Harder Than Words

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Wes snorted. “Maya meddle? Say it isn’t so!”

  “Fuck off,” Maya snarled, though she smiled as she did it. “I don’t meddle. I…aid.”

  Storm studied Luc but didn’t add to the conversation. Luc had a feeling he hadn’t been able to hide everything as well as he’d hoped when they were younger. The Montgomerys saw too much, knew too much.

  “Well, you can stop aiding,” Luc said softly. “I’ve got this.”

  “Do you?” she asked, her gaze on his.

  “I will.” With that, he walked away, knowing he’d probably said too much. He was just coming around to knowing what he wanted, and he didn’t need the others bearing down on him. In fact, if he thought too hard about it, he wasn’t sure what he wanted, not in every detail. But he wasn’t going to let his fears from when they were younger override what he could have now.

  Even if Meghan wanted to be only his friend, he’d take that. He’d seen the look in her eyes the night before. Something had changed. He prayed he wasn’t wrong, and she wanted more than being his friend.

  And now it was time for both of them to deal with it.

  “Uncle Luc!”

  Luc bent down as Sasha ran into his arms. He picked her up and twirled her around, her laughter brushing away any uncertainties or doubts he had before. He wouldn’t hurt these kids, and he damned sure wouldn’t hurt Meghan. One day at a time. That’s all he needed—to take one day at a time.

  “I knew you’d be here.” She grinned, showing off the gap in her teeth.

  He set her on his hip and winked. “Oh, really? How did you know that?”

  “Because Grandma said you’d be here. Duh.”

  At her expression, he threw his head back and laughed.

  “Don’t say ‘duh’, Sasha,” Meghan said as she walked toward them. “You don’t need to be rude.”

  Sasha just wrapped her arms around Luc’s neck and snuggled close. “I didn’t mean to be rude. Right, Uncle Luc?”

  “I’m so not going there,” he said smartly, knowing he was already wrapped around this little girl’s finger. “Good to see you, Meghan.”

  She met his gaze then blinked before taking a deep breath. “Good to see you, too. Mom said you might drop by, but I didn’t think you would.”

  “Of course I would. I love your parents. It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with all of you. Have you eaten? I haven’t had a chance yet.”

  She shook her head. “Not yet. I was just trying to wrangle the kids over there.” She looked over her shoulder and frowned. “Cliff ran off with Leif as soon as we walked in.”

  He turned and followed her gaze. “He’s with Austin and Sierra. They’ll make sure he eats.” He reached out and took her hand, surprising them both. “Come on. I’ll eat with you.”

  She looked down at their joined hands then pulled hers away. He didn’t let it hurt since they hadn’t talked yet, but the fact that she hadn’t done it quickly meant he might be on the right track. Plus, being in the middle of her parents’ backyard wasn’t the best place to start anything.

  “I don’t want to put you out. You looked like you were having a conversation with Wes and Storm.”

  “They’ll be fine. Let’s go feed this munchkin.”

  He tickled Sasha’s belly, and she giggled much like her cousin Colin had. The sound made him realize that he didn’t feel as awkward as before. Still, though, after all these years, he would have thought his time with Meghan wouldn’t feel so tense. It was going to take time to figure it all out; he knew that. At some point, however, he’d have to find out exactly what Meghan wanted. That near-kiss and the attraction he felt from her had to mean something.

  He hoped.

  He led Meghan and Sasha over to the piles of food and helped the little girl in his arms make up her plate. He ignored the pointed looks from some of her family members. It had been a long time since he and Meghan had spent any time together, and it had never been with a child on his hip. Instead of dwelling on it, he sat Sasha down and made a plate of his own. The three of them ate their grilled chicken and potato salad while watching Leif and Cliff roll around on the grass. When Austin joined them, the rest of the Montgomery boys followed suit, and soon there was a game of touch football going down. Of course, Sasha wanted to play, and Luc made sure he was on her team. Under Meghan’s watchful eye, as well as the rest of those who had decided to sit out the game, he led Sasha and their team to a victory, showing off their new end zone dance, which included spinning the little girl around until she squealed.

  “Again! Again!”

  He laughed and carried her over his shoulder to Meghan. “Not today. I’m exhausted.” He met Meghan’s eyes. “I’m not twenty anymore, it seems.”

  She smiled at him, a knowing gleam in her eyes. “None of us are. Okay, honey, we need to go ask Uncle Griffin if he’s ready to take us home. You and Cliff have a few things to finish up for school.”

  “Your truck still not working?”

  Meghan thinned her lips and shook her head. “It’s going to take longer than they thought to fix it.”

  Luc put his hands on his hips and sighed. “You might need a new one altogether, Meghan, if that’s the case.”

  She looked down at Sasha and gave a small shake of her head. “I can’t talk about it right now. In any case, Griffin brought us here, so at least I asked for help. Right?” The tension in her voice told him this was something more. He knew he shouldn’t have blown up at her in the truck that day, but he hadn’t been able to help it. He hated the fact that she wouldn’t normally ask for help. Hated that she tried to do everything on her own, even if she didn’t need to.

  She had a support system, but for some reason, it was as if she was blind to it. As if something had shielded it from her for so long she didn’t realize it was there anymore.

  He’d have to find a way to fix that and let her know he was part of it as well.

  She did so much on her own, more than any one person should have to do. He didn’t care that there were thousands of single mothers and fathers who did this every day. Meghan shouldn’t have to. He didn’t want her to wear herself out because she thought she had to do it all.

  “I’ll take you home, Meghan.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t need to take you away from the party. Griffin will take us home.”

  “Let me help. Griffin is talking with your dad now. Do you really want to take him away this early?”

  She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t want to rely on anyone and force them to put things down for me. Don’t you get that?” She took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m a little touchy.”

  “I get it.” And he did. Richard had been a fucking asshole to her, forcing her to rely only on herself and making her think she was failing even at that. “But I’m still taking you home.”

  “Luc.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t going to stay long anyway. And I want to talk to you about something.”

  She licked her lips, and he held back a groan, aware Sasha stood between them, a curious look on her face. “We don’t need to talk about that.”

  Good. She was thinking about that near-kiss, too. “Yes. Yes, we do. Go get Cliff and say your goodbyes. I’ll get Sasha cleaned up and get the boosters for my truck.”

  She opened her mouth to say something then shook her head. “Thank you. I hate that I’m sounding so ungrateful. But thank you.”

  He reached up to cup her face then thought better of it. “Anything, Meghan. You should know that.”

  With that, he did as he’d said, once again ignoring the glances from others. He’d deal with them later. First, he had to figure out what was going on between him and Meghan. Then they could deal with the outside world.

  The drive to Meghan’s was quiet, Sasha having fallen asleep as soon as he buckled her in. Cliff hadn’t said a word to him, which worried him more and more. There had to be something going on with the kid, but from the look on Meghan’s face whenever she stole a gla
nce at her son, neither of them knew what it was.

  He carried Sasha into the house, following Meghan and Cliff inside.

  “I’ll put her down if you want to get something to drink,” Meghan said once they were inside.

  “I’ve got it,” he said. “I know where it is.”

  “Okay, let me get Cliff set up in their room with the last of his homework. Sasha already finished hers for preschool.”

  She gave him a small smile, and he met her gaze. What they were doing was so freaking domestic it made his heart hurt, but he wanted more of this. He hadn’t known how much he wanted it until he’d gotten a glimpse. Now he knew he’d fight for it. Fight for more than he knew.

  By the time Meghan came into the kids’ room and settled Sasha fully, Luc had backed out to let her do what she needed to do.

  “I know she needs to brush her teeth and everything, but we might just skip tonight. She’s out for the count, which means she needed her sleep. She usually takes forever to fall asleep fully like this. Hence, why the tooth fairy had a fun time before.”

  Luc shook his head, smiling as he followed Meghan back to her living room.

  “Thank you for bringing us home. I talked to Mom and Dad before I headed out, and I’m going to take Dad’s truck.” She took a deep breath. “I should have done it before because he’s not using it with his treatments, but I was too stubborn.” She shook her head. “So stubborn that I was making it hard to pick up my children from school. I can’t keep doing that.”

  He let out a sigh then moved closer to her. Knowing he was about to do something very important or incredibly stupid, he cupped her face. She let out a small gasp, but didn’t pull away. Progress.

  “You’re stubborn, true, but you know how to take care of your kids. Don’t think the opposite.”

  “Luc, what are you doing? What are we doing?” Her voice was low, breathy.

  He backed her up one step, two, so her back pressed against the door. He didn’t want to cage her in fully, but he needed to know she was there, needed to feel her against him.

  “I’m going to kiss you, Meghan. I’m going to taste your lips, your tongue. Then I’m going to do it again. Once I can’t breathe anymore, once I can’t do anything but crave you, I’m going to walk away and let you think about what this means. I’m here, Meghan. I’m not going away. I want you. I want us.”

  “You can’t mean that. We’re friends, Luc. We’re not anything more. We never were.”

  His fault, he knew, but that was the past. This was the present.

  “We could be. This is just a possibility. A possibility of something greater than us standing alone in a room with a crowd of people surrounding us. Let me show you what you could have, what we could have. Let me show you.”

  With that, he lowered his mouth, gently brushing his lips across hers, once, twice.

  She froze then tentatively put her shaking hands on his chest, not pushing but touching. He licked the seam of her lips, and she opened for him.

  They both groaned as he let his hands follow her neck and tangle in her hair at the back of her head, cushioning her as he pressed her harder against the door. Their bodies aligned, hot, hard melding to soft, want transforming to need. She tasted sweet and tangy, tasted of Meghan, the Meghan he’d never had but always wanted, always craved.

  He pulled back and watched her eyes flutter open then kissed her again. Her tongue worked with his, a smooth seduction that held the hint of promise. Before he could go further, before he pushed them both to the brink, he pulled away, breathless.

  “We’ll do that again, Meghan.”

  “I…I don’t know what happened.”

  He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yes. Yes, you do. And soon we’ll find out more. Find out exactly what it means.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers before taking a step back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Luc—”

  “Tomorrow.”

  He said it knowing if he didn’t leave then, he’d push himself and her for more than either could give. He shifted his erection in his jeans, loving the way her eyes followed the movement, then he left her home.

  He’d taken the first step. Probably taken the second and third, too. Now it was up to her. He prayed he hadn’t made a mistake because, if he had, then he’d lost it all.

  But that kiss? That kiss had been worth it.

  Worth everything and more.

  Chapter Six

  Maybe the world had tilted on its axis and Meghan now lived in a new dimension. It was the only possible excuse for what had happened the night before.

  She swore her lips were still swollen from Luc’s kiss. Kisses. Plural. He’d kissed her softly, taken a breath, then kissed her hard, pressed her against the door. Her body shivered once again at the memory of his hands on the back of her neck then tangled in her hair as he deepened the kiss.

  Swallowing hard, she crossed her legs, praying her pussy would stop pulsating at just the memory of Luc’s delicious lips. Of course, thinking of his lips kissing anywhere else on her body just made it worse.

  Damn it. He was her friend.

  He’d been her best friend.

  That’s all they were.

  Right?

  “Meghan? Are you okay? You’re all flushed.” Miranda frowned down at her, reaching out as if to feel Meghan’s forehead.

  Meghan instinctively moved back, pressing her back into the couch. “I’m fine.” She cleared her throat. “I just need a drink.”

  Maya came up behind Miranda and cocked her brow, the piercing gleaming in the light. “You do look flushed, but I don’t think it’s from being sick.” She grinned, a knowing look in her eyes. “I think it has to do with a certain someone who took you and the kids home last night.”

  Meghan raised her chin, refusing to kowtow to Maya. The three of them had always been decently close since they were the three girls of the Montgomery clan. Their parents had thought it was cute to name them all with M’s, and their father even called them his M&Ms. It didn’t matter that Meghan had nine years on Miranda and two on Maya. They were sisters and knew most of their ins and outs.

  Each of them had their own secrets though—some darker than others.

  This secret, however, wasn’t so dark. That didn’t mean she wanted to share it with her sisters though.

  “Excuse me?” she said finally, putting as much ice into her tone as she could muster.

  Maya rolled her eyes and tapped her foot. “Don’t try that ice bitch tone on me, Meghan. I know you. You’re all flushed and crossing your legs. You’re thinking about something that makes you hot. Right? And considering you haven’t looked like that in the years you were married to that right bastard, I’m thinking it’s a certain electrician who came back to town. Am I right?”

  Meghan narrowed her eyes but couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of her. “Dear lord, Maya. Seriously? Did you just ask me if I was hot? How close are we sisters supposed to be?”

  Miranda flopped next to her on the couch and grinned. “I don’t really want to know the answer to that question, if that’s all right with you. Now come on, talk to us.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” Meghan hedged.

  Maya let out a dramatic sigh but smiled. “Well, it’s a good thing the two of you came over to my house for margaritas. I’ll ply you with booze, and we’ll see what you say when your tongue is loosened with tequila.”

  Meghan folded her arms over her chest. “I think I’ll opt out of tequila, thank you very much. I came over for a girls’ night. I don’t need to get drunk.”

  “Uh, Meghan? I think that’s the point of a girls’ night,” Miranda put in. “A girls’ day is where we go shopping, do lunch, and get a spa day or something. A girls’ night is where we drink, do each other’s hair, only to annoy Maya, and dish on men.”

  “We’re not doing each other’s hair,” Maya said as she walked into the kitchen that sat behind the living room. “Last time we did t
hat, Meghan got all pissy when I wanted to add food coloring to her hair. It would have washed right out.”

  Meghan fisted her hands and took a deep breath. “You know why I did that, Maya. It was when…” She took a deep breath. “Richard would have gotten upset if I’d come home that night with colored hair. He wouldn’t even let me stay the night like I will tonight. He wanted me home with the children.”

  “Like that bastard couldn’t have tucked Cliff and Sasha in himself.” Miranda huffed. “Maya’s right. He’s a right bastard.”

  “Well, he’s out of our lives,” Maya declared, then turned on the blender.

  “He’s not out of our lives.” Meghan spoke up once Maya turned off the blender. “He’s my children’s father. He’ll never be fully out of my life.” Tears pricked the back of her eyelids, and she sucked in a breath. “Damn it. I’m not even drinking yet, and I’m already spilling my guts.”

  “You needed this,” Miranda said softly. “That’s why Austin and Sierra took the kids tonight. We wanted Sierra here, but she said she needed to be home with Colin and crew.” Miranda gave her an evil grin. “I don’t think Austin could handle four kids.”

  Maya strode in, three large margaritas in hand. “Well, if they continue on with their plans of adoption, they might just get four kids eventually.”

  Meghan took the glass and sipped. The sharp and deadly taste zipped through her system at once, and she relaxed marginally. “They’re going through getting into the system then? I know Sierra’s pregnancy took a lot out of her.”

  “That’s an understatement,” Miranda added in.

  “True. It almost killed her,” Maya said bluntly.

  “I know,” Meghan whispered. “I might have been buried in my own pain, but I was there, remember? We were all there when she almost bled out on our parents’ lawn.” She shuddered, remembering the agony on her brother’s face when he realized he was helpless in saving his wife. “They were so lucky that things worked out and she and Colin are healthy.”

  Maya tipped her glass forward. “Cheers to that. I know they want more than two because they have such freaking big hearts. I’m sure they can find and love a little boy or girl who needs a home.” She gulped some of her drink then made a face. “Oh, boy, these are strong. Just how I like them. Anyway, enough with the depressing talk. Sierra is fine. They will have more children just in a different way. I mean come on. Leif entered their lives in the most fantastical way possible. Why not another?”