Dungeon Dalliance

by Charles Andrews

  A wet warmth greeted me as I parted her and slipped my fingers inside. She gasped into my mouth and tensed, as though she wasn’t sure what to make of this sudden invasion, but then she started bucking against my hand with a feverish pace and fury that surprised me.

  Well then. I guess it really had been awhile for her as well! It was doing a little something for me too. There was something about feeling this level of desire, feeling a woman this hot responding to me, that made me dizzy with lust.

  Then again maybe I was dizzy with something else too. I opened my eyes for a moment to see what was happening in the outside world, and I was greeted with the sight of the world tumbling and spinning all around me. As though the zero gravity we were enjoying in here was sending us around and around, surrounding us with an impossibly bright light.

  Almost like the magic this creature was putting out was directly proportional to the pleasure she felt. Huh. I wondered if there was something I could do with that, and I wondered if it would be a danger or a help to my friends out there.

  I didn’t even have Treanna to ask about it. She’d disappeared when I was pulled into this sphere. Maybe this was a spot where even the in game AI assistant couldn’t go.

  Still, I couldn’t help but feel that I might’ve just discovered the answer to this puzzle, and it was a hell of an answer if it was what I thought it was!

  The magic creature fumbled at my robes. My fingers were still exploring her and I was using all the old tricks I knew to get a girl going, that bright magic would seem to say that I was doing something right, but if she was eager for something a little more substantial than my finger then I was happy to oblige.

  She pulled me out and her hand wrapped around me. Guided me to the spot where my fingers were. Though you bet your ass I pulled them out the moment she seemed like she was ready for me!

  I focused on her. If I focused on the world around us it made my stomach queasy. I’d never had a problem with the whole motion sickness thing before, but there was something about the way the world was tumbling around us outside the sphere that turned my stomach today.

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  “It’s been so long mortal,” she gasped. “Give me what I need. Help me find release.”

  I figured she was talking about the kind of release that comes from having a little mind blowing fun with a friend of the opposite sex. Or the same sex. I didn’t judge even if I didn’t swing that way. Except for one drunk night when a couple of girls said they’d make out with each other if I kissed one of my friends, and the less said about that the better.

  “Um, so I have to say I’m sorry if this doesn’t…”

  Any excuses I might’ve made for myself because it’d been awhile since I did something like this were lost on my tongue as she bore down on me. Oh fuck. For a girl who hadn’t been with someone in who knew how long, at least a month considering that’s when the game went live, she sure as hell knew what she was doing.

  The heat was impossible. The magic pulsing in her pulsed around my dick in time with our breathing, and I did what comes natural to a guy in that situation. I pulled out and pressed inside her, and her gasps were music to my ears.

  Sure I knew on some level that I was basically having sex with a computer, but that computer felt really fucking real in that moment so I told my mind to just forget about it and go with the fun we were having!

  The lack of gravity and the constant spinning didn’t help either. I figured I was getting a taste of the kind of fun the rich bastards at the Academy had when they went up to some of the no gravity pleasure palaces in the higher levels of the elevator.

  But fuck did this seem like it was way better than fucking some stuck up rich girl! I wasn’t sure what kind of AI training they’d used to teach this creature how to do this, but every move of her hips was magic. Every spot her body pressed against mine was an intense heat that filled me with the kind of pleasure that was usually reserved for the grand finale.

  Only it was hitting me in all places and all at once. I went cross-eyed from the sheer overwhelming intensity of it all. I gasped for breath and held on for dear life. Sure it’d been awhile, but this was a supernatural creature who knew how to fuck!

  And with each cry bursts of magic flew out of her. Like the mist that’d been rising from her, but with more intensity. It reached the point that I had to squeeze my eyes shut because I was afraid that light was going to blind me.

  Also? It was too much for me. I pressed into her one final time and then it was all over. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be making a mess in the real world considering I’d already done this once and been okay, so that was one less thing to worry about.

  The magical green creature below me cried out a few more times, and there was an explosion. Like I’m talking a literal explosion where the light got so bright that it was blinding even through my eyes as something exploded out from Teiafa, then the light subsided as she finally came down from whatever magical realm she’d gone to. If this was the kind of reaction I could expect every time I used this whole mental feedback thing then this could get very interesting!

  She looked up at me and smiled. I grinned. A goofy grin, but what the fuck ever. It was a moment that called for goofy grins. Talk about a hell of a way to end a years long dry spell!

  13

  Load Bearing Boss

  Alas, we only had a moment to enjoy that moment before the crystal around us started to shiver and shake, and when I looked up cracks appeared around the edges of our little sphere.

  Not exactly the kind of behavior you wanted to see in a magical crystal sphere that was surrounding you and protecting you from nasty magically energized crystal stalactites that were crashing down all around.

  Most of them were still being destroyed by whatever magic was being put out by this beautiful creature beneath me, but it looked like there were a hell of a lot more of them crashing down around us now. Which meant some of them were getting through.

  “What the hell?”

  “We must go,” she said, pushing me off of her.

  I had a moment of regret at that push. After all, that had been a pretty fun experience. The kind of experience that’d been so good I wouldn’t mind having a round two, but it looked like the game had some very different ideas about what was going to happen.

  I’d long ago become familiar with the concept of the Load Bearing Boss trope. A situation where a dungeon only existed for as long as there was a boss in there to keep everything in place. Once that boss was defeated the whole place started coming down, and there was usually a dramatic escape sequence to go along with.

  And it looked like the designers of this scenario had done the same damn thing. I wasn’t sure what I’d done, but something about banging this incredibly hot magical creature had done something to the dungeon around us, and the whole place was coming down. I thought about that explosion of light and wondered if that’d really been the solution to beating this dungeon.

  “Come,” she said, taking my hand.

  I giggled a little at her choice of words, but took her hand. If we were going to get out of here alive then I figured it had something to do with following her advice.

  We reappeared a moment later on the ledge that held Keli, Sefia, and Treanna. They all turned to look at me at the same time, and their eyes all moved down at the same time. Down to where I still had my robes open showing off my equipment.

  I blushed and reached down to pull my robes closed. Damn it. Why did the game world have to humiliate me like that? I turned and glared at our new magical companion as I gathered my robes, and saw the faintest hint of a smile play across her face.

  Yeah, she might be in a hurry to get out of here considering the whole place was coming down around us, but I got the feeling she’d done that on purpose.

  “I assume you had a great deal of fun in there?” Sefia asked, her tone unreadable.

  “Oh I’d say he did more than have some fun in there!” Treanna c
rowed, doing a few more of those little twirls in the air that she always did when she seemed to be endlessly amused by something embarrassing happening to me.

  “Both of you can shut it right now,” I groused, finally getting my robes back in place.

  I turned to Keli, wondering if she was going to have anything to say about this. She didn’t. She was staring at me, particularly down between my legs. Though when she realized I’d turned towards her she looked up and blushed.

  Well then. That was something interesting to put a pin in for later, but right now we needed to get out of here. Crystal shards were still falling all around us. Magical puffs of green light were catching most of them before they could hit us and be a real danger, but there were still enough of them getting through that I didn’t want to hang around here any longer than was strictly necessary.

  “I think we need to get the hell out of here,” I said.

  A giant crystal shard crashed through the magical barrier protecting us and slammed into the ledge, causing the whole thing to crack right down the middle. A crack that was between us and the exit.

  “Like fucking now!” I shouted, jumping for the exit and catching Sefia and Keli in my arms as I tackled them to the ground. I really hoped that invisible barrier wasn’t still in place.

  Sure enough it wasn’t, and we fell through the emptiness that’d been fairly solid just moments ago. That was a stroke of luck. I guess whatever the fuck I’d done in that crystal sphere had satisfied whatever requirements the devs had for completing this dungeon in addition to satisfying the magical creature within.

  I turned to face Teiafa. She floated in the air above the ledge, completely unconcerned as that ledge cracked into a thousand bits of crystal and fell down into an abyss that had opened up on the bottom part of the spherical room as crystal lances slammed into the bottom and opened into a yawning darkness that seemed like the kind of place that would swallow unlucky gamers. Then she floated forward and smiled again before settling to the ground and taking a few uncertain steps. Like she wasn’t used to using her feet.

  Which sort of made sense for a floating being of pure magic who’d been stuck trapped in a crystal sphere for who knew how long as it was reckoned in the game world.

  She smiled at each of us in turn, then gestured towards the cave leading up.

  “Its power is leaving this place,” she said. “I can only protect you so much, and not if the entire crystal mountain comes down on us. I would advise that we leave as quickly as we can.”

  “Wait a second,” I said, genuinely confused. “What power is leaving this place? I thought you were the power in here?”

  I thought of how I’d felt two presences, and figured this had something to do with that. The curiosity, lust, and malevolent anger hadn’t been conflicting emotions in the same being. They’d been conflicting emotions coming from two powerful creatures, and I think I’d just done something to help one of those creatures defeat the other.

  “I am the power in here,” she said. “That is why I was under attack. That is why the crystal fiends sought to destroy me, and now that you have freed me and my power they will try to do the same to you while taking me with you.”

  That’s a bingo. There were times when I hated being right all the itme.

  “Right,” I said. “In that case I’m all for the original plan of getting the hell out of here while the getting is good!”

  I couldn’t be sure what the hell she was on about, but it sounded like she was talking about the kind of lore dump where there was something else out there causing trouble in this world. The old switcheroo where we thought we were fighting off the big bad and it turns out the big bad was actually something good and oops, we just woke up the real big bad and it was pissed off and getting ready to really fuck our shit up.

  Not exactly the best end to a dungeon run that had already gone far better than any dungeon run had any business going.

  So we sprinted up the tunnels towards the entrance. It felt like an eternity getting down here in the first place, but that was nothing like the stretch of time that it took to get back up top. We broke into the room that’d contained the big guardian we’d killed with a little bit of sneaking around and kill stealing.

  Which, incidentally, was also the room where Keli and Sefia had done their best to get me all worked up. Funny to think that them getting me all worked up like that was probably what had ultimately caught the interest of this beautiful spirit.

  I glanced to where our friends’ bodies had been, but they weren’t there any longer. Maybe they’d decided they were getting the hell out of this place while the getting was good and had resurrected at the nearest graveyard. Sure there was an experience penalty if they didn’t come back and get their bodies, but given the trouble they’d had in here I couldn’t blame them for not wanting to go for those bodies.

  A loud crack behind us pulled my attention back to where we’d just come from. My balls retreated into my body as I saw a giant hunk of crystal come down from the ceiling and slam down, blocking the tunnel we’d so recently vacated. There was a strange sparking glow around where the crystal had broken apart. A glow that reminded me of the magic I’d used to take out the other dungeon creatures.

  Now there was something weird to think about. What if the power that’d been keeping that magic hottie trapped in the depths of this dungeon was magic I was tapping into? I’d assumed I was getting an assist from said magical hottie, but they were separate things.

  There were just too many confusing things going on here for me to keep track of it all, and there was still a good chunk of this crystal cave system to get through.

  I turned back around just in time to see a crystal slam into the ground in front of me. I skidded around it and kept at a dead run.

  “I get the feeling this dungeon really doesn’t want us escaping!” Keli said, a manic grin on her face. “Isn’t it incredible?”

  “It’s something all right!” I yelled.

  We reached the next exit, or maybe it was the entrance. I guess it all depended on which way you were going, and for the moment we were getting the fuck out of there so that made it the exit.

  Another loud crash behind us had me jumping forward, though I didn’t pull any of my lady friends along with me this time. No, they dove right along with me. The crash sounded like the whole fucking mountain was coming down behind us, and when I turned to look it appeared that yup. That was exactly what the hell had happened.

  The entire massive chamber had collapsed, and I stared at a wall of crystal that had been open air just moments ago. Open air, I might add, that I’d been running through. If we’d been just a moment too late in sprinting through that room we would’ve been goners.

  I wasn’t sure if that was a case of timing working out for us, or if it was an instance of the whole dungeon being designed so that the thing came apart just behind us to give a greater sense of urgency. Either way I had no intention of sticking around and waiting for more of the place to come down on my head to test that theory.

  “Keep going!” I said. “The whole fucking thing is going to come down on us!”

  I figured if the whole fucking thing was going to come down then I didn’t want to be there when it happened. So I ran as fast as I could go, and didn’t bother to look and see if anyone else was following.

  Though I had a pretty good idea that at least one member of my party was following. The newest member. It was pretty easy to tell she was somewhere behind me because of the glow.

  I also didn’t stop to think too much about how it was that the tunnel was still there in front of me spiraling up when the whole mountain had already crashed down a couple of levels. That would seem to lend credence to the idea that the whole mountain coming down behind us right in the nick of time was part of the developers fucking with us and not an actual example of the mountain literally coming down on top of us.

  If that was the case then all the tunnels and all the levels above us would’ve been
fucked up and we would’ve been trapped since the mountain collapsing into one lower level room meant all the rooms right above it should’ve collapsed with it. Only they hadn’t.

  It was a lazy bit of game design, but I wasn’t going to knock it as long as I got to get the fuck out of here with my ass intact.

  “Almost there!” I said as I finally saw the home stretch in front of us.

  There were more strange crystal creatures around us, but they were all on the ground writhing and shaking. As though they’d been respawned just in time to get taken out by the dungeon being defeated.

  Then again if we’d truly destroyed this dungeon then it made sense that all the things living in that dungeon would be down for the count.

  Not that I cared about that all that much. No, all that really mattered was we were coming up on the light at the end of the tunnel. Like quite literally there was a light in front of us that said the end of the dungeon was coming up. Any moment now I’d be running through that exit and the whole mountain would come down behind us at the last possible moment crushing all the monsters waiting inside and…

  I skidded to a halt. We were almost at the exit, the whole mountain was rumbling and shaking all around us, but there was something waiting for us just inside the entrance that made my stomach twist.

  “Tomas,” I growled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  14

  Player vs Player

  I stopped and looked around. I was waiting for the whole mountain to come down around us, but it didn’t happen. Sure things were rumbling and there were shards of crystal coming down all around us, but the mountain itself didn’t collapse in on itself.

  Yet.

  Yeah, this was definitely a case of some scenario designer wanting to create a dramatic exit for the poor sons of bitches who managed to beat this mountain into submission and not a case of a load bearing boss with a timer.