Loving Jack

by Cat Miller

  “Hey, Jack.” She called to him. He turned back to her, looking hopeful. “Let me know if you ever change your mind.”

  He smiled sadly, “You let me know if you ever change yours, Gracie.”

  TWO

  “I’m not going and that’s that.”

  Grace pulled the covers over her head and tried to ignore Jessie. They’d planned to go skiing, but Grace just wanted to stay in bed, order pizza, and watch old movies all weekend. A little Breakfast Club and some St. Elmo’s Fire would be her only companions. Well maybe she’d let Ben and Jerry come over for a visit. Grace had just heard of a new flavor called salted caramel core and that sounded like an excellent way to waste some calories.

  Jessie’s voice was muffled by the blankets but not enough for Grace to block out the lecture she knew was coming.

  “Look, Grace, I know you’re upset about your bi-guy, but you need to get over it. You’ve been moping for nearly a week. You fucked the guy. So what? He wasn’t the first and he won’t be the last.” Jessie continued packing a bag for Grace.

  Grace poked her head out of the blankets, “He was my first one-night stand and he will most certainly be the last!” she shot back.

  Grace was still disappointed in herself for being so . . . easy. She still couldn’t figure out how she’d gone from dinner with a guy she’d just met to the ho on the hood of his car. And if she were to be honest, she was a little bit heartbroken over what she’d done with Jack. It was the one time she’d totally let herself go and look how it’d turned out. She had a ginormous carbohydrate binge inducing crush on a guy she’d only spent a few hours with. He was out there doing his thing and she was a mess. Well she didn’t actually know what he was doing. They hadn’t even exchanged phone numbers. Not that she would have a reason to call him. What would she even say, ‘Excuse me, Jack. I just wanted you to know that you gave me the best orgasm of my life and I think about you all the time.’ That didn’t sound desperate at all, did it?

  “I know you really liked the guy, and I have to admit that he must be spec-fucking-tacular if you –the queen of self-possession¬ are hung up on him after only one date. The best thing to do now is get out and get circulating again. Find someone new to date. You’re fucking gorgeous for chrissake! If you wanted, you could have the entire straight male student body and some of the females panting at your heels!”

  This was an old argument. Grace knew she wasn’t unattractive with her lengthy mahogany waves, deep blue eyes, and hourglass figure. She was confident in her allure as a woman by now, but would that pay off her school loans or put food on the table? No, it wouldn’t. Not unless she became a stripper and that would only last as long as her looks held out. She’d never put any stock in her appearance. That would all fade one day. Beauty was a useless commodity in her mind. Grace could find someone new to date but she didn’t want to yet. It was ridiculous because she and Jack had never and would never date, but she didn’t want a rebound boyfriend. If she hooked up with somebody right now it would only be a distraction for her until she got over her unreasonable fixation on Jack. The guy she spent one evening with and couldn’t forget.

  “Let’s get you up and moving now,” Jessie insisted again. “I refuse to leave without you and you know how hard I worked for this trip. I won’t get a refund either, it’s too late. How do you think your sweet, loving parents will feel when they find out you didn’t go? They’ll be so disappointed if you stay home.” Jessie broke out the big guns.

  Jessie had scraped and saved her tips from waiting tables at a local pub to pay for this trip. Grace’s parents had paid for her portion of the trip as a Christmas gift. Damn. She couldn’t stay home and waste all that money. It could have gone to better use at home. Her parents believed she spent too much time on her studies. They were overjoyed to see her with a roommate who was a good student and made time for a social life. She had to go.

  Grace threw off the covers and stomped into the bathroom. Jessie cheered and did a victory lap. It was a very short victory lap in the tiny room that ended with Jessie jumping on her bed like a trampoline.

  Grace shut the bathroom door and leaned over the counter to stare at her reflection. She was in a sorry state with her hair in a crooked bun and dark circles forming under her eyes from lack of sleep over the last week. This behavior was unacceptable. She was not this girl who mooned over love lost. Wait . . . love? Where had that come from? She smothered that thought immediately. She wasn’t the girl who believed in love at first sight . . . or first one-night stands either.

  Grace resolved to get her head on straight after a week of moping and she jumped in the shower and began her beauty routine. This trip was just what she needed. They were going to have a great time.

  ****

  Grace was miserable. They arrived at the lodge late because their flight was delayed, so they hadn’t made it to the slopes that day. A group of Jessie’s friends, including Jessie’s boyfriend, Dave, were along for the trip as well. She learned after they checked in that Dave’s best friend broke his leg in a motorcycle accident the week before and had to cancel. Naturally, Jessie decided to stay in Dave’s room with him instead of bunking with Grace. So she had a room all to herself. That didn’t mean she was going to get any peace though. After a long day of traveling, Grace wanted to turn in early, but Jessie wasn’t having it.

  Grace was sitting in the center of a semi-circular, high backed leather booth in one of the bars on the resort. She was surrounded by Jessie and Dave on one side, and Tina and Tavon on the other. Luke was on the end looking just as unhappy as Grace was at the moment. They’d just settled in and already the couples were canoodling and whispering to each other. Grace did her best not to wonder what Jack would think of this place. She tried not to remember how he’d held her hand and drew circles on her palm when she sat in a booth across from him. Would he do that now if he were here? She put real effort into trying not to guess what kind of drink he would order. Would he like fruity and sweet, a beer, maybe wine, or something harder? She tried, but surrounded as she was by happy couples, it was difficult not to want someone of her own to snuggle up to. Unfortunately for her, Jack was the only person her fool mind wanted to cast in the part of leading man.

  Grace turned her mind to checking out the dance floor and the patrons crowded around the bar nearest to them waiting for one of the bartenders to fetch drinks. The bar itself was high polished dark wood with a brass kick bar. A long mirror lined the wall behind the bar and reflected the faces of the people drinking and laughing. Crystal tumblers, wine glasses, and martini glasses were suspended from racks above the mirror. No cover charge or plastic red cups in this joint, no sir.

  The place was hopping for so early in the evening, but what else is there to do at a ski resort but drink and dance after the slopes shut down for the evening. This bar was very upscale and Grace was glad she’d packed a few pretty dresses. Jeans wouldn’t cut it in this crowd. A very attractive and quite buxom waitress in the same tiny black dress worn by all of the waitresses came to take their drink order. Grace ordered a diet cola. Before the waitress could hurry away Jessie whispered something to her. The waitress peeked over at Grace and smiled.

  “What the hell was that about?” Grace asked her meddlesome roommate.

  “It was about you loosening the fuck up and having some fun. That’s all.” She smiled sweetly at Grace before returning her attention to Dave. The woman was a pain in the ass.

  By the time the waitress returned both of the happy couples had gone for a spin on the floor, leaving her and Luke to stare at the assortment of drinks and shots she lined up on the table. Luke looked at her and shrugged. He pushed a drink and shot her way before taking his own. He raised his shot in the air for a toast.

  “To better luck in love. Or a harder heart. One of the two,” he said with a wry smile.

  Well shit. She could absolutely drink to that. She raised her glass and said, “To better luck in love,” and tossed back the shot. It burn
ed all the way down. The bracing heat warmed her from the inside out. She coughed and sputtered a bit, but already she was feeling less tense. Grace wasn’t much of a drinker. That would be the only shot for her. She sipped at the pink drink in front of her and Luke moved around the booth so they didn’t have to scream at each other. They’d hung out together before so Grace could tell he wasn’t really himself.

  “So . . . woman trouble, huh?” she asked.

  Luke shook his head, “Not anymore. She’s somebody else’s trouble now.”

  Grace remembered then that Luke usually had a cute little redhead on his arm. His jaw tightened and he leaned back against the booth and stared up at the ceiling.

  “You wanna talk about it?” she asked.

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “There isn’t much to talk about. I caught her cheating. That’s that. I’m done with her. This trip was supposed to be a gift for her. We’ve been dating for a year.” He swallowed hard. Grace’s heart ached for the guy. He was clearly in pain. They were both there trying to forget someone.

  “I fell for a guy after only a few hours. I let him fuck me on the hood of his car,” she admitted. Luke looked at her wide-eyed.

  “Oh wait, it gets better,” she nodded. “Afterward he confessed that he’s bi-sexual and not ready for monogamy.”

  Luke’s mouth dropped open.

  “So I’ve spent the last week in misery over a relationship that turned out to be a one-night stand. I feel like a ho of the lowest order right now. I didn’t even ask if he was dating anyone before I let him hit home base.”

  “Duuuuude,” Luke drawled. “You’re like, so not a slut. I was actually wondering if you were a lesbian.”

  Now Grace’s mouth dropped open. What the hell would make him think she was gay?

  “It’s just that I’ve never seen you with a guy, is all. I mean, you’re super-hot and you’re always alone. So . . .” Luke added quickly. He must have seen the shock on her face. He was a guy. To him if an attractive female wasn’t with a guy it must be because she liked girls. Grace laughed out loud and slid out of the booth.

  “Why don’t we go dance? We’re here. Let’s not think about our regrets for a while, yeah? We might as well get our money’s worth for this trip.”

  She held her hand out to Luke and he took it and stood to look down at her. Why hadn’t she ever noticed how attractive Luke was before? The man had thick dark hair and crystal blue eyes. When he stood, his broad shoulders blocked out the light. Grace figured he had to be at least 6’2". He smiled for the first time that night as he led her to the dance floor. With the music vibrating in her chest and liquor loosening her limbs Grace let go of her worries for a while. She and Luke moved together with the comfortable knowledge that neither of them was looking for anything more. They had a common enemy of sorts to defeat. Of course, she acknowledged that Luke had a far more valid reason for his misery. He was mourning the loss of a year of his life. She only had a few hours to regret.

  The thumping music slowed and couples began to pair off and dance closer while others wandered off of the floor for a break. As the crowd thinned and Luke took her into his arms for another dance she caught sight of a sandy head under the lights at the bar and her stomach dropped. It was Jack. He was there and he wasn’t alone. There was a leggy blond at his side. She was standing practically between his legs with her hand rubbing circles on his chest. She smiled softly up at Jack and spoke while he curled a long lock of her hair around his finger.

  “Are you alright?” Luke said into her ear and followed her eyes to the bar.

  She quickly turned them so Luke was blocking Jack’s view. If Jack looked up he’d see her there, gaping at him like a suffocating fish. Luke stopped moving and lifted her chin.

  “You look like you might be sick. Do you want to go back to the lodge?” he asked with real concern.

  Tears burned the back of her eyes and she fought them back. When she saw Jack, her first thought was that he was there for her. Her heart soared at the idea that he’d been thinking of her as much as she’d been obsessing over him. And now he was there to tell her he’d changed his mind, he actually did want to give a monogamous relationship a try. Then she saw his girlfriend and her stomach felt like she was in a free fall.

  Grace peeked around Luke’s arm. Jack and his blond had moved from the bar to the dance floor. He held her to his chest and danced to the swaying music. It was obvious they knew each other well. They danced and spoke with the ease of long time lovers.

  “That’s him,” she told Luke, “my one-night stand.”

  “Ah fuck. Let me get you out of here.” Luke gently took her upper arm and they left the dance floor.

  Luke had seen the way the blond caressed Jack just as clearly as Grace had. Grace pulled Luke to a stop when they neared the restrooms. She was suddenly nauseous. That one shot felt like it was burning its way back up her throat.

  “I’m going to splash some water on my face.”

  “Okay. I’ll wait for you at the table and we’ll get out of here.” He patted her shoulder consolingly. Grace nodded and scurried into the powder room. Luke really was a great guy. His ex-girlfriend had to be an idiot to cheat on him.

  Grace was grateful to find a long row of stalls instead of a tiny restroom and a line of ladies waiting their turn. She entered a stall and sat down on the toilet seat to put her head between her knees. She breathed deeply and focused on the pink veins running through the cream white marble floor. People came and went from the restroom, chatting and laughing. Toilets flushed and the sinks turned on and off as ladies took care of their business and moved back out to the bar. She sat there growing more and more annoyed by her reaction to seeing Jack. Yes, it was a shock to see him there at the lodge, but she knew she’d see him again sooner or later. He’d made it clear he was dating and would continue to do so. He was with a girl and that seemed to hurt her more than if he’d been with a guy. What the fuck was that about? Was she jealous of the girl or angry with herself for not being more accepting? That girl was gorgeous. She could have any man in the bar, but she was with Jack, a man who wouldn’t commit to anyone. Obviously, Jack had either lied to Grace or the blond was willing to do whatever it took to be with Jack, even if that meant she had to share his affections.

  The restroom door opened and at least two women entered mid-conversation. “I don’t give a shit what Jack says, he is not okay. That girl hurt him somehow. He swears they just met but he doesn’t act like it.”

  Grace’s heart sped. Where they talking about her Jack?

  “I know, girl. He didn’t want to come at all. He’s been quiet and withdrawn all week,” said a second woman. It was quiet for a few moments while the ladies used the facilities. Grace sat frozen waiting for them to continue. They had to be talking about Jack.

  “He’s hurting Victor’s feelings, I can tell you that. Why would he ask him to come just to ignore the man?” A toilet flushed and the first voice moved to the sinks. Grace leaned forward to peek through the gap in the stall door. It was definitely Jack’s blond talking. She continued as she washed her hands. “All I know is that I hate seeing him this way. I’m his best friend and there’s something he feels he can’t tell me. That’s never happened before.”

  She was his best friend? Not a lover? Grace thought back over all she’d seen on the dance floor. She supposed they hadn’t done anything overtly sexual, but they were surely affectionate.

  Another flush and a second blond moved into Grace’s view at the sinks. “Maybe we should just leave him be. If you hadn’t insisted he come, Jack would have stayed home and Victor wouldn’t be feeling like he’s done something wrong.”

  “Victor was invited weeks ago. If Jack had uninvited him at the last minute it would have been far more hurtful,” Jack’s bestie said, as the two women moved out of the restroom together. The door closed behind them and cut off their conversation.

  Grace stood and left the stall to pace back and forth with her h
ead swimming as a couple of ladies came and went from the restroom. She wanted what she’d overheard to be true, because that meant she’d been more to Jack than just an easy lay. She wanted to run back to the dance floor and leap into Jack’s arms so she could tell him how much she’d missed him. But really, what had changed? Nothing at all had changed. If Jack had changed his mind about dating her he would have come back, but he hadn’t. He was there at the resort with someone else. He had a boyfriend along for the trip. Fuck! How was she going to survive the next four days if she had to see Jack with someone else? Watching him dance with his blond friend had made her want to cry and vomit.

  She took a few calming breaths and left the restroom. Luke probably thought she’d fallen in. Just as the door closed behind her Grace was yanked off of her feet and dragged just around the corner into the darkness of the empty corridor. She was planted against the wall and held there by a hard male body. The music pounding through the wall into her spine and the sound of people laughing faded away when she looked into Jack’s deep blue eyes. His eyes were purely blue in this light and dark as storm clouds when he glared at her.

  “Jack?” It had come out too high at the end, like a question. There was no question though. This was Jack and he was clearly angry. He lowered his head and nipped her lower lip. Grace gasped and he growled against her mouth, kissing her roughly. She didn’t mean to kiss him back but her body responded to the nearness of the man who’d been plaguing her thoughts and dreams. Jack stopped the kiss abruptly and nipped her ear.

  “I saw you dancing with your boyfriend,” he growled against her stinging earlobe. “Does he kiss you like that, Grace?” Her short dress had ridden up. He was tightly nestled between her tights and he ground his erection into her pelvis. Only her panties and the smooth material of his slacks separated them. “Does he get hard at the sight of you, like I do?”