by Taylor Rose
“What happened?” he asked me, his voice steady.
Twisting my hands together, I moved to sit on the couch that was still warm from Kieran’s body heat.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words were stuck inside.
Forcing myself to talk, I explained.
“I opened the bathroom door too hard. He must have been standing behind it,” I squeaked, my voice light and airy.
Cooper snorted, his eyes filling with humor.
“Seriously?” he asked while laughing.
“Yep,” I drawled, letting the “P” at the end of yep, pop.
“Jesus,” Cooper exclaimed, laughter taking over his whole body, hooting and hollering at no one in general. “That sucks.”
My eyes burned into him in hopes his body would burst into flames. This. Was. Not. Funny.
Fucking shit.
“Enjoying yourself?” I questioned him, my dry voice lacking humor.
Instead of answering, he just continued to laugh.
Getting up off the couch, I started walking towards the hall to check on Aqua. Before leaving the living room, I flipped Cooper my middle finger which only made him laugh harder.
Fucker.
Reaching Kieran’s room, I walked through the door. Aqua and Kieran are both sound asleep, Aqua cradled into Kieran’s chest.
Damn, that was a sight for sore eyes.
Panic ran through my veins. Bile rose up my throat. My skin became clammy. My whole body started to fucking shake.
How could I have forgotten for so long?
Buzz.
I still hadn’t been home. I was so fucked.
Placing a chaste kiss on Aqua’s forehead, I pushed every ounce of my love into her. Grabbing a blanket from the bottom of the bed, I pulled it over their bodies. I am thoroughly enjoying the sight in front of me. Careful not to wake them up, I crept out of the room. I only look back once, needing to see her happy.
Rushing down the hallway, I stopped in the living room.
“I have to go take care of something. Could you take care of Aqua for a little bit? It’s important,” I pleaded with him, needing her to be safe this time.
“Of course,” he sighed, questions lingering in his gaze.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I promised him, sprinting out of the house as fast as my legs would carry me. I don’t look back.
The devil didn’t like to be left waiting.
Waking up with a killer headache was the last thing I expected.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My brain was pounding inside my skull with each breath I took.
I stretched out my arms and legs, not expecting to bump into something next to me. Alarmed, my eyes snapped open to scan the vicinity I was in. I always slept alone. Always. So, my mind was running a million miles a minute trying to figure out who would be in my bed. Let alone in my house.
Oh.
Squirt.
All of the air rushed out of my lungs in a whoosh. My eyes transfixed on the most beautiful little girl in the world. Somehow, some way, we formed this bond. One so special, I would protect her with my life. And while I didn’t understand how it was possible, I knew it was the truth.
Lying in bed with Squirt sleeping next to me was calming.
Everything hit me like a ton of bricks; or should I say hit me like a door to the fucking face.
A chuckle bubbled out of my lips making my chest rumble.
Did that really happen? I could picture it happening, like a movie playing over and over again in my head, but at the same time it felt like a dream. Carefully, without waking Squirt up, I crawled out of bed and walked out of the room.
She smashed my head with the bathroom door.
Somewhere in all that commotion, I fell in love with her.
Desperately. Crazy. Hopelessly. In love with the women who hit me with my bathroom door so hard, I passed out.
Because that was totally normal. Right?
Laughing, I walked out into the living room to see Cooper sitting on the couch. I sat down next to him, my weight sinking into one of the cushions. Cooper’s head snapped in my direction, his eyes full of laughter.
I started laughing, and he followed suit. Our laughter mixing together.
Deep. Loud. Raw. Real.
“Jesus Christ,” he quipped, shaking his head, still laughing.
“Tell me about it,” I chuckled.
“When she told me what happened, I wasn’t sure what to believe,” he admitted, a small amount of shame prominent in his tone. “What were you doing, dude? Listening to her shower?”
“Of course not,” I grumbled, with a serious tone. “I wouldn’t do that.”
He cocked his head to the side.
“Whatever you say, man,” he conceded. He didn’t truly believe my side of the story, the laughter in his eyes told me that.
“I’m going to marry that woman one day. Shit you not,” I declared. I needed him to know now that neither one of those girls was leaving. I needed them in my life now that I knew they existed. No matter what.
“You’re fucking hilarious, Kieran!” he bellowed, laughter ringing throughout the living room at my statement. “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.”
“Not lying, just giving you a heads up, man. I fell in love with her the second that door was slammed into my face,” I grimaced, rubbing my hands over my still tender head. I was never more serious in my life. “You’ll understand what I’m saying when it happens to you. The next women to use something to hit you in the head will be the love of your life. When they say that love hits you over the head, they weren’t kidding. I can promise you that, brother.”
“There’s something wrong with your head, brother,” he murmured through a fit of laughter. “You’ve known her for a day. Like, one fucking day. You’re crazy.” If anything, he was the crazy one. Cooper may seem tame, but if you knew his secrets, the one’s I knew, you would realize what a fucking wackadoo he really was.
Without even realizing how, Cooper and I now had Squirt sitting in between us. Her head was in my lap, while her feet were in Cooper’s.
“Jelly, can you rub my feet?” Squirt asked Cooper, batting her little eye lashes at him. Without even complaining, Cooper took her feet in his hands and started rubbing them. After a minute of watching my best friend do what a six-year-old girl just told him to do, I started laughing. It was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. Cooper, wrapped around Squirts little finger.
“Where’s Figgy?” Squirt questioned innocently.
“She said she had something to do Peanut, you’re stuck with us tonight,” Cooper declared, pounding his fist onto his chest. She giggled at his show of dominance for a second, before shooting up out of my lap.
Her eyes swirling with fear, the way mine used to when I knew something bad was going to happen.
“Can we stop at my house? Just for a minute… I forgot my favorite stuffed animal,” she asked quietly, trying to seem all cute and shit. And while Cooper may have been eating this shit right up, I could tell she was lying. She wanted to go home for another reason, she was afraid of something or for someone.
“Sure Squirt, let’s go get it now,” I reassured her, while picking her up off of her sitting position on the couch and placing her feet on the ground. Her eyes sparkled with relief for a second, before she ran out the door as fast as she could, tripping over her own feet in the process.
“Let’s go, brother,” I mumbled, pulling my keys into my hand and putting my wallet into my pocket.
Whatever had Squirt so worried that she wanted to go home right this second, had me on edge. It wasn’t until we were driving down the street, following her directions when it hit me square in the chest.
She wasn’t worried until she asked where Figgy was. This was about her fear for her sister.
My heart started beating rapidly in my chest and I stepped on the gas. I needed to get there as fast as
possible because if something happened to Figgy, I would lose my goddamn mind.
Worry was lodged in my chest.
My heart wouldn’t stop beating her name, as if it was part of my normal routine.
Figgy. Figgy. Figgy.
*****
Walking through the door of the apartment that I owned should bring a good feeling in my heart, but the only thing I felt as I unlocked the dead bolt on the door was dread. Dreading this encounter with Buzz. Because I could tell you right now, it was going to be the worst thus far.
Not showing up at home after he specifically told me to, after warning me of what would happen if I ran, had me so terrified my body was shaking. I was so fucking screwed. At least I didn’t have to worry about Aqua this time. She didn’t have to hear my cries of pain, knowing what was happening to me. This caused me more pain than whatever he actually put me through. This time, I could scream and cry, and not worry about her. It was refreshing to know that she was safe. Even if it was with virtual strangers.
I stopped dead in my tracks the second I entered my apartment. I couldn’t stop looking at the destruction Buzz caused in his search. My living room looked as though a hurricane swept through. As soon as we didn’t come home, he ransacked my home. Probably trying to find where I went, just like last time.
Everything’s alright Figgy, Aqua’s safe.
He could do whatever he wanted to me, but she was off limits.
Off fucking limits.
Biding my time, I walked around the living room. Picking up what I could, fixing what I was able to, and throwing away what had been too destroyed. Cleaning was the only thing that would get me through waiting for him to get here, without breaking down.
After what felt like hours, I had cleaned the living room, bathroom, and Aqua’s room. I heard the door of the apartment open, then slam closed, and knew my fate was about to be delivered to me. I walked into the living room with my head held high, taking slow deliberate steps.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” I heard Buzz scream at the now tidy apartment. He must have known something was up, because when he left, this place was a wreck.
“You fucking whore! Who did you screw?!” Buzz screamed as he took huge strides to where I was standing. One second I was standing in front of him, and the next I was on the floor. He slapped my face so hard, my head felt as though it circled my body twice. My face was throbbing, my hands and knees bruising from the fall to the floor. Buzz pulled me up by my neck, leaving my feet to dangle in the air. The air started to leave my lungs causing me to gasp for breath. Without warning, I went flying through the air. My body smashed up against something, causing the bones in my back to crack. I crumpled to the floor in a heap again, this time not being able to tell up from down. Using his feet, he kicked me as I lay on the ground. He kicked my stomach hard, causing the small amount of air I had left in my lungs to dissipate.
Lying flat on the floor, I was trying to catch my breath when I felt a sudden prick of pressure on my neck. Buzz was pushing his foot into my throat, almost crushing it. Just a little harder and my windpipe would be crushed into small pieces of bone.
There are worse things in life than death.
A sense of peace washed over my heart, shocking me to my very core.
I was ready to die.
Right here.
Right now.
My will to live had fled into the dark of night.
Do it. Do it. Do it, mother fucker! Kill me already!
Just end it!
“You’ve been a bad little bitch, Figueroa. You should know by now not to disobey me!” Buzz snarled loudly. He was yelling so loud that my neighbors had to have heard him.
He pushed my shirt over my head, and shock took over. I was worried he wanted sex. Bile rose up my throat, searing my vocal cords as it pushed upward. Instead, I was greeted with something worse than anything my imagination could have come up with.
In his hand, Buzz held a knife, shiny and metallic. He sat on my legs, using his weight to keep me in place while he tied my hands to the table legs with my own scarves. I wasn’t able to get away.
The table that we ate dinner together at every night.
A searing pain flew through my skin with each cut he made. He didn’t do it fast, either. He took his time, letting the blade sink deep into my skin. I could feel my blood pooling on my stomach. The coolness from the blade registered as he cut, like I was a rare steak he wanted to savor.
Tears were flowing and sobs shook my body.
Eventually, he got up from his sitting position on my legs, which were now asleep. He walked away from me and I thought that my torture session was finally over. I curled my legs up into my stomach to protect my body from him as best I could.
He walked back into the room, and my heart jumped into my throat and lodged itself there.
I thought he was done with me.
I was fucking wrong.
He kicked me using all of the strength his body had, which made me release my legs. He proceeded to sit on them again, using his weight as an anchor to keep me in place. He ripped off a piece of duct tape, and used it to cover my mouth. I must have been making too much noise for his liking.
He continued to cut into my skin, but this time it wasn’t on my stomach. Pain radiated under my right breast as cuts made their way into my skin from the knife Buzz held. Relief was short lived, because after he finished there, he moved beneath my left breast and continued. It was as if I were an outlet for his own pent up pain and aggression. After what felt like eons, he was finally done. I sobbed with relief that it was finally over. But that was the painless part of his whole game.
Next, he used a rag to wipe away the excess blood that had pooled onto my torso from all of the cuts, and smiled. His fucking smile was twisted with amusement.
Using his phone, he snapped a photo of me lying there. Bloody. Beaten. Cut the fuck up. It was some sort of reminder, or maybe it was a memento of his torture.
Finally, when I thought it had to be completely over, my world was flipped on its axis. He grabbed a bottle of vinegar and poured it over my open wounds. The liquid seeped into the cuts and a searing pain took over all of my senses. I screamed as loud as I could. Even with the duct tape covering my mouth, I must have been loud enough for someone to hear.
What most people don’t realize, is that most cuts heal and barely leave a scar. But what Buzz just did, pouring vinegar over my wounds, not only hurt like a motherfucking bitch, but it also seared the openings from the cuts so that when I finally am able to heal, I will scar. Those scars will always be visible. He just made sure that I would always have a visible reminder of what he did to me.
Smiling to himself, he looked over my body as though he had accomplished his greatest goal in life.
“Never disobey me again, you fucking slut, I’m sick of you not listening. Now, you and everyone else will always know what you really are,” he gloated, hatred gleaming in his eyes.
He started to unbutton my pants, and a piercing scream escaped from my covered lips. I thrashed around, using all of my energy to keep moving, hoping to stop his final act.
Please, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! I chanted over and over again in my head. Don’t let him do this to me down there too!
Sobbing uncontrollably, I didn’t even notice the moment Buzz was no longer holding my body down. I curled my legs up to my chest once again, holding them to my body with every ounce of strength I had left.
“YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!” a vaguely familiar voice roared. I turned my head and saw Kieran beating the shit out of Buzz. My heart soared knowing someone was able to save me. “You think beating on a woman is fun? Huh? Let’s see how you like it, asshole!”
Kieran proceeded to beat Buzz into an early grave, while someone else was untying my hands. I turned my head and saw Cooper cutting the scarf that was holding me to the table, freeing my wrists. I curled up into the fetal position, to hide whatever damage Buzz caused m
y body, from prying eyes. After getting my wrists free, Cooper ripped the tape off of my mouth. I inhaled a huge gulp of air, needing as much oxygen in my lungs as they could hold. My lungs burned with the foreign feeling of air, reminding me of how close I came to never breathing again. Tears rushed down my face, faster and harder than ever before. Sobs raked my chest with so much force my entire body was moving with them.
In the distance, I heard someone crying. When I looked over, my heart was viciously ripped from my chest. Aqua was crying so hard, her body was bouncing up and down with each sob she took. Wails and screams came from her mouth, and I knew that the state she just saw me in was going to haunt her for the rest of her life, ruining the innocent soul that she once was.
After beating Buzz into a pile of mush, Kieran rushed straight to my side. He pulled the shirt off of his back, and placed it over my head to cover the cuts I didn’t want seen. As if he knew what I needed, before I needed it. He pulled me into his arms, holding me with such care. Slowly, he lifted me up off of the ground and started to carry me out of the door. Turning my head, I saw Cooper carrying Aqua the exact same way Kieran was carrying me, only a few feet behind us.
I felt a kiss to my forehead, and glanced up into the whiskey colored eyes of the man that had saved me twice in less than two days. Something familiar echoed in his gaze, and I wondered if he knew what happened to me without me having to tell him.
“You’re safe now, baby. You’re safe,” he reassured me in a voice that radiated love, affection and a pain of its own.
“Thank you, Charming,” I murmured sleepily, drifting off into a deep slumber. Knowing that for the first time in years, I’m finally safe.
Rage took over my body without warning, boiling my blood to the hottest degree possible. Seeing Figgy skewed across the floor of her apartment, her arms tied down, with cuts on her stomach stirred something deep down inside of me. Something I thought I had buried a long time ago. I was wrong, I never buried it, it had always been close to the surface threatening to take me over at any given moment. But seeing this today, I let that rage finally break free.