The Clash (The Permutation Archives Book 5)

by Kindra Sowder

  I nodded. “Absolutely, but…”

  “But…?”

  “For now, I actually need to grab Cecilia and Julius.”

  Ajax’s eyebrows rose, and he bobbed his head. “I see.” Turning back toward the small group, he motioned toward my two friends. “Julius. Cecilia. You’re being summoned.”

  They looked at one another nervously, as if they were in trouble of some kind, but made their way in my direction regardless. It made me wonder if they had done something I should be angry about. I shook away the thought and patiently waited for their arrival before me, which didn’t take long once they had made their way completely around the mat. All activity in the room had stalled, which made Ajax sigh with annoyance, his lips forming a grim line.

  “Did I say stop? Get back to it,” he yelled. “You think you don’t have to be prepared for war? Especially now that Hunter is back? You’ve got another think coming. Your schedule has just been bumped up!”

  I chuckled as the others began to take their places once more, trying their best to ignore me. It wasn’t working. A few still shot anxious glances my way.

  Before I could react, Cecilia threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me in a firm embrace. Almost so tight I couldn’t breathe.”

  “Oh, I’m so happy you’re okay,” she practically squealed. “I was so worried.”

  “Can’t…breathe,” I choked.

  “Oh,” she gasped, releasing me so quickly I nearly stumbled backward, “I’m so sorry. I just got excited, that’s all.”

  “It’s okay,” I laughed, looking to Julius.

  He hung back a little, waiting for Cecilia’s excited antics to end before stepping in to wrap me in a much softer hug – like I was made of glass and he was afraid I’d crack.

  “Hey,” he breathed into my hair. “You look like you’re doing better,” he continued as he backed away.

  “Yeah, much,” I answered. “I see everyone heard about my little…episode.”

  I looked past my friends to the few who had still shot nervous eyes my way. Julius glanced back and looked at me guiltily, while Cecilia rolled her eyes and glared at those who couldn’t keep their eyes off us.

  “Word spreads fast around here,” Cecilia apologized.

  “I see that.”

  Julius eyed me for a moment, obviously looking me over for any other remnants of what had happened to me beside my glowing eyes. Other than the remaining tiny nicks and scrapes, that was all, and I didn’t want to dwell on the effects of the serum either.

  “You look okay, except for…” he drifted off, pointing at his own gray orbs.

  “That’s because I am,” I responded. “I actually have a favor to ask you guys.”

  Both of them looked around to make certain no one was paying attention. They weren’t. The sounds of a fight started up again during our chat, but I couldn’t talk to them here. Not about this. No one needed to know about it until after it was all said and done. And after we saw if the procedure actually worked or not. There was no telling what it would do. It could turn me into a monster for all we knew. Another one of King’s pets to do with what he wishes because it can’t help but obey his orders. I shuddered at the thought.

  Leaning in, I whispered, “Is there anywhere we can speak,” I paused, “in private?”

  Julius’ brow furrowed for a second while Cecilia’s eyes widened. Then, it was like a light bulb had flashed above his head, and he held up his index finger like he just had an aha moment.

  “Follow me,” he said with a grin.

  With that, he spun on his heel and began to walk in the direction of the double doors I had just come through. Of course, I had no idea where I was going, so I decided to follow them blindly. Cecilia’s eyes lit up as if we were about to share a secret that was only meant for the three of us. Of course, that was exactly what it was, but I was certain others would know about it soon enough if I could count on how quickly secrets spread. Especially when it came to the new leadership who hadn’t exactly taken her place yet.

  I would because I had to. And because my mother had wanted me to. If it weren’t for those two things, I wouldn’t at all. If anyone could run the place, it was Fairbanks, and I’d leave it to him if I had a choice in the matter.

  Lost in my thoughts, we came to a stop, and I nearly collided with Cecilia with a small yelp of surprise. Julius had led us to an unknown part of the building, at least to me, and opened one of the wooden doors wide so that Cecilia and I could file in.

  “In here. This is about as private as it’s gonna get,” he stated.

  Cecilia walked in without a second thought, but I was cautious. I didn’t know enough about the place not to be. I stepped through the threshold slowly, Julius coming in right at my back and shutting the door softly behind him. The room was small – half the size of the lab I previously walked out of – the walls covered in world maps and photos of men and women of history. The biggest clue as to how old this building truly was being the fact that there wasn’t a photo at the front of the room of our current President, Emerson King. Not even a mention of him plastered on the walls. The floors were still covered in weathered, speckled blue and white linoleum that was still present in the schools of today but showed its age. Light brown dirt lined the corners of each tile, and the seams were black with grime. Obviously, when they took over, they hadn’t been able to get the floors completely clean.

  Desks were evenly spaced in rows facing an aging dry-erase board. The projector hanging from the ceiling pointed in the same direction, some of the cables frayed beyond repair – probably never used when the building was repurposed for us.

  I stopped in the middle of the room, coming to stand in front of one of the small desks. Someone had carved doodles into its surface. Reaching out, I traced my fingers over the one of a rabbit with a backward baseball cap on. I didn’t understand it, but a part of me wanted to laugh, especially when I caught sight of the large buck teeth. It made me think of when I was in school. The punishment for defacing school property would have been harsh. Much harsher than the detention I knew came with acts such as this before King’s rule.

  “So, what is it you wanted to talk to us about?” Julius asked, taking a seat on one of the student desks.

  It groaned slightly in protest but stopped after a few seconds.

  “Is everything all right?” Cecilia questioned.

  I looked between the two of them. Cecilia still stood, leaning slightly on the teacher’s desk at the front of the room and drumming her fingers delicately on the wood. Another thing I hadn’t noticed, both of them were dressed in black tanks and cargo pants with matching boots. It made me hyper-aware of my shorts and the same tank top with shoes that barely qualified as such.

  My attire would have to change if I was going to be taken seriously.

  “Well,” I cleared my throat, “Doctor Aserov found a way to work the serum out of my system faster, but I wanted to talk to you both about something before the treatment starts.”

  Silence greeted me as they watched me, waiting for me to continue. Sweat broke out across my skin, resulting in cold chills that sprouted goosebumps over my entire body. A stampede rumbled in my chest, blood rushing through my ears in a whoosh of sound.

  Taking a deep, steadying breath, I began to explain as best I could. I didn’t know the ins and outs – or the science – of it all, but I could at least explain the bare minimum that they needed to know. And ask what I needed to ask of them.

  “Doctor Aserov has come to the conclusion that the Nano-Tech created by Fuji-O’Hara could decrease the half-life of the serum they injected me with. Basically,” I paused, licking my lips nervously, “the Nanos can move the serum out of my body a lot quicker than if I were to let it filter out on its own through my liver and kidneys.”

  She hadn’t said that pa
rt, but I knew enough about the human body to know that on my own.

  “How long will that take? Without the Nanos?” Cecilia asked, her eyebrows knitting together as she followed my train of thought.

  “She doesn’t know,” I sighed. “She believes that King’s scientists didn’t test the half-life of the serum because I wasn’t expected to live past Washington D.C.”

  “So, we have no idea if this stuff will actually reverse on its own, really?” Julius asked skeptically.

  I had to be honest, I hadn’t even thought of that. But now that he said it out loud it was a startling revelation. He was right. We didn’t know, and no one had to say the words for me to be well aware of that fact.

  “I guess we don’t,” I replied. “Another reason the Nanos could be a good idea, after all.”

  After a beat of quiet, Julius took a sharp intake of air and asked the question I was waiting for them to ask.

  “Where does she want to get the Nanos from? Not like we can just go steal them from Fuji-O’Hara’s labs.”

  I almost couldn’t bring myself to say it, since I still barely believed this was the only option I had left out of every advance from within the Fallen Paradigm. Of course, our resources were running out, which meant everything that helped us before was no longer an option. That, or we were so strapped that they were a last resort. My mind raced as I opened my lips, closed them, and then opened them again.

  “She believes that they can be harvested from John Baker and injected into me,” I stated, trying to keep my voice from trembling.

  I failed miserably, but the prospect of it all terrified me beyond words. Even my body started to shake with adrenaline once the words left my mouth. It was as if saying them out loud made it even more real than it had been prior. No one said a word. The only sounds in the room were my heavy breathing, the clicking of the old clock on the wall behind Cecilia, and the rapid beating of my heart behind my ribs as I watched my friends absorb what I just told them. I counted each second as the second-hand clicked around and around for an entire minute. Their silence scared me even more than if they had said anything, and my hands clenched at my sides, becoming jittery. My fingertips began to thrum against my thigh in anticipation.

  “Is that the only option?” Cecilia asked, scrutinizing.

  “As of right now, yes.”

  More stillness beat around us, almost like a living, breathing thing as it pulsed against my flesh.

  “There’s more to this, isn’t there?” Julius questioned.

  I looked at him, tilting my head adoringly. “You know me too well.” Running my fingers through my hair nervously, I continued, “Yeah, there’s more. I need to ask you both a favor, and it’s a doozy.”

  “Oh, God,” Cecilia breathed, taking a careful seat on the desk.

  Julius mirrored her movement, sitting on the student desk just behind him with a helpless look on his face. To be honest, I felt the exact same way, but I was running out of options. It was this or nothing, letting the serum run its course or – as Julius so painfully pointed out – let it do nothing.

  “I won’t pretend that I know what this will do to me. For all we know, it’ll do exactly what Doctor Aserov thinks it will, or they can do something else. Considering what happened in Charleston when we first ran into John, I think it’s safe to consider the fact that it could have an entirely different effect. King had been able to control him temporarily in Charleston, and he almost killed us all.”

  “So, what are you asking us to do here, Mila?” Cecilia asked, her voice shaking slightly with threatened tears.

  With another deep breath, I looked both of them in the eyes as best I could. I could barely look at them as I thought about what I was about to ask of them. It was something I never imagined I would ever have to say, but that list was growing longer and longer the closer we came to full-on war with King and Fuji-O’Hara. The longer I pondered it, the less capable I felt of being able to utter the words. I was even more terrified of their answers than the actual question itself. It was life and death, literally, for all three of us. For everyone.

  Clasping my hands together in front of me, I rung them anxiously.

  “If something happens after the procedure, if I change the same way John did in Charleston, I need one of you to take care of it,” I said.

  “Take care of it, how?” Cecilia pushed.

  Both of them stared at me, bright amber and steel gray turning dark with the realization of what I needed from them.

  “I’ll need you to kill me if it comes to that.”

  Julius laughed lightly, scrubbing his palm over his stubbled jaw. “You’re seriously asking us to do that?”

  “Yes,” I replied seriously, “I am. I wouldn’t if I didn’t feel it was necessary.”

  “Jesus Christ, Mila,” Cecilia muttered under her breath, then cradled her face in her hands. When she looked up, her eyes were filled to the brim with glittering tears. “How can you ask this? How can you expect us to promise this?”

  “Cecilia, come on,” Julius started.

  “This is insane, Julius. Even you can admit that,” Cecilia snapped.

  He shrugged, “Yeah, it is, but you didn’t see Baker out there. I did, and I understand why Mila would ask us to do this. He was a monster, and he had no control over what he was doing. King and those bastards at Fuji-O’Hara did. How can we be sure that Mila will still be herself when it’s all said and done?”

  “God, this is crazy,” Cecilia said, her leg beginning to bounce with anxious energy. “She’s crazy.”

  “I’m right here, you know,” I sighed with exasperation.

  Both heads swiveled in my direction, eyes wide as if they had forgotten I was in the room altogether once I asked the question. Cecilia and Julius were both right. It was necessary, and it was insane, but what else could I do? It wasn’t as if we had a lot of options, and we all knew we were quickly running out of time. There was no way to stop the clock. All we could do was hope we worked swiftly enough to combat the passing minutes.

  “Please, guys. I can’t depend on anyone else to do it. If you can’t, then I’ll have no choice but to not take the treatment at all. It’s too much of a risk if there isn’t anyone there to stop me if it goes south.”

  “Okay, okay,” Julius said, gunmetal stare penetrating.

  “Promise me. I need to hear you promise me that you will do it.”

  “I promise,” Julius bit back. “Jesus, Mila. I promise.”

  I nodded, looking to Cecilia who sat on the desk chewing on her fingernails. Shaking her head, she almost refused to look at me until I said her name.

  “Cecilia,” I said softly as not to startle her.

  Amber eyes slid over my face and shimmered with unshed tears that she attempted to blink back. My own caught in my throat, nearly choking me as I questioned if one of my best friends would have the courage to do what I needed her to just in case the other couldn’t, even though he vowed he would. I needed the backup. I needed the reassurance.

  With a sniff, she rubbed her nose with the back of her hand and bobbed her head. “If it comes down to it, I promise I’ll end it.”

  “Thank you.” I almost sobbed. Putting my arms out toward them, I continued, “Let’s bring it in, guys.”

  They stood and walked quickly toward me, wrapping me in the fiercest group hug I had ever experienced. It was reminiscent of our time in Myrtle Beach after it had been revealed that King was my biological father, and I had said I was no longer afraid. It had been true enough at the time, and while I wasn’t scared of King or what he could do to me, I was scared of so many other things. Like what I could possibly do to those that I loved.

  The promise Cecilia and Julius just made gave me a semblance of faith that I wouldn’t be a danger to anyone because, if that turned out to be the case
, they would do what I asked of them.

  Chapter

  EIGHTEEN

  After telling Doctor Aserov that I wanted the procedure, it was only a few hours before I sat in one of the science labs of the old school building waiting at one of the lab tables. Hands folded together in front of me, my leg jumped in my seat as the seconds ticked by – the only sound in the room beside my rapid breathing and my nervous movements.

  Once they were ready for me, I would be taken into another portion of the school that had been converted into a makeshift procedure room filled with old equipment that they stole from the local hospital about ten miles from our current location. No one knew we were so close to them, which was how we preferred it if we were going to successfully fight against King with any hope of winning. That would mean holding onto as many people and as much of our resources as possible. The step I was about to take was a part of that. One step closer to the bigger picture, and a better world for Specials. For everyone.

  Glancing at the clock, I realized only a few minutes had passed since the last time I glanced at it. A few minutes that felt like hours waiting to meet fate for what could very well be the last time. I could even feel the sweat rolling down my back and congealing in the sleeve of my prosthetic. The worry that flowed through my veins ran rampant through my mind, the thought of having no control over what was about to happen even more terrifying than so much I had already experienced.

  A soft knock on the closed door pulled me out of the pool of my darkening thoughts. My head jerked up, and I sat up straight, pulling at the hem of my tank top nervously.

  “Yeah?” I shouted, the pitch and volume of my voice being a lot higher than I intended.

  The door pushed open, revealing John Baker. My entire body stilled and tensed up, my mind resisting the urge from my muscles to fight or flee. From Gaia’s actions and her words in regard to him, he wasn’t a threat. Not to us, but I was still wary. Every inch of my body screamed to run, and it was all I could do to stop even just my leg from bouncing to deaden the impulse.