Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories

by Harry Dodgson

  "Don't think that everything we do is out of gratitude. We discussed the fringe benefits of loaning you an airship for days. You haven't taken advantage of being able to go anywhere, anytime, and not needing to find a place to eat or sleep yet."

  "I thought it was just to take me where you guys needed me to be."

  "That is just part of its usefulness. We saw even more benefits after the Dutch engineers installed the railway gun on it."

  "It sounds like you left the gun installed. I expected that would be removed immediately after my luggage."

  "That was another long and heated discussion. The army would have taken the gun and locked it back up. We reminded them that they didn't have any facility more secure than where it had been. The navy would have been happy to give you your flag back before sending the ship out to patrol the coastline. They thought they were being funny. We thought they were joking too. A few politicians thought the airship would be ideal for personal trips. We didn't like the idea of armed lords that can't hold their liquor."

  "How did it manage to end up in a hangar within walking distance from my house?"

  "Without even being allowed to voice your opinion, you got to keep it. I think it was an act of spite. You embarrassed the army twice and we suspect they are hoping the jeebees will steal it from you. Part of the agreement was keeping it as close to you as possible. Another part was removing the explosive shells."

  "I think I understand. This is like what Gerald taught me; they say they want me to have it, but they really don't. If anything happens to it, they can take it away without protest. They say I am to defend the gun, yet remove the ability for it to defend itself."

  "That's the situation, all right. We had the hangar built next to the train station and hired guards to watch over both buildings day and night."

  "Speaking of night, our guest room is available if you haven't arranged a place to stay. Next time, you might consider sending a telegram before you arrive so I can look out for you."

  "Thank you for your hospitality. My plans were to sleep aboard your airship and looking back on them, they don't seem that pleasant now. When were you thinking of leaving?"

  "There is no point in delaying longer than required. How about after breakfast tomorrow? Do you have any luggage to fetch?"

  "My bags are already stowed on the Clover."

  • July 20

  I had finished packing and we were having a leisurely meal when I saw four faces pressed to the kitchen window. I motioned for them to come in. My brothers ran off leaving enough chairs for my friends to sit down. It didn't take much to guess what was about to happen. Darina said, "We heard you were flying off again and we'd like to come along."

  I looked at Reginald who was concentrating on buttering his toast... I waved a hand in front of his face. "Would you care to voice your opinion?"

  He looked up as if just noticing a change in the breakfast party. "Good morning, ladies."

  "My friends, this is Reginald. You can get to know each other while I see what's left in the kitchen." It had to be obvious that I was avoiding the question. Hopefully, they'd get an answer from Reginald if I waited long enough. As long as I was in the kitchen, I checked if my brothers had left anything edible. I was rewarded with a small bowl of assorted berries. I ate half of them, slowly... I sat back down at the table with my berries.

  I said, "Do I need to ask if you have already packed enough clothes for a week and your parents are glad to be rid of you for a while?"

  They stared at each other, and then Melissa replied, "'Tis not like that at all. We had to bargain with them, and make promises, and plead for spending money."

  I thought for a moment and said, "This is work for me. Are you willing to help?"

  Melissa said, "We don't know much about shooting rifles..."

  Darina added, "...or those creatures that we've heard about."

  I said, "But you are experts at rumours and finding out things people want to keep secret, even without my little brother's help. That's what this trip is all about."

  Darina said, "Was that a compliment or a jibe?"

  "'Tis a fact; no denying it. If you all will get both wagons loaded, I will see about getting them brought back later."

  I found Peter sitting quietly on the steps listening to what we said. "It looks like your plan failed. You and your brother will need to walk into town and bring the wagons back. The girls can't do it for you this time as they are going with me."

  He just looked at me with that defiant expression while he tried to figure another way out of the situation. I stared back at him, daring him to say something. After a minute or two, he relented under the pressure. He said, "Okay, I will do it."

  "Don't race the wagons either. You know what father will do if he notices the horses are sweating when you get home."

  We could fit three people and Bradan into one wagon, but not six people, Bradan, and our luggage. Bradan had loaded the girls' bicycles before I thought about how useful they'd be. Reginald drove one wagon with Sheela and Bradan while I drove the second one. Of all my friends, Sheela was the quietest and least likely to bombard Reginald with questions.

  It was a short drive, but long enough for me to realise that I had been outsmarted by my brother again. There was no way they could have brought that much luggage on their bicycles. All of that had to have been in the wagon already when they arrived. I wondered what he was asking for all the favours he did and decided it was best if I didn't know.

  I remembered all the gossip when the land was cleared for the aerodrome and the rumours about the hangar, but I had no idea it was for my airship. The doors at each end were open and the aviators were in front waiting for us. We pulled up near the cargo door and let Bradan out of his wagon first so he could unload our things from the other wagon.

  "I called to everyone, "As soon as Bradan has finished, grab your bags, choose an empty room, and unpack. We'll be staying on the airship when we arrive instead of paying for lodging locally."

  That resulted in a few minutes of them fighting over the rooms. I didn't understand the fuss as the rooms were all identical, except for mine. It wasn't really fighting anyway. Each one had her own preferences and wanted to make sure the others knew them.

  Reginald introduced me to Benjamin, the day guard. I told him how much I appreciated the work he did. He just nodded and went back to the station.

  We unhitched the wagons and used the horses to pull my airship out of the hangar. Asher and Ethan were at the pilot chairs keeping the ship from scraping the hangar floor or ceiling. I didn't understand why we couldn't just fly it out, but they insisted we do it this way. I walked around the ship, checking that everything looked okay and that Bradan had secured himself. I entered last and the pilots engaged the fans; sending us straight up into the sky. We had a good view of our little town until we got above the clouds and headed North.

  I said, "I'd like you all to check the galley and see what we need. We'll be doing the cooking the same way we do at home; alphabetically. Bevin and Darina will do lunch, Melissa and I will do dinner, and so on. The men will help clean up. Anyone who doesn't want to help may leave now." I laughed a little but they didn't think my joke was funny.

  Sheela asked, "What will we do now?"

  "I'm going to unpack and make myself at home. You can do pretty much anything you'd like."

  I had plenty of places to put what little I had brought. They were good for organising my clothes. I found one small drawer just the right size for my bracelets and one next to it that held all my socks. I secured my rifles in the racks and hung my dresses in the closet. This was going to be my home for a few days and I was going to treat it that way. Plus, I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting anything when I left like in a hotel.

  I could hear my friends unpacking their portmanteaus and steamer trunks. Their rooms only had a small closet with two drawers beneath it. Hopefully, they were big enough for everything that the women had brought with them.


  I looked out my windows at the countryside passing beneath us. Unlike previous trips in my airship, we were moving at a respectable pace today. I expected us to be back on the ground in just over two hours.

  I thought that I should share the view from my suite. I found my friends in the sitting room with their faces pressed against the windows while Ethan worked the Aldis lamp. I tapped Melissa on the shoulder. "What are you looking at?"

  "Ethan is teaching us Morse code. We are talking with the Captain of the Red Hawk"

  "You are talking?"

  "More like we are winking at him and he is winking back," she said. I thought that was funny and smiled.

  "How much have you learned?"

  "They all tell us who they are, the name of their ship, and where they are docked. Ethan says that's the proper greeting. Then we do the same. We share where we are headed. They wish us a safe journey, we reply, and that's it."

  "I was trying to ask how much code you learned, but I like your answer."

  "Oh. I can only remember a few letters and they go so fast it is hard to keep up."

  "You said something about 'all of them'. How many have there been?"

  Sheela said, "This is the seventh one."

  I chose a seat by one of the tables. It was easy enough to keep track of what was passing between the ships. They tried to figure out each letter and then they added it to the previous ones trying to make a word. It was like a party game. Sheela wrote down each word and read them back once she had a full line.

  We passed several more before Asher asked Ethan to assist him. We looped around a town. It had a fountain and a statue of someone on a horse in the centre. The view from here was wonderful. I noticed a rainbow in the mist that got brighter and then vanished as we passed by. Reginald directed Asher to a spot that I guessed was a mile away from the town; close enough to walk, far enough not to intrude.

  We landed at one corner of a level plot of land about four acres big. I barely felt it when the airship touched the ground. The aviators grabbed a pair of long metal poles that resembled giant corkscrews from a locker. "What are those for?" I asked.

  "When there aren't convenient posts to tie the mooring lines, we screw these into the ground."

  "How about I ask Bradan to help?"

  "We'd appreciate that as they take a lot of work after they get a foot down."

  After Bradan finished helping tie down the airship, he unloaded the bicycles. I walked with my friends to the road and pointed with one hand while holding some pound notes in the other. "The town is that way," I said.

  Darina said, "Sure it is. We can see the church spire."

  Bevin asked, "What would you like?"

  I replied, "Go make friends, collect rumours, and buy enough food for eight people and drink for a dozen."

  "What kind of food?"

  "Get what you like to eat... Get meat and potatoes for the men." I looked at my pocket watch. "Be back in three hours."

  Darina said, "Aah. It's just like shopping at home."

  "One last thought," I said. "My travelling expenses are covered so you don't need to buy day-old bread or cheap cuts of meat."

  They had just gotten out of sight and I was wondering what to do next. I hadn't made any plans for the rest of today. I guess I had gotten accustomed to settling into a hotel room when I arrived in a new place. This time I had brought my room with me.

  I surveyed our landing site. It was a bit wild, but the grasses were below my knees. The men had brought some chairs and a table outside. They looked like the ones from the sitting room. I said, "I thought these were bolted down?"

  Asher replied, "These are a different set."

  "Really?"

  "No, I'm just kidding. They are the same ones. They can be removed from the deck easily if you know the trick."

  I looked up to the skies, noticed a few puffy clouds, and counted seven airships headed in different directions. One was headed toward us and was getting lower as it approached. "This must be a popular spot to land," I said

  Reginald looked at it and said, "That's a Royal Navy ship by the markings."

  I asked, "We are on the same side, right?"

  He replied, "Yes, they agreed to the compromise."

  "I am guessing they couldn't wait for me to do something wrong to steal the Clover away from me."

  "Let's not make any rash judgements," he said. "They may just need a cup of sugar to make cookies."

  "If you believe that, you are more gullible than Gerald."

  They stopped about 100 yards out and 20 feet up. One man opened a window and shouted, "Ahoy on the ground! May we have permission to land?"

  I looked at Reginald. "Did we get permission to stay here?"

  He just nodded to me. I thought for a moment and realised we likely had approval to land anywhere in the United Kingdom except Buckingham Palace.

  "Ahoy on the ship. Permission granted!" I called back.

  They flew another 100 yards down the clearing before descending. Their ship was a medium blue; not as light as the sky or dark as the sea, but somewhere between. It was half again as big as mine and had a long, wide gondola affixed below it with the name H.M.S. Constellation in large white letters. It had two huge fans at the tail end just ahead of the fins. Instead of a cloth flag like mine, the Union Jack was painted on its rudder.

  Reginald and I walked down the field to greet them. The Captain and two sailors had already disembarked and were coming our way. I noticed other sailors working to tie down their airship. I was unsure about offering Bradan's assistance to them, so I didn't.

  "Hello, I am Fianna Kelly and this is my tutor, Reginald."

  "I am Captain Plumer... Is that your airship?"

  "I say she's mine, but Reginald might point out that she's on loan to me for unofficial use only."

  "I've had standing orders for months that should that airship ever leave her hangar to seize her and detain all of her crew."

  I stared at him for a second; stunned. "Captain, do you have someplace we can sit and talk?"

  "No, my ship is lacking most human comforts."

  "Then you are in luck as mine excels in being comfortable. The aviators have already set out some chairs and a table."

  The Captain and his two sailors followed us back to the Clover. I noticed that he was uncomfortable. Either he had a stressful day or was expecting it to get worse.

  I asked the Captain, "Did the one who gave you the orders tell you why to seize my airship?"

  "No, Miss. My orders seldom provide much detail."

  I motioned for the men to sit, but they stood awkwardly waiting for me. I sighed, and chose a seat with the sun to my right. Reginald and the Captain sat in the other two while the sailors stood. I don't know where Ethan and Asher had gone.

  I started, "Reginald. You told me the agreement concerning my airship had many parts. How many?"

  "As best as I can recall, between 40 and 50."

  "Do we have a copy of it?"

  "No."

  "Why not?"

  "Gerald tried every trick he knew, but they classified it so important that even we can't keep a copy."

  "But you read it, yes?"

  "I read it carefully, dreading this day would come."

  "Did it state that the Clover was not allowed to leave the hangar?"

  "No."

  "Did it state the Royal Navy was to watch over it?"

  "No, it clearly stated we were solely responsible for her safety."

  "Okay Captain, we don't think we did anything wrong. What do you think?"

  He said, "I am confused. You have a nice airship here Miss, but it's not a warship. It's obvious to me that you haven't stolen it either. I don't know what agreement you are referring to. I just have short and specific orders."

  "Reginald, what else can we say?"

  "Gerald should have told you that we decide who needs to know the truth and when. Right now, I don't think Captain Plumer needs us to tell him the full story. I doubt he'd b
elieve it. His admirals have given him as little information as they could."

  I addressed the Captain. "We have two aviators who fly the airship. I guess Reginald and I could be considered crew as we are in command. That makes four crew members in all. My four friends will be back from town in a few hours. They are most definitely to be considered as passengers only. Under those conditions, you may consider the ship seized and the crew detained as per your orders."

  The Captain said, "You are being very reasonable. I can agree to those terms."

  Reginald looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't want to interrupt. I nodded to him. He asked, "Captain, what did your orders say to do with the Clover after seizing her?"

  The Captain shrugged. "They didn't. Someone will update my orders when I report in."

  I said, "Gerald taught me not to ask this kind of question but could you clarify what 'detain' means in our situation? Is it locked in our rooms or put in a cell or what?"

  He looked around and said, "I think the boundaries of this clearing should be suitable confinement. If you or your crew have a valid need to go beyond that, I'll assign an officer for escort."

  I said, "Thank you for your generosity. I would appreciate it if you would allow Reginald to send a telegram to our employer explaining the situation."

  The Captain said, "I need to send one as well. Let's write them out and I'll dispatch a man to take them to the telegraph office in town."

  Reginald and the Captain wrote out their telegrams. He peeked at where Reginald was sending our message and asked, "That is your employer?" We both nodded. "I guess I should prepare my defence for the court-martial."

  I smiled at him. "Don't worry. You've seized the Clover and detained us. That's just what your orders said, yes?"

  "Why do you seem so happy about this?"

  "I can't tell you that yet... Captain, you and your crew are welcome to join us for lunch." I stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I feel like a good long bath. I believe the water will still be hot."

  I went to my suite, locked the door behind me, and relaxed in my tub so long that my feet looked like prunes. I had read somewhere recently that the owner of a vessel was expected to dress in formal attire for meals so I took the extra time to arrange my hair and my jewellery to impress. When I reached the main door of my ship, I was astounded by the number of people outside.