Forgotten, Saved, Loved

by Violet Samuels

  Damon's eyes widen as he starts to see what's happening. He stumbles back, going to make a run for it. I raise my hand and in a flash, roots shoot out of the ground and take him up into the air, holding him there.

  He lets out a scream, thrashing around as he tries to escape my hold.

  "Why are you doing this?! I helped you, Celina! I made you the person you are today!" he screams at me. I tighten the roots.

  "You did nothing for me." My voice comes out light and melodic, a major contrast to what I'm truly feeling.

  "I hope you enjoy hell!" I say strongly then tighten the roots so much so that Damon's bones crack and crush under the pressure. I watch on with a calm composure as the life slowly leaves the eyes of the man who has tortured me for nearly my whole life.

  22

  ALEX

  Stupid Aileen...

  Stupid Damon...

  Stupid Comrade...

  Stupid everything!

  Everything is so freaking stupid!

  First, Comrade has to go and attack Damon, then Damon has to go and attack Comrade and then Aileen won't let me into the medic room and everything is just stupid!

  "Far out..." I sigh angrily as I pace back and forth outside the medic room while running a hand through my hair. Aileen even locked -- yes locked -- the door just to make sure I wouldn't come barging in there. Seriously! Stupid!

  "Alex, you need to calm down!" Axel's voice rings through my ears. I stop my pacing long enough to shoot him a glare.

  I point my finger at him as I say, "No! You need to calm down."

  I go back to my pacing.

  Ok, come on, Alex! Think of anything other than the fact that Comrade is lying on a hospital bed bleeding to death.

  Chocolate.

  Bunnies.

  Super glue.

  Christmas.

  Easter.

  Blue.

  Red.

  Ahh! This isn't working!

  I stop my pacing and lean against the wall, my hands gripping my hair so tight that I think I'm damaging my scalp. I slide down the wall and curl myself into a ball, releasing a small whimper. I rock back and forth trying to calm down. This is all wrong -- so, so wrong.

  Next thing I know, somebody's pulling me into a hug. I don't take notice of who it is as I wrap my arms around their waist and let the flood gates open. I just cry and cry and cry into this person’s chest, letting all my emotions out at once.

  Comrade's dying in the room right behind me and I can't do a thing about it. I'm stuck outside in the arms of somebody who I wish was Comrade. He's everything to me, he's my rock. I love him.

  He's made me laugh and smile and just have fun. I've made him laugh and smile and have fun. Where's that all gonna go if he goes? What I am going to do? I won't be able to live without him. I won't be able to be happy.

  "I-I d-don't wa-want him to-to die!" I wail, gripping the person’s shirt tight. They try to shush me and rub my back in a soothing way.

  "It's ok. It's all gonna be ok!” the voice whispers. But it's not gonna be ok. Everything's falling apart and crashing down onto me like a ton of bricks.

  My stomach starts to twist and turn as thought after thought races through my head about what not being able to see Comrade's smile when I wake up is going to do to me. Or the way his hair sits on top of his head throughout the day. Or the way his eyes twinkle when they land on me. Or the way he walks, speaks, and laughs. What's gonna kill me the most though, is not gonna be able to hear him say I love you ever again. I will never be able to hear those three beautiful words glide out of his mouth like the wings of a bird gliding through the air ever again.

  He'll be gone and I'll be alone.

  "Alex?" a tired voice says from behind me. I take the moment to remove my face from the person’s chest and look at the person the voice belongs to. Aileen.

  She's covered in blood from head to toe. Her mask thing is down around her neck and she's holding deep red gloves in her hand. Except, I don't think they were that colour to begin with.

  I rip myself out of the person’s hold and rush over to her, nearly tripping over my own feet.

  "Please Aileen, tell me he's okay," I whisper, my voice croaky and hoarse. I swear, if she says anything but that he's okay, I'll go and dive straight off a cliff.

  "Alex, I have to be truthful," Aileen starts, putting a hand on my shoulder. More tears well up in my eyes as they start to fall down my already soaked cheeks.

  "Is he okay?" I repeat, my lips trembling with every word. I sound weak and vulnerable, exactly what I'm feeling.

  Aileen sighs before saying, "He's alive, barely. We've managed to comatose him. We don't know if he's gonna wake up, but we'll do everything in our power to try."

  I feel ecstatic and devastated at the same time, not really sure what emotion is stronger. I'm ecstatic that he's okay, but absolutely devastated that he may never wake up.

  "Can I see him?" I whisper again. Aileen gives me a sad smile and nods, opening the door wider for me to step through.

  I take a deep breath and get ready to step into the room before a deep voice stops me, "Alex, just remember that you're strong."

  I look behind me to see Axel staring at me with a big wet spot on his shirt. It clicks in my head that he must've been the one I was crying on. I would feel embarrassed if I wasn't feeling miserable.

  I nod at Axel as I see Celina burst through the door. I only catch a glimpse of a retreating gold dress before Aileen closes the door of the medic station behind me.

  "Follow me, Alex,” she tells me, motioning with her hand. I obediently follow, taking notice of the amount of blood on the floor. I have to bite my tongue to keep a sob from escaping.

  Aileen stops at a door that I've become all too familiar with. This was the door that I came to everyday for at least three weeks. This was Comrade's room and it is again.

  "I thought it would help if you were in somewhere familiar," Aileen murmurs. She delicately places her hand on the door handle and pushes down, the door opening with a small click.

  "Stay as long as you like,” she says again, leaving me as soon as the last word leaves her mouth.

  I stare at the open door. What do I do? Do I go in? Will I be able to handle it? What if I walk in and see something different from what I expected? Ugh! What do I do? I don't know what to do!

  I close my eyes, purse my lips and push the door fully open. I don't open my eyes for a long time, not really having the courage.

  "Come on, Alex, just open your eyes," I encourage myself. I finally work up the strength to open my eyes, but I instantly regret it.

  There, lying limply on the bed is Comrade. The covers of the bed are pulled up to his waist, allowing the bandage covering his whole upper body to be on full view. His face looks peaceful, apart from the busted lip. His arms lie still by his side, not even twitching. All in all, he looks a lot better than what I thought he would look like. I was expecting him to look like he just got out of a brawl. Still, the sight of him is horrible.

  A sob pushes its way through my lips as I notice the tiniest amount of blood seeping through the bandage. Since he's lying on his back, I can't see the whole wound, yet the blood still seems to make an appearance.

  I hurriedly shut the door behind me and bolt to his bed. I don't think twice about gripping his hand in my own two, feeling the amazing sparks shoot throughout my body.

  "Comrade... My poor Comrade," I mumble to myself as I brush away some of his dark hair. I can't hold it in any longer as I burst into hysterics.

  "P-please wake up! I-I don't kn-now what I'm g-gonna d-do with-without you!" I cry as I bury my head in his bandage covered chest. I cry and cry and cry some more, not caring what I would look like right now.

  I came straight here after I was carried away by someone, I don't know who. I was too focused on the fact that Comrade was losing blood. A lot of it. I didn't care that I still had his blood on me when I showed up, all I cared about was him. I must look like a mess with his b
lood, my matted hair and my most likely blotchy face, but that's ok. The only thing I'm worried about right now is Comrade and if he's ever gonna wake up. For the love of the Moon Goddess I hope he does...

  Two months later…

  "...and then Ally and Taylor just jumped on me! I couldn't believe it! They got me good," I say as I sit by Comrade's bed.

  Light from the open blinds of the window shines into the room, making Comrade's body glow. His dark hair is a lot longer now. It hangs over his ears and over his eyes, so much so that I have to move it out of the way every few minutes.

  Comrade himself hasn't changed much. He's still in a coma, but his wound is fully healed. He had to get an operation done on his back since Damon damaged it pretty bad. I couldn't understand why Comrade hadn't woken up after his wound healed, but Aileen tried to explain it to me. She said that just because his wounds healed, doesn't mean that his body has. He was injured in wolf form, so it's taking its toll on him. Honestly, I was pissed about the news.

  Another thing I discovered was that not only did I nearly lose Comrade, but I lost my dad. Apparently he threw himself into the fight without a second thought and was killed soon after. His funeral was the day after the semi-war. I'm not surprised, but a little disappointed. I understand why he did it though, he was dying without mum. However, he still left me all by myself with a half dead mate and a broken heart. His death only piled onto the weight that's pushing down on my chest.

  "So, that's all that's happened so far. Nothing exciting," I mutter, staring at Comrade's closed eyelids. The amount of times his dark eyes have haunted my dreams is unbearable. I don't want them to haunt me. I want them to look at me with that sparkle they use to have.

  I brush the hair away that's fallen over his eyes for the tenth time today. I always come and visit Comrade after breakfast. I don't leave for lunch. I eat in here when Aileen brings it to me. As for dinner, I don't eat it unless my stomach is like a bear growling. So, pretty much I'm here first thing in the morning and then stay here until I'm so tired I feel like I'm gonna collapse.

  It's just gone past breakfast. I was actually late today because I've been feeling sick lately. I've been getting headaches and stomach aches, I've even gained some weight! I think I may have a stomach bug or something...

  "So, I was thinking... When you wake up, maybe we can go away for a while. You know, like a holiday? We could go anywhere you like. I mean, it's just a thought, but it could be fun," I mumble, playing with Comrade's fingers and picking out the dirt underneath his nails. I don't get a response, but I didn't expect one.

  I sigh and rest my head on his chest, tracing small lines onto his stomach.

  "I miss you," I whisper, tears pricking behind my eyes. Comrade's all I have left. I can't lose him, too.

  A soft knock at the door captures my attention, but I don't bother to look up. It's probably Celina or Aileen.

  "Alex?" True to my word, Celina's soft voice drifts around the room. I sigh through my nose and stop my hand to lay it flat against Comrade's chest. His chest lifts slowly up and down as he takes slow and even breaths, his heart beating steadily.

  "How's he doing?" Celina asks, taking a seat on the other side of the bed. I shrug, mumbling a small 'ok'. Celina nods as she looks back at Comrade. A small frown overtakes her face as she notices his hair.

  "He needs a haircut,” she mutters. I chuckle and nod my head, running my fingers through his long messy hair.

  "Yeah, he does," I agree. It goes silent after that, neither of us really knowing what to say. I don't really mind. I'm happy just to be absorbed in thoughts.

  I suddenly get a pain in my stomach, making me gasp loudly and double over. I groan as I fall to the floor and grip my stomach tightly, feeling the bile rise in my throat. Not again...

  "Alex! Are you ok?" Celina's worried voice asks quickly. I nod as I try to breathe pain, gripping my stomach tighter. The pain passes after a few minutes, making me release a breath I didn't know I was holding. I put a hand to my head as a headache hits me hard. I groan again as a pair of arms lift me up.

  "Ugh, my head!" I grunt. Celina places me back in my chair as the headache continues to pound against my head. I take deep breaths to try and calm my racing heart down.

  "Alex, are you sure you're alright?" Celina asks again. I just wave her off with my free hand, giving her a grunt.

  "This has been happening to me for the past month. I'm fine," I mutter, trying to keep my voice down. I really don't feel like hearing anything loud at the moment.

  Celina frowns at me and crouches down so that she's at my height. I furrow my eyebrows and ask her what she's doing, but she holds up her finger.

  "Alex, answer me truthfully. Have you been feeling pains in your stomach, headaches, tiredness and cravings of random stuff?" she asks, her eyes as serious as I've never seen them before. I blink a few times before slowly nodding my head.

  "Let me guess, you've also gained weight?" she asks again, her eyes never leaving mine. A frown overtakes my face as I nod again. How does she know all this?

  "Yeah, but I've just got a stomach bug. That's all. It's nothing major," I mutter to her. I feel my head loosen up a little bit as my headache slowly starts to disappear.

  Once it's fully gone, I look at Celina again. Something's sparkling in her eyes as she shoots her gold eyes between me and my stomach. I think I need to start worrying about her...

  "You need to come with me, Alex. Right now," Celina says with what sounds like... excitement? A look of utter confusion takes over my face as she yanks me out of my chair. I release a small yelp at the sudden force.

  "What about Comrade?" I ask frantically, glancing back at my comatose mate. I don't want to leave him...

  Celina doesn't answer me as she continues to drag me behind her. All I'm thinking while she's doing this is, what the hell is going on?

  Celina stops once she sees Aileen. Aileen stops whatever she was doing and looks at Celina with the same confused expression as me. Celina just beams at her. She points to me before saying, "We need an ultrasound."

  23

  ALEX

  Say what now?

  Ultrasound? I think I would know if I'm pregnant.

  "An ultrasound, Luna?"Aileen questions incredulously. Celina nods her head furiously as she practically throws me on the bed where everything is barely set up.

  "Celina, I don't think-" I begin, but I'm cut off by Celina holding up a hand. I raise my eyebrows and fall back on the bed with a huff. Fine, if she wants to see an imaginable pup, so be it.

  Aileen quickly gets everything set up, scurrying around me in a haste. I look at Celina with an annoyed expression while she just beams at me.

  "Aileen, if you don't want to-" I start to say, but I'm cut off again! This time, Celina's hand actually covers my mouth as the grin remains stuck to her face.

  "Mmhpphm!" I try to exclaim, but it doesn't really work.

  "Be quiet and don't argue," Celina tries to say sternly, but the grin that's stuck on her face makes her lose the effect. I huff stubbornly and reluctantly nod my head. Celina cautiously removes her hand from my face as Aileen makes her way over to me.

  "Lift up your shirt and we can get started,” she tells me as she flicks on the machine. I sigh and pull my shirt up to my bra line. This is ridiculous! I'm sure I would know if I'm pregnant.

  Aileen squeezes the cold gel onto my stomach, making me wince slightly from the coldness. She doesn't hesitate to place the wand on my stomach and start moving it around. After a while, nothing shows up on the screen. I glance at Celina to see her frowning, the grin that was on her face long gone. I must admit, I do feel a tad disappointed. I've always wanted a nice little family, but I'd rather it be at a different time when Comrade is actually awake.

  "See, Celina, there's nothing there! I'm not pregnant," I tell her as I motion my hand to the screen.

  "Just wait, something might come up,” she mumbles. She leans forward in her seat as Aileen continues to move the w
and around my stomach. I groan and throw my head back on the pillow behind me. This is a waste of my time...

  Just as I'm about to get up and declare that everything was just a big misunderstanding, Aileen stops moving the wand. My breath hitches in my throat as I avert my eyes to the screen. I don't see anything, just something really, really small...

  "Alex, do you know what this is?" Aileen asks, pointing to the really small thing. I shake my head, internally thinking that it's my stomach or something. For the love of everything, I really hope it is my stomach.

  "Alex, that's your pup," Aileen whispers. She enlarges the screen so that I can get a closer look at it. My mouth opens slightly as I sit straight up, not caring if the gel gets all over my shirt. I reach my hand forward and touch the screen towards what Aileen claims is my pup. I bring my hand down and touch my stomach covered by my shirt.

  I'm gonna be a mum. Oh dang...

  "B-but, I can't be a mum! I-I can't do that!" I exclaim, pointing at the screen. My breathing starts to quicken as I feel my chest tighten. A million thoughts race through my head as I think of Comrade and what his reaction would be right now. Would he be happy? Thrilled even? Or would he be disappointed and sad? After all, he's the dad. Then my thoughts travel to my own mum. She was only 20 when she had me, but still, she has three years on me. I can't have a pup while I'm 17! How the hell am I supposed to do that?

  "No, I refuse to believe it," I say, shaking my head vigorously. No way in hell am I pregnant. Comrade and I did it ages ago! It was at least two months ago! I can't deal with this! Not by myself...

  "Alex, you're having a baby. You have the proof, you have to believe it," Celina whispers, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I shake my head as I grip her arms around me. This can't be happening... Not now...