Jayson (Fallen Brook High School YA series)

by J. L. Wyer

  Chapter 9

  Julien

  I was worried about the beach trip our families were taking together. Things have been tense between Jay and Ry, which is to be expected. I’m proud of my brother for stepping up and going to Ryder to apologize. I still don’t agree with what he did regarding Liz, but I’m glad they are putting their personal issues aside to be there for her. I see how hard it is for Ryder to watch Liz and Jay together, see them kissing or touching. They both have been working hard to be respectful around him and keep the PDA to a bare minimum when he’s around. Sometimes, it’s hard to do; for instance, times like this.

  We’ve been out on the beach all day, boogie boarding, swimming, playing volleyball. Heck, we even made a kick-butt sandcastle. It’s midafternoon and we have two days left before we head back home. We’re staying to watch the big fireworks extravaganza tomorrow night and then plan to leave the beach house the following morning. I join our parents under the shade canopy to grab a bite to eat. Ry takes a bag of chips out of one of the coolers and joins me.

  Jay and Liz have broken off from our group and are leisurely walking hand in hand down the beach toward the end of the barrier island where the sound meets the sea. I can hear Liz’s tinkling laughter as Jay picks her up and throws her over his shoulder racing into the waves. She screams, “Jayson Patrick Jameson!” before he launches them both under the water. Without looking over, I know Ry’s watching them and I feel for him. Unrequited love and heartbreak are two emotions I’m becoming very familiar with.

  “Want to toss the football?” I ask him. I try to distract him as often as I can hoping it helps take his mind off my brother and Liz.

  “Nah, man. I’m good. I think I’m going to head on in and take a shower.”

  “Want some company?” He punches my arm. “Not like that,” I clarify, and he barks out a laugh.

  “I know what you mean. Still funny though.” He pops a chip into his mouth, looks over to where Jay and Liz are in the distance. They are wrapped around each other bobbing up and down in the water, her arms circling his neck.

  He sighs. “I need a break. I’ll probably walk over to the arcade in a little bit. Want to join me there later?”

  “Count me in.” We fist bump.

  “Catch ya later then,” he calls out and walks back toward the beach access that leads to the house.

  It’s dark on the beach as I sit looking out over the water, a cool land breeze blowing from behind, when I hear footsteps in the sand approaching me.

  “Hey you,” Liz says and sits down beside me, tilting her head to lean against my shoulder, her presence exactly what I need right now.

  “Where’s our boy?” I ask.

  “Believe it or not, he and Ryder are playing video games together. It’s the first time they’ve stayed in the same room other than when we eat, so I tiptoed out of there like a silent ninja,” she replies, grinning.

  “I’m happy to hear that.”

  “Yeah, me too. I know everything is so weird between all of us now. Seeing them together like old times gives me hope.”

  “They both love you and want you to be happy.”

  “I love them, too.”

  “They know. And I’m here for you, too. And for them.”

  “You’ve been really great with all of it. Thanks for being there for both of them.”

  We sit in silence, watching the night sky and listening to the rhythmic pounding of the waves against the shore.

  Elizabeth’s head lifts from my shoulder. “Julien? What’s going on with you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just like I know those two boys inside, I also know you. You’ve been quiet this entire week. Want to talk about it?”

  This girl has been my heart since the day I met her. Like my brother and Ryder, I love her. It’s a profound type of love. One of deep friendship, of trusting that the other person holding your heart does so with care, that they will protect and cherish it. The type of love that you trust your darkest secrets to. Everyone thinks because Jay and I are twins, we have this unbreakable bond. We do. My brother is everything to me. But there are some secrets rooted within my soul that I can’t tell him. Secrets that scare me. I take Liz’s hand and link our fingers together.

  “It’s complicated.”

  She chuckles. “Um, have you seen my life recently?”

  I release a dejected laugh. She’s right, this past week has been totally messed up. Five minutes go by as our gazes remain locked on the dark horizon illuminated by a half moon.

  “I like Elijah,” I say out of nowhere.

  “I heard you two have been hanging out with each other a lot lately. He’s a good guy.”

  “No, Elizabeth. I like Elijah.”

  Her head whips around. I wait. I can see every emotion flashing across her expressive face. I can also see when understanding hits her.

  “Oh. Oh!”

  I pick up some sand with my left hand and let it drift through my fingers, counting how long it takes for all the grains to fall, like an hourglass counting down time.

  “Are you...does he...does he like you back?” she finally gets out. I shake my head no.

  “He doesn’t know how I feel. It’s so stupid. I know he would never like me like that. It’s stupid. I’m stupid,” I groan.

  “Julien, you are not stupid.”

  “I am. Can I tell you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “I first realized I was, well, the way that I am, that day at Jay’s swim meet. Remember that day when he went up against Elijah and then we all met Elijah afterward when he came over to congratulate Jay?”

  “Do you mean that time he asked for my number but the three of you knuckleheads scared him away? Or later, when you all lectured me on why I wasn’t allowed to date anyone and treated me like I was a baby?” she accuses, kicking sand at my feet. “Oh, yeah, I remember that day.”

  I wince. “Sorry, not our finest moment. I thought I’d bust a nut when Ry said you were too young. That was funny as hell.”

  “Let’s agree to disagree.”

  “I was actually jealous of you,” I tell her, feeling shame at having such a petty feeling.

  “Jealous? Of me?” she asks, surprised. “Why?”

  “I thought Elijah was the most handsome boy I had ever seen. But then he started talking to you, not me. It scared me a lot. How could I want you and him at the same time?”

  Liz looks a little unsure on what to say. It takes her a minute before she continues.

  “You wanted me?”

  “You know I’ve always liked you, Liz, in more than a friendly way.”

  She starts to wiggle her toes, digging them into the cool sand. “You’re right. This is very confusing. I’m with Jayson now and you like Elijah. So, um, are you saying that you’re bi?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. I guess it would make sense. I mean, you’re the only girl I’ve ever been truly interested in in that way. And, yeah, I like Elijah, too,” I admit as I create a picture in the sand with broken pieces of seashells.

  “You know it’s okay to be confused and it’s okay to have questions. Have you talked to Jayson about things?”

  I shake my head. “No. No one knows. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

  She’s shocked. I don’t think I’ve seen the type of shocked expression on Liz’s face before.

  “I’m very honored then. Thank you, Julien.”

  My breath releases in a torrent.

  “Do you plan to tell Jayson? Your parents? I’ll be there with you, be there for you, no matter when or where or how. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. Just say the word.”

  This girl is so special. She would walk through fire for me. I’m grateful to have her in my life. I’m grateful that she loves my brother, that she loves me and Ryder, too. Her capacity for love is overwhelming.

  “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. It’s been hard enough trying to figure out what’s in my head. I’ve always
felt different in some way.”

  “You’re not different, Julien. Don’t ever think that. You’re strong and kind and honest. You put others before yourself. You are one the most wonderful people I know, and I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t in my life. Your parents, Jayson, even Ryder, will support you no matter what. They won’t abandon you. Being gay or bi doesn’t change who you are. You must know that, right?”

  “I know things are better today than they used to be, Liz. But there’s still a lot of hate and prejudice that exists. I don’t know if I’m ready to face all of that. Especially when we go back to school.”

  “Those small-minded people can go "eff" themselves then,” she says vehemently.

  I’m not used to hearing the f-word come out of Liz’s mouth. “Whoa, mamma tigress. You can sheathe those claws now.”

  “Not on your life. Anyone wants to mess with you, they will have to get through me first, claws and all.” Turning somber again, “I mean it Julien. No matter what, you need me and I’m there.”

  “I love you, Liz.”

  “And I love you, too.” The hug she gives me is warm and welcoming.

  I gradually get up from where we sit, wiping sand off the backs of my legs. “Let’s head on in and make sure Jay and Ry haven’t killed each other yet.”

  Chapter 10

  Jayson

  I glance over at Ryder. I understood Liz’s intentions last night when she silently slipped out of the room leaving me and him alone for the first time since our fight. But I also understand that the rift between us will take a lot of long, hard work on my part before it mends. I’m up for the challenge. I’d do anything for my girl. I get it, too. I get Ryder’s anger at me. I’ve asked myself, would I have done anything differently if given the chance. Yes and no. Having Liz as mine? The answer to my question is a big, fat no; not if doing things differently meant that she wouldn't be my girlfriend now.

  Bright flashes of red, gold, green, and blue explode across the evening sky. We're sitting on the beach watching the barrage of fireworks put on a dazzling show, enjoying the last night of our stay before we head back home tomorrow. Liz is leaning back against me and I squeeze her tighter, resting my chin on top of her head. From our spot on the southern end of Topsail Island, we can also see fireworks going off in Wilmington and Wrightsville located miles away. The boom and thunder of each explosion reverberate like a heavy drumbeat. Liz is seated between my outstretched legs, her arms grasping mine which are wrapped around her middle. She gasps each time a firework detonates.

  “Oh, I love that one,” she voices in wonder and points to the cascade of golden sparkles showering down like a waterfall.

  We have probably another twenty minutes before the big finale when an idea forms. Between the morning parade, the cookout, and now fireworks, I haven’t had one minute of alone time with Liz all day. Not to mention she’s currently wearing one of the bikini tops she bought for the trip, and I’m at the point where I will lose my ever-loving mind if I don't get my hands on her soon.

  I lean down to her ear. “Come with me.” She tips her head back and cocks an eyebrow at me.

  “Come on, princess,” I speak in a hushed voice, tugging her up. We look around to make sure no one’s paying any attention to our sudden departure, and lucky for us, all attention is still on the fireworks. Holding hands, we crouch down and race behind the dunes until the coast is clear.

  “What are you up to Jayson Jameson?” she asks, clearly suspicious, as I pull her in a fast walk farther along the dunes to a secluded spot I found earlier this week when Julien and I were out exploring. I find the exact spot I’m looking for and spread a towel out on the sand, thankful that I had the presence of mind to grab it as we made our hasty dash to hide behind the sand dunes.

  “I figured we could make our own fireworks,” I say with a cheeky grin.

  Liz makes an indelicate snort and says, “I think that’s probably the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “You ain’t seen nothing yet, baby.”

  I can tell she’s trying to come up with some clever words to sass me back with, but I don’t give her the chance because my mouth crashes down on hers. I couldn’t wait another second.

  Liz’s response is immediate, and she kisses me back. We’ve been learning and exploring each other's lips over the past two weeks since our first kiss. Things between us have heated up, but we haven’t taken anything too far, yet. I know it’s merely a matter of time before we’ll need to talk and decide how far and how fast we want to take things. But not tonight.

  A loud bang of a nearby firework goes off but we don’t notice, our focus on each other so intense it blots out the rest of the world.

  We're facing one another, both of us leaning in to pepper kisses across each other's lips. Liz speaks against my mouth. “Jayson, what if someone sees?”

  I raise my head to look around. Another firework explodes. We’re surrounded on all sides by tall dunes, and far enough from the houses and road that no one will be able to see us unless they walk right on top of us.

  “We’re good. No one can see.”

  “Are you sure?” She looks doubtful.

  I bend my head back down and kiss her shoulder. "I'm sure," I reply before pulling her closer, our lips parting in an open-mouthed kiss. Liz's eyes flutter closed.

  “I love you, Liz.”

  I kiss her slowly as my hand slides up to cup her face then wraps around the base of her neck.

  A round of fireworks go off in the distance, casting a rainbow of colors over her face. Liz‘s eyes pop open, an endless sea of green, and we look up just as the finale of the fireworks begins in a cacophony of detonations above us.

  “Wow,” she she says looking at me. I don't know whether she is saying that about the fireworks or about our kiss.

  We fall back on the towel, eyes watching the smoke left over from the firework explosions drifting across the night sky. I pull her to my side and she snuggles in.

  "You were right."

  I turn my head to look at her. “Right about what, baby?”

  “We did make our own fireworks.”

  I chuckle and kiss the tip of her nose. By now, everyone must be wondering where we got off to. Our phones have already started pinging nonstop with text messages.

  "Come on," I reluctantly say, standing up from the towel and helping Liz up.

  "This week has been wonderful, Jayson. Thank you for making it so special."

  "Just you wait," I tell her. "We have so many more next times to look forward to."

  Chapter 11

  Elizabeth

  I hate how fast the summer flew by, but I did get to experience my very own summer romance, thanks to Jayson. He took me on picnics, to see a production of Shakespeare in the Park, and gave me many more secret midnight dates in our tree. He would leave me small presents on my windowsill to find when I woke in the morning. Little trinkets like polished pebbles from the creek, wildflowers from his mom’s garden, paper butterflies, and stars with little love notes written in them. If I wasn’t already desperately in love with him, I would be after all the attention he has showered on me the past month.

  And like he promised, we’ve had many more next times. I blush as memories of this summer play in a loop. We’ve experimented and fooled around — a lot — without going all the way. We decided we wanted to take it slow, not rush into sex and let things work themselves out organically. Exist in the moment. It makes each time we touch, every kiss, every spoken word of love, that much more special.

  Since we returned from our beach trip, Jayson has been working hard to rebuild his relationship with Ryder. Every day, he goes to Randy’s garage to help Ryder work on his new car. Jayson says that they don’t talk much, just wordlessly work side by side. Ryder has also been coming around more often, mostly to hang with Julien, but he no longer leaves the room when Jayson walks in. Things are still a bit tense, but I feel they’re at least going in the right direction.


  Tonight’s our last weekend of freedom before we start eleventh grade on Monday, so the parents agreed we could have a backyard campout. It’s going to be Hailey, Brea, Jamie, Elijah, me, Jayson, Julien, and Ryder. We just got back from eating dinner together at Ruby’s Diner in town. It’s one of my favorite places because everything’s decorated like it’s from the 1950’s and the waitresses wear poodle skirts. They also have the best pot roast and fried okra. We’re currently trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to pitch our tents for tonight’s campout. How can something made of poles and fabric be so flippin’ complicated?

  “Ow!” Hailey yelps, sucking her thumb in her mouth. “I hate camping! Stupid tent!” A few snickers follow.

  “Hales, cut it out before you break all the poles in half,” I call to her. “It’s not like it’s rocket science,” I reply trying to fit a bendy pole into a fabric loop. Actually, I think it really is like rocket science, or at least you need a degree in astrophysics to figure out how the heck to put this thing together. Oh my gosh, this is hard!

  Jayson comes up behind me and places a kiss on my shoulder. “Oh, poor baby. Need a man’s hands to help you out?” he murmurs suggestively while squeezing my hips. Stepping aside, I tell him, “Be my guest.”

  After ten minutes of enjoying watching him struggle to put my tent up and failing, I smirk at him. “Oh, poor baby,” I mock. “Need a woman to finish the job?”

  Jayson lunges for me and tickles my ribs. “I always finish the job.”

  “I wouldn’t know, would I?” I playfully sass back trying to wriggle away from him.

  “Oh, now you’re really going to get it,” he declares, and I run for my life, giggling like a schoolgirl.

  “Julien, save me from your brother!” I shout and run over to him, throwing myself on his back for protection.