The Guild of Fallen Clowns

by Francis Xavier

  Father Harris nodded as he looked into Alan’s eyes. “Follow me, Alan.” Father Harris turned and walked to the confessional booth at the back corner of the church. Alan followed from a distance. Without looking back, the priest opened the door to one side and motioned Alan to enter the adjoining chamber.

  Alan hesitated, then opened the door and leaned his head inside. “Father—I didn’t come here for confession. I’m not prepared.”

  “Please sit and close the door behind you, Alan.”

  “Yes, Father,” he replied. His early years of conditioning left him no other options. He sat on the tiny wooden shelf of a seat and closed the door.

  “What brings you here, Alan?”

  Alan wasn’t sure how to respond. The last time he was in a confessional, it was the confessor’s responsibility to start the process. “Uh, forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been—”

  “No, Alan, I didn’t bring you in here for that. I brought you here because I could sense that whatever is bothering you is too uncomfortable to talk about. I thought it might be easier for you to talk in a more—private and anonymous setting.”

  “Oh, right, but you know it’s me.”

  “True,” Father Harris replied. “I’ve known you your entire life. After your father died, you and your brother, Dale, needed a father figure. You boys were always into something and I tried to keep you on the straight and narrow by acting as a surrogate disciplinarian. I must admit that I may have been a bit too hard on you boys at times. It saddens me when I look in your eyes. In them I see your image of me and it hurts. I can’t blame you for leaving the Church, but now that you’ve come back, I don’t want to frighten you away again. In here, you don’t have to see my mean old mug. I sincerely hope this panel between us will allow you to speak more openly. You are not a child anymore, Alan. And I can assure you, you have no reason to fear me.”

  “I never feared you, Father Harris. Well, maybe a little, but I’ve always had the utmost respect for you.”

  “Thank you, Alan. That means a lot to me. Now let’s see if this plan will work. After last Sunday’s mass, you appeared to be deeply troubled by something. Today you appear more distressed. How can I help you?”

  Alan thought about the priest’s question. He couldn’t begin to explain what had been happening to him, let alone ask for his help. How could anyone help in this situation?

  “I don’t think you can help me, Father. I’ve already tried taking your advice, but it doesn’t feel right.”

  “Fear not, believe only?” Father Harris said.

  “Yes, I thought I was getting over my fears. I believed God was showing me how to be a better person and how I can help others, but—” Alan didn’t know how to finish his sentence. He believed that with the help of Peepers, and the Guild, he was helping people like Dave, Lyle, and Cheryl. Then there were the ancillary beneficiaries of their help. Dale and the twins would be able to enjoy going out as a family with Cheryl. Paula would have her husband back. Debbie wouldn’t have to fear Dave’s abuse. And Alan himself would be safe from Lyle. His only real question at this point had to do with Peepers. Was Peepers helping him, or just using him?

  “But what?” Father Harris said.

  “But—something just isn’t right. I feel like my trust is being misplaced. Is it selfish of me to run away out of fear when I might be able to help lost souls?”

  “First of all, Alan, I’m going to assume you’re talking about troubled people because only God can help lost souls.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I meant, people with problems.” He was quick to cover for his poorly chosen word choice. However, there was something profound in the priest’s reply. Only God can help lost souls. If this were true, his involvement with the Guild would have no impact on their desire to find atonement for their earthly sins. Peepers would know this.

  “I thought so,” Father Harris said. “Listen, Alan, this is what ‘Fear not, believe only’ means to me. Without knowing the details of your situation, I’m hearing you say that your heart is telling you one thing, but your head is saying something else. Personally, I’m a huge believer in my heart. I view it as my sixth sense, or my soul’s point of view. If I listened to my head, I would have found another profession. The ability to believe comes from the soul. If you ignore it for too long, you risk becoming one of those lost souls.”

  “The ability to believe comes from the soul,” Alan repeated under his breath.

  “Yes, that’s how I see it,” the priest replied. “Huh, that’s interesting.”

  “Interesting?” Alan replied.

  “The last time I remember explaining it that way was to your father, many years ago.”

  “My father? Why would he need to hear that?”

  “Oh, you know that’s not how it works in here, Alan. Let’s just say you aren’t that different from him. The two of you share in your guarded nature. He also spoke in generalities. And, like you, he always kept a tight hold on the specifics of what troubled him. With your father, I assumed it was due to his FBI training. Even in here, he faithfully upheld his pledge and wouldn’t discuss the details of his cases. But now—I’m starting to wonder if it was genetic. Either that, or you’re working undercover for the government.”

  “It must be genetic, Father. I could never be a cop.” Alan began to stand. “Thank you, Father Harris. You’ve been very helpful.”

  “Leaving so soon? I feel like we were just getting started.”

  “Believe me, Father; you’ve given me a lot to think about. Right now, my heart is telling me what I must do.”

  “Go in peace, my son.”

  *****

  The Friday afternoon crowd at the carnival was thin. Inside the ticket booth, Cracky enjoyed a smoke as he waited for the next customer. Alan wanted to be sure the Labyrinth was unlocked for his visit with Peepers so he stopped at Cracky’s ticket booth. He stepped up and Cracky blew his last puff out the cracked open door and concealed his cigarette.

  “Hi, Cracky, I’m back.”

  “Oh, uh, hey, buddy. How many?” Cracky replied as he prepared to dispense tickets.

  Alan realized Cracky didn’t recognize him in plain clothes and without his Boogy face paint.

  “It’s me, Boogy.”

  Cracky squinted and leaned in for a closer look. “Boogy?”

  “Yeah, actually it’s Alan, but yes, it’s me.”

  “Wow, it is you. I thought you wuz older and uglier. What brings you back, Boog? Did ya come back for fun now dat you ain’t working no more?”

  “Actually, no, but I will be coming back for that tomorrow night. I came back to see Geno.”

  Cracky’s head tilted like a confused puppy. “Geno?”

  “Yes. I never got the chance to thank him for recommending me for the job. I thought I’d stop by and do that before you guys pack things up and leave next week. Is he in the Labyrinth?”

  “Yeah, he’s in there, but today might not be good for dat. He’s in one of his moods since we closed him down dis morning. He’s startin’ to remind me of his old man.”

  “His father?”

  “Yeah, I was just a kid myself, but story has it, Geno’s daddy was a psychopathic murderer. He left a trail of victims in every town da carnival passed through. It’s a good thing dey finally caught up wid him before he started targeting us carnies.”

  “Is he in prison?”

  “Better—he’s dead!”

  “Dead? Wow, that had to be hard on Geno. Do you really think he’s capable of doing the same thing?”

  “I don’t know what ta think, Boog. I’m just saying he’s been acting stranger den usual lately. I’m sure he’ll be back to normal when da Labyrinth reopens in Monroe.” Cracky paused. “You know what, I’m probably overreacting. I shouldn’t have said nothin’. I wouldn’t like it if people judged me on some of da things my old man did. Forget I said anything, Boog. Just watch your back. Oh, shit, there I go again. Hey, I got a customer headin’ dis way. Sto
p by to see me tomorrow night.” Cracky looked past Alan to the approaching customer.

  Alan stepped aside. “Okay, Cracky. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  *****

  Inside the Labyrinth, Alan found Geno standing on a ladder, stretching black fabric across the ceiling.

  “Geno, do you need a hand with that?”

  The ladder wobbled from the tension Geno had on the material. He glanced down at Alan and smiled. “Sure, can you hold the ladder steady while I staple this up?”

  Alan rushed over to secure the ladder.

  “Didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” Geno said as he pressed five staples through the fabric and into the wooden framework above.

  “Me either, but I’ve been thinking a lot, and there’s something I need to discuss with Peepers.”

  Geno lowered his hand with the stapler and looked down at Alan. Without saying a word, he smiled and nodded knowingly. Alan released his grip on the ladder as Geno stepped down and folded it closed. He tucked it under his left arm, leaned forward, and whispered. “Good luck,” before exiting the chamber.

  Alan stood alone in the room. He wondered why Cracky felt the need to warn him of meeting with Geno. This was the most comfortable he’d ever felt with him. As the only two humans connected to Peepers, he felt like they shared a bond. And after Geno’s warning earlier that day, he realized that he wasn’t alone in his concerns about Peepers and the Guild. Cracky’s observations must have been of a scared Geno, not a psychotic one.

  The lights dimmed. Alan took a deep breath, rolled the kinks from his neck, and locked his eyes on the mirror in front of him. He was ready to face Peepers.

  Peepers’ voice came from behind him, catching him off guard. “Where are my sculptures?”

  Alan spun around to see Peepers inside the mirror. His face was without expression.

  “Your sculptures? I didn’t come here for that. Besides, I told you I wasn’t ready to make more.”

  “Alan is right. We did make agreement. Alan will help Peepers—soon.”

  “Well, uh, that’s kinda why I’m here.”

  “Oh, Alan now ready? Soon is today?” Peepers said.

  “Actually, no, that’s not it. I’ve decided to get out. I’m not going to make any more figures.”

  A look of rage filled Peepers’ face. His image shook violently. Ripples formed around him and swallowed him completely. With his image gone, the ripples smoothed, returning the panel to a smooth mirror finish. The display was shocking, but Alan felt a huge sense of relief, and calm, as he realized he did it. He said no to Peepers and severed his ties with the spirit. He shook out his last nerves and looked up to the ceiling in anticipation of the brightening lights.

  The lights didn’t return. From behind, Peepers spoke. “Peepers help Alan from his fears. Spanky help Alan with Lyle. Agor help Alan’s family. Now Alan refuse to help us?”

  Alan casually turned to face Peepers. “Yes, it’s true that you may have helped me, Peepers. But I’m not comfortable with any of this. I talked to Father Harris and he told me that only God has the ability to help lost souls. I can’t be— and shouldn’t be—trying to help you and the Guild. You need to take that up with God, not me.”

  Peepers snarled. “Father knows nothing of Peepers’ soul. Alan cannot listen to the deception and hypocrisy of petulant priest.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I trust Father Harris and I’m not going to change my mind.”

  Peepers stared into Alan’s eyes as he considered his response. “Peepers wrong about Alan. We thought Alan was a man of honor. We grabbed hands and agreed to help each other. We help Alan, but now he is done, refuse to help us. Is Alan man of his word?”

  Peepers was right. Alan had agreed to help as long as it was in his own time. If he backed out now or anytime in the future, he wouldn’t be true to his word. He was of the belief that a man is nothing if he can’t be trusted. How could he live with himself, knowing he breached their agreement?

  As he struggled to find a way out of his dilemma, another figure appeared in the mirror behind Peepers. It was Poppy, the same clown that appeared in an earlier meeting with Peepers. As before, Poppy looked frightened. He shook his head and mouthed the word “No.” Also, as with his previous sighting of Poppy, a dozen clown-gloved hands reached around his body. Before they pulled him back to the darkness of the mirrors, Poppy’s face transformed into that of Alan’s father, shaking his head from side to side with his right hand covered over his visibly thumping heart.

  With Poppy’s and his father’s faces gone, Alan abandoned all thoughts of retaining his integrity with respect to his agreement with Peepers.

  “Yes, I am a man of my word, Peepers. And I’ll honor our agreement by praying for mercy on your soul. You and I know this is the only way I can help you. You may not like my decision, but I have to follow my heart.” Alan stood erect and resolute in his declaration.

  Instead of the anticipated volatile response from Peepers, the dark spirit stood eerily calm. He let out a disappointed sigh and relaxed his stance. “Very well, but know this. Alan’s spirit forever tied to Peepers and the Guild. Our deeds are yours. At your end, Boogy will join the Guild where father cannot reach.”

  Again, Peepers vanished. This time, the lights returned and Geno returned. As he approached Alan, he winked and held his right hand close to his belly with a subtle thumbs-up signal.

  “Is that it?” Alan asked. “Will Peepers leave me alone now?”

  “Yeah, buddy. That’s it. You won’t hear from him again,” Geno replied as he put his arm around Alan and walked him out.

  As they stood in front of the Labyrinth, Geno leaned in. “Wait for me in the parking lot.” He turned and darted back inside before Alan could ask any questions.

  *****

  Leaning both arms over the hood of his car, Alan watched as Geno approached ten minutes later.

  “What’s up, Geno? Why did you want to meet me out here?”

  “Sorry, Alan. What I have to tell you can’t be anywhere near the Labyrinth. Peepers can’t know that I’m talking to you.”

  “Why? What’s this about?”

  “It’s the molds, Alan. Peepers only let you go because you still have his mold.”

  “I’m not following you. I’m not going to cast any more figures of him. Why does it matter that I still have them?”

  “The molds give the figures their power. And you were right to get out because Peepers is crazy. His mold needs to be destroyed or people will get hurt.”

  “What? Wait, what about the other clowns? Are Spanky and Agor dangerous?”

  “No, it’s just Peepers. The others are fine. Your sister-in-law is safe, but Peepers’ mold needs to be destroyed or he’ll find a way to take it from you. Once that happens, all hell will break loose.”

  “Oh my God,” Alan said. His body went limp and he slid down the side of his car to the ground. “Did he kill Mrs. Henderson? Did I cause that?”

  Geno sat next to him. “No. He was telling you the truth about her. I know this because he was really pissed off when she died because he didn’t get the chance to do anything to her.”

  Alan remained dazed. Geno grabbed his arms and gave him a good shake. “You have to stay with me, Alan. I don’t have much time. We have to destroy Peepers’ mold.”

  “Okay, I’ll go home right now and destroy it. Actually, I’m going to destroy all of them. I shouldn’t have been messing around with this stuff in the first place.”

  “You can’t do that, Alan. There’s more to it than just destroying the mold. That will prevent Peepers from casting more figures, but it won’t stop him from finding someone else to make another mold.”

  “Well, then, how can we prevent that from happening?”

  “We have to expel him from the Labyrinth. The only way to do this would be to destroy his mold inside the Labyrinth. It’s dangerous, but it’s our only option.”

  “Okay, I’ll go get the molds, a ham
mer, and a box cutter. You’ll have to sneak me inside—”

  “No, that won’t work. Peepers won’t let you back inside with his mold. He’ll kill you before you have a chance to destroy it.”

  “What do we do then?”

  “He won’t suspect me, Alan. He trusts me because I’m scared shitless of him. I can get the molds in without him knowing. Then I’ll destroy them and we’ll all be free of him.”

  “You want me to give you the molds?”

  “It’s the only way. Wait, are you saying you don’t trust me?” Geno said.

  “I don’t know. This is all coming at me really fast, and I’m not sure who to trust anymore.”

  “Alan, you have to trust me. Don’t you get it? I’m like you. That asshole has been holding me hostage in there for years. I want him gone more than you could imagine. Besides, you don’t have any other options. Please trust me, Alan. I can’t go on living under his control.”

  Alan thought about Geno’s plea. While he wasn’t comfortable releasing the molds to him, he didn’t see any other options.

  “Okay, I’ll consider giving the molds to you, all three. But as I said, this is a lot to think about. I’ll need some time. I’ll meet you back out here tomorrow morning, an hour before opening.”

  “I understand. I hit you with a lot of stuff. I’m sure that once you think about it, you’ll know what needs to be done, and you’ll bring the molds with you.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Geno helped Alan stand to his feet. “I need to leave now before he suspects anything. I’ll see you in the morning, Alan.” Geno ran back inside the carnival grounds.

  *****

  Peepers watched from the mirror as Geno returned to the Labyrinth. Upon seeing Peepers, Geno stopped. A smile came over Peepers’ face.

  “Well done, my son,” he said.

  Geno grinned. “It will be ours tomorrow morning.”

  Chapter 21

  Alan had just inserted the key into his apartment door when the sound of a door opening behind him prevented him from locking it. With his fingers still firmly grasping the key, he turned to see Lyle walking toward him with a smile.

  “Hey, pal, I’m glad I caught you.”

  “Oh, hey, Lyle.”

  “Listen, before you leave, I’ve been thinking about what went down between us the other night. I don’t know what came over me. I was out of line, and I’m really sorry. Can you forgive me? I swear it’ll never happen again.”