Just for Show

by Jae

Amazing how hands so different from each other could be such a good fit. Claire immediately tightened her hold.

  They sat in silence while the landing gear came up with a thump and the plane rose higher.

  Claire clung to Lana’s hand, even though, truth be told, her discomfort with flying wasn’t at the front of her mind at the moment.

  Finally, they reached cruising altitude. The plane leveled off, but Claire’s tension rose anyway because she knew Lana would let go of her hand in a second and then the awkwardness between them would return.

  “Better?” Lana asked softly.

  Claire nodded.

  Lana withdrew her hand.

  Claire instantly missed the warm fingers. She curled her hand to a loose fist on her thigh and peeked over at Lana, who looked about as ill at ease as Claire felt. Time to be an adult. She took a deep breath. “Do you…want to talk about it?”

  “Only if you don’t use your shrink voice,” Lana said firmly.

  “Did I?”

  Lana nodded.

  “Sorry. I…” It had probably been an unconscious attempt to distance herself from her own emotions. She turned her head and studied Lana. “Did we make a mistake?”

  “I don’t know. Did we?” Lana angled her chin up in a silent challenge, but Claire could read the hurt beneath it loud and clear.

  Yeah, being called a mistake will do that to a woman. Fix this, idiot. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply…” She sighed. “I’m not good at this.” She waved her hand back and forth between them.

  Lana lifted her brows. “You’re a relationship expert.”

  “We both know that doesn’t mean anything when it comes to my own…” She cut herself off before she could say relationships, because that wasn’t what this was, was it?

  “Listen,” Lana said after a few seconds of silence. She lowered her voice. “I think it’s safe to say that we both enjoyed last night.”

  “Oh yeah.” The two words escaped Claire before she could hold them back. Heat shot to her cheeks.

  Lana chuckled, and the tension between them eased a fraction. “But that doesn’t change anything.” Her voice sounded mechanical. “We’ll wait for Ms. Huge to send you the contract, then go our separate ways with no hard feelings at all, right?”

  “Right.” It should have been a relief, but somehow, it wasn’t. With Lana’s expectant gaze resting on her, Claire forced herself to add, “What happens in New York stays in New York.”

  In about a week, they would each go back to their own lives, with Lana fifty thousand dollars and Claire one publishing contract richer. They would both get what they wanted.

  Then why did it feel as if she was about to lose everything?

  Chapter 18

  Claire had never been so glad to have clients cancel a session as she was on this Monday morning. She couldn’t focus on work, and that had rarely happened to her before. Yeah, but you also never had a one-night stand before.

  After their return from New York, she’d spent the rest of the weekend revising the two chapters she and Bridget Huge had talked about. It wasn’t just to get it done while it was still fresh in her mind, she admitted to herself.

  Holing up in her home office also made it easier to avoid Lana and to distract herself from the constant slide show of images playing through her mind. Very erotic images that had no place at work.

  With a grunt, she threw down her pen and closed the patient file. Maybe a coffee would help.

  On the way to the break room, her gaze fell through the open door of the waiting room. It was empty at the moment. One of their patients had left two magazines behind on the small table instead of putting them back into the magazine rack.

  Claire detoured and picked up the two magazines to return them to their proper place. Wow. The rack was a mess. Someone had put the newest issue of Psychology Today into the entertainment section. She pulled it out and put it back with the other health and psychology magazines. And what was Better Homes and Gardens doing next to Sports Illustrated?

  She put down her empty coffee mug and started reorganizing the magazines.

  A quiet “uh-oh” made her look up.

  Renata leaned in the doorway, a stack of files under one arm. “Don’t tell me they rejected the manuscript.”

  “What? No. Things went great in New York.” Her annoying visual imagination immediately reminded her of just how great some of the things in New York had been. She hid her blush from Renata by turning back to the magazine rack to remove an issue of Time that was from last year. Only when the heat in her cheeks lessened did she turn back around.

  “Really?” Renata beamed. “So they offered you a contract?”

  “As good as,” Claire answered. “The acquisitions editor said I’ll have it in my in-box sometime this week.”

  “That’s fantastic. I’m so happy for you.” Renata came over, put her stack of files down on the table, and wrapped Claire in a motherly embrace.

  “Thank you,” Claire murmured against her shoulder. “And thank you for helping me with the book. Your support means the world to me. I hope I tell you that enough.”

  Renata let go and held her at arm’s length to study her thoroughly. “You’re very welcome. You know you’re like the daughter I never had.”

  “You have two daughters.”

  “Oops.” Renata flashed a grin. “Okay, then you’re the office daughter I never had. Which is why it’s my prerogative to be worried about you.”

  “Why would you be worried? I just told you the book deal will go through.”

  Renata tapped the magazine in Claire’s hand. “Then why are you sorting the magazines?”

  “Because they were a mess and needed to be put in order.”

  “Tanya could have done that. That’s why we pay her the not-so-big bucks.” Renata peeked out into the reception area and pulled the door closed. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “I, um…” Claire pressed her lips together. No use trying to pretend she was fine. She wanted to talk about it, but how could she without admitting that she had lied to Renata for the past two months and that she had secured her book deal only with a crazy charade?

  “Is it Abby?” Renata rubbed Claire’s arm.

  Claire blinked. “Abby?”

  “Yeah. I know you’re in a new relationship now, but that doesn’t mean you’re completely over Abby. It’s okay to be upset for a while.”

  Claire almost smiled. The funny thing was that she hadn’t thought of Abby in days. Certainly not since Friday night. “I think I am.”

  “Upset?”

  “No. Over Abby.” It was the truth, she realized the moment she’d said it. “I think I’ve moved on.”

  “Wow. That’s fantastic. I didn’t think you had. I thought you just jumped into something with Lana to help you forget the pain.”

  Lana… Claire swallowed. She had jumped into something with her, but had it really been because of her breakup? “No,” she said firmly. “That’s not why I’m with Lana.” At least that much she could say for sure. After all, she had hired Lana because of the book deal, not because of her broken heart.

  “Are you sure?” Renata asked. “The last time we talked about it, you hadn’t even sent Abby the ring back. Clearly, a part of you hadn’t let go of the idea of marrying her.”

  That might have been true in the beginning, but lately, she had realized that she didn’t want Abby and the life they’d had together back. She enjoyed the better work/life balance she had now—stopping to eat the lunch Lana had packed her, having dinner with her even if it meant bending her rule about carbs after six, and watching a movie together.

  “Um, I still haven’t sent back the ring.” When Renata opened her mouth, Claire lifted her hands. “Not because I’m hanging on to the idea of a future with her. Maybe I did at first, but now…”

>   “Now?” Renata prompted.

  “Now I actually forgot. With Lana and the book deal and everything…”

  Renata smiled. “How’s that working out?”

  “Like I just said, the contract will—”

  “Not the book deal. Your new relationship. I know you’re usually very tight-lipped about your private life at the office, but I’d like to think we’re more than just colleagues. You know you can talk to me about personal things, don’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  “So, how are things working out between you and Lana?”

  Another blush rose up Claire’s neck.

  Renata chuckled and patted her arm. “That good?”

  “It’s… She’s…” Claire gestured wildly, looking for a word that would explain without giving the true nature of their relationship away. Whatever you do, don’t say complicated to a psychologist. It would be like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

  A quick rap on the door interrupted her before she could say anything. Tanya opened the door and looked from Claire to Renata with a curious expression. “Sorry to interrupt your secret meeting, but I’ve got Mr. Hatfield from the magazine subscription service on the phone. It’s time for our renewal, and he’d like to talk to someone about a new package they’re offering. Do you want me to handle it?”

  “No, thanks. I thought this time Claire might like to do it since she’s so familiar with our magazine rack.” Renata gave Claire a grin and a nudge toward the door.

  Well, if she wanted to take over the counseling center one day, she’d have to handle things like this every once in a while. “I’m on my way.”

  And sometime this week, there was something else she had to take care of. She’d call Abby and arrange to finally give her the ring back. At least she would be able to resolve one thing before signing the contract and starting a new chapter of her life.

  Lana wiped her brow when the onslaught of the need-coffee-to-function crowd finally trickled down to one new customer every few minutes. If she had to prepare one more of these ridiculous orders such as five pumps of hazelnut and five pumps of vanilla but hold the whipped cream because I’m watching my figure, she’d have a screaming fit.

  Avery pointed at the last customer Lana had served. “No little steamed-milk hearts on the lattes today? Our customers will think you don’t love them anymore.”

  “I don’t feel like little hearts today.” Lana wiped down the steam nozzle of the espresso machine a little less gently than usual.

  “Uh-oh.” Avery waved at the employee working the morning shift with them. “Hey, Diego, can you take over for a minute? I need to talk to my sister.” Not giving Lana a chance to protest, she tugged her into the storage room. “What’s up? Trouble in paradise?”

  Lana took a caramel cookie from one of the boxes, unwrapped it, and ate it while she thought about what to say. Denying that something was going on wouldn’t do her any good. First, Avery knew her too well, and second, if she and Claire would officially break up soon, maybe it was a good thing if she indicated they were having problems to make it more believable later.

  “Come on, sis. Talk to me,” Avery said when Lana remained silent for too long.

  “I don’t think it’s going to work out.” She crumpled the wrapper in her hand.

  “Why?” Avery crowded closer with a worried frown. “Did something happen when you were in New York?”

  An image of Claire with her head thrown back in ecstasy flashed through Lana’s mind. “Oh yeah. You could say that.”

  “What was it?” Avery asked. “Did you have an argument?”

  Lana took another cookie and ate it to delay her answer. “No. Nothing like that. I just… I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”

  “Want to translate that for me? Because it feels like you’re talking in riddles.”

  Lana sighed.

  “Well, whatever’s going on, I know it’s not about you realizing that you’re not in love with her,” Avery said. “I know that look on your face.” She pointed. “That’s how you looked when you fell head over heels for Jessica McPhee in eighth grade.”

  “Bullshit,” Lana said, a little too loudly. “I’m not—” She bit her lip before she could add, in love with Claire. Avery was supposed to think that she was crazy for Claire. If she was honest with herself, her feelings were heading in that direction.

  Yeah, and that’s why it’s a good thing it’ll end soon before you’re in over your head. How the hell had things gotten so out of control so fast?

  “You’re not…what?” Avery handed her another cookie as if bribing her to answer.

  Slowly, Lana unwrapped the cookie and nibbled on it. “I’m not sure Claire and I are on the same page when it comes to our relationship. What happened between us…it doesn’t mean the same to her as it does to me. You know,” she said very quietly and stared down at the half-eaten cookie in her hand, “lately, I have started wondering if I’m like Mom, always falling for the wrong people and ending up getting hurt.”

  Avery snorted. “Girl, you’re nothing like your mother. Yeah, okay, you didn’t exactly win the relationship lottery with Katrina, but other than that, your track record isn’t that bad. It sure as hell is better than mine. I kinda like Claire. Not that I got to see a lot of her.”

  Lana ignored the jab. “I kinda like her too,” she murmured.

  “Um, Lana,” Diego shouted from the counter. “There’s a customer who insists on having her latte made by you.”

  Avery nudged her. “Oooh. Looks like you have an admirer.”

  Lana tossed the cookie wrappers into the garbage can and stepped out of the storage room.

  Her friend Jill was leaning against the counter, her sunglasses slid up onto her head. “Hey, stranger. Sorry, no admirer, just me.” She grinned at Lana. “Not that I don’t admire you, of course.”

  Lana chuckled, her mood improving at the sight of her friend. “Sorry I didn’t call after we got back from New York. The weekend was a little…um, hectic. How are you doing?”

  “I’m great.”

  Jill always said that, no matter how she was doing. But she did look great—not that the symptoms of MS were always visible.

  Lana rounded the counter and gave her a hug.

  “So,” Jill said as Lana returned to the espresso machine to make Jill’s latte, “how was New York?”

  “Um, great. Claire’s book is going to get published.”

  “Wow, that’s great. Tell her congratulations. So, what else did you do in New York? Did you see any sights—or did you stay in your hotel room the entire time?” Jill gave her a teasing grin.

  Lana fought a blush. “We were there for an interview and a meeting with the publisher, not for sightseeing or…other activities.” After a pause, she added, “But we did manage to see a few things.”

  Images of Claire’s naked body, stretched out beneath hers, rose in Lana’s mind.

  Jill laughed. “Judging from the nice color of your face, they must have been pretty spectacular things.”

  “Um, yeah, like the High Line and the Empire State Building.”

  Jill gave her a knowing look but mercifully let it go. “What are you and Claire doing for the Fourth? Crash and I are inviting some friends over—Laleh and Hope, Grace and Lauren, Jordan and Emma, and a few others. Everyone is bringing some food. The two of you are welcome to join us.”

  Lana bit her lip. Even if she and Claire were still together…um, pretending to be together the day after tomorrow, would Claire want to spend the Fourth with Lana and her friends now that the publishing contract was as good as signed?

  Of course, she could always go alone, but she wasn’t in the mood to mingle with all these happy couples and explain why Claire wasn’t there.

  “Sorry, we already have plans.” Lana hated lying to her friend, but
what else could she do? Since she still didn’t feel like creating hearts, she put a foam fern on top of Jill’s latte before handing it over.

  Jill admired the latte art. “Nice. What do I owe you?”

  “Nothing.” Lana winked. “Just don’t tell my boss. She’s kind of stingy.”

  “Hey!” Avery protested from where she was refilling coffee beans.

  Jill laughed and stuck her five-dollar bill into the tip jar. “I’ll call you this weekend. Maybe we can catch up.”

  Before Lana could reply, she waved, slid her sunglasses down, and was out the door with her latte.

  Lana groaned. Catching up meant Jill would try to get her to spill her guts about how things were going between her and Claire.

  Chapter 19

  On Tuesday morning, Claire sat at the kitchen island and checked her email on her laptop while sipping her first cup of coffee of the day. The two emails at the top made her groan. Both were from her mother, reminding her to bring a broccoli pasta salad to their Fourth of July family barbecue tomorrow—and, of course, to make sure to invite Lana too.

  She had ignored her mother’s first email yesterday, not knowing what to answer about Lana, so today she’d gotten another one, saying the same.

  All she wanted was to have a nice day with her family and to bask in her parents’ pride when she told them about the book deal and the successful radio interview. But if she didn’t bring Lana, she’d have to face questions, maybe even tell them that they had split up. God, two breakups within four months. She would make even Steph look like the queen of long-term relationships in comparison.

  You should have thought of that before you signed that crazy fiancée contract. Lana had a life to return to. Claire couldn’t expect her to hang around forever. But maybe they could do this last outing together as a couple. Uh, as a fake couple, of course.

  She was about to log out of her email account when a chime announced another message.

  Probably another reminder from her mother.

  But when she glanced at the sender, it was an email from Bridget Huge.