"I'm not ready for a pup, Celina. I won't know what to do with it," I whisper, shutting my eyes tightly.
Celina's soft chuckle fills the air before she starts talking, "First of all, a baby is not an 'it'. Second of all, you won't be by yourself. You'll have Comrade to help you through most of your pregnancy. Third of all, of course you're ready. I wouldn't have been able to take care of the triplets if it wasn't for you. You're gonna make an amazing mother and have an amazing time with your little angel."
I draw in a shaky breath and nod my head, deciding to just come to an agreement with her words. I can't put this off. I just need to treat this like a wound. I need to discover it, tend to it -- which I've officially started -- and then just wait for it to heal. Another seven months and all will be well. Hopefully...
Jeez! Why do werewolves always have pups so early?
I'm currently sitting in Comrade's room. After a trip to get some calming food, aka ice cream, I came straight here. I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna break the news to him. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have this feeling that he can hear what I'm saying to him, but does not do anything about it. Weird, right?
So, here I am, pacing up and down the room and running my hands through my hair. How do you tell your comatose mate that you're pregnant with his pup? You just can't do it!
I sigh as I fall back onto the chair I've started to call mine. I sit in it enough...
I look at Comrade's face, imagining the toothy smile that I love seeing and the sparkle in his eyes when he's up to no good. It seems like whenever something big happens in my life Comrade always does something to himself. Like, seriously. When my mum died, he got captured. Yes, he didn't know me, but still. Then when I found out he was my mate, he was stabbed in the back. Then he has to go and almost die of blood loss and here I am pregnant! Luck is just not on Comrade's side.
"Ok, so... Uh... How do I say this? Well, you see Comrade, I..." I try to say it, but it all just comes out as unfinished sentences. I groan and face palm myself. I can't even imagine what this would be like if Comrade was actually awake... Actually, I can. I would be a stressed out mess, probably hide it from him as long as I can, have him find out, burst out crying because of the stupid hormones, have him calm me and say everything's ok, then live happily ever after with a healthy pup. So why does it seem so hard when he isn't awake?
"Comrade, I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'm pregnant," I rush out. I look at Comrade's closed eyes expecting, wishing, that he would do something. Anything. He doesn't though, not even a twitch of his finger or a change in the beeping of the heart monitor. I fall back into my chair with a sigh.
I place my hand on my stomach, closing my eyes. I'm carrying a being inside of me and my mate doesn't even know it. How in the world is someone supposed to deal with this?
"What am I going to do?" I groan aloud to myself.
A soft knock on the door brings me out of my self-pity. I look up just to see a small head shyly peeks past the door frame.
"Um, hi!” the girl mutters, fully stepping into the room. I instantly recognise her as Kate. I bite my lip as I remember when I accused Comrade of loving her. Geez, that was so long ago...
"It's Kate, right?" I ask, standing up from my chair. Kate nods timidly, her blonde her bouncing with her head. It's funny really. She looks exactly like I did when I was her age with the exception of the hazel eyes, of course.
"Hey, I'm sorry about the other day when I accused you of loving Comrade. I was in a bad mood and hearing him say that, just sort of set me off," I explain, scratching the back of my neck in embarrassment.
To my surprise, a fairy-like giggle travels throughout the room. I look at Kate to see her with her hand over her mouth.
"That's okay. My dad used to act like that with my mum whenever he heard somebody saying they liked her,” she tells me. A smile graces her face, but her eyes show sadness.
"Yeah, my dad used to act like that, too." I chuckle. I run a hand through my hair as I remember one of the times when Dad heard the TV say 'I love you'. He came barging into the room only to discover that Mum and I were watching Disney. It was really funny actually. He got a pink tinge on his cheeks and scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. Mum couldn't stop laughing and neither could I. Those were fun and less complicated times.
"Well, uh... Do you want to speak to Comrade? I'm sure he's been dying to hear from you," I say, sending her a cheeky smile. Kate beams at me and furiously nods her head, blonde hair bouncing everywhere.
"I'll leave you to it then," I tell her. I sidestep her as I make my way out of the door and close it behind me. Kate seems like a nice kid, she's got that nice personality in her. Plus, she was there with Comrade when he had nobody else. I thank her for that.
I slowly walk through the halls of the medic station with my head down. I wonder when Comrade will actually wake up... I mean, he's been out of it for two months. Two whole months. The only thing keeping me from not joining him is the fact that he might actually wake up. I mean, if he had died in that surgery two months ago... I don't think my heart would've been able to take it. That's the down side about having a mate, you can't live without them. They can be a blessing and a curse.
Aileen told me a while back that if he doesn't wake up in six months, she's gotta cut the life support. When she first told me, I practically lunged at her in anger. I eventually calmed down with the help of Axel and Celina, but the news is still infuriating. I went on a total rampage in Comrade's room. I vented everything out of me, including my dad's death. He was the only one I could talk to, but he was the only one who wouldn't say anything back.
Celina's come to visit him a few times. She looks like a mess, probably like me. After all, she's been juggling the triplets, her Luna duties, and coming to see Comrade. Who knows, she probably has to keep Axel from going on a few rampages at one point. I don't know. Celina's an amazing Luna though, and I know why Comrade became instant friends with her. I'm still a bit confused on the whole guardian thing, but I don't think I'll ever have to get used to that.
I haven't seen Ally or Taylor in what feels like forever. The other day was the first time I had actually seen them in what must have been a month!
"Oi! Where do you think you're going?" I hear an all too familiar voice call from behind me. My hands are frozen on the door handle of Comrade’s and my room. Comrade...
"Hello! Earth to Alex!" the voice calls again before a hand starts waving in front of my face. I blink and take a step back, spinning around to find the culprit. I'm met with chocolate brown eyes. Taylor.
"I haven't seen you in ages!" I exclaim, practically jumping on her as I wrap my arms around her. Taylor laughs and wraps her arms around me as I bury my face in her shoulder.
"Jeez, I missed you," I mumble, pulling my head back with a smile. With everything that's been going on, I completely forgot about Taylor and Ally. Speaking of Ally...
I'm suddenly tackled to the ground from the side. I squeal as the vision of an afro enters my sight. Think of the afro queen and she shall appear.
"Holy hell, Ally! You couldn't have said hello normally?" I wheeze. I try to push her off me as she chuckles. She obliges with my wishes, sitting Indian style across from me with a big grin across her face.
"So?" she questions eagerly. I raise an eyebrow at her as Taylor takes a seat next to her. We must look really weird sitting in the middle of the hallway, but I could care less right now. This is the most human contact I've had in a long time. I'm glad it's with my two girls.
"So what?" I question back, my eyes darting between Taylor's chocolate brown eyes and Ally's nearly black ones.
"So, was it good?" Ally questions again, both her eyebrows rising at the question. My confusion must have shown on my face because they both rolled their eyes at me.
"I swear this girl is oblivious," I hear Taylor mumbles under her breath. I smirk at her, totally knowing that she's right. I'm oblivious to a lot of things and this seems like one
of them.
"What was it like to mate!" Ally yells, her eyes going wide. My eyes also widen as I slap my hand over her mouth. Taylor laughs at my shocked face, rolling onto her back as she laughs. I glance around the hallway to make sure nobody heard Ally say what I think she just said.
"I do not believe you just asked that," I grumble. I slam my free hand onto my forehead as I feel a headache coming. I swear these two are special in the head.
"Wef, ohelwhuffhuppund!" Ally tries to say through my hand, but it comes out muffled. I groan and stand from the floor, Taylor and Ally's eyes following me with caution. I open my bedroom door and motion them in with my hand. They squeal like the school girls they are at heart, making me laugh.
This is gonna be an interesting conversation...
That conversation consisted of many, many things that made me blush and hide my face in my pillow. They wanted to know everything! When I say everything, I literally mean everything. I should really talk to them again some time, I miss them. They didn't ask me anything about Comrade or how I'm feeling or anything of that. They just made me laugh and forget about everything else. I love those girls like sisters and I hope I never lose them.
Through all my thinking, I didn't notice that I was in the kitchen until somebody cleared their throat. My eyes snap up to the person who is lazily leaning against the fridge with a half smirk on his face. Callum.
"Alex, haven't seen you in a while,” he says, sounding genuinely interested in me. I shrug and walk past him to the pantry.
"I could say the same for you, Beta," I mumble back. I honestly can't remember the last time I saw Callum. Was it before the war? No... Maybe afterwards? Ugh, I don't know. Maybe he was there when Comrade was having surgery and I didn't even notice.
Callum's chuckle rings through the kitchen before he tells me, "Alex, you don't have to call me 'beta'. You can call me Callum, like you call Celina, Celina."
I half grin, mainly for two reasons. The first reason being that I don't have to address my beta formally and the second reason is that I found a bag of honey and soy chicken chips.
"Well then, try getting the alpha to agree to me calling him Axel," I say with some humor as I grab the chip bag and rip it open, popping a chip in my mouth. Callum grins and shakes his head.
"I don't think that'll be possible,” he tells me with a grin matching my own. We both let out a laugh, the happiness only lasting a few seconds.
"Callum?" I question, a sudden thought coming to my head. Callum raises his eyebrows and motions for me to continue. "Have you found your mate yet?"
I regret it as soon as the question leaves my mouth. The sadness that coats Callum's eyes is obvious. Callum clears his throat before saying, "Uh, no. I haven't found my mate yet."
"Oh!” is all I say, suddenly feeling very awkward. It stays silent for a long while and I really have no clue what to do. Callum seems to be standing there with a far off look in his eye, most likely thinking about his wannabe mate.
"Callum, I'm sorry. That was way out of line," I mumble my apology, looking down with guilt consuming me. To my surprise, Callum chuckles. I peer at him curiously to see a smile on his face.
"It's no problem, Alex. It's a reasonable question. After all, I'm a beta at 23 who should have met his mate ages ago. I'm sure she'll pop up soon enough though,” he tells me with the same smile. I smile back at him. I step closer and hold up my fist. Callum laughs at me for a moment before bumping his fist to my own. He then tries to steal the packet of chips from me, but I quickly move away to the other side of the counter. I stick my tongue out at him as he rolls his eyes with a grin.
"I'm a ninja master, Callum. You'll never get my chips," I tell him in a fake sensei type voice as I pop a chip in my mouth.
He raises his eyebrow again – he seems to do that a lot – and mutters a 'whatever'.
With the tense atmosphere gone, I decide to go for a general topic. "So, I'm pregnant."
My eyes widen and I slap the hand that's not holding my chips over my mouth. Great, Alex, well done! That was so a general topic! Why not go to the top of a freaking mountain and scream it to the world? Hey, world! I'm pregnant!
"W-what?" Callum asks astonished.
"I, uh... I said that I'm... an eggplant!" I exclaim. Callum's astonished look becomes one of confusion. He opens his mouth to say something, but I quickly beat him to it, "Anyway! Got to go! Bye!"
I rush out the kitchen faster than you can say bubblegum and head straight back to the medic station. I don't believe I just said all that! Eggplant? Really? That's the best thing I could come up with? I couldn't have said legend or something cool? For goodness sakes, Alex! Get your crap together! I'm blaming the pregnancy hormones.
24
ALEX
"Lilly! What do you think you're doing?" I scream as I see my five-year-old climbing a tree. I rush over to her as her glorious giggle fills the air.
"I wanna touch the clouds, mummy!" she screams back down at me. Her wild blonde hair sways around her as her dark eyes look down at me innocently.
"Lilly! Get down here right now!" I yell again. I'm beyond furious and beyond reason as I see my darling daughter wobble a little before balancing again.
"Lilly!" I scream again.
"Alex! What the hell are you yelling so loudly for? We'll get another complaint from the neighbors!" an all too familiar voice yells from the house. I spin around to see Comrade standing there with a pissed off look on his face. I glower at him.
"Well, Comrade dearest, why don't you look up in the tree and see why I'm yelling so loudly?" I say sweetly, a sickly sweet smile gracing my lips.
Comrade looks confused for a moment before he peers towards the tree, his face instantly going pale.
"Lilly! You get down the tree this instant or you're going to have a very sore backside!" Comrade yells, his fury showing on his face.
"But daddy!" Lilly drawls out, a pout resting on her lips. "I wanna touch the clouds!"
"I don't give a rat’s as- whisker if you wanna touch the clouds! You get yourself down here this instant!" he screams, his voice going much louder than mine. Lilly whimpers and pouts before slowly making her way towards the tree trunk.
"I just wanted to touch the clouds," I hear her grumble at which I roll my eyes. Five-year-olds these days.
The thought instantly leaves my mind though as I see Lilly's foot misses the branch underneath her. Her tiny body comes barreling down through the leaves and branches, her scream filling the air with mine.
"Lilly!"
I wake up with a start. Partly from the dream, but also from the pain in my stomach. I grip the side of Comrade's bed as I take a deep breath in and let it slowly out. Holy hell this hurts! The pain subsides after a while and I let out a sigh.
I look towards the window to see the moon high in the sky and stars coating the darkness like tiny diamonds. I smile at the sight.
I place my hand on my stomach and think back to my dream. Lilly... I like that name. Her innocence really suits it. I wonder if the dream was a sign? I mean, what if it's the future for Comrade and me? He'll be awake! I beam at the thought.
Of course, I don't allow my brain to believe my thoughts are false hope.
After staring at the sky for a while, I slowly fall back to sleep, my hand gripping Comrade's tightly.
"Alex? Alex, wake up,” a small voice rings in my ear.
"Mmm, five more minutes," I mumble, turning my head away from the giggling now filing the room.
"Alex, get your lazy ass out of that chair before I make you,” another voice says. I turn my head back around to see Taylor and Ally standing there looking at me with massive grins. I groan.
"Come on, guys, let the lady sleep," I mumble, burying my face in the bed sheets.
"How about no? We wanna know about some news..." Taylor trails off. I groan again. The baby. That's right, I'm pregnant.
"I really don't want to talk about it, guys..." I mutter, closing my eyes again. Next thing I kno
w, my chair is being scraped away from Comrade's bed and the two eager faces of Taylor and Ally fill my vision.
"Well, miss grumpy pants, we want info. So spill!" Ally squeals excitedly. I sigh, knowing I won't be able to dodge their pleas for very long.
"Fine, fine. I don't really know anything honestly. I'm two months along, I don't know if it's a boy or girl and I have no clue if Comrade's gonna wake up to see his baby," I explain, giving them all the info that they need to know. A tense silence fills the room after that.
"You know, Alex, there's no point thinking that way. He will wake up and when he does, he will be ecstatic to know that you're pregnant with his pup," Taylor tells me as she gives me a sideways hug, Ally joining in.
After that, Taylor, Ally and I just talk about everything and anything that comes to mind. It's actually really nice to just be able to talk to them like this again. I haven't done it for a while.
"Well, we better get going. You look like you're about to pass out! Get some sleep!" Ally scolds me with a grin. I laugh a bit at that and nod my head. I'll probably just fall asleep here anyway.
I say goodbye to Taylor and Ally as they both walk out of Comrade's door. I smile down at Comrade and brush his hair away from his eyes. He'll be happy about all this... Hopefully.
"Alex? Alex, come on, dear! It's time to get up now,” a soft voice says lightly in my ear as they start to shake me. I hum for a moment before opening my eyes and looking up at Aileen.
"Come on, Alex! It's time for your check up,” she tells me with a smile. I nod my head and yawn, my brain still half asleep.
"Mmm, ok," I mindlessly mumble back as an answer. Aileen chuckles lightly at me as she helps me up. In my tired state, I miss the way she frowns at my stomach and the slight worry that now shines in her eyes.
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