The Guild of Fallen Clowns

by Francis Xavier

  “Hey, buddy,” Ringmaster interrupted. “Smelling my balls will cost you extra.” Immediately, Brenda’s hands covered Sammy’s ears.

  Ringmaster started to laugh. “Sorry, lady, carnival humor. I didn’t notice junior there.”

  Brenda’s father found Ringmaster’s wisecrack to be somewhat amusing. He lowered the ball and took aim as Ringmaster stepped back to give him plenty of room to throw. He pulled his arm back and launched the ball. It hit the bottom left bottle, toppling it and the top bottle.

  “Nice try, buddy, but you have to drop them all for a prize. You can still win anything on the middle shelf.”

  He picked up the second ball and concentrated on his aim.

  “Hit between the bottom two, Daddy,” Brenda cheered.

  “Really, Brenda, don’t you think I know that?” He returned his focus on the stack. Again, he reached back and threw the ball with all his might. The ball thudded against the backdrop. His aim was a good foot to the left of the stack.

  “That’s okay, Daddy. You still have one more shot. Just take your time and don’t throw so hard.”

  He picked up the last ball and tossed it back and forth between his hands a few times. For his final attempt, he decided to loosen up and not think so much. He held the ball and looked at Sammy. Sammy smiled back at his Pop-Pop. Without taking his eyes off his grandson, he reached back. Then, as his arm moved forward, his head spun toward the target, barely giving him a split second to calculate his aim. The ball released and split the bottom two, toppling the entire stack.

  Sammy’s arms flew above his head. Brenda screeched in excitement and hugged her father.

  “We have another winner!” Ringmaster called out to the crowd. “That’s two winners in a row at the Milk Bottle Throw. The easiest game at the carnival.”

  “Pick out your prize, Daddy.”

  “Oh no, I told you I don’t want a silly prize. You pick something, or let’s let Sammy pick one.” Sammy grinned with anticipation of choosing one of the prizes. His head and pointed finger aimed high to a giant gorilla above him.

  “I didn’t agree with you. I just agreed to discuss it,” Brenda said to her father while she looked at Sammy and shook her head to let him know it wasn’t going to happen. Sammy understood her gesture and responded with a frown.

  “Oh, I should have known. You’re just like your mother, Brenda. She was a master at twisting words.”

  “Yes, I am. She taught me all of her tricks while you were away. And I remember the one thing she would say that always worked.”

  “Oh, what was that?”

  Before she could reply, Ringmaster interrupted. “Look folks, when you figure out what you want, let me know. I have other customers.” They nodded and Ringmaster stepped away.

  “Okay, wait,” she said. “Let me get into character.” She put on a stern face and folded her arms across her chest.

  “Oh, here it comes,” he said as his eyes rolled back.

  “Sam—or, uh—Dad, you have two choices. You can go to church with me and Sammy tomorrow or you can suck it up and pick a prize for yourself.”

  “I knew it. You played the church card. God, I miss that. You’re right, she always got her way with that one. Now I wish, just once, that I would have called her bluff and went to church with her and you.”

  Remaining in character, Brenda’s face tightened. “So, Sam, what’s it going to be?”

  As he looked at her face, he smirked and said, “Both!”

  Brenda’s confusion stripped away her mother’s persona. “No—what—really? You’ll go to church with us tomorrow?”

  “Sure,” he said. “And I’ll take the stupid prize. Let’s just say you and your mother both won one this time.”

  Excited, she turned to the boy and said, “Did you hear that, Sammy? Pop-Pop’s going with us to church tomorrow.” Her enthusiasm flowed through Sammy as he smiled and the two jumped up and down together.

  Sam turned to look at the prize shelf. Starting from the front, he scanned the row of cheap fuzzy options, all the way to the back where he noticed the one item which didn’t fit in.

  “Did you decide yet?” Ringmaster said as he moved toward Sam.

  “Yeah, I think so. Give me the one in the back, the last one on the shelf.”

  Ringmaster turned to see which stuffed animal he was pointing to. He stepped to the rear and took the Peepers figure off the shelf. A look of confusion came across his face as he studied the unfamiliar object. He looked at the other shelves to see if there were more mysterious prizes. It was the only one.

  “Yeah, that’s the one,” Sam said. Ringmaster took another look at the figure, shrugged, and handed it to Sam before tending to another customer.

  “What did you pick, Daddy?”

  Sam studied the figure. “I don’t know, looks like some sort of scary clown thing.”

  Brenda’s eyes widened. “You shouldn’t have picked that,” she said as she reached for the figure.”

  Sam pulled away. “No, it’s okay. It’s just a toy,” he said.

  Brenda turned to look at the prize shelf. “Look, the stuffed puppy, you can trade it for that and I’ll let you give it to Sammy.”

  “Too late,” Sam said. He took another look at the figure. “It’s just a toy, Brenda. I’m not as weak as you think I am.”

  Sammy reached up for the prize. “I want to see it, Pop-Pop.”

  Brenda pushed his hands down and stepped between them. “Don’t let him see it. He’ll have nightmares.”

  Sam obliged her and tucked it under his arm.

  “But I want to see it, Pop-Pop.”

  His grandfather ignored his plea and changed the subject. He bent down and asked Sammy where the Merry-Go-Round was. Sammy forgot all about his Pop-Pop’s prize and pointed in the direction of the Merry-Go-Round.

  Chapter 22

  “Is this some sort of icon of protection?” the women said as she sat in the back seat of the cab. The Peepers figure was standing upright on the seat beside her.

  “Excuse me?” Reggie replied.

  “This thing on the seat next to me. It looks like something which might be used to ward off evil.”

  Reggie turned to see what the woman was referring to. Peepers appeared to be looking right at her. “What, where did that come from?”

  “I guess that answers my question,” the woman said. “It was probably left by a previous fare.” Both Reggie and the woman studied the object, then the woman said, “If nobody claims it, you might want to keep it back here. I would certainly think twice about robbing you.”

  Reggie faced forward and put the car in drive. “Good thought, but I’m pretty sure I know who it belongs to.”

  “Well, maybe they won’t claim it.”

  “True, but I couldn’t just keep it. You’re my last fare for the day. I’ll swing by and return it to him.”

  “Seriously? You would go out of your way to return that? Do you hand deliver everything people leave in your cab?”

  “Well, no, but it’s not that much out of my way, and he was a nice guy.”

  “Oh, so he tipped you well. I get it. Maybe he’ll give you a reward. Smart girl.”

  “Actually, his tip was small.”

  The woman smiled as she leaned forward in her seat. “Oh, now I know what’s going on. You like him. I’m so stupid. I should have figured it out when you said he was nice.”

  Reggie blushed as she lowered her chin to her chest.

  “That’s it, isn’t it?” the woman exclaimed. “Good for you. I really hope it works out for you.”

  *****

  “Oh no, not here, please don’t stop here,” Alan said as the Ferris wheel came to a stop, rocking the seat at the highest point. His knuckles turned white from his firm grip on the safety bar in front of them.

  Mary smiled as she watched his body tense. His eyes were fixed on his own lap, avoiding the expansive view.

  “Are you afraid of heights, Alan?”

  �
��I’m trying to get over it,” he replied.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? We didn’t have to come on here.”

  “Because if you knew about all the things I’m…I don’t like, you might change your mind about me.”

  “Don’t be silly. Everyone has something they are afraid of. So tell me, what other things…don’t you like?”

  “You don’t,” he said. The ride continued moving and his grip lessened the closer they got to the ground.

  “Seriously?” she said. “Do you really think nothing scares me?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean, look at you. You live alone in a house in the middle of the woods with a ghost. You are the most amazingly strong women I’ve ever met.”

  Mary sat back in the seat, looking thoughtful. After a short pause she said, “I think I’m flattered that you see me that way, but it’s so far from the truth. You really don’t know me at all. As a matter of fact, if you did know about the thing that scares me most, you probably wouldn’t be interested in seeing me again.”

  “Are you kidding?” Alan said. “I’d love to know what you’re afraid of. What is it? Do you have a list of things, or is it just one or two things? Please, tell me.”

  Mary frowned. “Whoa! You’re starting to worry me. I said I have things that scare me, and you’re getting excited, and almost giddy, to learn about my pain.”

  Alan’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, you’re right. That was totally inappropriate of me. I’m so, so sorry. You have to believe me. That wasn’t my intention. I would never take pleasure from your pain. I’m such an idiot. What was I thinking?”

  “I’m not going to lie to you. That was pretty stupid. I’d also like to know what you must have been thinking.”

  The ride started to slow down again. It came to a stop with them in the next position after the peak. Alan’s hands lightly rested on the bar. He casually took in the view as he tried to find an answer to Mary’s question.

  “I guess I was feeling less intimidated by you, and it felt good. You are so strong and I’m…well—I’m a wreck. I know my response was unacceptable, but the idea that you might have some flaws made you that much more attractive to me. I thought that maybe I do have a chance.”

  Mary sighed and offered no expression as she digested his words.

  “Obviously, I was wrong,” he continued. “I wish you told me that when I had my Boogy makeup on. You might not have noticed my stupid grin behind the sad lips.”

  Mary broke her silence. “You’re kinda pathetic, aren’t you, Alan?”

  He slumped in the seat and mumbled, “Yes.”

  “I think it’s sweet,” she added.

  “Huh?” He sat up and saw her smiling.

  “I think it’s sweet the way you think of me. I know you would never take pleasure in my pain. And I’m sure it wasn’t easy telling me that you are intimidated by me. You really shouldn’t feel that way. Once you get to know me, you’ll see that there’s nothing intimidating about me. I’m not that much different from you.”

  “I don’t know about that,” he said.

  “Really, did you notice my smile when you said you were intimidated by me?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I smiled. That had to be a painful admission for you, and I smiled. It was wrong, but it felt good. So I understand why you looked the way you did when I said I had plenty of fears of my own.”

  The ride stopped and the operator lifted the safety bar. Mary rose to step onto the platform. Alan braced her by gently placing his hand on her lower back. She stepped off the platform and turned to wait for him to join her. He stepped down beside her. She smiled wide and grabbed his hand. She turned so they were side by side and she returned his hand to her lower back. Alan matched her smile and they began walking away from the ride. Her head leaned into his shoulder.

  “What next?” he said.

  She pointed in the distance and said, “Cotton candy!”

  Chapter 23

  The cab came to a stop at the carnival’s entrance. Reggie looked in the rearview mirror and combed her hair. She returned the comb to her purse and dug around until she found a tube of lipstick. She pulled off the cover and twisted the bottom, exposing the bright red stick inside. She leaned in and tilted her head back as she applied a fresh coat to her stretched upper lip. She smeared both lips together, evenly distributing the radiantly pigmented wax. After a final inspection, she returned the lipstick to her purse, grabbed the figure from the passenger seat, and exited the vehicle.

  A young girl took the long ribbon of tickets from the half-circle hole through the ticket booth window and rejoined her group of friends nearby. Reggie stepped forward and leaned close to the circular opening.

  “Hi, I’m a cab driver and I’m looking for someone who works here. I think he left something in my cab earlier and I’m here to return it.”

  “You got a name?” Cracky said.

  “Yes, my name is Regina,” she replied.

  Cracky grinned and waited for her to figure out his question. She didn’t catch on. He stared at her and his grin opened to a smile. Still oblivious and confused at the smiling clown face behind the glass, she added, “Most people call me Reggie.”

  Cracky laughed and let her off the hook. “It’s nice to meet you, Reggie. Now, would you happen to know the name of the person you’re looking for?”

  Reggie rolled her eyes and returned an awkward smile. “Dah! Why would you want to know my name? I’m so stupid. His name is Geno. At least that’s the name he gave my dispatcher.”

  “Geno?” Cracky repeated.

  “Yes, do you have a Geno here?”

  “Yeah, Geno works here. I’m just surprised because I’ve never known him to venture out. Are you sure his name was Geno? Was he a pasty-faced little guy with greasy long hair?”

  “Yes, his name was definitely Geno, and he wasn’t very tall. But I don’t know about the rest. Is it possible that you have two Genos working here? Because the guy I’m talking about was cute. I don’t think he was pasty or greasy looking. He was a gentleman.”

  Cracky chuckled. “No, lady, we only got one Geno. You should be able to find him in da Haunted Labyrinth of Mirrors. It’s back dat way on da left. Da place is temporarily closed for repairs, so go ’round back and knock on the door.”

  Reggie turned to move away, raising the hand gripping Peepers and giving a half wave as she thanked him. Cracky only got a glimpse of the figure before her hand lowered and she walked away. His expression looked like that of someone who just got an unexpected whiff of a bad fart. He turned to stick his head out the side door window for another look, but it was too late. She rounded the corner and disappeared from view.

  “Six tickets, mister,” a boy said at the window. Cracky shrugged his shoulders, turned, and exchanged the boy’s money for six tickets.

  *****

  Reggie’s chubby fist rapped three times on the hollow steel door. As she waited for Geno to open the door, she looked around. Seeing nobody, she slightly raised her left arm and sniffed her pit. Another privacy scan of her surroundings and she sniffed her right pit.

  The door opened and she took a step back. Geno glared at her standing on the metal grate. Seeing she was obviously nervous and unsure of her decision to visit him, Geno put her at ease. “Regina, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

  “Well, I was in the area so I thought I’d stop in to see if you left this in my cab.” She held out the Peepers figure.

  Geno looked at the figure. “I’m sorry, my dear, but no. It’s not mine.”

  Her arm lowered, “Oh, I’m sorry. The fare after you found it on the seat. I just assumed—”

  “No need to apologize,” he said. He closed the gap between them and put his arm over shoulder. “I’m glad someone else left it because it brought us together again.”

  “Really?” she said.

  “Of course. You see, I bought this expensive bottle of wine a long time ago and I didn’t want to open it until I found a spec
ial person to share it with.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” she said.

  Geno laughed. “I’m talking about you, Regina. I know it sounds crazy after a couple of cab rides, but I really like you. I would love it if you would do me the honor of having a drink with me.”

  “I don’t think it’s crazy. I like you too.” She blushed.

  Geno stepped to the side of the doors opening and bowed. “After you.”

  “I can’t,” she said.

  “Oh, are you still working?”

  “No, it’s not that. My shift is over, but I’m parked outside the entrance. I didn’t think I’d be long. I should move the cab into the parking area.”

  “I have a better idea,” Geno said. “Pull around behind the gate here.” He pointed to the grassy area outside the fence. “I’ll unlock the gate for you. This way you won’t have as long a walk.”

  She giggled and told him she would be right back as she rushed away. As soon as she was out of view, Geno’s flirty expression turned cold. He rushed inside the Labyrinth to prepare for her return. Minutes later, the door opened again. Geno stepped out with a canvas bag and walked to the gate behind the Labyrinth. He rested the bag in the dirt, unlocked the gate, and pushed it open about a foot. He returned the key to his pocket, picked the bag off the ground, and proceeded to walk between the structures until he blended with the crowd of visitors.

  *****

  The cab eased its way through the tall grasses along the outside perimeter of the fence. The thumping in her chest intensified as she noticed the open gate behind the Haunted Labyrinth of Mirrors. With a gentle press of her foot on the brake the vehicle screeched as it came to a stop. Looking through the wire fence, Reggie saw the back door of the Labyrinth cracked open, welcoming her return.

  “This is crazy,” she whispered before placing the car in park and turning off the engine. She sat inside the cab, looking at the fence, the open gate, and the open door to the building.

  “Is this really happening?” she said as she continued staring at the door, waiting for a declared winner between her logical brain and the more repressed adventurous brain to emerge. Romance joined the fight, and logic was forced to retreat.

  Without further hesitation, she exited the car, slipped through the gate, and proceeded until she stood at the partially open door. Once again, the now severely wounded forces of logic halted her advance by firing a final warning. “What are you doing, Regina? You don’t even know this guy,” she mumbled.