Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories

by Harry Dodgson

  The pilots had rented a carriage and driver. Asher had noticed how we always had to have the wagons brought to and from the hangar and suggested we wait here for them to prepare the ship and come to us. I thanked him for the gesture and told him that we'd be ready when they returned.

  I held up my telegram and said, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Their telegram was similar to mine; just what they needed to know. It told them where we were going and when we were expected to arrive. I had been hoping one of us was told what to expect when we arrived.

  Knowing it would be a few hours before they came back, I took my time and continued to pack what I needed. It was difficult to choose what to take and what to leave behind when I didn't know what I was walking into. I started with a suitcase and when I filled it, moved everything to a steamer trunk. It only had to hold my things until I could unpack it on the ship.

  I heard the sounds of a steam engine outside. I called out, "I believe that is our ride, Gwen. Are you ready?"

  Gwen walked over with her trunk following closely behind. "I just had to empty the cookie jar. Now, I am ready."

  We went outside and I could feel that she had stopped behind me. I laughed and said, "Isn't she wonderful. She's like another sun setting just for us."

  She said, "Do you always have to make a spectacle of things."

  "To be sure, 'tis part of my nature to show off."

  Bradan was waiting near the door and took my trunk to the ship without waiting for me to ask.

  Gwen asked, "Where are we going anyway?"

  "We are headed to my favourite army base in England."

  "With the transports of my time, which I can't tell you about, we'd be there already."

  "Please tell me that you aren't using something like Felix's portholes whenever you want to go somewhere?"

  "No, we still use vehicles; just very fast ones."

  "Let's not keep them waiting. I'll show you around the ship once we are airborne."

  We opened the windows and waved at my family. I hadn't told them where we were going or what we'd likely be doing as they'd only worry.

  Gwen said, "That was a smooth takeoff. You are showing off again, aren't you?"

  "This is how we always go up. I figured it was normal."

  "I guess it is normal for a balloon to go straight up. I'm used to going up at an angle when I fly."

  "I did that once and didn't like it at all."

  "How fast can we fly?"

  "I really don't know. I usually go to my stateroom and let the pilots work. They are preparing to land when I wake up in the morning. The pilots take it slow all night so the ship is quiet and I can sleep."

  "I am so jealous."

  "I've had enough sleep in the last few days. You can sleep in my bed tonight. You can be jealous of me again tomorrow."

  "What are you going to do?"

  "I think I'll read a while and see what the writers have Jim Anderson doing this month."

  • February 15

  We landed amidst a number of other airships. Most were bigger than mine and all had the Union Jack painted on their rudders. Men were running about the airships seeing to their tasks. As soon as we touched down, a few ran over to my ship as well.

  Gwen, Bradan, and I were headed to the little building where the duty officer worked when Albert caught up to us. He escorted us straight to the Colonel's office.

  I said, "Good morning, Colonel. I'd like to introduce my new friend, Gwendoline MacGowan. Gwen, this is Colonel Reynolds."

  He replied, "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine... I've scheduled a briefing in two hours where everyone can get together and exchange what we know about the G.B.H.I.s."

  I said, "I don't want to take advantage, but could your engineer check on Bradan? I sent him to be checked a few days ago, but he returned in the same condition."

  The Colonel replied, "Had you not asked first, I may have directed it to be inspected myself."

  Gwen added, "I'd like to talk to the engineer while he works on your automaton. Is that okay with you?"

  I told her, "You two will find me having a late breakfast when you are done. Bradan knows the way."

  I asked, "Is there anything else for us to do now?"

  He said, "Just think about what you would like to say in front of a dozen or more important officers. I'll send Albert to collect you before we begin."

  So many people; so many memories; so much food. It was like home away from home. The men had seen all the officers arrive and knew something was happening, but weren't told what it was about. I didn't have to say anything. They knew what it had to be about as soon as I arrived.

  I saw Gwen entering the dining area. Actually, everyone noticed her when she entered. She had changed back into the outfit she had worn when we met. I asked, "Why did you change clothes? Is something amiss?"

  "I can't place it, but I felt something wasn't right here. I asked your automaton to go back to the Clover and keep watch over it."

  "You don't feel like you are out of place anymore?"

  "I may look like I'm from a different time, but I feel this is where and when I need to be."

  I offered her a choice of the breakfast selections and she helped herself to some of everything. It reminded me of my first time here. We had finished eating, but not talking, when Albert arrived. We went to a building that I hadn't been in before.

  The first session was supposed to be devoted to going back over what we knew of the jeebees. This consisted mainly of our encounters. How many jeebees there were, how they fought, and what we did in response that worked or failed.

  We didn't go according to date of attack, but by seniority. The Navy men went first as they had the most Admirals present. They didn't have much to say, but they spent a long time saying it. I was disappointed that Captain Plumer was not with them. I was told that he was doing something called aerial reconnaissance. Gwen translated that for me as meaning 'to look at a place from an airship'. Why couldn't they just say he was in his airship looking at the mountain?

  The Generals went next and told of their failures before I had first arrived. Then they related about how their skirmishes had improved. As expected, they didn't mention my role. They quickly related how they lost the railway gun. I could tell they were not happy to be telling about their failures to everyone here, especially two women.

  There was a representative from the Dutch Army, no-one that I knew, who related what little he had been told. I felt sick to my stomach. If it ever got to be my turn, I was going to embarrass all these men. I asked Gwen for advice, but she could offer none. She said that in her time men and women were treated equally.

  Next on the list was Colonel Reynolds. He had a short summary of jeebee attacks and then invited me to speak. That alone caused an uproar and protests from most of the men there. He got them to quiet down and explained that in clear contrast to my age and sex that I was the foremost expert on the G.B.H.I.s in the entire world and if they were going to accomplish anything, they had better listen to me carefully.

  A few threatened to walk out and he threatened them with treason if they did. He reminded them that not only was the room guarded, but the base was also sealed and anyone leaving without his written orders would be considered a traitor and executed summarily for collaborating with the enemy. Then he turned back to me and asked me to tell my story.

  I started at the beginning; my meeting the first two jeebees at the farmhouse. I told them about the battle outside of London and what the jeebee commander told me. I let them know what the jeebees had done to my airship when they had the railway gun and I related what it took to get the gun back.

  I added a quick summary of the squire and how his men had killed a jeebee commander and six drones with only one pistol amongst them. I let them know how I felt about being detained while working to protect their families. They were whispering among themselves a lot and that meant I was not keeping them interested.

  I was saving the best for l
ast and paused for a moment to let the suspense build. I started with the end result that we had interrogated a jeebee commander. I knew that would get their attention. Then I began the story of where Eric and I travelled his country by rail. Even the Dutch officer was paying attention. They must not have told him this part.

  I told them how we had discovered the small group in the windmill. Throughout the rest of my stories, there was assorted whispers going on between the officers, probably comments of disbelief. Now they were quiet and waiting for every word. I knew that none of them had seen or tried to talk with one of the jeebee officers.

  At this point, I was glad Eric had insisted on it, but I didn't tell them that. I also did not tell them that the jeebees considered me to be the highest ranking general of the world. That would certainly crush their delicate egos. I did explain what it had said and what I had deduced from its actions. I also explained what Gwen told me their pistols actually did to those who had been shot. When I finished, I curtsied and sat back down by Gwen.

  Some were stunned and some were impressed, but most were outraged. I debated with myself about telling them Gwen's story, but I couldn't trust anyone that I hadn't fought beside. A large group like this could easily create one of those knots in Felix's fishing line. Maybe something so big it could never be untangled.

  Gwen and I were escorted out of the room under protest. Apparently most of the men took offence with us joining their private war without an invitation. I took offence at what they were doing now. We sat on an uncomfortable bench outside the room. Gwen had her helmet on and was tapping on the side of it. She put it on my head and I could hear the officers speaking as if we were still inside. I had to smile at this wonderful gadget. Gwen whispered, "I used this quite a bit when I was rescuing people. It helps when you know things that your opposition doesn't know you do."

  I sat quietly listening to the group of high-ranking idiots argue with the group of smarter lower-ranking officers. The Dutch officer, though knowing little at the start of the briefing, had learned plenty and believed what I said. The Admirals and Generals were not convinced. I gather they had paid too much to get where they were to allow some young female to tell them how to fight their wars. There was some mention of bringing me back in for questioning and I quickly handed Gwen her helmet back.

  It was many men shouting questions all at once until one of the senior officers called the room to order and suggested that a junior officer moderate the questions so that everyone had a chance. Most of their questions were regarding what I had already told them. Perhaps they were expecting my story to change when told a second time. Gerald had warned me about this kind of tactic and it was obvious how it worked now. He had said another variation was asking the same question in different words until they got the answer they wanted. One of the Admirals tried that too. He was disappointed and getting upset when he finished.

  A General asked about the wounds caused by the pistols; how I knew what I did about them. I rolled up my sleeve and showed them one on the front of my arm. This caused the expected commotion. The ones who believed me gasped in shock. The ones who didn't simply refused to believe what they saw. I explained that I had several more on my body in private places where I had been shot and it went through my undergarments without leaving a mark on them. I looked at Colonel Reynolds, thanked him for his advice, and explained that hiding behind an empty wooden crate hadn't helped in the slightest.

  There were no more questions and the men left the room. Perhaps when they met again to discuss battle plans, they could agree on something. I was certain that Gwen and I would not be allowed to attend that meeting.

  Colonel Reynolds stayed behind to talk with me. He said that he had gotten a telegram yesterday to expect me flying in from Ireland and also to expect a package of utmost importance coming in by armed courier from London. He was to make sure I received the package without delay.

  I asked, "Do you know what is in the package?"

  He replied, "No, but this was on the outside. It looks like a birthday card to me."

  I inspected it. It was anything but a card. I thanked the Colonel, grabbed Gwen's hand, and we headed out of the building to my ship.

  Gwen asked, "Did I miss something there?"

  "I'll tell you when we get to the Clover."

  We hurried to my ship and shut all the doors behind us without saying anything else. I started, "He was trying to tell me things without telling anyone else. No, it is not my birthday and this is not a card. First, I have to give some instructions. Then I have to check the crate that arrived. After that we can read this letter."

  I called for Ethan and Asher. I told them from now on they should let no visitors on the ship. If any attempted to enter, they should have Bradan sound the alarm, assume they are being attacked, and respond in kind.

  We went to the cargo area and I repeated what I had told the pilots to Bradan. We found a pry bar and Gwen opened the crate. I recognised the mortar shells for my cannon. They were packed carefully so they wouldn't detonate by accident. I pointed them out to Gwen and explained that we were now the most advanced gunship in the British fleet again.

  We went back to my stateroom to read the letter. It was pure drivel; something one would send to a friend after a year apart. I was about to discard it when Gwen asked to inspect it. She took it to the galley, held it over a low flame and another message appeared.

  Do not delay or all is lost. I have faith in you.

  Gwen asked, "What do you think that means?"

  "The second part is obvious. It means that my employers expect me to take care of matters like usual."

  "How about the first part?"

  I thought about it for a moment. "My best guess is they have been reading all the reports and noticed something very bad happening in the mountains and getting worse. Gerald must have written that part as he never tells me what I really need to know."

  Gwen said, "It seems we have our marching orders. I have faith in you too, grandmother. When do we ship out?"

  I said, "I'd like to recruit a few soldiers to our army first."

  "We have the most advanced weapons of this time. Why do we need any soldiers?"

  "It is not a matter of whether we need them or not. I want at least a platoon, but I won't turn down a battalion.

  She looked at me funny and asked, "Isn't a battalion serious overkill?"

  "I honestly believe the jeebees send in hundreds of drones just to deplete our ammunition. Let's take a walk outside. I need fresh air so I can think about what to do next."

  It was overcast outside and a bit chilly. That was okay as it was less distractions while I plodded along the path. I said, "They must be having the next meeting by now. Can you listen in on it from here?"

  She replied, "Unfortunately not. I have to be fairly close for that to work."

  "I guess we wait and see what they decide then."

  "I don't think we have long to wait. Someone is headed our way."

  We let Albert catch up to us. He said, "After quickly reviewing the facts and ignoring most, they voted and decided that the jeebees are not a big enough threat to send troops after."

  Gwen said, "Then most of them are idiots."

  I said, "That's it? We can't ignore the jeebees now that we know where they are hiding."

  He said, "The Colonel knows you both have strong feelings on the matter."

  "What good does that do?"

  "Officially, it doesn't do anything, if you know what I mean. The Colonel signed this order so you can leave whenever you are ready. He's gone home for the day so isn't here to wish you a safe trip."

  As he left, Gwen looked at me funny. "That was another one of those saying things without saying them, wasn't it?"

  I said, "Let's go back to my ship."

  And we went back to my room in silence again. If these guys couldn't say what they meant in public, I was going to be careful too. I said, "When I first took on this job, I was told that it was strictly unofficial.
The man in charge didn't want anyone to know what we were doing for him. So when Albert said the Colonel couldn't help us officially, he meant that we will get more help unofficially."

  Gwen said, "I get it. This is one of those two negatives equals a positive riddles."

  "And since the Colonel is out of his office and not signing orders, no-one at the base can follow us until tomorrow."

  She added, "He must suspect traitors in the senior ranks."

  Asher ran up to my stateroom. He said two men had a delivery for me.

  I looked out my window and recognised them after a second. We followed Asher and I opened the door. "Gwen, I'd like you to meet Lieutenant Mills and Lieutenant Reed. Gentlemen, this is my friend, Gwendoline MacGowan."

  Lieutenant Mills said, "Hello. We heard it was your birthday so we brought you gifts."

  I replied, "That was so nice of you. Would you please come in?"

  When I closed the door, Lieutenant Reed said, "Actually, the Colonel ordered us to deliver these personally and help you with them."

  Lieutenant Mills added, "We are itching to know what's in the boxes."

  They handed me two cardboard boxes. I opened one box. It had a pair of shiny black boots that looked like they would come up halfway to my knees. The other box contained an army dress uniform. I asked, "What does he want me to do with these?"

  Gwen suggested, "It appears he wants you to join the army... or for them to join you. He did say you guys were to help us, right?"

  I picked up a shoulder board with a red and gold crown on it. Lieutenant Mills said, "It looks to me like you've just skipped ten years of service and are now eligible to become a Major."

  I asked, "Is that a good thing?"

  He said, "Well, you can give us orders. That is if you want to. The Colonel could have meant for us to help you decide if that was what you wanted."

  "I was telling Gwen that we needed soldiers if we were going to fight the jeebees. Welcome to my army, Gentlemen. For my first order, I'd like you to move a heavy crate from the cargo area. It probably isn't work for officers, but you are all I have. 'Tis also delicate work that I need someone I can trust to attend to."