by TJ Klune
But why.
I can hear your questions
I can hear your dreams
You are jumbled
You are confused
But then, you are human, after all
Such a conflicting mixture you all are
Even the wizards cannot escape the entrapment of human fallacies
Ryan’s hand tightened in mine, and I knew he was feeling something—as was probably Kevin—but I didn’t think he could make out their words like I could. I didn’t know if he ever would. A cornerstone was a treasured thing, but it wasn’t necessarily powerful. He was connected to the dragons through me. I didn’t think it was possible for him to do it on his own.
We have answers, though few they may be
And we will give them to you
But first
We must show you what we are
So that you may see us as we have seen you
You have such power within you
But it’s unwieldy
Unrestrained
It has the potential to consume you
Your cornerstone will help you
But he cannot do it on his own
There are great risks ahead for you
A burden unlike anything the world has ever seen
We can help you carry it
But it will cost you
“Of course it will,” I muttered. “Because everything comes with a price.”
“It must,” Pat said simply, eyes flaring blue.
“It is the way of things,” Leslie said, eyes matching her mate’s.
I thought my own were doing the same, and from the look of wonder on Ryan’s face as he watched me, I was right. I felt them, the two dragons, much like I had with Zero. They were twin pulses in my head and heart, and though they were distinct from each other, they belonged together. One without the other wouldn’t carry the power they had when they were together.
“What can you do?” I asked.
It was Leslie who answered first. She leaned forward, neck stretching toward me. Her eyes were the color of the blue in her feathers—like a summer sky—and the plumage atop her head stood straight up, like a beautiful crown. The feathers rattled gently, whispering as they rubbed together, the barbs and hooklets sounding like bones.
“You know what we can do,” she said.
Pat too leaned forward, her feathers making the same rattling noise, and for a moment I thought the colors of the world began to bleed around us, running down like wet paint. I thought I was tipping—or slipping—into something… else, but everything snapped back into focus before I could follow it further.
“Dreamwalkers,” I whispered, and Ryan squeezed my hand tightly.
“Yes,” Leslie said. She might have been the smallest dragon present, but she was still very large, her head almost as long as my entire body. I tried not to flinch as her snout pressed against my chest. The feathers shook as she closed her eyes, and the heat from the breath in her exhalation warmed my skin through my thick coat, and I was—
standing at the edge of a cliff, Ryan falling behind me, blue eyes staring at me from out in the forest, and they were calling for me to
—breathing, breathing, breathing, and Ryan said, “That’s enough.”
Leslie pulled away, rubbing her face along Pat’s neck.
“You pulled us there,” I said, voice shaking. “Ryan and me.”
“We did,” Pat said.
Ryan took a step closer to me so that his shoulder was pressed against mine, our hands clasped between us. “It’s why we got here so fast. After you threw me off a cliff—”
“Yeah,” I said. “I feel real bad about that. No need to keep bringing it up, babe. Also? Just a dream.”
He scowled at me. “After you threw me off a cliff, I woke up in our camp in Tarker Mills and knew we had to get here as quickly as possible. I didn’t know what was going on, but you said it was real, and I believed you.”
“That’s because you love me.”
“Possibly.”
“I’ll still take it.”
His lips twitched like he was fighting a smile.
“Quite,” Pat said. “Though, we witnessed things we did not expect.”
“A lot of kissing,” Leslie cooed. “It was adorable.”
“So,” I said slowly, “you essentially just watched us make out. Lady-dudes. What the hell.”
Ryan stiffened beside me. “Maybe not insult the dragons.”
“What? They were the ones getting their voyeurism kink on!”
“Is he always like this?” Pat asked.
“Mostly,” Randall muttered.
“Only sometimes,” I corrected. “But you gotta admit that’s… not something I was expecting. It felt real.”
“It was real,” Pat said, glowing eyes blinking rapidly. “For all intents and purposes, you were corporeal. Your body and soul were split between two planes. If one had entered your room, they would have found you asleep on your bed, body warm, breathing slowed. But your spirit was elsewhere. And the spirit is just as real as the body that stands before me.”
“Always so serious,” Leslie said fondly. “Dear, must you make it sound so ominous?”
“I am stressing the point,” Pat said.
“Consider it stressed,” Leslie said, pressing her snout against Pat’s neck.
“But it wasn’t like….” I paused, considering.
Both dragons looked at me again. “Wasn’t like what?” Pat asked.
“Vadoma,” I said slowly. “My—my grandmother. She… the edges always felt… blurred. When she showed me what she did. Like I was lost in the dream. With you, I knew I was dreaming, but it was… I could feel the forest around me. Ryan against me. It—why was it different?”
“Because a dragon’s magic is different than that of a human,” Pat said. “This… Vadoma should not be dabbling in dreamwalking. A human soul cannot control what is shown to another.”
“So she could be mistaken?” I breathed.
I felt Randall’s gaze upon me, but I didn’t dare to turn around and look at him.
Leslie pulled away, but only just, remaining at eye level with me. And I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why, but right then, it was clear that she knew.
I almost took a step back. Somehow I stayed where I was.
I was proven right only a moment later.
I see what is in your heart, she said, eyes gleaming.
I know what you are capable of
I know your thoughts, your desires
But you cannot give in to the desire
If one has a power, it is not a given right that it should be used
There is temptation
There will always be temptation
Sometimes the true power is not to give in to it
Her gaze flickered between Ryan and me before she pulled away completely.
“All right?” Ryan asked me, squeezing my hand.
I smiled faintly at him, mind reeling. “All right.” I sounded gut-punched. I hoped everyone would chalk it up to the show of the dragon’s power rather than anything else. I needed to think about this. It was more information than I expected to get.
“We need to get your arm seen to,” he said. “The rest of this can wait until tomorrow.”
I winced. “That’s going to suck.”
“Probably. But it’ll be even worse to keep it as it is. I’ve dislocated my shoulder a few times. Trust me when I say it’ll feel better once it’s set.”
“You don’t need to try and impress me. You’ve already got me.”
“What? I wasn’t trying to—oh shut up, Sam.”
“Dude,” I said, grinning at him. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He rolled his eyes, but his hand tightened in mine.
But before Ryan could pull me away, something happened that I did not expect.
Pat said, “Wizard, it is an honor to stand before you again, especially to see you still healthy and whole.”
&nb
sp; And Randall said, “The honor is mine,” as he bowed low.
I narrowed my eyes. “You know him? And what do you mean healthy?”
Randall sighed.
Leslie blinked. “But of course. He is Randall of Dragons.”
“He served the Master,” Pat said.
“The Master,” I repeated.
“The one you know as the Great White,” Pat said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
“Oooh,” Gary said. “Twist. Draaaamaaaaa.”
I turned slowly toward Randall, who looked particularly grumpy. “Randall,” I said as evenly as possible. “Another secret? I thought we were past all of that.”
Randall smiled sweetly at me. He glanced between Ryan and me, and even before he opened his mouth, I knew what he was going to say. “Speaking of secrets, Sam, isn’t it time you share a few of your own with your friends? I should think they would be very interested to know what it is you’ve seen while they seemingly stood by your side.”
I gaped at him.
He arched an eyebrow at me.
“What’s happening?” Tiggy whispered to Gary.
“I think we’re about to get some revelations all up in this bitch,” Gary whispered back. “And if the look on Sam’s face is indicative of anything, this is going to be amazing. And probably cause unnecessary angst that will cause a division between our heroes. I am excited.”
“Sam?” Ryan asked. “What’s Randall talking about?”
Chapter 14: The Truth
I WAS right. Having your shoulder reset sucked. Especially when my bitch-ass motherfucker of a knight told me he’d count to three and then instead jerked my arm on one, snapping it back into its socket. I screamed, but the relief was almost immediate. I blinked away the burn in my eyes, wincing at the twinges that went up and down my arm.
“I hate you so much right now,” I mumbled, grimacing as he slid my arm through a quickly fashioned sling.
“Somehow, I think you don’t,” he said mildly. “I wonder why that is. You’ll need to keep this on for a couple of weeks.”
I frowned. “But this is my hand-job hand.”
He snorted. “I’m sure you’ll survive.”
“Yes, but will you? I mean, your hands still work, so you’ll be able to touch my penis—”
“Why are you the way you are?”
“—but I won’t be able to touch your penis.”
“You do have a mouth.”
“Whoa,” I said, impressed. “That escalated quickly.”
He shrugged, tying off the sling. “I do what I can.”
“I bet you do. C’mere, let me show you how thankful I am—”
“As fascinating as this is,” Gary said, “and trust me when I say that hearing your banter again is literally the highlight of my day, can we please get to the secrets thing? Because ever since I decided on a trial reconciliation with my ex-husband, there has been a distinct lack of drama in my life.”
We were in my bedroom in Castle Freesias. Tiggy sat against the door, Gary positioned daintily in his lap. Kevin had insisted on staying with Pat and Leslie, eyeing them curiously, saying he had so many questions on the mechanics of lesbian sex. I reminded him that if he offended the feathered dragons, it ran the risk of ruining my supposed destiny and destroying the world as we knew it. Kevin assured me that he wouldn’t even dream of such a thing, then proceeded to ask Pat if they raised tails and just backed up into each other. Tiggy had to hold me back from launching myself at him. Randall assured me he’d keep an eye on them, but since he was at the top of my shit list, I mostly just glared at him.
Justin was leaning against the wall, arms across his chest, a look of bland indifference on his face. I knew it was contrived and that he was just as excited to be in my presence again as I was to be in his. That’s what best friends 5eva did for each other. As soon as everyone else was distracted, he’d probably want to do our secret handshake just so our bro-bond would be reaffirmed. I could hardly wait.
As I sat on the bed, Ryan stood at my side, fiddling with the sling even though it was fine. I didn’t mind the touch. I didn’t know how pissed off he was going to be after I spilled everything, so this might be the last time he would even want to be near me for a while.
So I did what I did best: I deflected. “How was the trip?” I asked brightly. “Did you guys have the most fun of your lives?” I frowned. “Well, maybe not the most fun, seeing as how I wasn’t there.” I frowned harder. “In fact, I assume the walk to Castle Freeze Your Ass Off was dreary and sad and that you all spent nights around the fire talking about how much you missed me and trading your favorite Sam stories.”
“We maybe mentioned you three times altogether,” Gary said. “Now, don’t make me get up from my comfortable position to kick your ass. You will spill your secrets, Sam of Wilds, and then we will have a long and involved conversation about how you think it’s okay to ever keep anything from me. There is a chance I’m going to get my glitter on while it’s occurring, just so you know. I would tell you not to be scared, but you should be.” He narrowed his eyes, nostrils flaring. “You should be.”
“Eep,” I squeaked.
“Oh please,” Justin said, rolling his eyes. “Do you really think Sam of all people has any secrets worth merit? I mean, come on. Look at him.”
Everyone looked at me. I waved awkwardly at them.
“Good point,” Gary said. “But still.”
“So,” I said. “How about them dragons, huh? Did you ever see anything so—”
“Deflecting,” Tiggy said.
“Traitor! The taste of your betrayal is bittersweet indeed!”
Ryan moved until he was in front of me, blocking the others from my sight. He reached down and put a couple of fingers on my chin, tilting my head up until I looked at him. “So much beard,” I breathed. “I want to feel it on my—”
“We’ll get to it soon,” he said, and I really liked the sound of that. “You look tired, though.”
I shrugged, averting my eyes.
“Sam,” he chided gently.
“It’s not—look. I just haven’t been sleeping too well lately. That happens when you hear dragon voices in your head.”
He gripped my chin, and I sighed, knowing I wasn’t going to talk my way out of this one. I had this coming to me. I had raged against Morgan and Randall for keeping secrets from me. And here I was, having done the same thing to my friends. I couldn’t even argue that I’d done what I’d thought was right, given how I’d scoffed at Randall and Morgan. Finding out you’re a hypocrite sucks balls.
“Have they calmed now?” he asked me as I looked back at him. His expression was open, worried yet fond. “You have them here.”
I shrugged. “Mostly. We haven’t… bonded, or whatever it is I’ve done with the other two. There hasn’t been time, as I’m sure you saw, what with the whole sliding down the side of a mountain on a sand sailboard while they chased after me.”
Ryan’s jaw tightened. “Thank the gods you had that contraption with you. I’d hate to think what would have happened if Ruv hadn’t had the foresight to sneak it into your pack.”
“Right? It’s like he knew something like this was going to happen. I’ll have to find some way to thank him—and wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you grind your teeth that hard before.”
“You can send him a short letter,” Ryan said, jaw tense. “That should suffice. Only needs to be one or two lines at most. Maybe even just a postcard. You know what? I don’t think you need to send anything at all. He probably didn’t even mean to do it. In fact, he probably was trying to sabotage our mission somehow.”
“By giving me his sand sailboard?” I asked, confused.
Ryan nodded. “Exactly. That’s exactly it. He should probably be charged with treason.” Ryan looked over his shoulder at Justin. “When we get back to Castle Lockes, I will need to petition you and your father to reinstate beheadings. We have a traitor in our midst who would see Sam’s desti
ny fail.”
“Gods, you both are so pathetic,” Justin muttered. “Leave me out of your twisted relationship.”
“We’re not going to behead him,” I said as Ryan turned back toward me. “He’s nice.”
“Nice,” Ryan repeated as if it was the worst thing he’d ever heard. “Nice.”
“Oh, girl,” Gary breathed. “You do not say another man is nice when your man is standing in front of you trying to be your man. Have I taught you nothing?”
“Is this really what we should be talking about?” Justin asked. “Because it would seem to me there might be one or two more important things than this asinine frivolity.”
“Ooh,” I said. “Word porn. That’s—”
“Sam,” he snapped. “As your Prince, I demand that you speak now on whatever Randall was alluding to. If you insist on continuing on as you are, I will have no choice but to make sure you poop in a bucket for the rest of your life. Do we understand each other?”
“I just got so turned-on,” Gary whispered to Tiggy. “Sorry about that.”
“It okay,” Tiggy said stroking Gary’s mane. “I used to it.”
Godsdammit. This wasn’t going to be pretty. I took a deep breath and let it out slow. “Okay,” I said. “But… just. You have to let me get this all out. No interruptions, okay?” I glanced at Ryan before looking away. “It’ll be easier if I say it all at once.”
Even Justin seemed a little worried. “Sam, it’s—”
I shook my head. “I did what I did for a reason.” I swallowed thickly. “Please remember that. I… care about all of you more than you could ever know. And all I wanted to do was keep you safe.”
Ryan’s hand was on my good shoulder, squeezing tightly.
I closed my eyes.
I started with the bird because it seemed to be the easiest of all the secrets I carried upon my shoulders. It brought a sharp inhale from Gary, as he understood just how powerful that magic was.
I told them of my vision of the Great White, who I had thought was a mountain before it had begun to move. The Great White had warned me, in that voice that sounded as if it’d come from the earth itself, that I was not ready. For what, I didn’t quite understand. Granted, I hadn’t yet faced Zero, Pat, or Leslie at that point, but still.