“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked as she moved the penlight back and forth, studying my pupil’s reaction.
“About what?”
I knew what she meant. The simple answer was that I didn’t, but I had a feeling she already knew that – just wanted to see if I would talk about it all willingly.
Turning off the light, she reached out and placed the penlight back in its home on the wall, brown eyes piercing me with the pressure from the weight of the world on my shoulders. I only stared back, waiting for her to say the words. When her lips parted, and she took in a sharp breath, I knew she’d try to get anything out of me that she could by any means. Nitrile rippled against my skin as her hand grazed mine in a swift show of solidarity before she turned away and began to put everything away.
“The serum they gave you is a lot like the one given to Caius five years ago. The old formula was created by Doctor Nobu Tee of Fuji-O’Hara Industries.” She stood, turned, leaned against the counter behind her, and crossed her arms over her chest. “You met Doctor Tee.”
I nodded. “I did.”
I kept my face carefully blank, immovable, but on the inside, the name brought beastly images and sensations.
“That Nobu is a brilliant man, but so faithful to King and blinded by the power he has given him that his morals and ethics barely resemble the oath he took as a doctor and scientist. King says jump, Nobu says from what bridge.” She shook her head and looked down at the floor, then back up to me. “It’s a damn shame.”
I didn’t know what to say. I had a feeling she wasn’t done speaking though, so I sat there on the chilly examination table and watched her carefully. She had changed so much since the first moments I met her, or maybe this was how she always was, and the rest was a show for King. Her hair had gotten a tad longer. Her skin, while still beautifully perfect, was slightly tinged with the sun and begrudging work. Tired brown eyes that used to sparkle with intrigue scrutinized me through clear lenses – glasses perched lightly on the bridge of her delicately sloping nose. The changes weren’t only physical. I could see the internal change in the way she stood as well as the way she walked and the way she spoke. She had been broken down to her barest bones, and to be honest, so had I. So had most of us.
“From what I’ve gathered, the serum has a short half-life. A lot longer than most drugs on the market or in the underground, but less than I had expected. Your power will come back to you in a couple days once the serum runs its course. I guess they never tested how long the effects would last because they created it for someone that they hoped wouldn’t survive past their usefulness.”
“Do you really think we have that kind of time?” I asked skeptically, my eyebrows rising with the shock of her admission.
“God,” she sighed again, “I have no idea. Dead End is our last stand, and we are lucky King hasn’t found us out yet. Of course, your mother made certain there was complete tree cover to cover our tracks. And she chose this place as a last resort for a reason. So, we may have the time, but we may not. Only time will tell.”
“I don’t think I want to find out,” I muttered. “Is there anything we can do to speed this up?”
“In all honesty, I don’t know, but I do have one question for you.”
“And that is?”
“Are you actually ready? Emotionally? Psychologically?” she questioned.
“Yes,” I replied abruptly.
The single word passed through my lips as soon as the last syllable left hers, without a single thought or hesitation. She tilted her head down slightly, judging me and my quick reaction over the rims of her glasses.
I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, truly pondering over it. Was I ready for war? Was I ready for the burden my ability had placed on me since the day I was born? Since conception? This had to be the only result after that moment, right? It seemed true enough, but was I ready for the pinnacle of my existence fueled by horror, blood, gore, and human grief of such magnitude it could shatter mountains like a volcanic blast? All my experience up to that point had been building up to it. There was no way around that, and there was no way to stop it. I was prepared, or we were all dead at King’s feet. For me, there was no alternative to our survival and freedom.
Staring into her deep browns and taking a deep, steadying breath, I said, “I don’t have a choice but to be ready. None of us do. It’s either we do something, or we wait for King to rain Hell down on us. Those are the only options, and I know which I’d prefer.”
A slow smile crept onto Doctor Aserov’s lips, her brilliantly white teeth gleaming under the fluorescent lights. At that moment, her eyes finally lit up – something I hadn’t witnessed in quite some time. If it weren’t for the direness of our situation, I would have thought she was genuinely happy. I knew better. Especially since I felt the same way. I smirked back at her and sat with my back bone-straight, watching the woman as her breath quickened and excitement began to show in her posture.
“You’re just like your mother. I hope you know that,” Madeline said, pushing away from the counter she had been leaning on. “There isn’t an ounce of that vile man in you.”
I sighed, thinking of the same darkness I had witnessed in myself that I could directly contribute to Emerson King’s influence on my genes.
“I wish you were right,” I replied.
The good doctor’s eyes lost their sparkle, but the smile only slightly wavered at the corners. Awkward tension moved through the room, sending a chill up my spine that caused goosebumps to surface on my arms. It was as if the man’s presence loomed over us just at the mere mention of him. I shook the visage away, not sure what to say next to pick the moment back up where it had left off. Even though nothing seemed or felt right anymore, it didn’t stop me from wanting to infuse happiness of any sort into as many free moments as I could. We were all war-torn and miserable – tired – and once this was all said and done, things would change. Hopefully for the better.
Doctor Aserov shook her head, as if shrugging off the shadow that had crept over us both, and lifted the corners of her mouth to show off the same perfect smile she had just seconds before. It was a mask. A beautiful, perfect mask, but a mask nonetheless.
“No need to worry.” She reached forward and placed her hand on mine, giving it a squeeze. “I will solve this, and you’ll have your ability back before you know it. I don’t care what it takes.”
Hopping down from the examination table, I felt a painful jab in my remaining leg, causing me to wince. My hand went down to the place where my leg met my prosthetic as if it could make the pain stop. It wouldn’t, but the heat from my palm was a small comfort.
“You sound optimistic,” I groaned.
“It’s not like I’m a soldier, Mila,” she started. “The science and the medicine are all I have. So, whatever I have to do in the lab to solve a problem, I will. That goes double for you. Your mother had done so much for me I feel like this is my way of giving back.”
Standing up, I looked straight into the woman’s face and ignored the small twinge in my leg.
“You do enough, Madeline. Giving back isn’t necessary.”
She waved her hand dismissively and put her arms out, ushering me out of the room.
“Go rest, get off that leg. I’m sure Ryder would love to spend some alone time with you. He’s extremely worried, and you officially have a clean bill of health. I will see you tomorrow and hopefully we have some answers. Sound good?”
“I…I…guess,” I stuttered.
My feet crossed the threshold, and with one small push, I was in the middle of the hallway – Ryder waiting just across the hall. He leaned against the wall, one foot kicked up onto the wall behind him with hands stuffed into his pockets. I hadn’t seen him as Doctor Aserov rushed me out of the room, too focused on staying on my feet than anyone that could be
lingering just outside.
His lips spread into a slow, crooked smile that made my knees nearly melt out from underneath me.
“Hey,” he crooned, green eyes smoldering.
“Hey,” I responded, my cheeks warming as if I were a schoolgirl with a crush. “I had no idea you’d be out here.”
Reaching his hand out, he took mine gently in his and said, “I thought you’d like an escort back to our room. Maybe have a few moments of silence before we pass out for the night.”
We began to walk, Ryder pulling me in the direction of our room one turn and a hallway away from our current position. He swung our arms playfully while his thumb grazed my knuckles lovingly.
“You know, Doctor Aserov said I need to get off the leg,” I began, giving my amputated leg a small little pat, “and get some rest.”
“Not a problem.” He shrugged. “Not like anything I had planned requires us to be vertical.”
“What a line!” I squealed, slapping his arm playfully.
Ryder chuckled low in his throat, bringing my attention to his Adam’s Apple that bobbed a little with the laughter. His eyes shifted, and just like that, we stood next to the door to our room – the dark wood warm and inviting. It beckoned me into the room beyond, calling me to a restful night of sleep hopefully not plagued with nightmares and post-traumatic ramblings. Hopefully not another seizure. Under the door, I could see the sliver of light from within our room, hinting that at least one of the bedside lamps were on. Dropping my hand, he stepped forward, turned the knob, and pushed the door open with a flirtatious flourish – motioning to it with a slight bow.
“After you, milady,” he jested.
It was adorable, and I couldn’t stop the giggle that leaped from my throat. He was trying to make me feel better, and I hated to admit it was working. The guilt that blossomed in my chest when I moved past him caused the laughter and the smile I had been sporting to fade just as swiftly as they appeared.
“Thank you,” I muttered, feigning a curtsy as I turned toward him.
It was clumsy and idiotic with the prosthetic leg, but Ryder didn’t seem to notice my unease. That, or he decided to act as if it didn’t exist. Like if he didn’t notice, then I shouldn’t be so uncomfortable, which was much easier said than done. He shut the door with a soft click and watched me carefully, his eyes scanning me as if I would shatter into a million pieces. It was true enough. I was barely holding together with yarn and scotch tape. There was no way to know what it would take for every part of me to come crashing down around him. He’d pick up the pieces, sure, but could he keep them together?
Raising his hand, Ryder sauntered toward me. I froze, unsure of myself or what he was doing. Or what he intended. His face was sullen, his mouth turned down in a frown instead of the smile he had been wearing not even a moment ago.
“What is it?” I asked.
He was silent, standing in front of me when his fingers grazed the puckered, scarred injection site of Doctor Tee’s serum. I hadn’t noticed it in my frenzy but felt it as his fingertips moved over the raised flesh. It was circular with a small divet in the center where the needle penetrated. I shivered, and he must have taken it for discomfort because he began to move his hand away. Taking his hand in mine, I pressed his palm against the scar, and my heart beat frantically against my ribs.
“It’s okay,” I whispered.
He looked uncomfortable but refused to pull away from me again. Like if he wasn’t touching me, I would float away and disappear. His eyes flitted up to mine, then back to where I held his hand in place.
“It doesn’t hurt?” he asked.
“Not at all,” I replied.
“Is that where they…?”
“Injected the serum?” I interjected.
He only bobbed his head in answer.
“Yeah, it is.”
He closed his eyes, and his nostrils flared, pushing warm air out so hard I felt it brush my skin.
“Hey,” I whispered to grab his attention.
Ryder opened his eyes and looked at me. I could see the blue that the serum infused into my own reflected in his, but it was dimmer than it had been. Not by much, but enough for me to notice. Maybe it wouldn’t take as long to leave my system as Doctor Aserov thought.
“What is it?” I asked him.
The fury in his gaze was obvious, causing his green eyes to flare to life with heat and the flames of the hatred and wrath burning inside him.
“I feel helpless, Mila. When you were gone, I thought we had lost you. I was sure they’d kill you, but when Baker told us what their plan was, we knew we had to act fast. Without him, we wouldn’t have found you in time. I hate King and those bastards at Fuji-O’Hara for what they did to you. I can’t get the image of you in that reactor out of my head. I was so scared.”
Leaning forward, he placed his forehead against mine and breathed in deep as if he was attempting to memorize my scent.
“So was I,” I breathed.
“I know it may be the wrong time, but I need you to do something for me,” Ryder said.
Leaning away from him, but still holding his hand over my chest, I answered, “And what’s that?”
He sighed and caressed my cheek with his free hand.
“I need you to give Baker a chance. Now, before you get all worked up, I need you to hear me out.”
I wanted to fume. I wanted to get angry, but I couldn’t. If it were possible, I was somehow in a better place now than I had been, even in the midst of an oncoming war.
“He fought so hard to find us, and he brought your sister back to you. He has all this information about King and Fuji-O’Hara that we would’ve never been able to get our hands on. Especially now with this being our last resort. Dead End is it, Mila. This is all we have to fight our war with, and I think Baker could be one of the best resources we have.”
He was right. I knew it. Everyone knew it, and there was no denying the fact.
“I know, I should give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s just, whenever I see him, I see him trying to kill us in Charleston. I can’t shake it.”
“And I don’t blame you. I did too, at first. But he brought you back to me and brought your sister back. He can’t be all that bad, and I’m sure he would be willing to explain himself to you like he did us. You just need to give him a chance. Do you think that’s something you can do?”
“Maybe I can,” I lamented, wrapping my arms around his neck. “And what about that man with him? Ruckus?”
Ryder grinned sheepishly, “Yeah, he’s a good man. War vet. Someone we can trust, considering his history.”
“Oh, is that it?” I chortled.
“Well, that and he hates King’s guts.”
“That’s definitely helpful. Plus, I think I freak him out.”
“Well, you were a little scary earlier,” he laughed.
“The glowing eyes helped with that,” I answered, using one hand to gesture at my radiant blues.
Ryder’s face changed, shifting from a jovial expression to one of serious detriment.
“I like you better with green,” he stated, so serious in his tone that I felt I could cut the tension in the air with a knife.
“I know,” I whispered as I brushed his hair softly away from his forehead. “I’m sorry. It was a joke.”
“Just promise me one thing, Mila.”
“What’s that?”
His jaw clenched and then unclenched as his beautiful, full lips parted and he took a breath in – his lungs expanding with the sweet sound of life.
“Don’t try to go into this fight alone. I know you, and I know you’ll push me aside because you want to keep me safe. I want you to promise me that you won’t do that. Let me fight alongside you. I don’t care what happens.”
His
breathing was heavy as if the words alone caused him anxiety. His gaze never faltered. He stared at me, and never once looked away as I scanned his expression for any hint of weakness. There wasn’t any.
“I promise.”
He smirked. That adorable crooked smile that made me feel like I would agree to anything.
“That’s my girl.”
Chapter
SIXTEEN
A loud knock on the door startled me awake, pulling me from a dream I knew I would never remember. Ryder shot to a sitting position with a sharp inhale, looking right at the wooden door between us and whoever was making so much noise.
“What the actual fuck?” Ryder whispered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and shooting to his feet.
When I made a move to throw the comforter off me, he stopped me with a wave of his hand. Walking to the door in only his boxers, the lithe stealth of his military training had never vanished. His muscles moved smoothly under his flesh, almost as if they were rolling instead of contracting.
“I got it. Go back to sleep.”
“But we don’t know what it’s about,” I hissed. “Ryder.”
“Just, stay there,” he said pointedly.
I turned and began placing the sleeve and prosthetic on my leg when Ryder swung the door open, revealing an excited Gaia and a resigned Genevieve, whom I hadn’t seen since my arrival at Dead End. Her pink hair was just as radiant, but her eyes had lost their sparkle completely – skin covered in an array of scratches and bruises from the crash. I could see the irritation in the set of Ryder’s shoulders, almost hunched up around his ears, and ready to strike like an angry snake.
“This better be good. Your sister is resting,” Ryder stated, the frustration in his tone almost turning the room cold.
“Ummm, it’s noon, Ryder,” Gaia responded. “And, as you stated, she’s my sister.”
The Clash (The Permutation Archives Book 5) Page 12