Boarded by Love

by Toni Aleo

  I’m reapplying my lipstick when I hear, “You’re gorgeous.”

  I pause mid-swipe and look over to find my boyfriend watching me. He looks delectable in a pair of fading blue jeans and a gray shirt that reads “We are all freaks.” On his head is a black beanie, and while I’m starting to develop an unhealthy obsession with beanies, I can’t help but be completely turned on by the scruff on his face. My man grows the best beard.

  Smiling, my shoulders fall and I say, “I’m a mess, I’m late, and I’m so embarrassed.”

  “Don’t be. My mom likes you a lot and understands. Come on, let’s not keep her waiting,” he says and opens my car door. I look in the mirror, finishing another swipe before tucking the lipstick in my purse and taking his hand to get out. Pulling me to his chest, he presses his lips to mine, and I smile against his lips as we kiss. I’ve missed him. I didn’t even get to see him yesterday; he had practice twice and I had work, dance team, and then the club at night. We’re both so busy, but being pressed against his body like this, his lips on mine, makes the time apart bearable.

  Lacing his fingers with mine, he pulls away and kisses my nose. “Come on.”

  I agree and we head inside as he wipes his mouth free of my lipstick. I see Mrs. Sinclair sitting in a booth, and a grin spreads across my face as she stands to hug me tightly. I don’t know what it is about this woman, but I’ve liked her from the moment I met her. It’s probably because Jude is so much like her.

  Pulling back, she smiles at me and says, “I have to admit, I didn’t expect to ever see you again.”

  I laugh as I nod. “Yeah, apparently no one did! Jayden bet Jude that he wouldn’t last two weeks with me.”

  She tsks as she sets Jude with a look. He shrugs his shoulders. “It was an easy hundred bucks, Mom. I knew she was a keeper,” he says, hugging me tightly before kissing my temple.

  I smile, warmth spreading throughout me and then sit down, scooting over so he has room too. Sitting down beside me, he takes my hand in his and rests them against his thigh. I love how he has to touch me when he’s near me. I know that his need for me is just as strong as my need is for him. It’s very reassuring, not that I need reassurance. I know he loves me. More than he loves himself and that makes me giddy with happiness. Especially since I love him just as much, maybe even more.

  “Sorry I’m late,” I start, but she holds up her hand.

  “Jude told me you had a wedding rehearsal. It’s completely fine.”

  I let out a breath, my cheeks warming. “Yeah, tomorrow is my uncle and aunt’s wedding. We’re pretty excited, but it’s a circus since Reese thinks she can do it all and be in the wedding. I think my uncle is going to hire a girl for tomorrow ’cause today was hell.”

  She laughs and Jude chuckles beside me. “So you’ll be busy for the next couple days?” she asks and I nod.

  “Yeah, I plan on sleeping all day Sunday.”

  “Sounds like a good idea to me,” Jude says and we share a grin. I hope he knows that I very much want him to nap with me, and by the look in his eyes, I think he does.

  “Jude, are you going with her tomorrow?”

  Jude’s eyes leave mine to meet his mom’s. “Yeah. I’m her date.”

  “That’s nice. Are they coming to the game tonight? To watch you dance?”

  “Yup, and to watch Jude play,” I say with a grin.

  “Well, hopefully I’ll run into them. I’d love to meet them.”

  “I’ll try to make that happen. My uncle is being a jerk right now,” I say, but as soon as the words leave my mouth, I wonder if it was a good idea to mention that.

  “Why?” she asks like I knew she would.

  I glance at Jude for help, but he’s just grinning. Looking back at Mrs. Sinclair, I say, “He’s crazy overprotective of me.”

  “And doesn’t like me,” Jude adds. “But that will change.”

  “Sure, it will,” she says with a grin. “That’s the thing with parents. In our eyes, no one is good enough for our babies.”

  Her eyes meet mine, and I know that she thinks that about me. That shocks me a bit because I thought she liked me, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was so caught up in my feelings for Jude that I didn’t realize that his mom could see me as some tramp out to steal her son from her. While that hurts my feelings a bit, I know she’s right. I’m nowhere near good enough for Jude, especially with the secret I’m carrying. Looking down, I wring my fingers together and let out a breath.

  “As parents though,” she says, and I look up to meet her gaze, “we have to trust what our children want. When Lucy brought Rick home, I wanted to gag. He was a creep.”

  “Yeah, he was,” Jude agrees.

  “But he was what she wanted, so we all put aside our thoughts and let her be. When it all came crashing down, we were there to catch her. That’s what family does.”

  “I agree, but Phillip doesn’t see it that way. He just hates anyone who wants to date me.”

  She laughs as she shakes her head. “That’s a man for you, but it will get better,” she says, almost like a promise, and it honestly makes me feel better. “You know, I thought I wasn’t going to like you either. I figured the girl who bagged my Jude would be a train wreck. Since I threw every good girl his way and he didn’t want anything to do with them.”

  “Wow, thanks, Mom,” Jude says, and she reaches over to take his free hand, grinning at him.

  “But I was wrong. I knew the moment I met you that you were right for my Jude. It was the way you looked at him. Like he was the flame and you were the moth. It’s a beautiful sight to behold. So obviously, you weren’t looking at her in front of Phillip the way you do when you’re around me,” she says and inside I turn to mush.

  She likes me!

  Jude laughs. “I couldn’t look at her ’cause he scares the crap out of me. But don’t worry, I’ll stare at you all day tomorrow,” he says, looking over at me.

  “Oh, I bet that will go over great,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  We all laugh but then Mrs. Sinclair says, “The main thing is Phillip might be hard to deal with now, but once he sees that you aren’t going anywhere, and that Claire trusts and loves you, then he’ll let up. It’s hard on us, but we have to trust the people we love.” She then looks at me before saying, “Without trust, there is no relationship.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” I say, my heart in my throat as I slowly nod.

  I feel like a complete and utter hypocrite because I’m not being honest at all.

  Lunch was awesome, even though I mostly tore myself apart and went back and forth about telling Jude about Ms. Prissy. I still don’t know what to do and sometimes I get so tired of going around in circles. I wish I could just make a decision. Just tell him or don’t and be done with it, but it isn’t that easy. I wish I didn’t care so much about the money. I wish I could trust that I can make it without it, but something inside me is programmed to make sure I have it. Make sure I’m protected.

  Ugh, it’s so frustrating, and I have no clue what to do, but I do know I love Jude’s mom. She makes me feel like a part of the family, but in a way, I felt like something was wrong throughout the whole lunch. When I wasn’t looking directly at her, I swore I caught her with a sad look, but once I looked up at her, she was grinning. I don’t know what that was about, and I think even Jude caught on to it. I’m not sure when I will be able to ask him about it since, with the game and the wedding, we will both be so busy and then dog-tired afterward, but I know I need to ask. I care about his mom, and I don’t want anything to upset her. If I’m doing something wrong, then I need to know.

  “I rode with my mom. Can you take me back to the house?” Jude asks me once we’re outside.

  “Sure,” I say as I pause in front of Mrs. Sinclair. “Thank you for inviting me to lunch. It was awesome.”

  She smiles as she wraps me up in a hug. “It really is a pleasure being around you, Claire,” she says in almost a whisper. “I am really glad that Jude has f
ound you. You make him a better person.”

  I pull back, meeting her gaze, and I smile. “We’re better together.”

  “I couldn’t say it better myself. He’s lucky to have you,” she says and I want to believe that, but all I see is the back of his head when I tell him about Ms. Prissy’s.

  “I think I’m the lucky one,” I say, reaching out to pull him to me. He smiles as he wraps his arms around my shoulders, holding me close.

  “She is,” he says with a grin, and I laugh as his mom kisses his cheek.

  “You kids be good and I’ll see you two tonight,” she says with a wave as she heads to her car.

  We both say bye then get in my car to head back to campus. With the windows down, the music blaring, and my hand laced with Jude’s, I feel like I’m in heaven, but still the thing with his mom is bugging me.

  Turning the music down, I ask, “Is your mom okay?”

  I feel his gaze on me as he asks, “Yeah, why?”

  “I don’t know, she seemed sad in a way, like she was faking her good mood. Is it me? Does she not like me?”

  He scoffs. “She loves you, babe, but I did notice that too. I don’t know. She told me before lunch that things with my dad are rocky.”

  “Oh, that’s not good at all,” I say, turning onto the road that will lead to campus.

  “Nope, but in a way, I’m relieved. I kinda hope she wants a divorce or something. He doesn’t treat her good.”

  “Yeah,” I agree. “But I don’t want her to be sad.”

  “Me neither, but I hope that once he’s gone, she’ll be happy.”

  “Yeah,” I say as I let out a breath. “She’s such a good person.”

  “The best,” he agrees as I pull up next to his bike.

  I look over at him and ask, “Will your dad be there tonight?”

  He sighs before running his hands through his hair, knocking his beanie off his head. “Apparently, but Mom says he called this morning saying he might be late. He’s coming in from New York. That’s the problem lately; he’s only home like once a week. It’s pissing her off, hell, it’s always pissed me off. Sometimes I think he’s fucking around on her.”

  “No, surely not,” I gasp as I can’t imagine who could cheat on someone as amazing as Mrs. Sinclair.

  “Yeah, I don’t know, but if he is, Claire, I swear I’ll kill him. That’s the worst thing you can do to someone you love – lie and cheat like that. Just be truthful, you know?”

  My heart is pounding against my chest as I slowly nod. “Yeah.”

  “Yeah, so I’m gonna go. I’m going to nap before heading to the rink,” he says, leaning over to kiss my mouth in a lusty but quick way. He reaches for the door handle and is about to step out, and I know I should let him go, but his words play over and over in my head.

  Just be truthful. Just be truthful. Just be truthful.

  “Hey Jude,” I say suddenly. He looks over at me with a grin on his face.

  “Don’t be afraid?” he asks and I smile.

  “Yeah, but I want to tell you something.”

  “What?”

  I take in a deep breath and say, “Have you heard of that burlesque club, Ms. Prissy’s?”

  He nods. “Yeah, I’ve been there a few times with the guys. Not since I started dating you, though!” he adds and I smile.

  “You’re silly,” I say, looking for the courage to say what I need to say. “Anyway, I…I…um… well, you see–”

  “What? Why are you stuttering?”

  I laugh, letting out a long breath, my heart pounding against my chest. “I work for her,” I say and then meet his inquisitive gaze. “I choreograph the dances for the burlesque side and even the pole dancing. I’m doing like six numbers for some investors that are coming, and I’m hoping to land them.”

  “That’s awesome, babe. I told you you’re the best,” he says with a grin. “Is that why you asked if I would support you in any job you chose?”

  I nod. “Yeah, it’s not the best kind of job, you know.”

  “How do you figure? You could choreograph, like, shows and stuff. That’s amazing,” he says, and it’s what I want to hear. I want him to be supportive.

  “Yeah, I could be picked up to run clubs and stuff. It’s a huge opportunity.”

  He smiles. “That’s wonderful, baby. I’m proud of you.”

  “So you’ll support me?”

  He laughs as he reaches for me, pulling me close. “Of course. It isn’t like you’re on the stage taking your clothes off, so no big deal. I’m excited for you. Make sure you let me know how that goes.”

  He kisses me again and then he’s gone as I sit in my seat, completely stunned. The tears threaten to fall, and my heart feels like it’s about to explode. I was truthful, but the only problem is I only told half the truth.

  It isn’t like you’re on the stage taking your clothes off, so no big deal.

  No big deal, but if I was, it would be a huge deal and probably would be the end of my relationship. I need to quit, I need to stop, but can I lose that money? Can I really let go of the opportunity of thousands to secure my future? I know the answer is no, but can I risk losing him?

  No. I can’t.

  So what the fuck do I do?

  There is really only one answer and that’s to work my ass off, get the money, and then quit and never look back. I’m not completely lying to Jude anymore. I told him most of the truth; I just left out the part about me on the stage. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and it’s only for another month and then I’ll be done. That can’t be that bad…right?

  But if so, then why does it feel like it is?

  Standing in the dressing room outside of the rink, I hop on my tippy toes, warming my legs up. Pulling at the bottom of my uniform, I curse the dance gods above for the monstrosity I’m wearing. I mean, I guess it’s sort of cute, but with an ass like mine, it’s falling out the bottom. Even with my tights on, I feel like the bottoms are creeping up my ass, giving me the ultimate wedgie. I don’t know if Rachael ordered me a smaller size – which I wouldn’t put past her – or what, but if it actually fit, it would be cute. It’s a one-piece shorts set that is solid black except for the sheer black lace that goes over a teal blue bra. Crystals stud every inch of it, and on the back are our names in crystals along with Bellevue Bullies.

  Looking the mirror, I’m pleased with what I see. My hair is up in a high ponytail with a black and teal bow at the base. My makeup is done very dramatically, bright teal and a smoky black covering my eyes, making them seem bigger and brighter. Rachael may be a bitch, but the girl has some great skills at applying makeup. Pulling at my shorts, I turn and look around the room. All of us look so good, and I’m really excited for this performance. We have been training for weeks, and I’m ready for my family and the arena to see us kill the choreography I put together for us.

  “All right, come together,” I hear Rachael say.

  I look around the room to find Skylar standing beside me. She grins at me and I return the grin before together we go to the circle, holding hands with our teammates. Rachael bows her head and we all do the same as she prays for a good performance and for each of us to be strong and safe throughout the performance. She then thanks the Lord above for all of us, and I have to admit it’s nice. I like seeing this side of her; it makes her less of a raging bitch.

  When she glances up, she says, “Now don’t y’all get out there and fuck up.”

  But then she says things like that.

  Rolling my eyes, I listen as she says, “Claire has worked hard on this dance and this is our debut to the whole school. Be on point, hit the marks, and rock that ice. This is our time to shine, and we’re going to make everyone in the place drool. Make sure to stay on the gray tarp. I am not responsible if one of you dumbasses goes off it and slips on the ice.”

  Some giggle but stop when her eyes cut to them. “When we’re here to cheer the boys on, you know not to talk to anyone. You stay in Bullies dance mode. N
o messing around. I don’t care if your boyfriend is hollering at you, your family, your friends, or some random dude. It doesn’t matter. You are working tonight. Remember our dances for the particular songs, and if you get lost, find Claire or me. I’ll be behind the home team, and she’ll be behind the away.”

  Everyone nods and then she glances at the clock before clapping her hands together. “Okay, let’s go kill this,” she says before heading to the door. As I follow behind her, my heart is pounding in my chest, but then the adrenaline takes over and I’m ready.

  In a straight line, our hands on our hips, we strut to the ice on a teal carpet in perfect unison. As I walk, I see Phillip and Reese sitting across the ice behind the home team. Reese is waving like a maniac as Phillip stands with his arms crossed across his chest. When his gaze meets mine though, a small grin appears on his face, and like he always did when I competed, he gives me a thumbs-up.

  At that moment, a calm comes over me because I got this. This is what I’m meant to do.

  “And now, give it up, Bellevue, for your Bellevue Bullies’ dance team!”

  The crowd loses it as we take our spots. I wish Jude were here watching me, but I know he’s in the back, prepping for the game. He promised he would watch the video later, and that’s fine with me. I know, no matter what, he’ll be proud of me.

  When the music to “Animals” by Martin Garrix starts, the crowd gets louder. I’ve performed in packed dance competitions and even for a club full of grown men, but nothing can compare to the sound in this arena. It’s almost hard to hear the music, but right on cue, we all start, killing the hell out of this dance. A smile so wide spreads across my face as we dance, all in perfect unison from what I can tell. I know Rachael and I are on point, moving as one to the music. Mouthing the words to the song, I move my body like it is part of the beat before jumping up into a split leap. Landing on my feet, I start to turn, over and over again until the music stops with a funny little noise, and I stop with my hands on my hips as the whole place goes nuts.