Odd Exam

by Piers Anthony

  “Now I am getting nervous. Maybe we should turn around and go back to our stalls.”

  “Maybe we should,” he agreed. “But I'll bet you have questions about that.”

  “Will they let us? Or are we already in too deep to be let go?”

  “Let's find out.”

  “But if this is some sort of trap, and we show we have caught on--”

  “They're monitoring us anyway. Come on.” He took her hand and turned to face the way they had come.

  Nothing happened. They took a few steps, and there was no impediment.

  “Why am I not reassured?” Felony asked.

  “Maybe I can help there. If they are selecting a few students from hundreds of applicants, they may not want any who don't want to be here. So any who want to quit now can do so. That simplifies the process.”

  “It does,” she agreed. “That does reassure me. I think I want to learn more about them. I am curious as hell about what they are really up to. And--”

  “And?”

  She nerved herself visibly. “I guess I'll just have to say it. Promise you won't be mad.”

  Ike paused, figuring it out. What did she figure he wouldn't like? “You want to be with me.”

  She nodded silently.

  “No problem. We can work together. Only--”

  “Strictly business,” she agreed. “No social.”

  “Not boyfriend/girlfriend social, anyway. We can be friends. I'm just not one to promise what I can't deliver. I have to be honest. I don't want to hurt your feelings.”

  “I understand. And I really appreciate your honesty. I'd rather associate with you like a sister than not be with you at all.”

  “But I can say this, Felony: we haven't known each other long, but you seem like a real person, in contrast to the setting. I would rather explore it with a friend by my side, instead of alone.”

  “I agree completely. Friend it is.”

  “Let's go tackle the mystery.”

  “That too,” she agreed, smiling. They turned back toward the building. What would be, would be.

  Chapter 2:

  Sword & Shield

  “Did you notice,” Felony murmured. “Our lines have merged.”

  “I hadn't noticed,” Ike said, surprised. His green line and her red line had been parallel; now they overlapped, alternating colors to make a single line. “It must have happened when we decided to handle this together.”

  “So you're right: we're being watched.”

  “It means they agree to our working together.”

  “That, too,” she agreed with a smile.

  They mounted the steps to the building. The glass door slid open before them. The line led them to a classroom, and then two seats near the front. They sat down.

  Other students were entering and finding their places. They were all young, and looked vaguely uneasy.

  Ike took Felony's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “We're in good company.”

  “Maybe now the mystery will be resolved.”

  When the classroom was full, an instructor appeared at the lectern in front. That was literal; he did not walk in, he appeared in place. He had a lined face and gray hair, and looked very professorish. “Welcome to Pomegranate College,” the man said. “I am Professor Comodon, and this is your orientation session.”

  The room was silent. All of them very much wanted to know what this was all about.

  “You have been selected as applicants for admittance as students to Pomegranate College,” Comodon continued. “You will face a formidable entrance examination that will eliminate the great majority of you. As we are interested in giving you maximum opportunity to display your merit, we offer you several optional classes that will clarify aspects. More on that in a moment.”

  He took a breath. “The examination is in the form of a virtual reality game. There are a number of settings, each its own enclave with its own geography and rules, the whole making up the larger sphere. Think of it as a pomegranate; the enclaves are its seeds. This is the origin of the name. There are admittance passes hidden throughout the sphere; your challenge is to find them and present them to me, where I will pose one or more questions to you. Your answers to those questions will determine your status. In sum: find a pass, answer a question, and you are in. Fail in either, and you are out. Any questions?”

  A student raised a hand. “Yes, James,” the Professor said.

  Ike exchanged a look with Felony. Comodon already knew the applicants?

  Then he realized that the professor must have a seating chart. All of them had been led by their colored lines to their places.

  “Do we have to take the classes?” James asked.

  “No. You are free to search immediately for a pass. However I must advise you that it can be dangerous there. Monsters you have not seen before may attack and kill you. Your death in the setting will not harm you in your real life, but it will wash you out of the search, and you will not be admitted to Pomegranate College. So we seriously recommend that you attend some of the preparatory classes.”

  “Yeah, sure,” James said. “While other folk grab all the passes.” He got up and left. Several others did the same.

  Felony shook her head. “They are already washouts,” she whispered.

  The Professor glanced at her. “Perhaps, Felony,” he said. That shut her up. In fact she was blushing.

  Another hand rose. “Yes, Claudia,” the Professor said.

  “How much time to we have for those preparatory classes? I mean, if we have, like, an hour to find a pass, we can't use it up in a class.”

  “A thoughtful question, Claudia. You should have all the time you need. This introductory session will be an hour, after which you will be returned to your homes. Tomorrow there will be another hour, for those interested. These hourly sessions will be available for thirty days. We believe that any applicants who have not found their passes by that time probably would not find them if given more time.”

  Another hand rose. “Yes, Steven.”

  “So we'll have time for the classes. But what about the ones who are already looking? If we spend too much time in classes, there may be no passes left for us.”

  “This is true to an extent. But the passes are not easy to find or fetch. Some we think will not be found by anyone who has not attended and understood enough classes. So it is a gamble. You must judge how much time you can afford to spend improving your chances, before actually taking those chances.”

  Now Felony raised her hand. “Yes, Felony.”

  “May we work in teams, rather than alone? To better our chances?”

  “You may. However, most passes are singletons, so you may have to choose which of you gets the pass you find. Unless you hold it and continue looking for a second pass. This may be a gamble of a second sort: trusting your partner.”

  “Thank you.”

  The professor smiled, and Ike realized that Felony had been the first to thank him for his information. That indicated something about her: she was a nice person despite her cactus nature.

  Now Ike had a question. He raised his hand. “Yes, Ike.”

  “Maybe I missed it on the promo brochure, but I did not see any indication of where Pomegranate College is, or what it specializes in. Will you tell us?”

  “No.”

  “Then why should we be applying at all? This could be a scam.”

  There was a murmur of interest from the others. Ike had evidently asked a question they had had, but not had the courage to ask, and he had used provocative language. That could mark him for trouble.

  Comodon smiled. “Perhaps I should clarify that somewhat. We are looking for a very special type of student, and those who are admitted will receive full information. But we prefer to maintain a low profile, so are not giving information to others. But I will say that there are evidences of our nature and locale in this exam setting, so that you may achieve a notion if you are alert for it.”

  Ike nodded, not surprise
d. “Thank you.”

  There were no other questions. “About half an hour remains in this session,” the professor said. “You may use it as you please, to sample a class or explore the terrain. Good luck.”

  The others quickly scattered, but Ike and Felony remained. Felony raised her hand again.

  Comodon came over to them. “How may I help you?”

  “Will you recommend a class to sample first?”

  “Basic Laser Magic, in the next classroom.”

  “Thank you.” They did not ask whether the magic was literal or figurative; they could find out soon enough.

  They got up and moved to the adjacent classroom. It was empty except for its professor, a middle-aged balding man. He stood as they entered. “Greetings. I am Professor Entrep.”

  “We are Ike and Felony,” Ike said. “Professor Comodon recommended you.”

  “I shall be glad to oblige.” Entrep reached into a drawer and brought out two tubes the size of stubby wooden pencils. “These are laser stubs. When you squeeze the base, they project the beams.” Suddenly a beam of light appeared, extending about a foot from the stub. It scintillated in the air. “This is a sword. These are demonstrator models that will not damage a person. They do however invoke pain, so you know when they score.”

  The beam vanished. He handed the stub to Felony. “Try it.”

  Felony took the stub and squeezed. The beam appeared. It caught the top of one of the fingers of her other hand. “Ouch!”

  “Precisely,” Entrep agreed. “Handle with care.” He gave the other stub to Ike. “This is a different model.”

  Ike squeezed it. Light came, but not in the form of a sword. It was a globe about a foot in diameter that covered his hand and wrist. There was no pain.

  “Yours is a shield,” Entrep said. “Squeeze again.”

  Ike did so. The sphere expanded. Now it was a yard in diameter, and encompassed his arm up to the elbow.

  “You will note that you feel no pain,” Entrep said. “That is because you are wielding it. Anyone else would feel pain on contact.”

  “Let me try,” Felony said. She poked one forefinger gingerly at the sphere. “Ouch!”

  “The shield can be expanded to entirely enclose you. It represents protection from infringement by others. But there are limits.”

  “Anything inanimate can pass through?” Ike asked. “Like a spear, arrow, or physical sword?”

  “Exactly. Also another laser. So Felony could stab you through it, as long as she keeps her hand clear of its periphery.”

  “Could I use a sword laser and shine it through the shield?”

  “Yes. That would be an excellent combination. But that would occupy both your hands, and require fair coordination. You might be better off to specialize in one or the other, or at least, carry both but use only one at a time.”

  “There are dangers out there that a laser sword or shield could balk?” Felony asked.

  “Indeed. Anything animate. Since animals don't generally use spears, clubs, or arrows, the shield should hold them off.”

  “The course title is basic laser magic,” Ike said. “I see how basic relates, and laser. But magic?”

  “In a setting like this, magic may be feasible,” Entrep said. “Advanced science may be indistinguishable from magic. It is best to make no firm assumptions.”

  He was being evasive, but Ike took the warning. There was more here than was visible. “It strikes me that the shield could be more useful than the sword.”

  “That depends on how you use it,” Entrep said. “There are different settings. For example, you can set the shield to reflect a sword beam back on its wielder, reversing the thrust, as it were. Or it can be made hard and deflective, so as to repel outside things like stones or arrows. But the problem there is that you won't be able to use a sword from inside it. It requires considerable practice to become fully proficient.”

  Ike nodded. It might be worth it, if he enrolled in Pomegranate. Why had Comodon recommended this class? Was this a martial arts institution? That really wasn't what Ike was looking for.

  Entrep glanced at his watch. “I see our time is up. You will be welcome to explore laser magic further in future sessions if you wish to.”

  “Thank you,” Ike and Felony said almost together. They returned the stubs and left the classroom.

  No other candidates were in sight. They had either gone out to find passes, or simply gone home.

  “I wonder if Professor Comodon is still there,” Felony said.

  “Easy to check.” They peered in. “Yes.”

  “Something private I want to ask him.”

  “You're entitled. Don't forget that nothing is ultimately private in this setting.”

  She smiled. “It's something I'd like to surprise you with, next session. Something you might like.”

  Surprise him? That made him curious, but he knew better than to ask.

  Ike waited outside while Felony went into the classroom. She talked briefly with the professor, then returned to Ike. “He said okay.”

  “Good enough.” He would find out tomorrow. “I think our hour is not yet quite done. Care to take a scenic walk, get a notion what we're in for?”

  “May we hold hands?”

  He laughed. “Why not.” She obviously had not given up on a more intimate relationship.

  They walked out from the cluster of buildings, following a walk that seemed to be designed for a tour. It led to a perimeter that was sharply delineated. One side was scrupulously up-kept lawn, the other a ragged wild landscape. “That must be the badlands,” Ike said. “Where we'll have to search for passes.”

  “Where we may need sword and shield,” she agreed.

  The path looped around a spreading oak tree and tied back into itself. This was as far as it went. “We're not seeing the bad beasts,” Ike said. “They may be hiding, waiting for us to cross the line.”

  “Yes. We're not ready to risk it. That business with the laser weapons satisfied me that we do need further preparation.”

  “The other classes may have useful input too. I think it's best to sample them all before we venture farther.”

  “I agree.”

  “Now that we're alone, will you kiss me again?”

  “Felony, you know I told you--”

  “I must be blunt. I may have very little time to make my case. I do like you, Ike, and would like to be your girlfriend.” She held up her stop hand to forestall his protest. “I know you aren't interested now, but I may be able to impress you when you get to know me better. Please, let me try, in my fashion, when I can do so without making a public scene. If I can't impress you by the time we come to a decision about Pomegranate College, then we'll separate and that will be the end of it. But if I can impress you, I'd like to be your college roommate.”

  “Felony, that's getting way ahead of ourselves, even if I was hot for you.”

  “This time, when you kiss me, put your hands on my bottom. I've got the girl parts, and they will be yours at such time as you want them. So play this game with me, knowing you can end it unilaterally at any time.”

  He sighed inwardly. “As you wish.” He took her in his arms, put his hands on her buttocks, and kissed her.

  Again, it was a surprisingly mature kiss. Her body was tight against him, and her buttocks were singularly evocative. Her breasts might be small, her figure thin, but she did have a very nice butt. She was more than willing, which counted for a lot. Was sex possible in this setting?

  They broke. “I wonder,” he said.

  “I'm game. We can try it right now.” She wrapped her hand suggestively around his forefinger.

  That surprised him. Would she actually do it? True, this was virtual, however real it might seem, so it was safe. But by similar token, it was not private; everything was being broadcast to make them seem real to each other. That turned him off.

  “No,” he said with a certain regret. She might not be his type, but she had her points. He had
had a girlfriend, and lost her because, she said, he was too much for her; he wanted more than she could give, physically and emotionally. He had not really understood, but now, dealing with Felony, he was beginning to. If he had come across to Lucy the way Felony was coming across to him, then yes, he had been too pushy. Yet he was also flattered. Felony was smart and motivated; he surely could do worse. If only she had a better body.

  “Because we don't know each other well enough?”

  He smiled. “I suppose so.”

  “Because you don't want to commit to that extent?”

  “That, too.”

  “Because I don't have big boobs?”

  Honesty was best, he was sure. “That may be a factor.”

  “But that's not your main reason?”

  “It's that this may seem private, but it isn't, pretty much by definition. That makes me uncomfortable.”

  “Oh, damn! You're right. Again I had the questions, you had the answer.”

  “I'm sorry. If we really were private, then the other reasons might apply.”

  “Maybe sometime we will be. But you're right: this is not the occasion. I wouldn't have come on to you like that if I had thought it through. I'm embarrassed.”

  There wasn't much he could say to that, so he changed the subject. “Do you think we can get away with crossing the line? The campus boundary, I mean.”

  “I know what you mean. Let's explore.”

  They stepped gingerly across the line. Nothing happened. They walked toward a gnarled tree.

  Felony paused. “Do you hear that?”

  Now he became aware of it. A sort of faint scratching coming from behind the tree. That made him nervous. “Let's back off, quietly.”

  They retreated. That must have alerted the predator, because suddenly a monstrous running bird darted out from behind the tree. It stood taller than a man, had a large head, and a ferocious sharp beak.

  “Run!” Ike cried.

  But Felony was frozen in place, staring at the dreadful bird as if mesmerized.

  There was no time to argue. Ike leaned down, grabbed her about the waist, hauled her up, and lumbered for the campus line. He got there just before the bird did. They fell across it together. Ike tried to face the bird, to defend them from its onslaught, but knew it was hopeless.