by Vivian Wood
“So that’s how long you’ve been seeing her?” Eli asked. His eyes bore into Henry and searched for the truth.
“Yeah. Just a month.”
“Just a month,” Eli repeated. “Just a month. A month is a long time. How can I take you seriously when you’ve been doing this for a month and never told me?”
“It’s not like I had many chances,” Henry said.
“Don’t you dare make excuses.” Eli’s eyes had a wildness to them that put Henry on edge. It made him want to lie to keep himself safe, but he could see Eli wasn’t going to allow that.
“Fine. You’re right. I’m… I’m sorry. Truly, Eli. I’m really sorry.”
“Sorry that you didn’t tell me?”
“Yes. And for… fuck, for just loving her. I’m sorry.” The words slipped out of him as if he had no control. Eli’s eyes grew bigger when he heard the word “love,” but he couldn’t nearly be as shocked as Henry. Did he love her? Yes. Of course he did. He’d known it for a while now.
“God, Henry,” Eli said. He sat down on a concrete ledge and dropped his head into his hands. “You think I don’t know my sister’s a great girl? You think I was happy when she’d chosen that imbecile Sean?”
“She told me Sean was pretty much the only guy you’d let around her,” Henry said. Carefully, he lowered himself next to Eli.
Eli let out a snort. “Let her? I don’t know what she told you, or what she really thinks, but there’s no letting Ellie do anything. Ultimately, she’s going to do what she wants to do. I think she just tries to placate me by letting me sometimes go all big brother on her.”
“So you didn’t like Sean?” Henry asked.
“Hell no. Did you ever meet that little weasel? Honestly, I think Ellie was the only one who was surprised by the whole him getting caught fucking some local thing.”
“Why didn’t you say something to her, then?” Henry asked. “You know. Before she was all packed to move in with the guy.”
“Man,” Eli said. “You never stick with first love. Puppy love. It’s stupid. She had to learn that for herself. I was just waiting for the fallout. And just… I’m just glad it happened before they were living together, married or something like that.”
“Yeah,” Henry said, even though he didn’t have any idea. He’d never loved anyone before. Was Eli insinuating that he was stupid to fall for Ellie so fast?
“So you love her, huh?” Eli asked.
“I do.”
“I could have handled you two being together, you know,” Eli said. “I don’t know if it was you or her more worried about the whole thing, but you both should have known better.”
“I think it was more me than her,” Henry said. “She—I think she was scared to tell you about her being with anyone.”
“You really should have known better,” Eli said. “What, do you think I’m one of those creepy older brothers who locks a chastity belt on his baby sister or something? Come on, Henry. That’s messed up. I worry about her, sure. But she’s grown. I just want her to be happy.”
“I’m sorry,” Henry said again.
“I’m not—I’m not pissed about you two being together anymore,” Eli said. “It was a shock, and then when I found out about it because of the whole problem thing. Well, it exacerbated the situation.”
“I get that,” Henry said. “I didn’t—I didn’t know she was pregnant, either. I didn’t know anything about this.”
“But the lying,” Eli continued, “that’s something else. I don’t… I don’t know if that’s as easy to forgive.”
Henry nodded.
“Would you have ever told me? If she hadn’t gotten pregnant, had the emergency, would you have said anything?”
“I don’t know,” Henry said.
“Yes, you do.”
“It depends, I guess,” Henry said. “Before this, I was kind of under the impression she was done with me. It hurt. You know? At first I thought it was just a bruised ego, but really it’s because I’m so goddamned in love with her.”
“So…”
“Honestly? If this was it, if she never spoke to me again, I don’t know if I’d ever tell you. Probably not. And that’s a cowardly thing to do, I know, but I’m being truthful. What good would come of it?”
“Probably not a whole lot,” Eli agreed.
“But… if somehow? We’d gotten back together without this? I’m sure it would have come out eventually. I don’t know how, and I never thought about it in earnest. It was… different at your cabin. Like the rest of the world had stopped.”
“That’s something else I’m worried about,” Eli said. “It’s pretty easy to get all caught up in something when you have no responsibilities, no obligations, no nothing but a single distraction.” Eli looked bluntly at Henry. “What the hell do you think the two of you are going to do now? Here? In the real world?”
“I don’t know,” Henry said. “Up until now, until I found out about everything… I thought we were over.”
“You’re drowning,” Eli said. “Flailing.”
“I know that’s how it looks,” Henry said. “But believe me. I’m not. I was for years, but… now, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m finally getting to solid ground.”
“You’re really in for it,” Eli said. “I know you think you know Ellie, but you don’t know her like I do. She’s a great kid—sorry, woman—but she’s a handful. She’s going to have you wrapped around her finger so tight you’re not going to know which way is up.”
Henry couldn’t help it. He smiled at the idea of it. “I understand,” he said. “All of it. Really, Eli. Thank you for hearing me out, and I get everything you’re saying—I really do. But… I can’t help how I feel. She’s incredible.”
Eli looked at him and just shook his head. “Well. I wish you luck.” Henry watched Eli head back to the stairs. The solid door opened right as he arrived and a guard in all black led him inside.
Henry sighed and looked up at the nearly cloudless sky. Above him, the birds swooped and soared with a mixture of power and grace. The planes taking off and landing from Reagan didn’t even come close to the kind of beauty those wild things exhibited. Up here, the sounds of the world below were dimmed. Henry could make out the occasional horn blaring and the wails of the ambulances as they raced toward the hospital entrance. But it was just static. White noise. He could do this. With Ellie, he could quiet all those other distractions and just be.
His phone buzzed. It was Ryan. Which one of you died? he texted.
Henry sighed and stood up. As he walked down the staircase and back to Ellie’s floor to wait and see if she called, his phone lit up again. Srsly tho u guys cool?? Clearly, Ryan had taken to texting and driving. Maybe he’d get the waiting room to himself then and not be forced into chatter. Or worse, a line of questioning.
The waiting room was empty, save for a young blonde engulfed in last month’s celebrity gossip magazine. She glanced up at him. He knew that look instantly.
“Hey,” she said as she lowered the magazine. “Who are you waiting for?”
“My girlfriend,” Henry said. These were the most beautiful words ever spoken.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Are you sure?” she asked the nurse.
“Of course I’m sure,” the nurse said. “They wouldn’t be discharging you if you weren’t ready.”
Ellie wasn’t so sure. It had only been two days, and she still didn’t feel like herself. Plus, reality waited outside those doors.
“Baby, you’re gonna be just fine,” said the nurse. “I know it’s hard. And I know it’s scary. But you had a close one. I’d call you lucky.” The nurse winked at her. She was in her sixties and had been at this hospital for forty years. Ellie had asked her about it one night when she was on graveyard. She couldn’t imagine being anywhere for forty years.
They were all there again for the big release. Ellie wasn’t certain, but it seemed like things had cooled down between Eli and Henry.
She’d asked them both about it when they visited—separately—after that first day, but they both refused to talk. It’s like an entire conspiracy against me. And since Eli was who he was, that was entirely plausible.
“Ellie, you look so good!” her mom cooed in that way only moms could. She knew she looked like crap.
“Thanks,” she said. “Just wait ’til you see this massive scar on my side. I’m sure it’ll be the latest trend.”
“You ready to go?” her mom asked. Ryan picked up her purse.
“Actually…” Ellie said. “I was thinking, maybe Henry could give me a ride.” She thought she heard Eli give a huff, but she wasn’t certain.
“Oh!” her mom said, her face crestfallen. “Well. Sure. If that’s what you want.”
“Maybe you should be with your family—” Henry started, but she cut him off.
“My call,” she said. “Besides, we have a lot of talking to do.” Her family considered the tension between them, but they didn’t protest.
“Well, you take good care of her,” her mom told Henry. In a rush, she grabbed Henry and hugged him fiercely. She’d known Henry as long as Eli had, but it was the first time Ellie had seen her act so warmly toward him. Usually, she treated him like she barely noticed he was around. “Are you two going to be home for dinner at least?”
“I’d rather not make any plans right now,” Ellie said.
“Fair enough. Call me, at least. Let me know what’s happening.”
“Okay, Mom.”
“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Ryan said as he walked to the elevator between their mom and Eli.
Henry helped her into the SUV. It didn’t have a step, so he lifted her carefully and avoided the tenderness from the surgery. “I feel like an old woman,” Ellie grumbled. She’d gotten used to taking care of herself recently.
“You’ll be back up and at it in no time,” Henry said. “Enjoy the pampering while you can.”
“How far is it?” she asked. It was strange that she’d never been to his house before. But after the fallout at the diabetes fundraiser, she thought she never would. Not that she hadn’t fantasized about it. She imagined that it didn’t look like a bachelor owned it. Maybe brick and full of wild vines and plants, hinting that Henry wasn’t incapable of such deep caring after all. Ellie had imagined that his plates were mismatched and some were chipped, but since he never entertained he didn’t care. He’d have a favorite coffee mug, and it would be the most hideous one—but it was special because there was a secret story behind it.
“Not very far,” he said. He was visibly nervous, but she was, too. Ten minutes later, Henry pulled into a reserved space outside a charming brownstone.
“It’s like I pictured,” she said. Ellie peered up the narrow cobblestone walkway from the passenger seat. Wrought iron rails outlined the concrete steps, and a hanging basket of flowers hung above the front door.
“How you pictured?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I liked to imagine your home. It tells so much about a person.”
Ellie continued to stare out the window. She noticed the beveled glass of the front windows and the hummingbird feeder attached to an upstairs bay window. Don’t chicken out. Tell him. Tell him how you feel. She drew in a breath and forced it past the lump in her throat.
Henry turned off the ignition. When she turned toward him, he already had his hand on the door. “Henry. I… I understand if you don’t feel that way about me,” she said. “I know the whole surgery thing…” she couldn’t bring herself to say baby, “got everything all mixed up again. If you don’t have feelings for me, that doesn’t really matter—”
He quieted her by kissing her senseless. It felt like it had been so long since she’d had him like this. It wasn’t rushed. Better yet, it wasn’t some dirty secret. When he pulled away to gaze at her, his finger tracing her jawline, she felt that familiar tug on her heart again.
“Sorry,” he said. “I had to figure out some way to get a word in.”
She laughed. “Sorry, yeah. I babble when I’m nervous.”
“What have you got to be nervous about?” he asked.
“You know. This,” she said, and gestured between them.
“You’re nervous now?” he asked. “You’ve got a funny sense of things. Come on.”
“But Eli—”
“Eli? Eli and I are good. Or, at least we will be.”
She went still. “Really? When did that happen?”
“Hey,” he said. “Do you really think I would have risked the only real friendship I have, would have alienated my best friend, over anything other than the real deal?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I love you!”
“Really?” she asked. Her heart gushed. Please be real. Please be real.
“Yes! Of course! Do I have to spell it out for you?”
“Yes, please,” she said. Her lips curled up in a smile.
“I love you, kitten. What can I say? And I’m… I’m going to be around for as long as you’ll have me. Okay?”
Ellie didn't trust herself to speak. It was all she’d ever wanted, and now it was happening. She wanted to press pause, to make the world stop so she could memorize everything. The shirt he was wearing, and how his hand rested on the steering wheel. How he shook his leg up and down nervously. All she could manage was a nod. She leaned over and kissed him. Their lips met in perfect synchronicity. She couldn’t believe there was a time when all she wished for were those lips on hers, and now she could have it forever. “I love you, too.” It was all she needed to say.
“Come on,” he said. “You ready to meet Aunt Mary?”
“Aunt Mary?” she asked. “Wait a minute. I thought she...”
“What?” he asked. He looked at her confused.
“I thought she was dead,” Ellie said in a low whisper.
Henry busted out laughing. “Dead? I never said that!”
Actually, she guessed he hadn’t. She’d just assumed. He talked about her in the past tense all the time. “I guess not,” she said. “Sorry. I just… I always pictured you living alone. Kind of sad and…”
“Kitten,” he said as he placed his hand on her thigh. “I know I’m a pretty big project, but I’m not that much of a mess. Aunt Mary had cancer when I was a teenager, so there was a time when I took care of her instead of the usual other way around. She had a surgery that made it uncomfortable for her to sit for long, so that’s why she stopped dropping me off.”
“Oh.” Ellie blushed with embarrassment. “So… you live with her?”
“Not really,” Henry said. “She spends a lot of time at my place now, though. When I joined the military, she needed someone around on a regular basis to help her out. She’s usually with me on the weekends. But, actually… I think it’s time she moved in with me though. I’m not active anymore, and she needs to be around family.” He looked at her sheepishly. “I’m a mama’s boy at heart, what can I say? Or aunt’s boy in this case. So. Ready?”
Ellie chewed at her lip. She was nervous for an entirely different reason now. She pulled down the mirror and examined her face. “Henry, I look like crap,” she said. What was his aunt going to think?
“You look great!” he said. “Besides, you have nothing to worry about. She’ll love you because I do. She’s going to love the person who makes me this happy.”
Ellie smiled. Maybe he was right.
“You trust me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good. She’s been cooking since ten this morning, so I hope you’re hungry.”
A roar went through Ellie’s stomach at the mention of food. She was famished. The hospital food had, sadly, lived up to its reputation. She’d been subsisting off of Jell-O and stale Hawaiian rolls for two days. “Oh? So I’m finally going to get a peek at what your real life is like, huh?” she asked. “Where it all started.”
“That’s right. And, I probably shouldn’t tell you this. It’s probably to my own detrime
nt. But she’s going to love telling you embarrassing stories about me as a kid.”
“This I need to hear,” Ellie said. Henry came around to her side, opened her door, and lifted her down. The surgery site pinched slightly, and she put her hand to her abdomen.
“Sore?” he asked.
“I’m okay.” It saddened her to think that’s where their baby was just a couple of days prior.
“I’m sorry, kitten,” he said. She brushed off the feeling. It was a part of her now, this scar. One day, she knew she’d appreciate it and it would bring only joy—not melancholy. It would just take time, like everything else. She had learned how to get better at that. At waiting. It was a little easier now that she knew for a fact how sweet the end result could be. She looked up at Henry, amazed that he was finally hers. For real. For keeps.
“So. What’s she making?” she asked as Henry guided her up the walk. His hand enveloped hers, warm and protecting.
“Your absolute favorite,” he said.
“What’s that?”
Henry pulled at her hand slightly when they reached the landing and winked at her. “Pasta with bolognese sauce.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
It was amazing how quickly a month could pass by, or how agonizingly slow. Slow when you were shrouded in heartbreak, lovesick for the person you were certain had abandoned you. And fast, so fast, when caught up in passion. It had only been a month since Ellie had been discharged from the hospital, and here she was, saying goodbye to Eli and Meredith.
They hadn’t been back in their family home since Eli had taken office. “Oh, I’m going to miss you so much!” Meredith said as she hugged Ellie tight.
“Mer!” Ellie said. “I’m just going to California. Not Calcutta.”
“I know!” Meredith said. “But still. It’ll be strange, not having you just a few miles away.”
Ellie watched Henry hug Eli goodbye before they slapped one another on the back. She wasn’t sure exactly how everything had unfolded with them, but she’d come to realize it didn’t matter. Whatever it was, that was their relationship. She had to get used to the idea that they had a little lifetime of memories and togetherness before her. Sam had asked if that made her jealous, but it didn’t. It was comforting in a way, to see all the people she loved intertwined in different ways.”