Insufferable Weight of Silence

by Huggins, Carrie

  "Are you sure?" He asks.

  "There's no one else I would rather do this with." I reply.

  "Elephant shoes." He whispers.

  "Elephant shoes." I reply kissing him softly. Those words will never mean the same thing again but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him. For as long as he would fight, I would never be with him and I'm not telling him that, it's why I can't stay. I refuse to be with a fighter. He'll just have to figure it out.

  The whole ride home I don't know if he feels as I do but neither of us speak to one another. Every now and then I catch him looking over at me. He has his hand on the inside of my leg and rubs his thumb across my thigh. When we pull into my driveway he puts his arm behind me and pulls me into his side.

  "I don't want you to go home." I whisper.

  "I don't want to go either."

  "You want to come in?"

  He pushes open his door and together we walk into the house. I don't turn on the TV but we both cuddle on the couch. He props his feet up on the table and I lay my head and hand across his chest.

  "You have always only ever been my only." He mutters quietly as I fall asleep.

  Chapter 11

  (Present day)

  I leave the Medical Examiners office feeling slightly defeated and head out to my car. I don't know what in the world I was thinking when I decided to take those tests again. I don't even remember using half the stuff that was on it. Texas seems to have stricter laws than Georgia. That or I didn't follow them well.

  Declan- How'd my sexy fiancé do on her test?

  Amity- :*(

  Declan- Ouch! You'd make a better sex slave anyway. Do you have any aversions to bondage?

  I huff out a laugh at his perverse comment and smile to myself. I actually find myself wondering if I would like to be tied up then immediately flash back to each time Brody choked me until I passed out while he forced me to have sex with him.

  Declan- It was a joke.

  Amity- I know, sorry. It made me think of Brody always choking me during sex.

  Declan- Do you want me to go to jail for murder?

  Amity- New topic. You want to get married today?

  Declan- Can't, working.... But how does three days from now sound?

  Amity- It was a joke.

  Declan- Not for me. Meet me at the court house in thirty.

  I look up from my phone surprised to see I'm actually already here. Is he serious? Is it fate that I actually am where he wants me to be and that our conversation has lead to this? The courthouse is on Main Street near the Medical Examiners office. I also note I probably shouldn't be walking around with my face in my phone since the streets are super busy and I have a tendency to wonder aimlessly. Uh, did he just say married in three days.

  Amity- Already here slow poke!

  Declan- I'll give you a slow poke. Repeatedly. Until you scream my name with pleasure.

  Amity- I see your slow poke and raise you a romp in the shower.

  Declan- Deal. A slow poke romp in the shower until you scream my name with pleasure, it is. See you in a few, sexy. BTW. Those black heels make me want to sink my teeth into your ass.

  I smile as I look up from my phone trying to find him on the crowded streets. When he left this morning I hadn't been wearing heels. As a matter of fact, I was still sleeping in bed. Did he mean thirty minutes or thirty seconds? I look to my left down the street and then to my right but I don't see anyone. Suddenly from across the intersection I see him and freeze. All the air in my lungs have been knocked out of me. I can't breathe and my palms are sweaty. I feel someone's arms around me and then a kiss on the cheek.

  "Hey beautiful girl. What are you looking at?" Declan asks. I look up at him and put on a fake smile. Brody is here in Bryan, Texas. I turn back to where I saw him but he's gone.

  "Oh, nothing. How's your day going?" I ask trying to hide my panic. He turns me and pulls me to him giving me a nice long kiss.

  "Better now that I'm on lunch. Come on. I don't just plan on getting this license." He says with a wink. "I want to make out with you in my truck like a couple teenagers." He grins. He releases me and grabs my hand pulling me towards the Court House. I'm pleased to see it doesn't take but twenty minutes of his lunch getting the paper we need.

  When we leave there he pulls me into his truck a few spots down from mine. I scoot into the middle of the front seat and without hesitation I wrap my arms around his neck and glance over his shoulder, Brody is standing a few cars away and he isn't happy. Dex leans into me with a grin.

  "I was teasing but I'm not going to deny you." He winks before giving me a long hard kiss. I force the thought of Brody to the back of my mind and revel in being here with Dex. I part my lips and he does the same pushing his tongue into mine. I reach for the top of his Fire-Dex pants and pull his shirt out in the front so I can place my hands on his warm solid flesh.

  "You know we're in front of the court house don't you?" He whispers across my mouth. I look into his eyes from under my lashes.

  "There's a first for everything." I reply and if Brody wants a show, a show is what he's going to get. I draw my fingers down his happy trail and unclasp his jeans. He goes to say something but I place my mouth on his. I give him a little squeeze; he swallows hard, certainly from enjoyment at our inappropriate misconduct or the feel of me finally pleasing him.

  "You're going to get us in trouble." He whispers huskily. I smile seductively.

  "I'm just giving you a little sneak peak of what I'm expecting later. Since I feel better and all." I bat my lashes at him.

  "You're certainly the insufferable one today." He groans and reaches behind my head to pull my lips back to his. I smirk back at him feeling thoroughly please with my performance for the man I love.

  "Do you know how amazing you are?" He asks.

  "I was about to ask you the same thing." I smile sweetly. I catch the clock on the dash, he only has ten minutes before he has to be back at work. I decide to leave him stunned and turn for the door.

  "Thanks for lunch. You have a fantastic day, Mr. Xylander." I jump from his truck leaving him speechless.

  When I reach my SUV Brody is sitting in the diner across the street staring out the window angrily at me. I don't know if he knows what I just did but to be honest I don't give a damn. I stoically reach for my keys and unlock the door. I glare back at him and give him a hope-you-liked-the-show look before I shut the door, start my truck, and pull away.

  I reach Amber and Jeremy's house a short while later, thankful she watched the girls at her place today while I went and took my test. I prayed Brody didn't decide to follow after me. I hadn't planned on it but since I saw Brody I stayed until Declan calls me and tells me he's home.

  I knock on the door and don't have to wait too long. Delaney's beautiful smiling face is staring back at me with icing around her mouth and on her nose.

  "Mommy!" She screams happily. "Aunt Amber gave us cupcakes." She bellows.

  "I can see that. Is it good?" I ask as I usher her into the house.

  "Yummy in my tummy!" Delia giggles from the kitchen. Amber comes around the corner smiling apologetically at me.

  "Sorry but I was making some for Jeremy's nephew's birthday. I couldn't tell them no."

  "Oh it's fine. Thanks for watching them. Were they good?" I ask.

  "Perfect little angels. Weren't you ladies?" She smiles over at them. They both nod as they go back to stuffing their faces with cupcake. I sit at the table patiently waiting for them and certainly not rushing them. Dex doesn't get off for 2 more hours and I'm in no hurry. When they're finished I put them in front of the TV to watch their favorite show, Signing Time.

  "Would you like a glass of tea?" Amber asks.

  "Oh, yes. Please. I'd love some." I reply. She busies her self pulling cups from the cabinet and getting ice.

  "So how did you meet Declan?" She asks over her shoulder as she pours tea into our glasses.

  "Our moms were friends in high school and so we were
pretty much raised together." I say to her.

  "Oh wow! Y'all go way back." She smiles and set my glass down in front of me.

  "Yea, we have always lived right across the street from each other. He in the one his parents are in now and I in the one he's in." I add.

  "That's awesome. I wish I had a friend like that. I met Jeremy after high school." She frowns. "He pulled me out of my car when I was t-boned. He came up to the hospital everyday for a week to see how I was doing." Aww, that's got to be the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

  "He's such a sweetheart. They're all older than me; Jeremy, Jason, and Dex. I followed them around and got on their nerves for the most part but I was super attached to Dex and he watched out for me." She laughs.

  "Girl I don't blame you, they all have some rocking bodies." I nod.

  "They most certainly do." I say over the top of my glass.

  "Wait, I thought you and him were the same age. How old are you?" She asks curiously.

  "24."

  "Huh, I would have never guessed. You seem so mature for your age."

  "Thanks, can I ask you something? You don't have to answer it either but I'm kind of curious." She looks at me intrigued.

  "Please do, you're the only girl I've talked to in I don't know how long."

  Really? But all our mutual friends are married. Why wouldn't she talk to them?

  "It's about Lily." I note.

  "Ah." She huffs out a breath as if she may know what I'm going to ask.

  "Don't get me wrong, I can tolerate her but...." I start.

  "But she still has the hots for your fiancé..." She finishes my sentence. I nod.

  "Yea, that's what I thought. I feel bad for Kaseton. He's a great guy and the way Lily acts around Dex makes me weary of her, it's as if she doesn't even care that Kaseton or I are in the room." I point out. I know they had been together in the past so it bothers me that she may try something now. She obviously doesn't care about her marriage so why should she care about mine.

  "Yea, Kaseton always says you can't turn a hoe into a house wife." She laughs and I join in.

  "Yea he told me that too when I asked why they don't want kids. She says she does and so does he but he doesn't want them with her." I confide.

  "I don't blame him." She states. "She would just leave them with him high and dry when the next hot thing with more money comes through the door. Poor Kaseton is trying to make it work because he stupidly married her in Vegas when they all went up there a couple months ago. It was supposed to be an all guys trip but Lily followed Declan and came back on Kaseton's arm. Poor guys." She laughs.

  "Oh lord, that woman is something else isn't she? Should I be worried?" I ask seriously.

  "Oh no honey. Dex's smarter than that. Since he cleaned up he doesn't give her the time of day. Plus, now that you're here no one sees him anymore." She says. I look at her apologetically. She brushes me off. "No no. Really don't feel bad. We're all very happy for you two and.... Jesus so many people here adore you. I included. Don't get me wrong we're happy for him. He really seems to love you and with everything going on we understand why he's in protective mode."

  "Thanks, I like all of you too and Dex is literally the love of my life." I beam up at her. "I was worried I wasn't going to get such a warm welcome when I came back having his twins and all the drama that follows. Excuse me one second." I just remembered I need to shoot Hadley a text about Brody.

  "Take your time. I got to go throw some laundry in the dryer." She says as she stands from the table.

  Amity- I saw Brody in town today when I was leaving the Medical Testing Office.

  Hadley- What?!? Did he see you or say anything? What time was this?

  Amity- An hour ago. Yes, he saw me. No he didn't say anything. I was with Declan.

  Hadley- Does Dex know? Where are you?

  Amity- At Amber and Jeremy's house. No he doesn't know.

  Hadley- Ok, stay there. Don't go out alone. Tell Dex or I will! I'm putting out an APB.

  Amity- Thanks, Hadley. You know I love you, right?!

  Hadley- It was just that one time in high school. I have a girlfriend now. ;)

  Amity- Funny. You got jokes.

  Hadley- ; *

  I continue to talk with Amber for a while longer. She seems like such a sweet woman and I'm glad to know I may have a female friend to confide in here and not just Dex's sister. As much as I love Hadley, she's still Dex's sister. It's hard talking to her about girlfriend type things especially since she knows everything.

  "So Carson seems to really hit it off with Delia at the aquarium. Is he sleeping?" I ask. She shakes her head.

  "No, he's with his dad for the weekend." She says. I look at her confused. Jeremy took Carson to the fire station?

  "Oh, um- Carson isn't Jeremy's. He's from a previous relationship. Taylor is Jeremy's though." She adds.

  "Oh, ok I was wondering how that worked. I thought Jeremy got you pregnant when Dex got me pregnant." I say feeling like an idiot.

  "No, but Jeremy treats him better than his own father. I'm surprised Marcus, his father, even took him for the weekend. He hardly ever sees him." She confides. Aww, poor Carson. He seems like such a great kid.

  "Yea, sounds like Jeremy." I smile.

  "He's been around since he was about a year old. So might as well be." She huffs out a laugh. I don't see how it's funny but, ok. My phone chimes and I pick up my phone to see it's Dex.

  Declan- Stay where you are, I'll be there in a little bit. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU SAW BRODY? I was right there, Amity! I'm not very happy.

  "Oh lord, shouty capitals. Dex isn't pleased." I frown. "I saw Brody in town today when I was having lunch with Dex and I didn't tell him. Hadley must have called him or he heard the APB. Crap!"

  "Brody?" She asks curiously.

  "My Ex. The guy that did...." I point to my face. She goes wide eyed.

  "He's, here? I thought he lived in Georgia." She asks.

  "He does. He's also out on bail and considering he's in Texas he's going to be in a lot of trouble when someone finds him for skipping town." I add.

  "Well I hope they find him soon before he does anything. Do you need me to follow you home?" She asks worried.

  "No, Dex is coming here. I have a feeling I'm going to have several body guards until he's caught." I frown. "Probably house arrest."

  "Knowing him I'm sure you will." She frowns apologetically. "Can I ask you a really weird question?"

  I laugh uncomfortably, "sure."

  "Why does everyone find you and Dex together and with kids such a shock?" She asks.

  "Oh, not too weird. You didn't know us back then." I start. "Growing up and all throughout high school until a week before we left, we really did just act like we were only friends or best friends. Kind of like brother and sister. He's always been extremely protective and neither of us lead on to the other that we were interested in the other. Then a week before I left for college while he was home for the summer from college we both got super drunk. Needless to say I lost my virginity to him. We only had sex that one time and I ended up pregnant."

  "Wow! Tough luck. You lost your virginity and got pregnant all in one night." She laughs. I smile up at her.

  "Yea, and the crazy part is we've only had sex that one time and now we're getting married in three days." I add.

  "What? Three days! I just found out you were engaged and only because I saw the huge rock on your finger when you walked in the door this morning." She gushes.

  "What huge rock?" Jeremy asks walking into the kitchen. He bends down and kisses me on the top of the head.

  "Hello gorgeous! You're in a lot of trouble." Then he bends down and kisses Amber on the mouth. "You're not but you could be if you wanted to." He laughs.

  "Hey Jer! You don't have to tell me I already know. I got the shouty capitals text." I frown up at him. "Where's Dex?" I ask.

  "Saying hello to my beautiful daughters." He calls from the living room.

 
"What huge rock?" Jeremy asks again. Amber picks up my left hand and shoves it in Jeremy's face. He goes wide eyed.

  "Hey isn't that grandma's?" He asks.

  "Was." Declan chuckles as he walks in, I turn to look up at him so I could gage his expression. "Now it's Amity's, unless.... She continues to keep secrets from me." He glares down at me.

  "I'm sorry. I told Hadley, though." I say hoping that eases some of his anger. "That's got to count for something. She's the cop."

  "It does count for something. Well that and I'm still on cloud nine from lunch." He says as he winks at me. It makes me blush and even more so when he kisses me in front of them.

  "I thought you said y'all only......oh, Gross!" Amber blanches. "Virgin ears, here." She teases.

  "Yea, virgin my ass." Jeremy laughs from near the fridge. "Make me and Dex some tea, woman. Pronto."

  "I got your pronto." She says unimpressed.

  "Don't worry about me." Dex tells her. "We actually have to go."

  After talking for a few more minutes, Declan passes around Brody's mug shot so they can see it. They say if anyone sees him they are to immediately call the police and Hadley. I start to finally feel uneasy about the whole thing for once. When I got into my truck today I had actually made the mistake of flaunting my happy self to him from across the street so he's probably pissed. Dex asks them to watch the girls a little while longer and we quickly leave.

  "We're leaving my truck here. We will pick it up later when we get the girls. I'm assuming he didn't follow you here. I don't think he would have been able to keep himself from going right on in and hurting all of you." He says as he climbs into the driver seat. I can tell he isn't happy with me by how he's acting.

  "Where are we going?" I ask thinking all this is kind of weird.