The Ten Roads to Riches

by Ken Fisher

  Every evening, Monday through Thursday, after drilling and filling, she sought a seminar hotel. Her two favorites were the Plaza and the Grand Hyatt, since they held multiple seminars every night. She picked seminars that looked like they might have the most money and a not-too-old crowd. That’s how she got to us. Then she approached the gate keepers and showed them her dentist business card. She said she could almost always talk herself in. If she couldn’t, she’d go down the hall to another seminar and get in there. Inside, there was always free food. Four nights a week she ate free—very frugal. She mingled pre-seminar, seeking targets. She was very direct—asked what they were doing there, told them her career, asked about theirs, and generally flirted—all with men picked at her discretion. In that first conversation she always asked if they wanted children—right then, right there—because the children topic was to her both critical and a gateway as to whether they might be appropriate marriage material or not.

  With ones she liked she exchanged business cards and offered one free dental exam—that offer made them remember her. In a week she would call men she liked. If they didn’t recall her vividly she knew she hadn’t made a great impression and backed off. If they did, she asked to meet for drinks on the weekend. She said she’d been doing it a bit over a year and had dates every single weekend, taking every Sunday off. She received several marriage proposals, but never yet from quite the right guy.

  But she said she had every confidence that within a year she would find Mr. Right. I’m sure she did. Marilyn would have been proud. We never heard from her again (we stopped doing that kind of seminar), but I believe she succeeded since she built a machine for it. She seemed way out on the bell curve in her method. But there is someone for everyone, and I’m sure one night, the right moneyed man met her and had his light lit. Few are as disciplined and dedicated to this road as this young woman was. But if you’re disciplined, you can do exactly what she did and it will work for you, too. I’m certain of it.

  LIKE A FINE WINE—WELL MAINTAINED

  You probably must marry someone older. Few richies are very young—only 114 of the Forbes 400 are under 40. And many are married. However, Snapchat cofounder Bobby Murphy, worth $1.8 billion, is a mere 28 and still unattached.6 (Sorry, ladies, his compadre Evan Spiegel, just 26 and worth $2.1 billion, squires supermodel Miranda Kerr.)7 Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, 31, went off the market after this book first came out, as did Ivanka Trump, who stands to inherit billions from her real-estate-mogul-turned-president daddy, Donald. But two of three Airbnb cofounders—Joe Gebbia and Brian Chesky ($3.3 billion each and both in their mid-30s)—are single.8 So is the youngest SABMiller scion, Julio Mario Santo Domingo III—just 31, and worth $2.4 billion.9 But most are older. This isn’t just the older guy, younger wife—older rich women like younger men, too. Examples: The younger-man marriages of Julianne Moore and Katie Couric. Think of people like a fine wine, improved with age, and in their prime. If you find this assessment lacking romance, remember love is vital on this road, but romance is somewhat optional.

  While discounting romance, a fine wine must be well maintained. And like a good bottle of wine, a marriage must be packaged well, with a good prenuptial agreement, particularly outside community property states. The prenup will keep you contained in case of any breakage.

  Even in community property states a prenup is vital—assets acquired before marriage can be in play. You need a deal for who gets what, how, and when. Prenuptials are unpopular among young folk these days. They feel too contractual—overwhelming romance. But to marry money, you must. If that’s distasteful, consider: You wouldn’t enter another arrangement without a contract. You don’t adopt a child, buy a home or car, start a job, hire a money manager, even join a gym without a contract. Why is marriage different? Since marriage is arguably the most serious partnership, a prenup is even more vital.

  Sometimes wine goes bad! You can’t control the other person in a marriage. Hence, the matter of divorce. It’s never a goal but always a risk. What happens then? How much should you get? Put another way: How much is your life worth? What should your return be per year married? Your time and affection are valuable. It’s up to you to value it. If you don’t, no one else will.

  Consider Ron Perelman, a private equity OPMer (Chapter 7) worth $12.2 billion.10 Ironically, some say he married wife number one, Faith Golding, for money. Shortly after their 1965 marriage (no prenup),11 Ron borrowed money from Faith to buy his first business. But Ron was super successful. They divorced 20 years later. She got $8 million12—less than half a million for each married year. That seems light from a guy like Perelman.

  Wife number two, Claudia Cohen, a high-society gossip columnist and television personality, fared better. When they quit, Claudia got $80 million for her nine years and one daughter—$8.9 million a year!13 Wife three, Patricia Duff, was a political fund-raiser (great way to meet richies, as said before) and sometimes-TV personality. If you want some juicy soap opera–like divorce shenanigans, Google their divorce. She had one child by him and got $30 million after 18 months of marriage.14 That’s $20 million a year just to bicker in Le Cirque with a guy who couldn’t stay married!

  Next came Ellen Barkin. I really loved her in 1991’s Switch and 1992’s Man Trouble. Later, her career slowed, but she used celebrity for money through marriage. (See Chapter 4 on using celebrity to get money and acting being a young and rough road.) She married Perelman in 2000; it ended by 2006. Reports vary on what she got. Her friends claim $20 million, his claim $60 million. Say it’s $40 million—$6.66 million a year for entertaining the guy who owns Revlon. In preparing this book and reading her side of the saga, I believe she thought her marriage would last and was shocked it ended. Divorce, again, is never a goal, but always a risk. Still, as Chapter 4 shows, precious few actresses make $6 million a year. And I bet none as old as Barkin do.

  Do the math. Know what you’re worth and demand it up-front.

  But $6.66 million a year is far from $20 million. Where did Barkin go wrong? All his other wives had at least one child—she didn’t. Maybe that was it. Also, she had a prenup, but she just didn’t demand enough. Looking at Perelman’s history, she should have known there was the risk he couldn’t stay married and demanded pay for early failure. After all, if the marriage endured, the prenuptial terms would never get applied and cost him nothing. My point: Always demand a lot up-front. What is “a lot”? In Perelman’s case, you use his history, as in, “at least as much as your best-paid former got—inflation-adjusted.” Hopefully wife number five, Anna Chapman, took note.

  If you don’t do this right at the start, it costs at the end. Perelman has more experience and better lawyers than you do, so a great lawyer is essential. For example, Heather Mills McCartney got more out of Paul McCartney than Perelman’s financially most successful wife, Claudia Cohen, did—both with one child each. And that despite Perelman being vastly richer than Paul McCartney, and Heather Mills being a more obvious problem in front of a judge than Cohen. Even the judge said Mills was a pest!15 And judges rarely talk, much less squawk.

  You need a good prenup because the list of moneyed marriages ending in divorce is long, like all marriages. A few examples? Neil Diamond’s ex, Marcia Murphey, got $150 million for her 25-year marriage.16 Diane Richie, Lionel Richie’s former wife, got $20 million for eight years. Wendy McCaw, wife of telecom magnate Craig McCaw, got $460 million—$23 million a year for 20 years! The McCaws did it right and remain amicable.17 If you do it, do it right with a prenup, and remain amicable after.

  Anna Nicole Smith is perhaps the most infamous. She married James Howard Marshall, an attorney and oil tycoon, who passed away leaving only a verbal agreement (her claim) to give her half his money. She died a few years later of a drug overdose, with the estate still in dispute (there are other tabloid details I won’t delve into here—anything you want to know and more is in the blogosphere). The moral of Ms. Smith’s tale is, always do it right:

  Get it in wri
ting with a good divorce attorney up-front.

  Don’t do anything that looks stupid. In this, stupid is as stupid looks.

  If you marry a good lawyer, you lose. They know; you don’t.

  Get a grip. You can’t win on any road to riches without basic life control.

  MEN CAN PLAY, TOO!

  The stereotype of “marrying money” is the young woman, older man. But this isn’t just a female’s game! Plenty of men marry successful, wealthy women—older or younger. Fewer, yes, because men otherwise control more wealth. That’s not sexist. Just look at the Forbes 400—it’s mostly men, for whatever reason. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t as legitimate a road for men as women.

  For example, if John McCain has had successes in life qualifying him to run for president, surely his biggest, as near as I can tell, is marrying well. Great-looking, long-lasting, graceful, and mega-rich Cindy! (You’ve heard the jokes. She even came with her own beer supply!) Ditto for former Secretary of State John Kerry (net worth $199 million),18 who married his wealth—twice! Wife one, Julia Thorne, was an American blueblood with a fortune to match. But she couldn’t stomach political life (who can blame her?) and suffered from depression.19 Kerry divorced and did it again with Teresa Heinz. Ironically, she married her money, too! Working as a UN translator, she met and married Republican Senator John Heinz—the ketchup Heinz. When he died in a 1991 plane crash, she got about a billion, maybe more.20 By 1995, she’d changed parties and remarried. Kerry proves you can marry money that came from marrying money.

  I would describe Kerry as someone who used celebrity to marry money, similar to what Ellen Barkin did.

  Marrying well works for men as well as women.

  Jane Fonda’s first hubby, former politician Tom Hayden, got away with between $2 million to over $10 million, depending on which source you believe. For a third-tier politico, that’s not bad. Then Fonda parlayed her aging fame into a richer marriage (like Ellen Barkin!) with Forbes 400-er Ted Turner. She must have known it couldn’t last. She has claimed she never had a good relationship with any man. My guess is half those who marry money don’t expect it to last, based on either divorce being so common or their own life experiences.

  Marital Bliss

  But they needn’t end sadly. McCain’s and Kerry’s marriages seem to work. Christopher McKown, president of a small health care consulting business, has been married to Abigail Johnson for nearly 30 years. She came from Fidelity family money and now runs part of the firm and is worth $13 billion in her own right.21 Meg Whitman, onetime eBay CEO worth $2.3 billion,22 is still married to her brain surgeon husband—36 years and counting.23 Brain surgery’s pretty good money, but not as good as being married to a former CEO.

  Brain surgeons seem to have a sixth sense about marrying well. Take the late Dr. Glen Nelson. He had the good fortune to marry former Carlson CEO Marilyn Carlson Nelson—net worth $1.6 billion.24 Did he marry her just for money? I’d guess decidedly not—they were together for decades before he passed in 2016, had four children, and suffered the tragic death of one daughter. Plus, for a period Marilyn left the family business to raise her kids and support her husband’s medical career. Family money is nice, but CEO money makes it nicer—Marilyn returned to replace her founder father as CEO. Dr. Nelson wasn’t the only fellow clever enough to marry a wealthy Carlson girl. Edwin “Skip” Gage has been long, and by all accounts happily, married to Marilyn’s equally wealthy sister, Barbara Carlson Gage.

  Stedman Graham is interesting. He’s Oprah’s longtime companion, and though once engaged, they remain unmarried. He’s CEO of his own company, S. Graham & Associates, a consulting firm that seems to primarily promote his books and speaking engagements.25 He’s a smart guy, very active in his community, but maybe wouldn’t be so successful if not for his connection to Oprah. But Oprah says they’ll never marry.26 He won’t see a dime of Oprah’s $2.8 billion27 since she decided not to include him in her will.28 But here’s a guy who fell in with an insanely wealthy woman, and they’ve been together forever and seem very happy. He doesn’t seem to care about locking up any of her wealth for himself, but he’s benefited from her wealth and connections. Remember, marrying well doesn’t mean cynically finding a rich target to dupe. Hopefully, it means finding someone you can love and respect, and my goodness, doesn’t it help if she has money, too?

  He Said/She’s Dead

  Warning: Not everyone on this road means well—male or female. Another true story: Margaret Lesher married well and inherited a publishing fortune from her first husband—his family owned the Contra Costa Times and sister publications around San Francisco. When the 65-year-old widow married a 40-year-old professional cowboy, eyebrows were raised. Soon, the two went camping in Arizona, alone, by a lake. What happened next is the ultimate “he said/she’s dead”—she was found in the morning floating facedown in eight feet of water. He claimed she must have gone for a midnight swim after they shared two bottles of champagne and some beers and drowned. Or did he get her soused, take her out in their canoe, and pitch her over? Her relatives alleged he drowned her but couldn’t prove it. No prenup, but her will stipulated he got $5 million.29 Some may just want your money, not you.

  LOVE, MARRIAGE, AND MONEY

  Love is in the eye of the beholder. What one man loves, another finds boring. By the time you’re my age, you’ve met a great many couples where it’s impossible for you to see what one of them sees in the other. Yet that doesn’t mean love isn’t burning brightly there—and forever. It isn’t for me to tell you what to find fascinating in a mate. But whatever it is that turns you on, there’s no reason that person can’t be wealthy as well. If you found wealth repugnant, which some do, you wouldn’t be reading this book in the first place.

  Many settle in marriage too easily. When romance strikes and endures for a relatively few months, folks start thinking “marriage,” as if love can only be found with that one person in life. Wrong! There’s an old saying, “There is someone for everyone.” Well, if you work at it, there are really quite a lot of people you could fall permanently in love with. It’s just a matter of working to find them and then picking the very best one for you. The most optimal. And that can include wealth.

  Today there are so many wealthy people that if you set your sights solely among the wealthy, you can find love there, just as likely as you could find love at the local bookstore. Perhaps the most important step is accepting that it’s OK to seek love among the wealthy—that there’s nothing wrong with it.

  Think it through, go where the money is, home in locally, make a plan, and work the plan like our young dentist example—and there’s simply no reason you can’t find wealthy love, and in no longer than it would take to find it among the nonwealthy. It’s really all a mindset, and a fine one at that, if getting rich this way is your goal.

  DO IT BY THE BOOK

  Like other roads, there’s more you can read to help your journey. Most “marry rich” books are satires or take potshots at both sides of mixed-wealth marriages and are a disservice. Ignore them. A few particularly good books that may help you include:

  How to Marry the Rich by Ginie Sayles. This is a good marriage and dating guide even if you don’t want to marry wealthy. Good for anyone single who doesn’t want to be.

  How to Marry Money by Kevin Doyle. Loaded with tips—at times tongue in cheek—it can seem satire-like but isn’t. The author does satire on the same subject under the pen name “Ruth Leslee Greene.”

  How to Marry Money. Same title, but this one is by Susan Wright. It never sold well but is a serious stab at the subject, with ideas you can deploy.

  The Guide to Marrying Well

  Jane Austen told us it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Too true! And not just for fortune-hunting ladies. Today, when folks can freely choose mates, marrying well is a real road to riches. Scoff, but big bucks can be made capturing the right mate. So what would we tel
l Ellen Barkin to do better next time?

  Right place, right time. Identify the right location and go where they are. It’s easy. Also, check local laws and seek a community property state in case things go wrong.

  Be where they are. Most richies are work-consumed. Go where they work. Proximity is critical. Charity work or political fundraising is a great way to meet the mega-rich, but only the right kind of causes work. Fundraising to save the piping plover probably just wastes your time. Investment seminars are also great for meeting targets (and for free food).

  Age matters. Fact: Most wealthy people are older. You may meet a young heiress, but she’s likely already surrounded by potential mates. Your odds improve with a more mature crowd.

  Get a prenuptial agreement. Think long and hard about what you’re worth and demand it up-front. Failing to do so may mean you get nothing— particularly in a common law state. And get a great divorce lawyer. The better the lawyer, the bigger your payout.

  Don’t do anything stupid. The judge and the world are watching— particularly if you marry someone very wealthy. Learn from Heather Mills and Anna Nicole Smith and get your life together. It may mean getting a bigger payout earlier.

  NOTES

  1. Robert Frank, “Marrying for Love . . . of Money,” Wall Street Journal (December 14, 2007), http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119760031991928727.html?mod=hps_us_inside_today (accessed April 14, 2008).

  2. Scott Greenberg, “Summary of the Latest Federal Income Tax Data, 2015 Update,” Tax Foundation Fiscal Fact (November 2015, No. 491).