by Dana Archer
“Does this human female have a name?”
I drag my tongue along the inside of my lip. I swear I can still taste Lyla. Too bad she isn’t a witch. I’d be able to write off my reaction to her instead of looking for ways to avoid her. “Lyla.”
“And Lyla’s the reason you want to abandon your commitment to Shifter Affairs.” Kade’s knowing look cuts through me. “Saving her triggered your instincts.”
I open my mouth, but I can’t deny Kade’s assumption. I nod. Many things and many people can trigger a shifter’s instincts. It doesn’t always mean the person who caused the reaction is a true mate. Knowing that is the only reason I can justify leaving Lyla. She might’ve simply triggered my instincts as Kade suggested. Even Rick told me once about how seeing a dog getting abused triggered his instincts to protect.
“Tell me, Uri.” The demand is back in Kade’s tone.
“Humans don’t understand what it means for shifters when our instincts are triggered. They live in a world where political correctness and social civilities are the norm. There’s no room for a shifter’s instincts. You see, protection isn’t much different from ownership to them, and the lust that comes along with those primitive drives is not appropriate between coworkers.”
“You want Lyla, then?”
“Yes.” And resisting my felines’ desire to seek Lyla out will likely get worse before it gets better. Distance is best.
“Your behavior toward Bryon had nothing to do with being an out-of-control agent.” Kade stares at me until I face him. “You realize that, right? You roughed him up because he not only left Lyla bruised but abandoned her.”
“Like he abandoned me and Ezra.”
Kade shakes his head, his gaze never leaving mine. “It has nothing to do with the past. You want Lyla, and either you or your cats view Bryon as a threat.”
My steady stare is the only answer I can give. Voicing anything else will lead Kade into a contemplation of what Lyla might be to me beyond the woman who triggered my instincts.
“So you want to leave Shifter Affairs because…” Kade’s pregnant pause invites me to fill it.
“As part of my Shifter Affairs training, I learned much about the expectations of an agent’s behavior in the human world.” I pull out my phone and click on the contract I’ve downloaded to remind me of my obligations, then turn the screen to the section I’ve highlighted on sexual harassment. “And harassment is one that’s not accepted. Any agent found guilty of sexually harassing a coworker will be terminated. Immediately. I’m simply saving Ella the hassle of kicking me off the force.”
Kade glances at the screen, then looks at me with a raised brow. “Lyla’s brought you up on harassment charges?”
“Not yet, but she can.” I have Rick to thank for reminding me of that danger.
“For…saving her? Is that what you’re telling me? She can bring you up on harassment charges for…saving her.”
“No. For kissing her. Touching her.” Sharing air with her and learning what heaven looks like.
“She didn’t want those things?” Kade’s pinched eyes and frown reflect his confusion. “You’re an Alexander. Females view us as desirable. I’ve never met any available woman who didn’t welcome our attention.”
“Lyla didn’t initiate our kiss. She didn’t invite my touch either.” Except for this morning when she sat on my lap in her attempt to tease me and make me snap.
“Then ask her what she wants. Human females enjoy communication. They expect it, actually. She might be waiting on you to act first.”
Shaking my head, I lean my ass against the railing and scrutinize the house. While the exterior is finished, only a handful of interior rooms are complete. Something about the overworked carpenters and scheduling has left the main Alexander pride home half-done. “I don’t want to get involved with her.”
“Why not?”
“I can count the number of times I’ve had sex on one hand.” Less than that, actually. Only once did I ever sneak off and take a woman. Afterward, the guilt crushed me. Ezra refused to join me, leaving him a virgin and me with the memory of some nameless human hooker as my first and only lover. “Leaving Shifter Affairs is best. Besides, my twin needs me now more than ever. He’s finally showing interest in embracing his human side. I need to be there for him.”
“Ezra can figure things out on his own just as I’m sure you can once you get Lyla naked.”
A multitude of arguments sits on my tongue. I shake my head, refusing to voice them. Kade will have a counterargument for everything. “I owe it to Ezra to be there if he needs me. The twin bond is powerful. You know this. Between Ezra and me, it’s even stronger.”
“Then you’ll have to quit, leaving your position open. I won’t order Zach to take your place.”
“But why?” I pivot to focus on Kade. He’s once again looking out into the distance. “Ella is his true mate. Once that connection is recognized, it can’t be denied.” Which is why I must get away from Lyla…just in case she’s mine.
Kade steeples his hands and rests his forehead against them. A minute passes. Then another. Finally, he sighs. “Ella is not Zach’s true mate. He lied to her. Lied to the bear shifters who turned her into a piece of meat. Lied to the Shifter Council and Shifter Affairs. Lied to me.”
My shoulders slump, pain for Ella overwhelming me. She truly believed Zach was her true mate. I’m fairly certain she has a plan to win him over too. “Why?”
Kade rubs at his eyes. “To make up for not saving his real true mate—the Royal female who died because Zach didn’t get to her in time. Apparently, Ella looks a lot like Mildred, a girl he met and lost during the Second World War.”
“A Royal female.” I repeat the point that makes Kade’s revelation truly devastating. Royal shifters don’t get a second chance. Once we die, we die. Our souls don’t get reborn like the single shifters and humans. Royals die and return to the realm of the goddesses. Anyone we leave behind—including our true mate—will live on without us. Forever. Only death reunites us.
“Yes, Zach can still mate Ella. Knowing he has no one to wait for, his felines won’t fight him. In fact, he’s considered taking that step. His protective instincts toward Ella are that strong. He’s also attracted to her. It would be no hardship to wake up to her every day for eternity. He’s hesitant to do so, however. If she has a true mate out there, she’ll lose him and end up being stuck for eternity as Zach’s second choice.” Kade glances at me, and the pain in his expression settles over me too. “He thinks that knowledge would hurt her and wants her happy above all else.”
“She’s not happy. In fact, she’s miserable and lonely and doesn’t understand why she’s not good enough for Zach to love.” Ella may not have explicitly said any of those things, but I feel her pain whenever the topic of Zach is brought up.
Kade dips his head. “If you’re adamant about leaving Shifter Affairs, I will take your place.”
My back goes ramrod straight. “Absolutely not. Your place is here, in this house. You’re alpha, and your life can’t be risked.”
“Rick will ensure I don’t get kidnapped by our enemies or hurt. He’s a powerful and worthy single shifter. I trust him with my life.”
I open my mouth, but again, I can’t deny Kade’s words. Rick is worthy enough to protect my alpha.
Kade nods as if his decision is made. “I’ll call Ella and let her know of our new arrangement, then.”
“No.” I step closer to Kade and let my power wash over him. I may not be alpha, but I’m strong enough to be one. It’s just not the role I was born to fill. “You will do no such thing.”
“You don’t tell me what to do, Uriel Alexander.”
The tiny hairs on my arms stand up, and tingles dance over my skin. I hold Kade’s gaze as I’m lashed by my alpha’s anger. “Sorry, alpha of the Alexander pride. There will be no position for you to fill at Shifter Affairs. I’ve decided to deal with my instincts in a way befitting of our pride’s name. I’
m not ruled by my lust. Lyla will learn that I can respect her as a person, and everything will be fine.” At least until I figure out who can safely take my spot at Shifter Affairs.
Kade shrugs. “Then I’ll demand a position be created for me. I don’t think Ella will mind having another agent on the books.”
“You are alpha of the Alexander pride. Your place is here, not—”
“And Colin Lynch is next in line to be the alpha leader of his family.” Kade raises a brow in challenge. “There’s no rule in that handbook of yours to prevent me from becoming an agent or to force Colin to quit once he ascends to power.”
“Your twin will have a problem with it. I guarantee Rafe won’t stand for it.”
“My twin can take the role of alpha any day he wants it. I’ll pass the spirit over without a second thought. Rafe knows this. He doesn’t want the responsibility either.”
“Then another member of the pride will stop you from making such a foolish decision. Maybe even I will.”
Kade spreads out his arms. “Ask for it, Uri. Ask me to hand over the Alexander spirit. I’ll do it. I’ll make a celebration out of it, calling all our pride members home to witness the transfer.”
For the first time in my life, sympathy for Kade’s situation wells within me. Obligation drives him to act as alpha, but still, he gives freely of himself. I have no doubt he’d lay down his life for any member of our pride. “I was wrong. So very wrong about you.”
Kade laughs and drops his arms. “Yeah? What were you wrong about?”
“You’re a better man than your father ever was.”
Brows pinched, Kade steps back. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. On a low grunt, he turns on his heel and storms back into the house.
I focus on the kitchen door a moment longer, then look at my phone. The highlighted section on harassment is staring back at me.
The hooker who accepted me into her body didn’t make me orgasm, didn’t satisfy me, didn’t entice me to touch myself. I went through the motions I’d learned by watching other couples and brought that nameless female to release, then left her with the payment she demanded for using her body, my body as rigid as it was before I touched her.
What I don’t know won’t tempt me.
The words strengthen me. I send Lyla a text, asking her to meet me in the gym at six p.m. sharp, then take the stairs to the barren backyard. My twin is out in those woods somewhere in his lion form. It’s time I return to Ezra and fulfill my obligation to him. From now until the world ends.
Seven
Lyla
Even the homeless avoid the slums of the city. They know they won’t get any handouts here. Only exchanges happen among the dregs of society. Nothing ever comes free. And if you don’t have money to pay off your debts, you better find another way.
Memories push at me. My mom telling me to take an envelope to her dealer. Her hugging me as if she’d never see me again. Sam ripping the crumpled envelope from my hand as I left our apartment building and telling me to stay in the library until it closes.
The lump in my throat makes it hard to swallow. I prop my shoulder against the side of the brick building and pull the collar of my jacket up, covering my nose and mouth. My exhales warm the air after a moment, and the memory loses its grip on me.
It’s not all that surprising I’m reminded of the night Sam went missing. It happened here.
My gaze strays to the small and underfunded library. Cutout hearts and cardboard cupids decorate the glass front of the building. I spent most nights there, even after Sam didn’t come back. I had nowhere else to go. Except home. And I never felt safe there. Or around the leering men my mom brought back with her most nights.
The temptation to glance at the third-floor windows of the apartment building across the street is strong, but the reason I braved this section of town forces my legs to move. I close the distance to the Crescent Moon Tavern a few doors down from the library and push open the worn, battered wooden door.
Hazy smoke hangs over the tavern’s interior. A deep inhale tells me cigarettes aren’t the only thing being smoked here tonight, but considering the type of crowd this place draws, I’m not surprised to pick up the musky scent that always clung to my mom. It’s better than the rotting-corpse smell heavy Elixir users give off before their organs shut down.
The door bangs shut behind me, and a couple of locals glance my way. A flash of recognition shows on their expressions before they look away.
Dismissing me.
Chin raised and shoulders back, I stride forward, letting the sounds of laughter, the drone of conversations, and the hard rock music welcome me instead. Each sensory detail takes me back in time. This pub was my stomping ground once I was old enough to pass myself off as an adult, but I’m not a neighborhood girl anymore. To the locals, I’m a Specialized Affairs agent, the term humans are given for our department. No matter the title, I’m nothing more than a glorified cop to them.
And for those living in the slums, the police are to be avoided at all costs.
Fine by me. I’m not here to socialize. I’m not here to get anyone in trouble either. I need an inside source, but convincing the shifter I once called my best friend to talk to me isn’t going to be any easier than it was with Bryon.
I unbutton my jacket, then take a stool farthest from the crowd. After a few minutes, the man pulling a draft of beer looks over his shoulder. Sasha studies me intently until foaming beer pours over the rim of the mug he’s holding before releasing the lever. He tips the mug then slams it down in front of another man sitting on the opposite side of the bar. The beer sloshes, spilling over the sides once more. Sasha shakes his hand, then wipes the excess beer into his shirt.
With his gaze locked on me, he walks the length of the bar, pausing halfway to snatch a mug of beer from a waitress holding it out to him.
My pulse quickens to the point where the rushing of my blood echoes in my ear. I swallow against the dryness in my throat. There’s no reason for it. Sasha’s been tending bar here for ages, even serving me before I was legal. He knows me, but his pissed-off glare makes me wonder if our acquaintanceship is over.
“The police aren’t welcome here. They make my customers feel uneasy.” Sasha points to the door without taking his glaring stare off me. “Leave. Now.”
Not a wrinkle shows around his blue eyes or his firm lips. There’s not a sign of gray in his hair either. He’s easily my mom’s age too. He’s definitely aged well, unlike her. Of course, guilt takes years off a person’s life, and my mom has a ton of guilt on her shoulders. Not to mention the conviction on her record to remind her of her sins.
“I’m not here to cause trouble, and I’m not here as an agent.” I motion to the beer he’s holding. “I’m here for a drink and some information.”
Sasha sets the heavy mug on the wooden counter, no coaster or napkin to keep it from staining the wood. “Here you go, then. Now tell me why you’re in my place.”
I glance at the beer, a pale yellow ale that’s probably as bitter as it looks. One sip confirms my guess. “I’m looking for Izzy.”
“You going to arrest her?”
“I hadn’t planned on it.” While I don’t approve of prostitution, it’s one of the oldest businesses. Who am I to condemn Izzy when I can sympathize with the path that led her to it? And as long as she doesn’t kill her clients, I don’t need to get involved.
“Good. She’s having a tough time right now.”
“Why’s that?”
“Izzy got evicted from her apartment. New landlord claimed she didn’t pay the price he demanded. She gave him money. A handful of hard-earned cash.” Sasha jerks his head to the back of the bar. “Right there. I saw the whole exchange. Landlord pocketed the money, then left. Next day, her stuff’s in the street. What’s left of it anyway. You know how it is around here.”
“Anything not nailed down walks away.” Which is why my jacket isn’t hanging on the nice, nearly empty coatrack even though
it’s sweltering in here.
“Yep.” Sasha scowls. “Bryon happened down this way, though. Saw the losers hauling Izzy’s stuff off and put an end to it. He got back what he could for her too, but her important stuff was already gone.”
“Did she file a police report?”
“No clue.” Sasha leans closer to me, his mouth inches from my ear, and inhales. Then chuckles. Over what, I don’t know, but he presses his lips near my ear and lowers his voice to a near whisper before I can ask what he finds so amusing. “But she’s desperate to get her mom’s stuff back. Even coerced Bryon into helping her. Now he’s down here harassing and scaring my best customer. He’s already afraid of him. Afraid of his secrets. Afraid of the demon he keeps locked inside. You know what happens when a self-proclaimed badass tries to prove he’s not afraid, don’t you?”
“No.” Even if I had a guess, I don’t want to voice it and risk influencing whatever Sasha’s about to tell me.
“He targets those weaker than him in an effort to remind himself he’s truly a badass. It’s a false sense of power, but it’s power all the same, and then he’s not so afraid.” Sasha eases back with a sneer that chills me, where moments ago, I’d been on the verge of sweating. “And that sort of posturing does not create an environment that’s good for my business or the other type of business that goes on here. You know what I mean, don’t you?”
The illegal kind of transactions that were commonplace in the backrooms of this bar years ago. I have no doubt they’re still going on. “You shouldn’t be telling me stuff like that, Sasha.”
“You’re not here on business.” Sasha’s glower darkens. “Right?”