The Undead Detective Bites

by Jennifer Hilt

  I closed my eyes. I needed to focus. Two nights, two very different yet dramatic crime scenes. Griz’s room was clearly the real thing complete with his severed head. Triana’s felt obviously staged, though if we’d found her body that would change my opinion.

  “When you went through Griz’s stuff, did you find any money problems? The motel doesn’t look like it gets great business.” I didn’t open my eyes. The wool blanket smelled doggy but it did a better job at preserving warmth than nothing. I pictured myself in my lab back in LA where everything was tidy and warm. I craved that level of control. I forgot how messy being out in the field was with both bodies and data management. I wished I’d brought Ben with me tonight. I could use a feeding after all. My stomach had that gnawing feeling that bordered on nausea. Though Ben would likely be fussing over his lack of internet connectivity.

  Griz’s gruesome death reminded me of a mob killing. Was there someone in Las Vegas that he owed money to? Trolls took their protection business there very seriously. They carried out the enforcement with a sadistic glee.

  “Business isn’t great. It seems about the same as always,” Fang admitted. He glanced at me in the rearview mirror. “But the property is paid for. He hasn’t exactly put in improvements. He had a small nest egg but no outstanding debts besides the utilities.”

  Why kill him? It was hard to imagine him being a threat to anyone. And who the fuck was O.O.?

  The snow was really coming down now. The temperature must’ve warmed up because thick flakes accumulated on the windshield as fast at the wipers removed them. The truck headlights shone into a wall of white. This was mule deer and antelope territory plus any other large animal who felt like wandering across the road.

  Suddenly our vehicle swerved.

  I screamed as I was thrown against the seat in front of me. Idris released a string of sound in a language I’d never heard before. Fang’s knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel.

  The Bronco continued to spin to the right before we smashed through the guardrail.

  6

  Our freefall must have lasted only a few seconds but it felt much longer. We rolled over the edge of the road. Vampires don’t have many moments where their undead lives flash before them but this was one for me. I thought of Ben and Mr. Figgles back at the motel waiting for my return. Ben would never get out of Nowhere alive now.

  Judging from the ‘crack’ and his ensuing cry (this time in English), Idris’ head hit the windshield. I was distracted from my musings by biting my lower lip. Immediately I tasted blood.

  We landed upside down in a ravine snow bank.

  “Hattie, are you ok?” Fang was reaching for me but still belted in himself.

  I touched my lip. My hand came away bloody. The seatbelt kept me intact, though.

  “I’m ok.” I pressed my blanket against my lip. “You?”

  “My leg is trapped under the steering wheel column. But I think I’m ok.”

  “I’m not.” Idris snapped. “What the fuck was that? Did we hit something?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t see anything,” Fang said.

  “Obviously,” Idris replied.

  “Guys. Enough. I’m going to release my seatbelt and see if I can take a look.” I let go of the blanket from my face. Hopefully the cut had already sealed over enough. I was a fast healer.

  From the angle of the truck the front half was buried downward while the back half was elevated.

  I braced myself with my arms and legs, making contact on three points when I released the seatbelt. My head banged onto the roof.

  Fuck. That hurt.

  At least I was free. Now I set about trying to release Fang and Idris. The vampire was easier to reach since he wasn’t impacted by the steering wheel. His right arm looked broken judging by the odd angle he cradled it. Plus Idris was pretty quiet. He too should heal pretty quickly.

  I slithered around pressing buttons trying to ignore that my ass was pretty much in someone’s face at any given moment.

  Fang’s steering column was jammed. It had come very close to crushing his chest judging by his bruised or maybe broken ribs. His door was going to be impossible to open from this angle. Since this vehicle only had two doors, that left us with the passenger side.

  “Idris, you’re gonna have to kick open your door.” I’d crawled into the back again. Not because I liked sitting on the upturned interior roof but because I was seriously pissed off. I hated feeling trapped.

  Fang was probably more seriously injured than he let on. His silence made me uneasy.

  “The door is jammed from the outside,” Idris said.

  “It’s only snow. Show us what a powerful vampire you are, Idris, and power through it. Fang, you ok?” I asked.

  The shifter was too quiet. That wasn’t a good sign. Not that he was ever chatty but there was something about his silence that bothered me. That and I smelled his blood.

  “I’m ok.” His voice was slurred.

  “Let’s go, Idris. Try the door again.” I was never a fan of Fang’s truck but now I hated the fact it was a two-door.

  “Has it occurred to you what we’ll do when we leave the car in a blizzard with no communication?” Idris asked.

  “Maybe we can fix this. But we need to get outside to look.”

  Idris had managed to turn his torso to the side, but he needed to angle his legs too.

  And he needed help. It might be only snow but it was hard packed, frozen and probably pushing against an overturned tree.

  “Move your legs so that your feet are against the door. I’m joining you. The two of us together should get it open.” I climbed over the seat again. There was no space for me in this angle beyond sitting on Idris’ lap. “Make some space, dammit. I’m not some kind of insect that can fold up her legs.”

  I settled myself between his open legs so they cradled me. “Ok, on the count of three. One, two, three. Push.” My feet pressed against the unlocked door with all my might. Idris made a show of grunting. I doubted he was contributing much beyond the complaining.

  The door budged slightly an inch but no more. We were really buried in here. Clearly there was more snow than I’d realized earlier.

  We pushed again and again. It was just warm enough that the snow was heavy and thick. After grunting, nudging, kicking, cursing and finally a desperate shove, we got the door open enough so I slid out. From the outside, I could see that we had not only flipped over but a tire was completely missing. We were seriously screwed.

  “I told you so,” Idris said when I reported our situation.

  “Fang, talk to me. You ok?” I asked again. My eyesight was excellent in the dark. Unfortunately, I did not like what I saw.

  “Not bad.” Fang puffed. His skin had a grayish tone. Not a good sign.

  “Give me your boots,” I ordered Idris.

  “Forget it.” He pulled them back slightly but in reality there was nowhere to move them.

  “I’m going to look for help. I’m the only one not injured enough to do it. Give me the boots. Now.” There was no point in trying to drag the truck out of this mess. That would use all my energy. I needed to save that to get us help.

  Idris ponied up the boots like I knew he would. I offered him mine in return but he declined. “This isn’t funny.”

  Not entirely true. Fang’s injuries concerned me but my fellow physicians didn’t bother me.

  “Make sure Fang doesn’t lose consciousness,” I said to Idris.

  It made me feel better to give him an order but in reality what could Idris do for Fang?

  The sheriff’s face was in shock. His gray eyes were glassy, not a hint of the twinkle that usually resided there.

  Fuck.

  Outside the truck, I wrapped the blanket around me and started climbing.

  Not surprisingly, there was not much traffic on a county road at night during a blizzard. I debated trying to head back to Triana’s house but it was far enough that I didn’t want to leave Fang and Idr
is stranded. Especially as there was no vehicle at Triana’s.

  I guessed it was only around midnight, which meant a long night ahead. We needed access to heat and medical attention. I paced up and down where we had spun off the road, trying to keep warm and conjure some help. I had no such skills. It was just wishful thinking. Not a common experience for a vampire.

  I was about to start back down to check on Fang when I heard the approaching vehicle. I listened. There it was. Through the wind, a vehicle crept along. Tires crunched the snow-covered road.

  I sprinted forward until the headlights came into view. I waved my arms in the path of the lights until the car stopped. I trotted around to the passenger window.

  The window rolled down unevenly, making the most god awful squeak. I glanced closer at the vehicle. Under a considerable amount of snow and ice was a Chrysler station wagon. It had to be thirty years old.

  Were these paranormals aware that they could buy new vehicles? It was like they were auditioning for a spot on “Pickers.”

  The smell of magic that rolled out of the partially open window made my eyes water.

  “Can I help you, vampire?” A brunette with green eyes and shoulder-length hair and a pretty heart-shaped face stared up at me.

  A witch.

  And just when I thought my night couldn’t get much worse.

  “The sheriff along with another passenger and I were in a vehicle that rolled off the road. We need to get a ride to town.”

  “Is Sheriff Fang ok?” Her perfectly arched brows frowned.

  “I’m not a hundred percent sure but he may have a punctured lung. I need to get him somewhere warm to assess him.”

  “I’m a physician—I can do that. But right now I have a shifter with breech twins waiting. You’ll all need to come along.”

  Oh fuck. A witch doctor. I had no desire to spend my night with a shifter delivering twins.

  On the other hand, this place would be warm and better for Fang.

  And Idris, well he could fuck himself.

  Instead she said, “Do you need help getting the sheriff to the road?”

  “Probably not. If you keep the car running I’ll see what I can do.” I was mostly worried if she turned off her vehicle even magic couldn’t get it going again.

  I ducked away, letting her slowly roll up the car window. I mostly slid down the hill back to the ravine.

  I knocked on Idris’ window to get his attention.

  He cracked his door.

  “I found us a ride. Come on.”

  His face lit up. “Really? That’s great. Now give me back my boots.” He handed my leather boots through the open slit.

  I considered fighting him for them right there. I was by far in better shape from the accident than he. But one glance at Fang got me moving.

  It was really hard to give up those boots. I was making Ben track down a pair as soon as I got back to Nowhere.

  “Fang, we got a ride. We just need to get you up the hill.”

  “That’s good. I’ll just wait here.” His speech was slurred even more now.

  “On no, you don’t. Idris, I told you not to let him fall asleep.”

  “We ran out of things to talk about.” He exited the car cradling his arm. It must be a pretty bad break. Served him right for being such an asshole.

  “Get up the hill. We’ll meet you,” I said.

  He didn’t offer his help and I was worried he might throw us farther down the embankment if he had a chance.

  Idris trudged up the ravine. He glanced back a few times, checking our progress.

  That fucker was planning to leave us. Fury flushed through me, giving me a brief flicker of warmth.

  He was going to overpower the driver and take the vehicle, leaving me and Fang to die of exposure.

  I hoisted Fang’s arm around my shoulders and dragged him faster up the hill.

  I wasn’t surprised by Idris. It was so vampire. He’d eliminate his greatest scientific competition with minimal discomfort.

  Even though Fang was a much bigger man than I, I could handle his weight with my enhanced strength. The trouble was there was just so much of him—longer arms, torso and legs. It was like a mouse trying to carry an elephant uphill.

  He winced when I slid my right arm around his back. Maybe he had kidney damage. His Bronco was built long before airbags.

  I concentrated on our reaching the top of the hill.

  What was my next move when our help was gone.

  Just keep moving. One thing at a time. Don’t look back.

  When we came into the view of the headlights. The car door slammed. The witch ran to meet us.

  I was never so happy to see a witch.

  “Sheriff, are you all right?” She took his weight on the other side and we made short work of dragging him back to the car. “He’s going in the front,” she said, glancing at me. “You didn’t tell me the other passenger was a vamp too. He immediately tried to glamour me.”

  Fang mumbled something intelligible.

  “How’d that work out?” I couldn’t help asking. It appeared I had underestimated her.

  “Let’s just say it’ll be some time before he attempts to take advantage of a Good Samaritan again. I trust I’m not going to have the same problem with you?” She shot me a hard look.

  “No, ma’am.” I replied. “I wouldn’t dream of it. I take my Hippocratic oath very seriously.”

  “I’m Wendy. ” She huffed, opening the passenger side door in the front.

  “Silverthorne.” Carefully we slid Fang in the seat. I went to fasten his seatbelt but she shook her head. “I think that might make his breathing worse. Let’s get going.”

  I closed the door then opened the rear passenger door.

  No Idris.

  Had he fled on foot? That didn’t seem likely.

  A white small rabbit reached up on his hind legs from the back seat floor of the car. Its paws rested on the back seat, eyeing me.

  Wendy slid in her seat, reaching around to buckle her seatbelt. She spoke without turning around. “It’s a defensive spell. Should wear off in a few hours. But really the lack of professional courtesy was appalling.” She huffed. “I’ll be lodging a complaint with the Paranormal Medical Review Board. That kind of behavior goes against the spirit of our practice.”

  Idris was a rabbit. I couldn’t help but smile, letting my fangs show.

  “Such a bad bunny.” I stroked one of the rabbit’s long, soft ears. “I wish that Djinn hadn’t destroyed my cell phone. This photo of us together would be epic.” I leaned closer, giving an ear a light tug. “Be glad she didn’t change you into a fish.”

  7

  Should I have mentioned to him that our Good Samaritan was a witch? Nope. I was ninety-nine percent sure Idris would try to screw us over at some point on this little adventure.

  The rabbit was most likely furious but really with a bunny it’s so hard to tell. Maybe he was just thinking about carrots.

  At least I didn’t have to worry about Idris causing trouble for a while.

  I was worried about Fang though. And I wasn’t the only one. Wendy frequently glanced over at him, speaking to him in a low voice.

  She likes him. A lot.

  I was as thunderstruck as a vampire can be when they are used to the world revolving around them. Of course she liked Fang.

  There was nothing objectionable about him and a lot to like. Females, human and paranormal, liked Fang. That was nothing new.

  Fang didn’t respond much beyond a mumble. How well did these two know each other?

  I wanted to feed. I wanted to hurt someone. Anyone. I absolutely did not want to be in this car.

  I sulked in the back seat, listening for Fang’s breathing.

  Within a half hour we pulled off another county road and repeated the process of bouncing along an unpaved drive. By now it was mostly snow-covered but we hit deep potholes with alarming regularity. Fang’s groans from the jarring impact filled the car.


  “Can you help him out with pain?” I asked. My voice was pitched high even to my own ears.

  “You want me to put a spell on him?” She met my eyes in the mirror. Clearly, she was shocked by my request.

  It wasn’t a usual vampire request.

  I bit back my “Isn’t that what you do?”

  “Please help him,” I said.

  Wendy stopped the car. She took one hand from the steering wheel, closed her eyes, raised her fist and then opened her hand. Her lips moved the entire time, but I didn’t understand a single word. Witches used a secret healing language known only to them. Good policy, for it prevents theft of their spells from the more unscrupulous among us.

  Immediately Fang fell silent. Wendy put the car back in gear and continued up the bumpy drive without a peep from Fang.

  His breathing was labored but it was still there.

  Beyond a thicket of trees, we pulled up to a traditional log cabin home. Unlike Triana’s, it didn’t have giant windows or vaulted rooflines. The stack of sleds by the door indicated it was a full house.

  I hoped the babies had already arrived, making our visit moot. Then we could get Fang back to town and x-ray his chest. I glanced down at Idris, wondering what to do with the rabbit in a house of shifters.

  “Bring him in,” Wendy read my thoughts. “I’m sure the children will love to play with him. I’ll send someone to help with Fang.”

  The rabbit’s ears shot up. His whiskers trembled.

  I loved Karma.

  Unlike witches who seemed to breathe teamwork, like all vampires I preferred to work by myself. Even in an amphitheater full of spectators I was working alone. They were nothing to me. I didn’t know how she could stand all the collaboration but somehow witches thrived.

  I leaned over the front seat.

  Fang’s eyes were closed. “Hey, you ok?” I breathed in his ear.

  A faint smile appeared but he didn’t open his eyes. “Just tired. Let me rest. You’re relentless.”

  My own smile disappeared when I realized he wasn’t teasing but in some dream state. Hell and damnation. I wasn’t going to risk Fang’s health for some shifters who reproduced like, well shifters.