I finally tore my eyes away from his arm to look at him, a strange feeling washing over me. One I really couldn’t explain and I wasn’t even sure I needed to. Just running with things seemed like a much better option right now, given how crazy and surreal everything was. ‘I still don’t understand…’
‘When you walked out, Lana, I fell apart. I couldn’t function, couldn’t cope. I didn’t want to. I… I tried pulling myself together, shaved off the beard, tried to go back to that man I’d been before, to see if that would help, but it all felt wrong. Nothing felt right. Everything was all jumbled up and disjointed and none of it… none of it was what I wanted. Not anymore. Then one morning, I walked into the office and I knew – I just knew I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t worth it. My heart wasn’t in it.’
I pulled my robe back around myself and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it, looking up as he sat down beside me. ‘What… what have you done, Adam?’ Because he still hadn’t answered that one. Oh, I could see he’d got that tattoo, that he’d cut his hair, but I was sure those things were only part of the ‘everything’ he was talking about.
He stared straight out ahead of him, his eyes focusing on nothing in particular. ‘David’s taking over the business because I just don’t want to be there now.’ He turned his head to look at me, those beautiful blue eyes of his boring deep into mine. ‘I want to be with you.’
None of this was sinking in. I was struggling to get my head around any of it.
He looked back down at his arm, tentatively touching his new ink. ‘When I asked Finn to do this for me he spent about an hour quizzing me as to whether I was sure. And he… he tried to talk me out of getting your name tattooed on my arm because…’ His eyes met mine again, ‘… because he said I needed to be certain that my feelings for you were going to be as permanent as the ink he was about to embed into my skin.’
‘He should have told me what was happening. You two keeping secrets from me – I’m getting a feeling of déjà vu here.’
Adam shook his head, his gaze dipping again. ‘I didn’t want him to tell you. If you’d known I was coming, known what I was doing, it would have lessened the impact. It would have given you time to think about things and I didn’t want that.’ He looked back at me. ‘I just wanted you to see how serious I am, about us. Because we’re the only thing that matters, Lana. The only thing.’
‘Oh, baby,’ I whispered, resting my hand against his cheek, leaning over to kiss him gently, closing my eyes as his mouth moved slowly against mine. ‘I love you so much, Adam.’
‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lana. A life I am changing because I need you more than I need business meetings and status and dinner parties that bore the crap out of me.’
Was this really my ex-husband saying those words? Or was this just some crazy, messed-up dream sent to raise my hopes to ridiculous levels, only to have them crash down around me in the cruellest of ways the second I woke up.
‘Finn and I, we’re going into business together.’
Okay. I’d heard those words come out of his mouth, but now I really was beginning to think I was about to wake up any second now. ‘I’m… sorry? You and Finn? Going into business –together?’
He nodded. ‘We got talking, while he did this…’ He indicated his tattoo. ‘We’re going to set up another studio, in Durham, with a third one, in time, somewhere near the coast. He’s getting snowed under at the Newcastle studio, and there isn’t enough room to accommodate any more staff there, so opening up more studios is the only feasible option. And it’s something Finn’s wanted to do for a while, apparently. Expand the business. Have a chain of Black Inks right across the north-east. But he doesn’t have the capital he needs to be able to do that just yet, so, that’s where I come in. We’ve already checked out the perfect site in the centre of Durham, in an ideal location…’
‘Whoa, okay. Slow down there.’ I stood up, going over to the window, taking a minute to look out over a town that seemed to make people crazy the second they set foot in it. ‘You’re investing money in Finn’s tattoo business?’ I turned back around, barely able to believe I’d just uttered those words.
‘I’m investing in his business, yes,’ Adam replied, walking slowly over to me. ‘Bobby’s going to run the Durham studio, and, as for the next one we open – well, both Finn and I think that should be yours, Lana.’
I was completely speechless now. This couldn’t be happening, surely. I mean, I was all for spontaneity, but this – this was crazy. This was everything being turned upside down in a way I could never have envisaged. ‘Me?’ My voice was little more than a whisper. ‘But…’
‘Once you’re qualified, of course.’
I just stared at him. I was still too stunned to do anything else.
‘You are being trained by one of the country’s most acclaimed tattoo artists, Lana. And I know that, to you, Finn Black is just your brother, but, he really is exceptional at what he does. I know that now. I’ve spoken to people, looked at his work, seen how he runs that studio back home and – he’s a very talented, very organised young man with a reputation I’m not even sure he’s fully aware of. But the fact you are serving your apprenticeship under him, that will mean that your name as a tattoo artist will attract custom. Do you understand?’
I narrowed my eyes as I stared at him, still trying to process all the information he was telling me. But it was like a million things were all being thrown at me, all at once. He’d been here all of five minutes and suddenly everyone’s lives were in the process of being changed beyond recognition. It was hard to take in. ‘I… Jesus. I can’t actually think straight right now.’
'Look, we can just have sex, if you like, and then see where we go from there? You know, fuck first, talk later, if this is too much to take in.’ He never spoke like that. Who was this man? Whoever he was, it wasn’t the old Adam I knew, but Jesus, he was HOT!
He smiled, moving closer to me, sliding a hand under my robe, the touch of his fingers on my skin taking my breath away. Those unfamiliar gasps were back, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I wasn’t even going to bother trying.
‘I’m quite happy to fuck first,’ I whispered, breathlessly. His body pressing lightly against mine was making me shiver, my heart picking up a heavy, fast rhythm as his fingers brushed over my naked breasts.
I ran my fingers through his now-shorter hair, messing it up as much as I could, his head lowering for a second, his mouth briefly brushing over my breasts, first one, then the other, before he raised his head back up, smiling at me. I’d never felt a wave of love and lust so strong as he pulled me against him, his mouth crashing down onto mine. It was almost as if he’d had some sort of personality change on the way over here. He was oozing a kind of confidence he’d once reserved only for the boardroom; displaying skills he’d never let loose before as far as sex was concerned. Something seemed to have happened to Adam between me leaving him and him turning up here. Unless, like me, everything he was doing now had been there inside of him all along, just waiting for the chance to be set free. I didn’t care – where it had come from or where he’d learnt it, I didn’t care. He was here and that was all that mattered. We were all that mattered. Was my happy-ever-after finally about to happen…?
37
‘Okay, so, you’re handing the business over to David. But you’re still involved, right?’ I asked, turning onto my stomach, my arm flung over Adam’s chest, his hand holding mine.
‘Yes, but, from now on, I’m going to be very much a silent partner. No more business meetings, no more dinner parties or networking evenings at country hotels… You disappointed?’
I smiled, kissing him quickly. ‘Devastated.’
He laughed, a sound that made my heart dance, and I was determined never to let that feeling go. Ever. I’d learnt my lesson on that score.
‘Adam?’
He looked at me, his hand squeezing mine ever so gently. ‘Hmm?’
‘All this change… I know you said you wanted to prove to me how committed you are, to us…’ I hadn’t really wanted to bring this up, but it needed to be said. I needed to know. Because if there was any chance he was going to regret this, there was still time for him to pull back. The handing over of the business to David was still in the hands of lawyers, nothing had been signed yet, as was the case with him and Finn. They weren’t due to start putting any wheels in motion until we got back home. Even the tattoo could be removed, if he really didn’t want it. He could turn it all around if he wasn’t one hundred per cent sure. And that’s what I needed to know – that he was one hundred per cent sure. Because, as far as he was concerned, he was making some huge personal sacrifices and he needed to be certain, really certain, that he was doing – that he’d done – the right thing. ‘I don’t want you to be unhappy, Adam. Because I know…’
‘Hey, come on. Listen to me. Do you know what was making me unhappy? Not having you. All the success in the world, all the money and power and business awards, they mean fuck all in reality. We let life get in the way, Lana. We both let that happen. We lost us. And finding each other… I can’t lose us again, so, I am willing to do anything – anything – I can to make sure that never happens. I would have had any number of tattoos, darling. I would have ridden a motorbike over burning flames, grown my hair if the beard wasn’t enough… anything, as long as it meant we could be together.’
‘The short hair’s just fine. In fact, this shorter hair of yours makes you look even sexier.’ I smiled, letting go of his hand to run my fingers over his beard. ‘And, please, leave the fire-related motorbike stunts alone, but, we could get a bike… a big bike could be fun,’ a cheeky, knowing smile spread across my face, ‘and as far as the tattoos are concerned…’ I closed my eyes as we kissed, allowing every second of his lips touching mine to embed themselves into my brain so I didn’t, couldn’t, forget how he felt. How he tasted. We’d known each other for so long, been together for almost two decades, but this was all brand new to me. To him. To us. ‘Feel free to have as many of those as you like. You’ll hear no complaints from me.’
He returned my smile, pulling me over on top of him, his arm circling my waist. ‘Finn tells me you’re planning another one.’
‘Yeah. My hip and thigh are feeling particularly naked. They need some decoration.’
‘Can I watch?’ he asked, pulling himself up slightly, but keeping his arm tight around me.
I straddled him, sliding a hand around the back of his neck, kissing him slowly. ‘You want to watch me get inked?’
‘I want to be in your world, Lana,’ he whispered, lifting me up just a touch, my body instantly relaxing the second I felt him slip inside me. ‘I want to see what you do, how you live, how you work. I want to see it all.’
‘Oh, baby…’ I arched my back, pushing down onto him, pulling him in deeper, my mouth resting lightly on his as I spoke. ‘You can watch whatever you like.’
‘Good. That’s good.’ He clung onto my hips, keeping me in position, pushing me down harder against him. ‘Because I’ve got a whole lot more to learn now.’
‘You got that right, handsome,’ I breathed, closing my eyes and throwing my head back, my fingers intertwining with his on my thighs as I felt the rush already begin, that delicious tingle that, for a few brief, beautiful seconds, pushed everything else aside and let me concentrate on nothing but him. Inside me. And this time, he wasn’t going anywhere.
‘Hiding any more secrets from me, hmm?’
‘I was only doing what he asked me to do, Lana.’
‘Again. You’re becoming his bitch, Finn.’
‘Fuck off, Saunders,’ he laughed. ‘Anyway, isn’t that your job?’
‘Oh, I’m a whole different kind of bitch for that man, believe me.’
‘Okay…That’s enough info right there, sis. So, it’s going okay, then? You and Mister CEO?’
‘Except, he’s not Mister CEO anymore, is he? Or he won’t be in a few weeks, anyway.’
‘You gonna miss the bad-girl-in-the-boardroom role play or something?’
‘I’m really not going there with you, Finn.’
‘And for that I’m eternally grateful.’
I paused for a second or two, looking out at the view ahead of me – of the hotels and the crowds of people all making their way along the Strip. It was just another day in Vegas. But not for me.
‘He’s different, Finn. Adam, I mean. He really seems different this time.’
‘Different?’
‘Yeah… And it’s not just that he looks different, it’s the way he’s acting, too. The way he talks, the things he does now…’
‘Is that not a good thing?’
‘Yeah, of course it is, it’s just… He said you quizzed him over his certainty about the tattoo.’
‘He was asking for something to be permanently etched into his skin, Lana, and this was coming from a man with a history of dislike for ink. So I just wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing. And he was asking for a name to be tattooed onto him, which is never a good idea, and you know why. But he was adamant it was what he wanted. I just needed to know that he was certain about you and him – about your future together – before I agreed to do it for him.’
‘So he must have seemed pretty certain, then? For you to have done that tattoo.’
‘I wouldn’t have done it otherwise, Lana. You know that.’
I leant back against the wall, looking up at the clear, blue sky as the hustle of the busy Vegas Strip carried on around me. ‘We’re planning a Vegas wedding, Finn.’
‘What? While you’re over there?’
‘No. No, we’re not rushing back into marriage. We’re taking our time, trying to remember what it was like when we first met. There’s a lot we need to get back, Finn. A lot we have to get used to, and that’s going to take time.’
‘You’re really sure this time, sis?’
‘Well, Adam landed here with a shedload of surprises, some of which I’m still not sure I’ve got my head completely around, but we’re working it out. One day at a time. There’s gonna be a lot to sort out once we arrive back home, but, him coming here… We’ve both realised we want this, more than anything. We’re gonna be just fine.’
‘And this new Adam? You getting used to him?’
I smiled to myself, picking at the frayed knee of my jeans. ‘He’s not that different, really. He still looks as hot as hell; it’s his way of thinking that’s changed the most.’
‘And what’s happening with Scotty? He still there in Vegas?’
‘Yeah. He’s still here. I’m meeting him in a few minutes, actually.’
‘Why?’
‘To tell him Adam’s back. For good this time.’
‘And will this stop him from bugging you about going to Los Angeles?’
‘He’s not some infatuated sixteen-year-old kid, Finn. I think he’ll get the message. Look, Eddie’s been good for me. He’s given me experiences I could never have found alone, given me a taste of something I will never forget. But he also focused my mind, made me realise that I can’t love anyone but Adam. It’s as simple as that. I liked being around Eddie and for a brief time I thought that was gonna be enough. But it wasn’t. It never will be. I need Adam. And I can deny that all I like, claim I’m stronger than that, that I don’t really need anyone, but I do. I need Adam, and without Eddie I’m not sure I would have realised that.’
‘And you’re absolutely sure this time?’
‘I’m absolutely sure.’
‘Then I’d better be coming with you to Vegas when you tie the knot – again – with my future business partner. You doing the whole Elvis thing or what?’
I laughed, suddenly feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. ‘Don’t know what we’re doing yet. We just know that we want it to be fun.’
‘So, when are you two coming home, then?’
‘Wednesday. We thought a couple more days here wouldn
’t do us any harm.’
‘You not sick of the place yet?’
‘I don’t think I’ll ever be sick of this place,’ I sighed. ‘Not after everything that’s happened here.’
‘Jesus. You going soft on me, sis?’
I laughed again, aware of a figure walking towards me now. Eddie. ‘I’ve got to go, Finn. Eddie’s here.’
‘Okay. You take care, you hear? And you tell that extremely generous man of yours that I’m grateful. More grateful than he’ll ever know for the help he’s giving me. And I mean that. So you tell him, alright?’
‘Alright. Speak to you soon… Oh, and Finn?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Love you.’
‘Love you back, kiddo.’
I ended the call, looking down as I felt Eddie approach.
‘Hey there, gorgeous.’
‘Hey.’
He stopped in front of me, reaching out to tilt my face up, lightly touching my cheek, his fingers stroking my skin, and it still felt good when he touched me. But he wasn’t Adam. He never would be. In one respect Eddie was everything I’d ever dreamt of, but in another he was nothing I wanted.
‘Was this deliberate?’ he asked, indicating the spot we were standing in. The very same spot where he’d pushed me back against the wall I was leaning against now, and kissed me like I’d never been kissed before, on that very first night out together.
I looked up into those dark, almost black, eyes of his. ‘This wall holds a lot of happy memories for me.’
He smiled, and I returned it, trying to push back a completely unexpected wave of sadness.
Shirley Valentine Goes to Vegas Page 31