Claiming What's Mine

by Holt, Leah

  Jayden didn't hesitate, taking long strides from the driveway, up the ramp, and into the house. My heart began to race, my palms were sweaty and my chest was tight. Jayden and my father hadn't seen each other in such a long time, the idea of them being in the same room together terrified me.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Fable, I really appreciate this.”

  “Oh, it's not up to me, Sweetie, it's Greg's choice. If he told me to kick you off our property and call the cops, I'd be doing that instead.” My mother let out a gentle laugh, giving him a lopsided grin. “Luckily, that wasn't what he said.”

  “I won't take up too much of his time. I just need to talk to him for a minute.”

  Thinning her lips, she looked down the hall. “Last door on the right, and take your time. I think you both have things to say.”

  Jay looked back at me over his shoulder, his eyes telling me everything would be alright, but his body was tense, as if he was about to go fight in a bare knuckle boxing match.

  Cupping my hands under my chin, my mother walked up beside me and wrapped her hands around my shoulders. Giving me a squeeze, she kissed my cheek.

  “It's alright, Blue, they both need this.”

  I watched him as he walked down the hall, taking the handle in his hand and knocking before walking inside. He didn't look back at me before he disappeared into the room, and that made my heart slam inside my chest and my stomach jump into my throat.

  “I hope you're right,” I said to my mother, giving her an unsure smile.

  All I could do was hope that he'd get what he was looking for out of this.

  Bliss deserved her father, and I deserved to be with the man I had loved for a lifetime.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Jayden

  The handle was cold in my palm, my muscles pulsing and relaxing at the same time as my adrenaline started to flow.

  I never had the chance to confront him before, and now all I wanted to do was grab him by the shirt, tug him into my face, and let him have it. He was supposed to be someone to look up to, someone you could talk to, someone who wouldn't judge you if you were sorry for your sins.

  But I hadn't sinned, I had only loved his daughter with all my heart, and that hadn't changed.

  In my eyes, he was the one who had done wrong. He kept us apart, and he kept me from my child. There wasn't much room in my heart for forgiveness, not for that. I wouldn't get to relive those years with my daughter, they were gone forever.

  I won't miss another day of her life, and there's nothing he can do to stop me now.

  Opening the door, the room was dark, with thin rays of light seeping between two curtains on the window. Small particles of dust were floating in the beam, creating a row of sparkles that rolled and tumbled as if they were dancing.

  “Come on in, Jayden.”

  Greg's voice was really hoarse and soft, reminding me of an old man I had met once in a bar back in Phoenix. The man was in his sixties, maybe even seventies, and every day he sat in that bar, in the same seat on the end, drinking shots of blackberry brandy and smoking cigars. His voice sounded the same, really scratchy and low, like his throat was made of sandpaper.

  My eyes adjusted slowly to the dark room, finding shapes as they morphed from a fuzzy blur into an actual object. There was a nightstand next to the bed, and a worn recliner in the corner near the window.

  The walls had pictures of fields with yellow flowers and there was a cross hanging beside the headboard. Moving my eyes to the mattress, nothing could have prepared me for what I would see.

  Greg was laying in the bed, his face so much more slender and lean than I remembered. Waving me over, I approached the bedside and noticed that his arms were thin as toothpicks, and his eyes were sunken in, with deep purple rings underneath.

  There was a metal bar with a handle dangling down from the ceiling, and a wheelchair next to the bed with a rolling food tray tucked behind it.

  “Don't be afraid, I'm not going to bite you,” Greg said, taking notice of my eyes examining the stuff around him. “At least, I won't bite anymore. There was a time where I'd bare my teeth, you remember that.” Attempting to chuckle, he started coughing.

  He looked so frail, like he would break in half if I walked too fast and the wind off my body hit him.

  Greg smiled as he caught his breath and the coughing subsided. “You have that same look on your face now that you did back then. You look terrified.” Gripping the handle, he pulled himself up a little more. “What, does a cat got your tongue?”

  What's wrong with him? What happened to her father?

  “No, I just. . .” Pausing, I felt so wrong all of a sudden for all the feelings I had, for the thought of yelling at him and being aggressive. “I just—”

  “Didn't expect this?”

  That was an understatement for sure. With everything that happened in the past week, I didn't see a lot of shit coming my way.

  Nodding, I tucked my hands under my arms and stood awkwardly in the center of the room. “I didn't expect a lot of things I found out recently.”

  Greg kept his eyes on mine and his mouth motionless. He didn't smile, he didn't frown or grin or even twitch. He just stared at me like he was waiting for me to say more.

  “This is hard for me to do. My mind is a mess right now.” I was being as honest as possible with him. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure how to get them out.

  “Go on, speak what's on your mind, Son.”

  “Honestly, I don't even know what to say.” Anchoring my gaze on Greg, I searched his eyes for an answer. I needed some guidance, because I didn't have a clue how to deal with any of this. “You were once a man people turned to, help me find the words.”

  “Start where it all began, what do you want to say to me?”

  Raking my fingers down my face, I paced in a small circle until my eyes fell back on him. How could I say anything now? Just seeing him laying in that bed, his body half the mass of a child, it just didn't feel right.

  “I've had years to think about what I wanted to say to you, or what I should have said that day, but it doesn't matter anymore, none of it matters. It's in the past.”

  “It's not in the past if you're still feeling it. We can't leave it in the past if we never gave it life to begin with. I made you angry, you're still angry, and that's okay. I want you to say what you need to, don't worry about me or my feelings. This is what you wanted, now you have it. My mind is fine, Son, it's just my body that's dying around me. So, say what's in your heart.”

  Hanging my head, the only thing that came into my mind was Blue and how I felt about her. “All I really need you to know is that I love your daughter, I've always loved your daughter.”

  Giving me an understanding nod, he said, “I love her too, which is why I did what I did.” Tapping the arm of the wheelchair, he guided me to sit next to him. Taking the seat, my eyes fell on his as he spoke. “You were both children, Jay, but Betty is my daughter—my only child. Love at that age is a crazy crazy thing, it's so strong, but that doesn't mean it's right.”

  But that wasn't your choice to make for us.

  None of it was yours to decide.

  Greg's brows knitted as his eyes traced a path around my face. “I know what you're thinking, and you're right. It wasn't for me to decide.”

  How did he know what I was thinking?

  “Now say it out loud, be angry, be upset, tell me what you really feel.” His eyes were sharp and piercing, focusing hard on my face.

  I felt compelled to speak up, to expel this anger that had spread over my body like the plague. He was giving me a voice, and I needed to use it.

  Veering my stare, thick lines creased my forehead as the words finally found their way to my lips. “You took my daughter from me, you stole ten years of our life together. I missed everything; her first word, her first steps, her first day of school, the first time she fell and cried and needed to be comforted. I missed out on all of that.”


  “I know, and I'm sorry for that. I was wrong for keeping you two apart. I was wrong for not giving you a chance to be a man, and take care of your responsibilities. I did what I thought was right for my daughter, and I'm sorry I took the chance away from you to do what was right for yours. You love Blue, and so do I, that love might be different, but we both want what's best for her.”

  Clearing his throat, he attempted to reach the handle above his bed, but he missed. “Can you—” Nodding his head at the bar, he lifted his hand back up.

  Standing up, I grabbed the bar and held it still for him to get a good grip. Greg wrapped his hand around it, trying to pull himself higher. Struggling, he couldn't move any further.

  “Here, let me help,” I said, curling my hands under his armpits, and lifting him gently against his pillows. “Better?”

  “Yes, thank you.” Fixing his blanket, he flattened the creases as he spoke. “Do me a favor, don't tell my wife you just did that. I've been trying not to let her see how much worse this has gotten. She worries enough about me.”

  Braiding my fingers together, I dropped my chin into my chest. “You know I came here thinking this was going to be a lot of yelling, a lot of cussing and fighting between us. I didn't expect an apology.”

  “Well, I only have so much time to apologize, ALS won't wait for me to fix the stuff I did wrong. And I did wrong by you and my daughter—and my granddaughter. You guys deserve the chance to be a family.”

  “I want to be a family, I'd love the chance to give Bliss something neither of us have ever really had; a father to be proud of, one that actually wants to be there.”

  “Jayden, I knew your father, I knew the man he was. You're nothing like him, I can see that now. Back then, it was hard to see anything when it came to my daughter. It's not something I can explain, and it's not your fault. I was wrong see you as your father, to let who he was cloud my decision on who you were. I'm truly sorry for that. But I can tell you that you'll do anything to keep your child safe, even if that means forcing out a boy she says she loves.”

  “I just don't understand why it took this long for me to find out?”

  “I told her when she was an adult, she could do what she wanted to. She swore you'd come back for her when she was eighteen. I watched my daughter's heart break in half when you didn't, and I'll be honest with you, a piece of me was hoping you would you show up. I thought it would prove something to me about your character.”

  “My character?”

  “Like I said, I knew your father.” His eyes opened wider as he looked like he felt even more sorry for comparing me to the man I never wanted to be like. “You not showing up made it easy for me to convince her that you didn't care enough about her.”

  “But I did care, I cared so much I stayed away from her because I knew I had nothing to offer her.”

  “Jayden, we all have something to offer those we love, even if we can't see it.”

  Dropping my head into my hands, I squeezed my temples. “This is scaring the shit out of me, I have a daughter.” Snapping my eyes back to his, my pupils flashed with fear.

  Fear of being a dad.

  Fear of her not liking me.

  Fear of not being the father she expected.

  Fear of not being good enough.

  “Does Bliss know yet?” he asked, his mouth folding into a grimace as he tried to move again.

  “Need me—”

  “No, thank you though.” Relaxing his body, he gave me a half smile.

  Shaking my head, I frowned. “Not yet.”

  “But she met you.”

  “Yeah, I met her twice. She's a great kid, I could see that.”

  “Betty-Sue has always done right by her little girl, I know you'll do the same.” Coughing hard and forcefully, he dug around his side and pulled out a cloth to cover his mouth. “I need you to do me a favor, Jayden.” Holding out his hand, he closed his eyes briefly. “I know how we ended things before, but this is important.”

  “What is it?”

  “Take care of my girls for me when I'm gone—all of them.” His cough deepened, and he seemed to labor for a breath. “I need to know they'll be alright.”

  “Of course, I'll do anything for them.”

  “Thank you, Jayden.” Nodding, he laid his arm over his chest, his lids getting heavy.

  This man wasn't the monster I had seen him as. He was just a man who wanted the best for his daughter. How could I fault him for that?

  I couldn't say I wouldn't do the same if I was in his shoes. But now I had a daughter of my own, and that love for her already started to flow through my veins the second I knew she was a piece of me.

  Watching Greg as he dosed in and out of sleep, I realized just how quickly life could change. It felt like just yesterday this man was ready to tear my head off, now he was ill, asking me to care for his family.

  All the hate I had, all the anger and rage I felt for what he did to us, it all melted away. Holding onto it did no good for me or anyone else. Greg was just a dad doing what dads are expected to do, protect their children.

  I have a daughter to protect now.

  The thought made my nerves run wild. I had people who would be counting on me to always do the right thing, to protect them, to encourage them, to teach and laugh and guide.

  That was a scary thought, but it was an even scarier reality.

  So I sat with Greg in silence, knowing that once I walked out that door everything would change.

  Change had waited this long, it could wait a few more minutes for me to catch up with it.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Blue

  My eyes were locked on the door as I sat in the recliner in the living room.

  What are they saying?

  What's going on in there?

  The curiosity was killing me. Biting my nail, I chewed the small strip and spit it out onto the rug.

  “Betty-Sue, that's disgusting,” my mother barked as she carried a tray of sandwiches, and set them down on the coffee table. “Bliss!” she yelled towards the open window. “Lunch!”

  “Sorry, I'm just a nervous wreck right now. What are they talking about in there?”

  “It's fine, let them both say what they need to say.” My mother sat down on the couch, crossing her leg. “The question you should be asking yourself is when are you going to tell Bliss?”

  “I don't have a clue.” Hanging my head, I rubbed my temples and groaned. “This sucks.”

  “I'm starving,” Bliss blurted as she ran into the room. Grabbing half of a sandwich, she dropped down into the space beside my mother. “Thanks for lunch, Gram.”

  Smiling, my mother wrapped her arm around Bliss's neck and pulled her in to kiss the top of her head. “You're very welcome.”

  Bliss glanced between us, sensing that something wasn't right. “What's going on?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, trying to keep control and not burst into tears.

  It terrified me not knowing how Bliss would react to finding out Jayden was her father. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and the anxiety of knowing that conversation was coming was just making it worse.

  I knew that this day would come eventually, I knew there would be a time where I would have to tell her his name. But this? I didn't expect this. In my head that day wouldn't be until she asked because she was a curious teenager, or she needed her birth certificate to get her license and she'd see his name.

  It was hard enough that since she was born all I could see was Jayden in her. From her daredevil side, to her quick whip responses and sense of humor, this girl was her father.

  “You're crying, Mom, why are you crying?”

  “What?” Wiping my eyes, I hadn't realized that tears had started to roll down my cheeks as I looked at my daughter. “Oh, it's nothing, I'm fine, Honey.”

  “Is this about Grandpa? Is he getting sicker?”

  “No, it's not about Grandpa.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Glanci
ng at my mother, she gave a reassuring nod, letting me know that now was the time. Her lips thinned into a pleasant smile, her lids lowering as if to say, this is it.

  Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward and reached for her hand. “Bliss, Honey, there's something I need to tell you.”

  Quirking a brow, her eyes danced between us. “Okay, what is it?” Pressing the sandwich to her mouth, she took a small bite.

  She was so innocent, completely unaware of the gravity in the situation. Bliss didn't recognize the nervousness in my voice, or the skittishness in my hands as they twisted around each other.

  Squeezing her hand, I looked at my mother, my eyes begging her for the strength to find the right words to use. “Bliss, I know we haven't talked much about—”

  Jayden came around the corner, forcing me to stop talking. His expression was softer, more timid and composed than when he first arrived. His eyes moved around the room, taking note of each of us.

  “Hello,” she said, taking another bite of her sandwich and giving him a little wave. Turning her attention back on me, she asked, “So, what were you going to tell me?”

  “Bliss—” I started to say, until Jayden held up his hand and stopped me.

  Oh thank you. Relief washed over me, willingly letting him take over.

  Dropping to his haunches next to her, he took a moment to just look at her. It was as if his eyes were etching every inch of her face into his brain. Sighing, Jayden rested his hand on the arm of the couch as he said, “Bliss, there's no easy way to say this. . .” Pausing, he looked like the words were escaping him.

  “Say what?” she asked, popping the last bite of food into her mouth. “That you're my dad?”

  All three of us inhaled an audible gasp as she looked around the room.

  “What? He is right? He's my real dad?”

  The tears came rushing down my cheeks harder and faster as I shook my head to let her know she was right. Bliss leaned forward and took another half sandwich, relaxing back like the conversation was no big deal.