Being Graves

by Drew Sera

  “It’s no problem. Luckily, I have an understanding boss,” I joked as I referred to Colin.

  Matt laughed quietly and then glanced at Gina.

  “Keep it up, and you’re going to be the boss there, the way Colin raves about you.”

  I shook my head and looked at Gina sleeping.

  “I just do my job, Matt.”

  “That’s not what I hear. You go above and beyond for Colin. Seems you have a way with the clients.”

  I smiled and thought of the number of female clients that I’ve turned into liquid just by smiling at them.

  “You know that Colin appreciates you, right?” Matt asked.

  I nodded and confirmed that I knew where Colin stood. We were quiet for a few minutes and then Matt stood and pulled the blanket up that had fallen off her shoulder.

  “You like her, don’t you?” I asked Matt.

  He nodded and then looked me in the eye.

  “I do. I’ve just been spending time, sitting here and talking to her. We have a lot in common,” Matt confirmed.

  * * *

  Weeks had passed, and Matt was now officially dating the little sub he ended up saving. Gina fits well with Matt, and he adores her. I was there to see the love interest between them start and then develop. Aside from Blake and Cathy, Matt and Gina were the only other healthy couple that I knew.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  December 2006

  “A naughty sub list?” I asked before taking a sip of my Coke.

  “Yes, I think it’ll be a fun festive evening,” Blake said.

  In addition to Blake’s holiday auction, he had a creative idea for “the naughty subs of Irons.” They’d visit Santa in the dungeon, sit on his lap and tell him how naughty they’ve been throughout the year. Santa would spank the sub, give them a toy, and the sub would get her picture with Santa. If the sub didn’t have a Dom, they could make a donation to the charity organization. And if they had a Dom or Domme, then they’d make the donation.

  “I have to admit, Blake, that sounds pretty awesome,” I said.

  Blake smiled widely as Matt and Colin also complimented the idea.

  “Are you going to be Santa, Blake?” Colin asked.

  “No, no. Not me, of course. The idea is to get subs to want to do this. So, I thought Anthony would make an excellent Santa.”

  Matt grabbed his stomach and pounded his fist on the top of the bar, laughing.

  “Fuck, that’s great!” Colin said and flung his arm around me and shook me.

  “I’m glad you think so, Colin. You’re going to be his elf helper,” Blake added.

  Matt just kept on laughing.

  “Anthony is Santa and will listen to all the naughty subs, pose for a picture, and the Elf Colin will give them a toy,” Blake said.

  He had this all worked out.

  “What a better way to drum up support for the charity and everyone can have a little fun with it,” Matt added. “Plus, Santa and his Elf are the most desired in Irons. You’ll get lots of naughty subs.”

  “You know, Matt, one elf probably isn’t enough,” Blake tested the waters with Matt.

  Matt nodded and said to count him in.

  * * *

  “Are you kidding me?” Colin asked Blake as we stood in Blake’s office staring at our “Santa in the Dungeon” outfits.

  I picked up my red Santa pants with the white furry cuffs and headed to the opposite side of the room and began changing. It didn’t escape my notice that the crotch closes with big black buttons. I pulled my suspenders over my bare shoulders, and thankfully my black boots that I wore to the club looked part of the Santa outfit. I pulled on the Santa hat and picked up the tan leather paddle that had giant jingle bells attached to one side.

  Colin was still making noise when I turned around. Matt was just about dressed in his red and green striped pants. They had funny little hats and shoes with bells.

  “Nice tights, Col,” I said as I practiced slapping the paddle against my hand to test the pain level it could deliver.

  “They’re not tights,” Colin commented.

  They were tights and had one large yellow button to close the fly.

  “We’re probably the only elves with huge packages,” Matt said with a smile.

  I agreed with Matt. It was funny how their pants made their bulges look obnoxiously large.

  “Careful, Santa. The naughty little subs might run off with the elves,” Colin joked.

  “Alright, the dungeon is lined up with the naughty subs, so let’s not keep them waiting. And yes, my own little naughty one is in the line,” Blake said.

  “You’re going to let me spank your little Kelsie and let my elves give her a toy?”

  “Oh, yes. It’s for charity.”

  Colin, Matt and I made our way to the dungeon and the largest stall where the festivities would take place. The line stretched around the dungeon hallway, and many Doms were in line next to their subs. I took my seat on what was obviously Santa’s seat while Colin and Matt began to rummage around the toy box.

  Blake hung out in the doorway with a smirk on his face. He was enjoying this. And knowing how much this probably would raise for charity made me enjoy it too.

  I called over the first girl in line. She was naked, except for a skimpy pair of panties and took a seat on my lap. I wrapped my arm around her waist and asked her what she did that put her on the naughty list this year. Her Dom, Master Adam, stood beside Blake and was smiling.

  “I come without Master’s permission,” she said and glanced back at Master Adam.

  “Mmm, that’s very naughty, Cassie. Across my lap for five swats,” I said as I guided her across my red pants.

  I administered five barehanded swats to her ass while Blake took a picture. I helped Cassie up and guided her back to my lap.

  “There, that’s better. Now, assuming you’re going to attempt to be good between now and Christmas, what would you like?”

  “A new purse!” Cassie exclaimed.

  “Sorry, sweetheart. I meant, which toy would you like?” I motioned toward Colin and Matt. “Elf Colin has a toy for your naughty ass, or Elf Matt has a toy for your pouty pussy,” I said.

  Cassie selected the bright red vibrator and bent over the metal table that was gift wrapped. After each sub collects their toy, they had to bend over the “present table” and let one of my elves insert a red and white swirled butt plug.

  I went through a few dozen girls and had a sore hand by the time Blake’s little Kelsie appeared. This little one was Blake’s special “little girl.” They had an amazing Daddy Dom/little girl relationship, and I knew she warmed his heart. I was hoping that this wouldn’t be awkward. She walked up to me, wearing cute pajama bottoms that had gnomes skiing, and a bright red bra. Blake was all smiles as he watched Kelsie get situated on my lap.

  “So, Miss Kelsie, I’m sure the list is long, but what did you do that was naughty this year?” I asked.

  “I shaved my pussy with Blake’s new razor,” she said in an adorable tone.

  Fuck, she was cute.

  “Was Daddy Blake really angry?” I asked and glanced at Blake.

  “Yes, he spanked me and gave me the fat butt plug.”

  There was no way for me not to smile at this. I nodded, guided her across my lap and spanked her with the leather paddle with the jingle bells on them. I didn’t feel right about spanking her with my bare hand. This was Blake’s little one. She laughed and giggled at the sounds of the bells as I spanked her.

  “Alright, pick out your toy from my elves and then bend over my present table for your sweet treat,” I instructed.

  I smiled as Kelsie eagerly went to Colin and Matt to check out her toy options. I found it interesting that Kelsie selected the thick, but stubby, black cock butt toy. I shot a look over at Blake and raised my eyebrows at him a few times.

  “Going to have to tame that, Blake,” I advised.

  Kelsie bent over the present table and excitedly pulled her own
butt cheeks apart to accept her red and white swirled plug. Colin pulled her pajama pants up, and she trotted to Blake proudly holding her new black ass toy. She showed Blake her new toy as he hugged and kissed her.

  I continued on for about another hour until the line was gone. Though my hand was sore, my cock needed some relief. As the dungeon area started clearing, I glanced at Colin.

  “I need to play,” I announced.

  Soon, I had Jennifer and Leanne kneeling on the floor, back to back, bound in red Christmas ribbon. I used some ribbon to make loose cuffs, binding their wrists together. After I had my fill of tying these two up, I unbuttoned my Santa pants, and Leanne sucked me off, while Jennifer sucked on Colin.

  I was exhausted after I blew my load. Colin and I flopped down at the bar after we spent some time with the girls. I thought about the evening as I sat in my Santa pants and sipping on my Coke. It wasn’t too rough playing Santa. I’d do it again next year.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  September 2007

  “Now boarding flight 276 to San Francisco. At this time, we’ll take all first-class passengers,” a friendly voice announced over the speaker.

  “Let’s go,” Colin said as he stood.

  Matt was helping Gina into her sweater as I stood. For Matt’s birthday, Colin gave him tickets for all of us to go to a 49ERS game. As I sat on the plane next to Colin, I thought a lot about San Francisco and the time I spent living in the area with my dad for a while.

  I also thought about those crazy trips I was making to San Francisco for beating sessions. I’m glad that’s behind me. Thoughts were on my dad and the games he and I would attend here and there. I remembered to pack my 49ERS hat that my dad got me, and we all had football jerseys.

  As we drove to the hotel, memories of this city and my dad filled my head. I almost laughed out loud as I thought back to the time when I was scared to go home to my dad with the “F” on my chemistry test. I was stupid to think that my dad would hurt me, it was just all I knew at the time.

  I gazed around the hotel lobby as I made my way from the elevator and spotted Gina sitting alone on one of the large couches.

  “Hey, Gina. Where’s Mr. Matt?” I asked and sat across from her.

  “He went over to the valet and asked them to bring the car around,” she replied.

  I nodded and glanced at the automatic sliding doors just as Colin was walking through them toward Gina and me. He caught my eye and gave me an upward nod.

  “Ready? Matt’s got the car,” Colin said.

  I stood and checked the couch where Gina was sitting to make sure she had everything.

  “Jacket on, miss,” Colin said to Gina and pulled the jacket from her arms and held it open for her.

  As I held the back door open for Gina to climb in, I was glad that I wore layers. Candlestick Park was always cold. Always.

  While walking into the stadium and around the concourse, I noticed how much Matt watched over and touched Gina. He held her hand everywhere and kept her close. I watched their hands a lot and wondered what it would feel like to hold a woman’s hand and walk around with them. I’d never held a woman’s hand before. Not like that. He kissed her while we waited in line for her to get one of those foam hand souvenirs. Gina leaned against him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she put her arm across his lower back and held onto his side. Seeing Gina hold Matt innocently like that made me run my hand that was in my sweatshirt pocket over my side scar. I could never let a woman hold onto me like that.

  This was a good reminder to me that I’d never settle down with a woman. There’s no fucking way I could handle someone putting their hand close to my side, or letting them look in my eyes. Or sleep next to me. The fear would be there that I could have some terrible nightmare and have to try to explain why I wake up sweating.

  No. I definitely am not boyfriend material. Not like Matt is. Or Colin, for that matter. Both of them could care for a little submissive…love her and take care of her outside a dungeon cell. Not me. I don’t even date. Dating gives women a false sense of what’s really going on. I know that I can’t give a woman anything but sex, so why bother with dating?

  “Thank you for my foam finger, Matt,” Gina said and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

  “You’re welcome, pet,” Matt said and kissed her forehead.

  Colin and Matt each got different 49ERS hats and put them on while Gina was waiving her foam hand around. Finally, we moved to our seats; Colin got kick ass seats for us. The Niners won, which was fantastic to be at a home game with the team winning. After the game, Gina took a picture of Colin, Matt and me by the railing with the field in the background.

  Colin and I sat in the clubhouse to the golf course in his neighborhood and waited for Matt to show up for our Friday golf game. Matt was running late due to working a little later at the hospital. When he arrived, he had Gina with him.

  Gina handed Colin and me each a gift bag. I opened mine, and it was a picture frame that said “Best Buds,” and the picture was the one Gina took of the three of us at the Niners game last weekend. Colin’s frame was identical to mine. These were really neat, and I sat and stared at the picture. These guys were my family.

  “Thanks, Gina,” Colin said as he stood and hugged her.

  “You’re welcome. I got one for Matt, too. He already took his to work, but his is the same as both of yours,” she said.

  This was the first picture I’ve ever had with myself in it and frame. Things like framed pictures weren’t in my life. My mother never had a picture of me anywhere in the house. I never saw a picture of me in school until my senior year of high school.

  “Son, your senior year pictures are this week. Do you have any thoughts on what you’d like to wear?” my dad asked one Sunday afternoon in January.

  I stared at him blankly. I had read on the announcement flier at school that all students would have their photo taken for the yearbook and that parents could decide if they wanted to purchase additional pictures or pay for a photo shoot.

  I didn’t bother saying anything to my dad about it. I didn’t want him to spend any money on me. I didn’t want to be an extra expense for him any more than I already was. He’s already been incurring fees and copays for me having to see doctors. I felt bad enough about that.

  “Anthony, son, are you listening?”

  Shit! I nodded.

  “Yes, sorry. I know the school is having the senior photos this week. It’s free though since we won’t be selecting a package or something. I think the school will take the picture for the yearbook for each student even if they don’t buy a package. So, I’ll probably just wear a solid color shirt.”

  “Anthony, I want to buy some pictures of you,” he said.

  “What? I mean, why?”

  “Because, you’re my son and I’ve missed out on having pictures of you in my office and on end tables here at home.”

  “But—”

  “Look,” my dad pointed to the newsletter he received in the mail yesterday. “Students with last names starting with A – G are scheduled for photos Monday. That’s tomorrow.”

  I nodded. My dad wanted pictures of me. Not only did he want pictures, but he wanted to pay for them. That night after my shower, I practiced smiling in the mirror. I wanted to take good pictures so he wouldn’t feel like he wasted his money.

  I got up early to get ready for school and senior picture day. I wore a pair of jeans and my soft, blue, knit long sleeve shirt, and as I was doing my hair in the bathroom, I practiced smiling again. My smile faded when I caught a hint of the bruising around my neck.

  “Shit, no,” I whispered taking a closer look.

  I stood up straight and tugged the hem of my shirt down and shrugged my shoulders some. My bruises were still so new and hadn’t faded much and these were evident with this shirt. I’ve been away from Bruce and Connor almost four weeks, but the marks were still very obvious.

  I can’t take pictures.

  I felt
sick. My dad wanted photos, and I can’t even take a goddamn fucking picture. I began to feel myself growing angry and upset. I pounded my hand on the bathroom counter and stared at my hideous neck.

  Suddenly my dad appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. Shit, he probably heard me hitting the counter.

  “Sorry…I’m sorry,” I apologized and looked at the counter. “I didn’t ding it.”

  “It’s ok, son. What’s wrong?”

  Wasn’t it obvious to him? The fact that he couldn’t tell what I was upset over, made me even more upset. I stared at him in the mirror.

  “Look! Can’t you see? I can’t take pictures like other kids.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of this!” I angrily pointed to the bruising that crept out of the shirt. “I can’t…”

  My dad walked into the bathroom, stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me. Fuck, the hug thing. It made me feel weak, and I tried to fight off the tears, but it was so hard with him hanging onto me like that.

  “It’ll be alright, Anthony.”

  “No, it won’t! Can’t you see it?” I asked him out of frustration.

  He squeezed me and looked me in the eye through the mirror.

  “Here’s what I see, Anthony. I see a strong, young man who has had a rough life and recovering from years of abuse. I see a young man, worrying about how he looks and what others will think if they were to see bruises. I see a young man who is learning to live without fear. I see a courageous young man, who happens to have my eyes. I see my son.”

  “I don’t want anyone to see them. They’ll think I’m weak and that I let it happen, or that I didn’t fight back.”

  “Son, you’re not weak. Anthony, there were two of them that tormented you for years and years. That’s all you knew. Your body went through hell. You were so malnourished and underweight when I first saw you in the emergency room.”

  “I don’t want any kids to think that someone else got the best of me.”