. The Brian Head association people told me to call whenever I’m coming up, and they’ll plow my road.”
“Ha! Get it? They’ll plow for you.”
Colin and I laughed some while we continued up the mountain.
“Damn, Anth. This is really in the thick of trees. Is there anyone else on this mountain?”
“A few, but they’re over on the other side of the mountain. We’re almost there. Not much further.”
“I figured as much because we’re almost to the top.”
I made a sharp turn which put my cabin faintly in view through the thick of the trees.
“Jesus, Anth.” Colin was leaning forward to get a glimpse of the cabin. When I turned again, the cabin came into full view, and we parked in my driveway. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This is yours?”
“It is.”
I opened the garage door and slowly pulled my truck in the garage. Colin jumped out of the truck the second I put shut my truck off and zipped up his coat.
“Fuck, four car garage, too?”
“Yeah, in case I want snowmobiles or something.”
“Or something.”
“Come on, I’ll give you the tour before we unload things.”
I started to walk out of the garage to the driveway so I could take him in the front door. He was right behind me but had stopped. He held his arms out and was looking around.
“What?” I asked him.
“There’s something odd here. It’s so fucking cold out there, but this garage is as warm as can be.”
“It’s insulated just as the inside of the cabin is.” I started to walk away but glanced over my shoulder at him. “Oh, and it’s heated.”
“Heated garage? My god, Anth.”
“I don’t like being uncomfortable.”
“The cost to heat a garage up here, though.”
“It’s irrelevant. I left the heat on while I was up here a few weekends ago with the movers.”
We walked up the steps to the covered porch that wraps all the way around to the back of the cabin, which is where there is a gorgeous view of the ski slope across the way.
Chapter Eleven
November 2000
I felt like a child in a toy store. All I kept saying was, “Wow.” Anthony’s cabin was incredible to drive up to. He’s got a heated four-car gar
age! I found it astonishing that someone would pay to heat a garage. I understood the extra insulation, but to actually heat it was something else. He explained that he didn’t like being uncomfortable. I think I’d be uncomfortable with the heating bill.
The exterior was amazing, and it just blended in with the trees. The deck by Anthony’s front door had heavy lacquered wood log benches and heat lamps. Again, for comfort. Inside was amazing. It was an open floor plan, and there was a huge great room that spilled into a nook and kitchen. Immediately off to the left of the entryway was a guest room and a full bathroom.
The kitchen was decked out in Viking appliances and the thickest black countertops I’ve ever seen. I ran my hand over it; granite. His table was a large, rectangular lacquered slab of thick wood. It was the perfect mountain retreat table.
As I walked around with him, I noticed that nothing was half-assed here. It was all heavy, masculine furnishings that perfectly complemented a lush cabin. The floors were solid wood, and Anthony pointed out that they were heated floors.
“Heated floors,” I said as I crouched down and pressed my hand against the floor. “For comfort?” I asked him as I stood back up.
He nodded. Everything here was for comfort, it seemed. None of the furnishings were cheap, vacation home type of stuff. While everything would easily be comfortable for anyone, there clearly was a tie to not being cold.
“You have a thing about the cold, don’t you?” I asked.
He nodded.
“I hate being cold, Col.”
I just nodded, but felt like being warm was very important to him. I didn’t ask him anything further about it but knew something was probably behind it. Anthony was twenty-seven and in killer shape. He was a solid guy, yet didn’t like chilly weather. Which would explain why he loves Las Vegas so much. The great room had a natural wood burning fireplace, and the mantle was all stone stretching from one end of the room to the other.
Upstairs there was a large loft, also decked out with the heated floors and an “L” shaped leather sectional with a plush football sitting on it. The loft had the only TV in the place, and the walls were decorated with San Francisco 49ERS and San Francisco Giants memorabilia. I glanced around at all of it because I was a huge Niners fan too. There was a shadow box with black cork board inside and it had four San Francisco Giants ticket stubs tacked to the cork with orange push pins. On top of the shadow box was a Giants bobblehead figure and a plastic mini Giants batting helmet. I looked closer at the tickets. They ranged from 1993 -1996 and were all in April. They obviously meant something to him. Otherwise, I don’t think he would have held onto the stubs for all those years. I was curious and asked him about them. He was messing with putting another piece of memorabilia on the wall when I asked him.
“Are these games special for any reason?”
He turned to look at what I was looking at and referring to. Anthony set the framed picture of Candlestick Park down on the floor and came over to me and glanced at the tickets.
“Yeah. My dad took me to those games. My birthday was in March, but baseball season didn’t start until April. So, for my birthday in March, he gave me tickets for us to go to the Giants first home game in April.”
I nodded and smiled at him. It reminded me of when my dad took my brother and me to games for our birthdays. Anthony was the same but had never said anything about it. Then he made a comment that made me wonder about him and the cold again.
“Candlestick was always fucking cold in April.”
I laughed and nodded at him. Finally, we unloaded his truck and started putting stuff in its place. I had finished putting things away in his kitchen when I went to look for him. He was out on the back deck, close to the heat lamp and was messing with the potted tree he brought from home. He had the tree close to the deck in the corner and was messing with the soil. I gave him shit about bringing this little potted tree all the way up from Vegas during our drive. He really fussed over this tree as I sat down on the warm bench and watched.
“Need any help with that?”
“No, I’ve got it. It’s got fresh soil and water.”
“Water?” I asked and went over to him.
He pointed to a black rubber tube that came out of the wall on the deck. Anthony had gone to the extreme of making sure this potted tree would have water. I wouldn’t say that he was obsessed with the tree, but I could tell that it meant something to him, too. It looked like a stunted pine tree and was maybe three feet tall. The pot had a 49ERS decal on it.
“The Dom and his tree,” I joked.
The guest room that I slept in was upstairs and to the right of the loft. The sheets were flannel and extremely warm. The cabin was deathly quiet but I could hear the wind outside. I woke up in the middle of the night to a noise, though. I thought nothing of it at first and figured it might be Anthony up. It went on for a while and then I began wondering if we left the TV on in the loft. We watched football highlights before going to bed last night.
I walked to the loft to check on the TV and noticed it was off when I heard the noise again. It was coming from Anthony’s room. I frowned and walked closer and listened. It wasn’t a TV, and it didn’t sound like he was jacking off, so I pushed the door open. He looked like he was having a horrible dream or a nightmare. He was twisted entirely up in the sheets and blankets, thrashing around. I walked forward, feeling like I should do something, but stopped. I didn’t want to make anything awkward or startle him, so I backed up to the doorway and firmly knocked on the door. I used enough strength in my knocking to wake him up fairly quickly. He bolted up and looked really out of it when he turned on the light.
“Hey, I thought we left the TV on,” I said to him.
He started rubbing on his chest, and that’s when I noticed that his shirt was soaked in the front. He must have been having a nightmare, and I felt bad for him because I could tell that he was really bothered by it. Maybe even embarrassed.
“Sorry, Col. Did I wake you up?”
I didn’t want him to feel bad about having a nightmare. It was messing with him, and I didn’t want him to worry that he had woke me up.
“I just thought we left the TV on and when I went to check, I heard you making noise.”
He nodded and swung his feet over the bed and looked down at the floor. I felt awkward and regretted waking him up because now he seemed stalled.
“Sorry, about the noise, Col.”
“No, don’t worry about it. The Cal Bears score probably gave you the nightmare,” I lightly teased.
He nodded and smiled before getting out of bed.
“I’m going to go get something to drink. Sorry again about the noise,” Anthony said as he pulled off his wet shirt and changed into a dry one.
He sidestepped me in the doorway and started down the stairs. I let him go and went back to my room. And damn, these floors are wonderful to walk on with bare feet.
Chapter Twelve
November 2000
I stared at Connor’s smug face and felt nothing but hate as he smiled at me. I made as few movements as possible. I never wanted him to think he was getting the best of me. We stared each other down, neither of us giving in.
“Aren’t you just a little bit uncomfortable, you little shit?” he asked.
I frowned and shook my head. I was stubborn and wasn’t going to let him see that I was in pain.
“No? Let’s fix that. I want to go fuck your mom before your dad gets home. So, let’s speed this along.”
“Bruce isn’t my dad.”
Connor laughed and reached up, turning the faucet on. Scalding water poured out of the faucet and cascaded down my chest, burning me. I kept my gaze firmly on Connor and took a deep breath. He pressed me against the tub by holding his hand firmly around my neck. I was running out of energy; hot water often does that to me.
He was letting the water continue to run and burn me. I was going to hold out as long as I could. In the distance, I heard my mom announcing that Bruce was h
ome. Connor glared at me.
“You little fuck. I didn’t get to fuck your mommy, and now Bruce is home.”
He shook me until I coughed and then pushed me under the water. He held me under water until I kicked and splashed with all my might. I was going to die, I just knew it. It would at least end the pain. If I was brave enough, I could just open my mouth and take in all the water and drift off to sleep. Forever.
Everything sounded funny and muffled while I was submerged in hot water and soon Connor’s voice was being drowned out by a knocking noise.
Oh, fuck!
“Hey, I thought we left the TV on,” Colin said as he was standing in my doorway.
TV? What was he talking about? I fought to slow my breathing, and I concentrated on slow movements. I probably was making noise with my nightmare. My dad used to tell me that I would do that a lot. He said my nightmares were vivid for me. He had that right.
“Sorry, Col. Did I wake you up?”
He said that I hadn’t, but knowing how I used to make noises a lot, I feared that he had heard. I went downstairs and poured a glass of water and sat down at the table.
It’s been a number of months since I’ve had a nightmare. I kind of thought I was getting past them finally. After sitting up for about an hour, I went back to my room and shut the door quietly. I sat up instead of going back to bed so I didn’t wake Colin up anymore tonight.
It was beautiful and sunny out today, so Colin and I took advantage of my basketball hoop by the driveway. We played a variation of the classic school yard hoops game, H-O-R-S-E. Only our version had different names. We played P-U-S-S-Y, S-U-B-M-I-S-S-I-V-E, D-I-L-D-O and a bunch of others. We shot hoops all morning and then again after we had some lunch. With the altitude, it easily wore Colin and me out, and I was in bed by ten.
I woke up to the sound of glass being broken in the kitchen and the sounds of my mother’s sobs. Bruce was yelling, and between the sobs were the unmistakable sounds of glass bottles being thrown against the wall. Our walls were decorated with all sorts of dents and dings from various objects.