Jayson (Fallen Brook High School YA series)

by J. L. Wyer

  “What the heck, man.” Jayson.

  Elijah throws his hands up and takes a step back. Jayson pulls me tighter against him.

  Without taking his angry gaze off Elijah, Jayson drops his head, pressing his mouth close to my ear. “You good?”

  I’m going to die. Just drop dead right here where I stand and die. Jayson’s breath next to my ear is sending me into spontaneous combustion. Get a grip Elizabeth!

  “I stepped in something and lost my balance. Elijah caught me before I could really embarrass myself.”

  Elijah mouths “thank you” knowing I just saved him from a very awkward confrontation, especially since Julien and Ryder have both joined me and Jayson. Thankfully, Julien helps calm what has now turned into an abrupt and tense standoff between Jayson and Elijah. Julien breaks from our group to go to Elijah, offering a fist bump in greeting and asks him about his summer. Jayson remains holding me against him, and sometime in the last thirty seconds without me noticing, has splayed his hand across my stomach, rubbing small circles with his thumb. My stomach muscles clench at the sensation.

  “Jayson,” I turn my head slightly which brings our mouths scant inches apart.

  The electricity that sparks between us snaps Jayson out of his stony stare with Elijah because his hand jerks away from my stomach as if it’s been electrocuted.

  Ryder puts a hand on Jayson’s shoulder and squeezes. “Come on. Help me get the bike down.”

  Jayson slowly releases his hold on me and steps away. I’m left alone standing there like a deer in headlights, rapid, shallow breaths, in and out, in and out. My skin tingles on all the places Jayson touched me. Thank God for Maria.

  “Yo, chica! Your girl squeeze has arrived!”

  I rub my foot across the grass hoping this will get whatever I stepped in off the bottom of my shoe. Maria reaches me and puts her arm through mine as we walk to the side of the track to watch Ryder race.

  “Holy male meat sticks, girl! There are so many cute guys here tonight. No wonder you like to come out here so often.” Her eyes bug out as she realizes her double entendre and starts to snicker.

  “You’re so juvenile, Mar.”

  This girl is a jumble of crazy. The good kind. The kind you want in a best friend.

  Julien and Jayson eventually find us. It doesn't escape my notice that Jayson stands several feet away from me. Randy hands Ryder his racing helmet and murmurs low to him, more than likely giving him pointers on how to handle the track tonight. We watch as Ryder, Elijah, and several others line their bikes up at the start line.

  The summer thunderstorms earlier this week left the track a bit muddy and slippery. Randy and Mitch make their way over to our group. Fallon, a guy from Highland High who is a year older and in eleventh grade, is the announcer for tonight. One of the deputies has given him a police megaphone to use. Fallon Montgomery is one of those guys that everyone in a five-county radius has heard of. His family is loaded. Montgomery Pharma is one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the nation and their headquarters is located in Research Triangle Park; not to mention, about half our county is employed in one way or another by his family’s company.

  “Good evening everybody!” Fallon yells through the megaphone. “Who’s ready to see some racing tonight?”

  We all yell back at him.

  “I can’t hear you!”

  We all scream louder, whistles raising the noise levels to a crescendo.

  “Okay then! Gentlemen, start your engines.” Fallon gives a signal and the racers mount their bikes, twisting their handlebars and sending engine revs crashing into night. “You guys know the rules. No dirty business. We have two deputies watching tonight who will be more than happy to arrest you.” Fallon stands back to the side to get out of the way of the racers. “On your mark,” he starts.

  I look to Ryder. My palms begin to sweat, and I grab on tighter to Maria’s arm. I can’t see Ryder’s face because of his helmet, but I know he’s in the zone. You can just tell by the energy emanating off his body, and by the way his body hovers over his bike, one leg outstretched propping it up, his hands gripping the handlebars.

  Fallon shouts out, “Get set.”

  Ryder tenses. I tense. Everything seems to go suddenly silent as my eyes glue on to Ryder’s form.

  “Go!”

  And with that, the bikes scream away from the start line. A loud whoosh of exhaled breath I didn’t know I was holding comes rushing out of my lungs. I hear Ryder’s dad calling out to him, giving encouragement. The chaos on the track is nuts. Two riders slide out on the mud around the first corner. One rider rams into the back of another by accident as his bike hits a rut and his front tire clips the bike next to him. Ryder and Elijah are in the lead. They will race around the dirt track four times.

  By the second lap, the racers seem to have gotten into the groove and used to the conditions on the course. Two laps down, two to go. Maria and I are holding each other’s hands, jumping up and down, cheering Ryder on. On the last lap, Ryder pulls out ahead from the pack. He leans into the last curve, leg stretching out to the ground to help turn the bike as it skids along, and then he’s off again like a bullet. He takes a quick look behind him to see how far away the person in second is, then slows down when he passes by our group. He points his finger in our direction, touches his heart, then to everyone’s astonishment, speeds up to go over the last small bump. He jerks the front of his bike up hard, revs the handlebar, and does a freakin’ backflip before landing his bike on both wheels and crossing the finish line. Elijah follows thirty seconds after in second with the remaining riders close behind.

  Maria is screaming in my ear, “Oh my God! That was epic!”

  Once all the other racers cross the finish, Fallon comes back out with his megaphone, Ryder in tow. He throws Ryder’s arm up in the air in victory.

  “You are a freakin’ rock star!” he shouts to Ryder.

  The other racers, including Elijah, as well as Jayson and Julien, head out onto the track to tackle Ryder in celebration. Me? I am speechless. That boy. That wonderful, crazy boy.

  After things settle down and the track is cleared to be prepared for the next race, the boys help Randy take Ryder’s bike back to the truck to load it up. Ryder, beaming like a fiend, walks off the track and stops in front of me and Maria. His eyes lock on mine. Ryder runs his hand through his dark hair that’s soaked with sweat, grinning a devil’s smile at me. He has never looked more handsome.

  Maria’s eyes ping back and forth between me and Ryder before she clears her throat and says she’s going to find her brother.

  “You are one ballsy guy,” I tell him, shaking my head, a huge smile exploding across my face.

  “So you liked it?”

  “Loved it,” I breathe.

  We hear Randy call out for Ryder. Ryder reaches for my hand and links our pinkies together.

  “Elizabeth.” His tone grows serious. “There’s something I would like to talk to you about tomorrow. Can I come over around one or so?”

  “Oh, is it important? Do you want to talk now or after we get home tonight?”

  He thinks about my question for a minute but his dad’s voice calling for him again breaks his thoughts.

  “Jay, Jules, and I have got something to do tonight. Otherwise I would say yes. Tomorrow at one?” His pinky finger squeezes mine once and then let’s go.

  “Yeah, sure. I’ll be home.”

  He brushes his hand against mine and walks away to join his dad and the boys. Maria, who has been waiting in the shadows watching it all instead of actually finding her brother, comes skipping back over to me.

  “So intense. I think my ovaries exploded watching you two. What was that about?”

  Between Elijah pulling me against him, Jayson with his intimate hold on me, and now Ryder, I have no clue what any of this is about. I sense something is changing and I don't know if I'm prepared for it or not. I should talk to Hailey about it later. She’ll help me figure things out.<
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  I lay my head on Maria’s shoulder and close my eyes. “I don’t know, Mar. I just don’t know.”

  Chapter 5

  Ryder

  We got home from the Fields an hour ago and I decided to have Jay and Julien come over to my place so we could talk in the backyard and have some privacy from my sisters and parents. Jules texted and said they would be here soon. Taking one last look at the group photo of the four of us, I shut my phone off and wait. I'm nervous as hell and keep second guessing whether me laying out my feelings to the both of them regarding Elizabeth is a good idea. The conversation I’m about to have could go either one of two ways. They give me their blessing and all is right with the world, or I lose my two best friends.

  When I saw Elijah grab Elizabeth earlier this evening, and then saw Jayson storm over to snatch her away, my jealousy almost got the better of me. The caveman feelings that rumbled up inside of me screamed Elizabeth is mine, get your hands off her, and had me rushing over wanting to seize her away from both of them, throw her over my shoulder, and run off. Luckily, Julien arrived and his presence next to me kept me from acting out my asinine impulse. Well, maybe that one asinine impulse. It didn’t stop me from showing off to Elizabeth by doing the backflip stunt at the end of the race. I love having her attention and her eyes on me. I love it when she cheers me on. And the smile she graced me with at the end when I walked over to her... I thought my heart was going to pump out of my chest.

  “Ry!”

  I hear Julien call as he and Jayson come through the back patio door. I’m sitting in one of the chairs that surround the firepit and they join me. I wipe suddenly damp palms on the front of my shorts and stand up to clasp hands, pulling them each in for a shoulder bump. Julien leans against the stone side of the firepit while Jayson plops down next to me, legs outstretched, arms crossed over his chest.

  “That was so awesome tonight. Several people already posted videos of the race and it’s gotten over five hundred views,” Julien announces.

  Jayson has a different opinion. “I thought you were a total douchebag for doing something that dangerous. What got into you?” Sitting forward, he laces his hands together, resting his arms atop his bent knees, his disapproving eyes landing on me.

  “You’re kidding, right?” Julien kicks his brother’s shoe. “That was totally legit and something you would so do if it was you out there.”

  “Okay, yeah, it was freakin' monumental, but what if you got hurt?” Jayson hesitates a second. “Do you have any idea what that would have done to Liz if she were up close and personal to see you breaking your neck for a stunt? Getting yourself hurt just to show off?”

  “Yeah, but he didn’t Jay. You’ve seen him ride and practice this stuff for years. You know how good he is. Stop being a dick." I appreciate that Julien has my back.

  Jayson grunts.

  “Speaking of Elizabeth,” I say, and that gets Jayson’s attention fast as his head snaps back to me.

  I silently give myself a pep talk, a reminder to once again man up and get the words out. I don’t think I've ever been as apprehensive about anything as I am right now, about to spill my inner guts to Jayson and Julien. Taking a deep breath, I decide it’s now or never.

  “Uh, that’s why I wanted to talk to you guys tonight.” My skin starts to itch but I plow ahead. I stand up to pace between them. “Okay. Look.” God, this is hard. “Okay.”

  “Will you just say whatever it is you want to say to us?” Jayson hurls at me.

  From the look he’s giving me, the firm set to his mouth, the clench of his jaw, I have a feeling he knows what I’m about to say. Time to rip the band aid off, and it all comes out as a complete tumble of word vomit.

  “We’ve been friends for a long time. A very long time. It’s always been us and Elizabeth. You all are my family. I consider you both my brothers. I would never, not ever, betray you or do anything that would hurt either of you.”

  I stop and look at both of them to make my point, show them I am serious about what I just said.

  “This is difficult. Has been difficult for a while. Elizabeth is special. We all know that. She is like the sun in our universe and we all orbit her goodness and light because we have no choice. I have no choice.”

  I stand in front of Jayson now, but his head is hanging down between his shoulders, hands gripping tightly so his knuckles are white. He won’t look up at me so I ramble on, needing to get it out.

  “I want to ask her out. I want to ask her to be mine. To be my girlfriend. I’ve kept my feelings to myself for so long. Locked them up tight. Because of you. Because of Julien. I know you guys like her too. But I’m tired of fighting my feelings. I’m tired of feeling guilty about wanting to ask her out. So here I am, laying it all out, hoping that you both will forgive me. Hoping that everything will be okay between us and I have your blessing. Hoping that I don’t lose my two best friends.”

  My throat chokes up. Jayson’s head is still bowed, his chest moving in and out like he ran a marathon. Julien is the first to break the silence.

  “I think it's safe to say we are all in love with her in one way or another. Liz is what binds our unit together. Our princess who rules our kingdom. I have no problem with you wanting to date her. I will have a problem if you hurt her or break her heart though.”

  Relief floods me.

  “I promise. I won’t. I swear. I told Elizabeth that I wanted to talk to her about something important tomorrow, but I had to talk to you guys tonight. I need to make sure we’re all good first.”

  I stand in front of Jayson, silently begging him to look up at me.

  “Jay? Are we good?”

  Jayson remains quiet, his body rigid, angry.

  Julien comes over next to me, bumping my shoulder to let me know he’s got my back. He will support me.

  “Jay. You’re being uncharacteristically quiet.”

  One minute goes by. Two. Suddenly, Jayson springs out of his seat like he’s on fire and bolts. He sprints out of the backyard leaving me and Julien standing alone in the darkness wondering what the heck just happened.

  Jayson

  My mind has gone blank. Anger grips me and I can’t breathe. I don’t remember anything after leaving Ryder’s backyard. I don’t remember how I got here. I sat and listened to him pour his heart out to me. Every word he spoke etched in my being because my heart was saying the same thing. His words were my words too. But knowing those words were coming from his mouth, his heart — I couldn’t sit there any longer. I knew it was coming. I knew it the moment Ryder told me he wanted to talk to me and Julien about something important. But when he finished talking, when my twin brother gave him his blessing, I just ran. Jumped out of my seat and ran. I had to get out of there. Had to escape before my world fractured apart around my feet into a thousand pieces.

  My hands grab hold to the sides of my head gripping tight as my mind races. I’m in agony. All I can think about is I’m about to lose her. I’m about to lose my reason for getting up in the morning. Without Liz, I don’t know who I am. Ryder’s going to take her away from me. He’ll be the one she kisses, the one she gives her heart to, her love to. The thoughts of her being with someone else — no, not just someone else. Him. My best friend. I should be happy. I should have patted him on the back and stepped aside. Be the bigger person. Allow Liz to choose for herself. I have no rights to her. She doesn’t officially belong to me. I have no say in what she does or who she dates. But inside my heart is screaming that she’s mine.

  I have loved that girl for half my life. And I'm selfish. I can’t let her go, not even to be with my best friend. A guy who is like my brother, a part of my family. Ryder had the courage to step up and confront me and Julien about how he felt. I wish I could be that considerate. I wish I could be the better person, but I’m not. I’m just a scared boy who at the age of six found his soulmate. His princess. And I can’t step aside.

  Looking up at the old oak tree that stands between our houses, I stare a
t Liz’s window. It’s open like usual, and I can hear her voice floating down to me like a song whispering through the leaves of the tree as it glides upon the night’s breeze. She’s talking to Hailey. I just stand there at the foot of the tree and listen, hoping her melodious voice is able to calm me.

  I don’t know how long I’m there lost in my world of misery and questions. I hear a click and then her bedroom goes dark. I watch as Liz appears in the frame of her window, long pale hair loose around her shoulders, looking like a Roman goddess come to life.

  While my mind is still running on a loop, my body takes over and decides to move on its own. Without thinking, I leap up and grab hold of the bottom branch of the oak and start to climb. Liz notices the tree shake and shudder from my efforts, her face full of confusion as to what is climbing the tree in the middle of the night.

  She leans her head out trying to get a better view, then startles backward as I reach the branch next to her window. I swing myself into her bedroom.

  “Jayson?”

  Elizabeth

  When I got home tonight full of confusion and doubts, Hailey was waiting for me in my bedroom. I had texted her on the way home asking if we could talk. She has a way of making me feel better about things that bother me. As we sit on my bed, my bedroom window open to allow the fragrant summer air filled with the scent of honeysuckle vines to waft in, I tell her about everything that happened at the Fields.

  “What do I do, Hales? I’m so confused. Things seem to be changing between me, Jayson, and Ryder. I don’t know if it’s a good change or not. You know I have always had feelings for the three of them, but those feelings are becoming very complicated especially with Jayson and Ryder.”

  Hailey takes a brush from my bedside table and starts to comb it through my hair. The feel of the soft bristles sliding down my long lengths soothe and relax me, like she knew it would. She opens her mouth to say something but closes it before opening it again. I know she is trying to find the right words to express what she wants to say, like she does when writing her poems. She wants every word to be just right.