Boarded by Love

by Toni Aleo

  “I’m scared, Claire,” he says, his own eyes filling with tears, and it fucking kills me. “I’m scared that I’m going to trust you and then you’ll break me again. I mean, I know this is probably not as big a deal as I’m making it, but I don’t do lying. I’ve been one hundred percent honest with you. I never lied, and you held this part of you away from me? Is it ’cause you thought I wouldn’t support you?”

  I nod slowly. “I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew I danced like this.”

  “Did you give me the chance, though?”

  I shake my head, biting into my lips because he may very well miss me, and probably still loves me, but if he can’t trust me, what is the point?

  “No, I didn’t,” I whisper. “And I know that’s wrong, but I couldn’t lose you. I knew the dancing wasn’t forever, I knew that it was just until I got the money I needed, and then I would quit. I had nothing, Jude, and I refused to live through that again. I don’t ever want to go back to that life, where being alive didn’t matter. A time when I didn’t believe in anything.” My throat is closed tight with emotion, and I have to look away to compose myself. “I thought I was going to be her; I thought I was going to be alone, no one loving me, and I couldn’t do it. I knew that I had to work. I had to make sure that I never quit and did everything I could to secure my future. I thought I was on my own. I never believed in trusting someone, in being in love, but Jude, that all changed the moment I met you. You’ve opened my eyes, my heart, and now I know I don’t need anything but the love of the people I love.”

  Chancing it, I take a step toward him, and thank God, he doesn’t move. I then reach out, lacing my fingers with his, and I shake all over from the connection. I’ve been dreaming of touching him for the last two weeks, and to feel his warm, callused hands against mine causes the tears to almost choke me as I try to talk again. Taking in a deep breath, I clear my throat and very softly, I say, “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made the biggest one, but I promise you I will work my ass off to prove that I love you and that I will never lie to you or hurt you again. All I need is another chance. All I need is for you believe in me. I just need you to trust me again.”

  His eyes are swimming in tears as he looks into my eyes intensely. His chest is rising and falling very quickly, his lips parted as he breathes in and out. My stomach feels empty, fluttery even, and everything inside me is frozen waiting for him to respond. When his lips start to move, nothing comes out, and I squeeze his fingers, my heart stopping. Suddenly he brings me to him and then his lips are moving against mine. I sob against his lips, crumpling into his arms as he holds me close to him. Kissing my lips, the side of my mouth, my nose. A hysterical laugh leaves my lips, but when his lips meet mine again, I close my eyes tight, savoring this moment.

  When we part, he cups my face, looking deep into my eyes and everything just feels perfect. Magical even. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I smile and he smiles back.

  “I’ve dreamed of doing that every second I breathed.”

  I nod. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  He moves his nose along mine. “I’ve missed you way more.”

  As he moves his lips with mine, we hold each other as we kiss slowly, drawing out each kiss, making up for our time apart. Pulling back, I run my fingers through his beard and smile. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I forgive you,” he whispers against my mouth.

  I swear it’s like Mount Rushmore just fell off my shoulders. Leaning into him, I kiss the side of his mouth and say, “Thank you.”

  Smiling, he says, “You’re welcome, but really, I don’t think there is any other option but to trust you. It was my pride that kept me from you. I couldn’t let it go. I was worried that I would turn into my mom.”

  “I would never do that to you,” I promise.

  As he nods, his nose rubs against mine. “I know that now but it took me some time to realize that.”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  Pinching my jaw between his thumb and forefinger, he says, “I had someone tell me that that I had to think about never seeing your smile or hearing you say I love you, and if I could go on without it, then I didn’t need you. But if I couldn’t, then I had to let you into my heart and then I could make it better.”

  “So they went all ‘Hey Jude’ on you?”

  He nods. “To the fullest. It was kinda weird.”

  Running my hands up his back, I curl my hand along his shoulders and lean into him. “I’m glad they did, because we’re way better together than we are apart.”

  Closing his eyes, he places his lips so close to mine and then whispers, “I couldn’t agree more.”

  He then takes my lips with his, drawing the sweetest and hottest kisses out of me. I mold against him, cherishing every second his lips are on mine. Parting ever so slightly, he whispers, “I thought that I could let you go, and I thought that having yours lips tattooed on my chest would be a great reminder of our love, but all it did was make me realize that I don’t want memories, I want us. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Claire. When I watched you dance tonight, I knew I couldn’t let my baby go to Vegas without knowing her man is right beside her, cheering her on.”

  “So you heard?” I ask, my lips curving in a grin.

  “Oh yeah, and man, I’m so proud of you,” he says with a beautiful grin on his face. Seeing it makes my heart hurt since I missed it so much. “The crazy thing is I trust you on that stage. If you want to dance, go ahead. You don’t need to, but if you want to, I support you and I love you.” My heart warms, my head feels fuzzy, and I can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. Smiling, he says, “It took losing you to know that. I had to grow a little more, and I think we needed those two weeks to realize that this wasn’t some fast, crazy love, that this is real.”

  “It is real,” I say through tears. “I knew that from the beginning.”

  “Yeah, I think so too.”

  “But I won’t ever be on that stage. My contract is strictly to be a director and choreographer of the revue.”

  He lets out a breath and says, “Oh, thank God.” I start to laugh and he smiles, holding me close to him. “I would have supported you, though.”

  “I know, and I’ll always support you,” I breathe, running my fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to ever be apart, but there is a good chance we will be.”

  “I know, especially with you going off to Vegas and me going wherever, but Claire, you know that you’re it for me, right?”

  “I’ve always known that,” I whisper, moving my thumb along his beard, my heart exploding for this guy. “And we will be fine.”

  “Of course we will because you’re the one. You’ve always been the one.”

  I couldn’t say it better myself. Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I go to goo when he hugs me back just as tightly. With his mouth so close to mine, he looks into my eyes and I want to cry I’ve missed him so much, but now I’ll never have to miss him like that again. We may be apart in the future, but I’ll always know that he’s mine and I am his. We’re going to fight and we’re going to want to kill each other, but in the end, we will always love each other, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

  Getting lost in his gaze, I smile, running my thumb along his jaw. With a grin on his face, he kisses the side of my mouth and I suck in a deep breath, completely in awe of him. This is my boyfriend, my man, and I get to spend the rest of my days figuring out ways to show to him that he’s mine, and I know he’ll do the same.

  “By the way,” he says against my lips. “I love you.”

  I’ve never been one to believe words – I’m an action kind of girl – but when Jude’s eyes meet mine and those three words leave his lips, I completely believe him.

  So with a grin on my face, my head dizzy from the hit of love he just gave me, I whisper, “By the way, I love you too. So very much more.”

  “Just want I wanted to hear,” he says w
ith a wink.

  “Glad I could please, but Jude, you’ll need to get ready,” I say, my eyes dancing with mischief.

  “For?” he asks, his eyes darkening with lust.

  “Not that!” I say, and he grins as he lifts me off my feet, kissing my lips. “Okay, maybe some of that, but for real, get ready for our life together.”

  Holding me close, his eyes bore into mine, and all I see is his love for me. I don’t know how we made it those two weeks without each other, but I know we will never be apart like that again.

  Kissing my nose, he says, “It’s going to be amazing.”

  I couldn’t agree more.

  Chapter 50

  Jude

  Seven months later…

  My whole body is shaking, my heart is louder than the crack of a puck on a hockey stick, and I still can’t believe this is happening. This is my future. With my fingers laced tightly with Claire’s, I glance over at her, thankful that she flew to Boston for the draft. I was worried she wouldn’t able to make it, but she promised she would, and when I woke up this morning to her pounding on the door, I could have smothered her with kisses I was so happy to see her.

  These past months have been unbelievably amazing. Claire moved out to Vegas early, after Christmas, and when I say we Skype more than anybody on the planet, I’m not kidding. It’s constant. I sometimes just watch her tell people what to do and train dancers. We even sleep with Skype on, just so that if one of us wakes up, the other is there. I miss her constantly, but I’m thankful she has the weekends off and flies home to be with me. It’s a lot on her, but she’s doing the job beautifully and our love has never been stronger. Diamond Burlesque Revue opens in three weeks, and the buzz about the club is awesome. Claire is excited, which makes me excited, and with the club opening, I really didn’t think she would be able to come, but she made it happen.

  She is here for me.

  When my mom squeezes my hand, I glance over at her and smile. She’s a different person now, and I believe that my dad held her back. She went back to teaching, and I’ve never seen her so happy. My dad, who we now refer to as the dickhead, is holding off the divorce so he can avoid paying her alimony. It’s a fucking headache, but one day she will be free of him. At first it was hard, though; she was extremely broke, and we thought we were going to lose the house, even with all of us working to help out. But then out of nowhere someone paid the house off, taking a huge financial burden off my mother since my dad left her with no money. To this day, my mom still tries to pay Claire back, but she won’t take it. I think I fell in love with her all over again when I found out the check was from her. She told me it wasn’t a big deal, but I think it was. I think it was extremely gracious of her.

  She constantly amazes me.

  Letting go of my mother’s gaze, I look down at where everything is set up for the draft. All thirty teams are prepared. Their coaches, GMs, owners, everyone is down there deciding my fate. The first team is on their fifteen-minute time limit. I’m nervous and hoping I go first, but I don’t know if I will. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m nervous as shit, but then I feel Claire’s lips against my neck and a sense of calm washes over me.

  “You are going to be fine,” she whispers in my ear, and I nod.

  “Thanks,” I say and she smiles, kissing me again. “What if I don’t get picked first?” I whisper in her ear.

  She shrugs. “Then you’ll get picked second.”

  I give her a look, and she smiles. “No matter what, I love you and I’m so proud of you.”

  “I love you.”

  I look back down to where the Los Angeles Kings are making their choice. They weren’t supposed to go first, but they traded one of the top-scoring, senior forwards for the first-round pick. They love me from what my agent says, but they could pass me up for anyone, and that scares me. Did I not impress? I mean, I had a great season, we won the championship, and I know I’m the best, but am I good enough for first round?

  “Stop shaking,” she teases, and I send her a grin.

  “I’m freaking out,” I admit, and she shakes her head.

  “You’ll be–” she starts but then the announcer interrupts her.

  “The Los Angeles Kings have made their pick.” I squeeze her and Mom’s hand as the announcer leans to the mic. “The Los Angeles Kings’ first-round pick is Jude Sinclair of the University of Bellevue.”

  Holy fuck.

  Jumping up, Claire cries out, pulling me up into her arms. Kissing me hard on the lips, her excitement is intoxicating and knocks me out of my paralyzing shock. Kissing her back, I say, “I love you.”

  “I love you!” she cries, her face flooded with tears. “I told you!”

  “Yeah, you did,” I say with a nod.

  “Didn’t I say I was always right?”

  No way in hell am I going to agree with her, but I am going to kiss her because this moment marks the start of our future together. And what better way to start it than with a kiss from the most amazing girl in the world?

  They always say that love is a fantasy, but with this girl, it’s a reality.

  Phillip

  I’ve tried so hard not to hate Claire’s boyfriend, but it’s getting harder by the second. I know I talked him into giving her another chance, but that was mainly for Claire, and now I regret that more than anything. Standing in the face-off circle with the smug little bastard who has already scored on us tonight, I glare, waiting for the puck to drop.

  “You know you want to let me marry her.”

  “Fuck off, Sinclair,” I sneer as the ref pushes me back, but Jude keeps on grinning.

  “I’ll take care of her, Phillip. Just say yes,” he says and I swear I am going to beat the fuck out of this kid.

  “Shut up,” I say again, and he just keeps grinning. When the puck drops, he somehow beats me to it, making me feeling like a fucking grandpa, and passes it back to his defensemen as he flies past me.

  Fast little shit. He’s gotten bigger too.

  I rush to catch up with him, but thankfully Adler is there, stopping Jude from getting past him.

  Or so I think.

  Somehow the little asshole dekes around him as the puck comes up, and the next thing you know, Odder is sprawled out on the ice and the puck is in the back of the net. He throws his arms up, and I glare as he hugs his teammates. I turn, heading to the bench, and I’m almost there when he skates up beside me. When he starts to sing to me about being rude, I can only glare at him because I’ve heard that song on the radio, and it’s not the song I want my niece’s boyfriend singing to me! And also, what fucking respectable hockey player sings on the ice?

  “I’m gonna marry her anyway, no matter what you say,” Jude says with a shrug.

  “The fuck you are,” I yell, and he just smiles.

  “Who’s gonna stop me?”

  And for some fucking reason, say it’s his smug attitude or the fact we’re losing, but I drop my gloves and snatch him by the back of the jersey. He turns just in time for my fist to crack against the side of his face. He comes at me with a punch, getting me in the nose, and the next thing I know we’re throwing and receiving punches back and forth. I have to give it to the kid too; he can hold his own, his punches hurt, and the little asshole has a hard-ass face. I know I’m going to get shit for this later, but surely no one expects me not to put this kid in his place.

  Locking up, we fall to the ground, and as the refs part us, I say, “She’s too young!”

  “I love her! And she loves me! Let me marry her. I’ll fight you over and over again until you let me,” he says, and I can see in his eyes that he isn’t backing down; he wants her.

  “This isn’t the place to do this, boys!” the ref says, and I can even hear my coach hollering at me, but I’m not done.

  “You don’t deserve her!”

  “That again?” he says as they throw us in our own boxes. I then hear him yell, “I love her, Phillip. Say yes!”

  “No. Shut up,”
I yell back, leaning back in the box, breathing hard. As the game restarts and Kings’ fans yell how much I suck and I should go back to Nashville, I sit there and replay the last year. The little shit has been good to Claire. When she isn’t flying home, he flies to her, and she does love him. He even came over and visited with Sawyer and Reese, just to check in on them since Claire and I couldn’t. But I just can’t get over the idea of my baby girl getting married. Maybe she’ll say no, though?

  No, she won’t.

  When our time is up, the doors open and I head out at the same time he does. I look over at him, and he’s looking toward the bench, not paying me any mind. I know I’m not going to see him after the game since we’re heading out to Vancouver.

  Letting out a breath, I say, “Hey Jude.”

  He looks over at me, his eyes burning with anger as he says, “Don’t be afraid?”

  “No, dumbass. Why does it matter if I let you?”

  He shrugs. “Because she loves you, and I want you to support us.”

  I think that over for a minute, and as I reach the bench, I say, “Go ahead, marry her. But know I’ll kill you if you hurt her.”

  He pauses at the door and says, “Wouldn’t think of it.”

  When a grin replaces his angry look, I know I did a good thing, and I’ll probably get in less trouble with Reese since I said yes after kicking his ass.

  Or so I think.

  Chapter 51

  Claire

  “He still isn’t sleeping?” I ask as I smile at Sawyer, giving him fishy lips. He’s only six months old, but he knows who his sissy is, and soon a little toothless grin appears on his sweet, chubby face. He looks so much like Phillip, same eyes and shape to his face, but he has Reese’s brown hair and dark skin tone. He’s a doll and my favorite, of course.

  She shakes her head. “Nope, he wants to sleep all day and party at night. He’s killing me. I’m blaming Harper too; she spoils him.”