by Linda Taylor
Mr Robson opened the door and gestured me in with a wave of his arm. There was something so unwholesome about the man.
‘Do come in, dear lady,’ he said in welcome.
‘You’re late!’ He said sharply to Daniel who apologised.
I followed Robson in, Daniel walking behind me.
There was a long hallway tastefully papered in light cream with a heavy sideboard on which stood a big, blue vase of dried flowers.
I walked into the living room. This was a pale primrose yellow and quite charming. The suite matched the patterned curtains that were partly drawn across French windows. As I trod across the room, the carpet felt deep and luxurious. It was in a plain style but of an amber colour, warm and inviting. The fire place was Adam style with a large rectangular mirror above it.
‘How charming this place is,’ I remarked. The notion of spiders and their webs quietly sprung to my mind.
‘My late Mother’s,’ responded Mr Robson.’ Do sit yourself down, Louisa. You look rather peaky and tired, if I might say so. Was the journey so arduous?’
I sat myself down and pushed a golden cushion behind my back. He was right. I was feeling tired and had found getting up in the mornings difficult lately. But his knowing it seemed oddly intrusive.
‘I’m fine, thank you. My Aunt’s death was a shock though, I must admit,’ was all I would admit to.
‘Ah, yes. Daniel did mention the passing on of that dear lady. She seemed so amicable on our coaching holiday. You must have been very close?’
‘Perhaps some tea?’ asked Daniel.
‘Good idea, my boy. I’ll ask Mrs Brown to make us a brew.’ He left the room and I felt relieved immediately at his exit.
‘You are okay, aren’t you, Louisa? Perhaps, so soon after losing your Aunt, this wasn’t such a good idea’, he sat on the chair next to mine and took my hand in his.
‘No. I’ll be fine. I just need an early night, I guess.’
We took tea and Mrs Brown, a stout, plain woman in her late 50’s, smiled benignly and led me to my room.
This too was quite lovely. It had a comfortable double bed with covers matching the flowery blue wall paper and curtains. The bay window overlooked the sea and a window seat completed its charm. A small, white fireplace was decorated with neo-Georgian swags.
I unpacked my few belongings and went out on the landing to find the bathroom that Mrs Brown had already shown me on the way up. This was a small room, tiled in various shades of green with a burgundy suite. I soon readied myself for bed and climbed in under the cool duvet.
The mattress was soft yet supportive. There was a small knock on the door and Daniel came in at my response.
‘Sleep well, my darling’ he said, kissing me on the brow.
‘Will you?’… I began, aching to have him next to me for the night.
He lowered his voice. ‘Yes. When he has retired, I will join you, my love. But get some rest for now. We’ll probably be in the Billiard Room until about 11.’
I kissed his lips and snuggled down to sleep.
I must have slept well and deeply. The next I knew, I felt his cool hands exploring my body. I turned and opened my eyes to see his smiling face. He kissed me hard and we made love. I was surprised at his ardour, for Robson was in the house with us and seemed to have such a hold over him.
But sex was always wonderful with him. He seemed to know instinctively what would please me and he took time so that I was totally aroused. I had never had such a lover before.
Early the next morning, I felt his hands caress my thigh.
‘I must have you again,’ he whispered in my ear. But this time he was more eager, and I quickened to his response. Our love- making had changed and now we made love with such urgency that I felt tender afterwards and yet satiated.
He laid his hand on my stomach.
‘You seem tender here. Is your stomach troubling you? Is it going to be that time?’ he asked.
‘No. But you are right. I have felt uncomfortable and my periods have been odd the last couple of times. Maybe I should see the doctor on my return.’
We got up and after bathing together, got dressed for breakfast.
I wasn’t feeling very hungry.
Mr Robson was sitting at the dining table drinking his coffee from a silver Georgian style coffee set.
‘Good morning both,’ he said looking up as we entered the room together. He must have known we had slept most of the night in my bed.
The dining room was in a warm wood panelling. I took a seat but only managed a cup of tea from Mrs Brown who seemed concerned at my lack of appetite.
‘Maybe you should see a doctor here,’ suggested Daniel. I watched him walk away leaving the room to smoke a cigarette outside on the patio.
‘The doctor here is a good friend of mine,’ began Mr Robson’ he may be able to offer some advice if you are not feeling too well, my dear.’
I already hated the way he called me ‘my dear’.
He looked up as if checking that the door was closed behind Daniel’s retreating figure.
‘You couldn’t be pregnant, could you?’ he lowered his voice and smiled but the smile was false, intrusive, and lewd even.
‘I doubt it.’ I said confidently, looking him straight in the eyes. His eyes behind those small steel - rimmed glasses were too small, red rimmed yet piercing.
That first morning of the weekend, Daniel walked me along by the sea for some fresh air. I had certainly noticed lighter periods recently but could not believe I had fallen pregnant. I had changed my birth pills recently and I guessed this might be the cause of my discomfort.
Later that day, Mrs Brown made me a light lunch of scrambled eggs but I could eat little of it.
We sat in the living room after our luncheon and Mr Robson took a glass of whisky. Daniel took none.
‘Daniel really rather loathes alcohol, don’t you, dear boy?’ he said.
‘Not really, Sir. It just doesn’t suit me’ he replied.
‘Have you known each other long?’ I enquired, hoping to gather more information about this relationship. The two were such different men.
‘I knew the Count, his father very well. We worked together for some years, on and off.’
‘What kind of work was that?’ I sipped at some lemon squash.
Mr Robson looked then at Daniel as if he wanted him to answer my question, but on getting no response, he continued.’ Imports, Exports, financial dealings mostly. Poor man died a short while ago. Tragic business’.
Daniel interrupted him with’ I have told Louisa about… Father’s death’. He paused between the two last words as if he wanted to but could not say the word ‘suicide’.
Mrs Brown came in and Daniel was summoned to the telephone.
‘You should get yourself checked out, dear girl,’ Mr Robson leant over to me, his breath hot and distasteful in my face.
‘I know a pregnant woman when I see one. I can tell by the eyes. Daniel will be pleased of course. It might check some of his moods. He’s in one today.’ I looked up quizzically and restraining myself, said nothing in response.
‘Oh, yes. He has his moods. I have got used to them of course as we spend more and more time together. His happiness is very important to me you know. You do make him happy, don’t you?’ he leered at me.
Daniel came back into the room before I could answer but I could feel the heat in my face. I was angry at his assumptions and I knew I could never like him, not even for Daniel’s sake.
We three took a bus into Norwich. Daniel had cancelled a table- booking as he could see I was not well enough to eat a good meal.
‘I am sorry, Daniel…’ I began.
‘Don’t let it worry you, love. You have had a lot to contend with lately. We’ll visit a museum and take it easy today.’
I went to bed early, chiefly to be free of Mr Robson’s presence. I disliked him intensely and didn’t even want to spend time in the same room as him. I just wanted to be with Da
niel and I wished the man would disappear for the rest of our weekend together and let us be.
That night was spent in each other’s arms but we did not make love. I was still feeling queasy and very tired. I awoke, whether from an unfamiliar sound in the house or the stormy sea lapping the cliffs, I couldn’t tell. I sat upright and there she stood, at the end of the bed: that grey figure of the woman who had come and gone throughout my life so far. She never spoke or gestured but just stood there at the bottom of the bed. Suddenly Daniel sat up beside me.
‘Can you see her?’ I asked him, shivering now with no bedclothes to warm me.
‘You see someone too?’ he softly asked me ‘They don’t come to harm us, Louisa. They don’t come to harm us’ he wrapped his arm around me reassuringly.
‘She’s gone now. Did you see her, then?’
‘No. But I have seen a figure myself over time,’ he confessed.
‘How odd that we both…’ I began.
‘Oh, but I know who mine is,’ his voice was sad and low.
‘Daniel?’ I started back.
‘It’s my Mother. I see her and she is weeping.’
‘She misses you.’
‘No. Not me. She misses my brother’. He was sitting upright now in the bed and staring ahead, looking far away. I felt scared then.
‘Brother? You have a brother, of course, you said…’
‘I had a brother. But I really don’t know if he is alive or dead. She never says. She just stands and weeps and mouths Jacques, Jacques.’
‘Jacques? He was called Jacques?’ I felt sick.
‘Yes, after my grandfather. Why?’
Surely this was mere coincidence.
‘But how awful for you and to lose a brother. Surely you must be scared by seeing her?’
He turned towards me then, entirely out of any reverie and took my hands in his, a familiar gesture of comfort and support.
‘Dear Louisa. If you but knew all. Someday perhaps I can tell you more. You look so pale. Let’s snuggle down,’ he lightly pushed my shoulders downward,’ let us sleep again.’
We slept until Mrs Brown knocked on our door and brought in a breakfast tray.
‘Mrs Brown, I hardly…’ Daniel began, rubbing at his bleary eyes on her entrance. I had been awake some time, just watching him. It sounded as having a girl over to stay was not a regular occurrence and this pleased me no end.
‘I’m not that old- fashioned,’ she laughed lightly and put the tray, already laid for two, on the bed for us as we both sat up against our pillows.
‘Mr Robson took a taxi early this morning. He didn’t say where he was going, as ever, but he returns later this evening. Seems you two love- birds have some more time alone.’
‘Thank you, dear Mrs Brown.’ Daniel smiled that engaging smile of his.
I couldn’t help but think she must wish she was some years younger!
That last evening, I managed to eat some vegetables.
Mrs Brown seemed understanding and made no comment.
Daniel did not come to my room, having said he wanted me to rest and be ready for the journey home the next day.
On his return, Mr Robson was kept busy in his office and Daniel spent some time going in with him and then coming back to see me.
I didn’t feel that the weekend had gone well and that I had had Daniel enough to myself. Robson’s presence was always there even if he was downstairs and Daniel never hesitated when he called for him.
I wanted Daniel to myself. I wanted him exclusively. I almost wished I had not come.
Chapter 10
I hadn’t been home more than half an hour when Peter rang my doorbell
‘So, how did it go, Lulabell?’ He waltzed in with that grin back on his face.
‘You came round here just to ask me that?’ I teased. ‘I suppose you want tea or coffee or something?
‘I think I’d better get it .You look decidedly peaky old bean. Too much rumpy pumpy- he’s worn you out.’
‘You… you!’ I laughed. ‘Do I really look so bad?’
‘Well, pale anyway.’ He fetched two cups and had put the kettle on,
‘I’ve been doing some detective work, Lou’ he said, sitting down and pouring the hot water.
‘Detective? What about, monkey?’
‘Why did Ma put those photos in that tin for ME to have after she was gone? There was one of her taken in hospital too.’
‘You’re kidding!’
‘No. That does seem odd. She’s got her arm around some young boy. She’s sitting on his bed and it looks like the same place but presumably another ward. Then there’s one of her and him in the grounds. I recognise those gardens. Dad often got her a place to recover in there. It’s a discrete nursing home for people who have had breakdowns. Not that I visited much as he didn’t let us. I went though, when I was out of his control, as an adult.’ Peter sat himself down on the settee.
‘It was never discussed by my parents, until I had left home and Aunt and I could talk. She seemed ashamed at first but she did tell me about the ECT. She said it helped’, I felt a need to explain.
‘I’d like to know more about that other photo of the team of nurses or whatever. I think I recognise someone in that one.’ I had to find out more and Peter was my only source.
Peter got his wallet out and the photos that he was now keeping safely with him.
‘Do you mean this one of the nursing staff?’
‘Yes! That’s it. That’s the one. See that bloke there, third on the left? Peter put his thumb on the figure. ‘He’s Robson, I just know it. I’d know that face anywhere: that creepy smile of his…’
‘You don’t like the bloke then I gather! Small world. Ma being in the care and at the same place …’ Peter put on his spectacles to take a closer look.
‘He was on our coach holiday as well,’ I informed him.
‘That’s too much of a coincidence!’
‘I agree. And he says he is some kind of financier. He never said he was a nurse or anything like that.’
‘Financier, eh? There are financiers and financiers. This place was closed down, ran out of funds. Seen him lately then, have you?’ Peter enquired.
‘He’s this close friend, no not friend, somehow more associate, of Daniel’s. I just spent my rather uncomfortable weekend with him around us. Mind you, I guess he had a right as it was his place.’
‘How do you know?’ Peter suddenly asked.
‘What do you mean, how do I know?’
‘How do you know for sure that this bloke owns a house, any house? Listen Lou, I don’t think we should take anything as gospel now. I think we need to do some more detective work. Where is this house? And who is this bloke Robson? It sounds to me as if he has some kind of hold over your Daniel. I checked Him out by the way. He is the son of that late Count according to the official records.’
‘Honestly, Peter!’
‘Don’t get all stroppy now! You’re all I have left, remember, direct line, and I don’t want you hurt or mixed up with the wrong sort.’
‘I suppose I should be grateful!’ He learnt over then and gave me a big wet, sucking kiss on the cheek. How I loved him, the cheeky monkey!
That night I had the dream again and I awoke sweating and then shivering all over. I rang Peter early the next morning, having phoned in to work as sick. I also made an appointment at the doctors. Peter agreed that I should go ahead with the dream work and go and see John again for some help with it.
Chapter 11
‘Definitely’ said the Doctor as I sat up from the couch.
‘But I had a period’ I told him.
‘A light ‘show’ is not uncommon. Definitely. About 8 weeks I’d say. I’ll make you an appointment at the hospital. Is there a problem with having a baby?’ he asked, looking over the top of his spectacles at me.
I was astonished, delighted, maddened all rolled into one.
I mentally did some figures. That meant I had fallen the very first time
Daniel and I had had sex.
‘Can you come back down to earth there!’ said my G.P.
‘Sorry Doctor. I was dreaming a bit then.’
‘I could see that. The packet does say that on changing birth pills, you need to take extra precautions. Is that the problem?’
I smiled back at him, took the paperwork he handed me and replied’ there is no problem. This baby is good news’
Yes; I had persuaded myself there and then and really quite easily.
I tried to ring Daniel on the number he had given me but there was no reply. I guessed he was away somewhere with Mr Robson. I wanted him to know first of course. Robson and his guesses could go to hell! I could imagine the sneering smile of satisfaction on his face. I was determined I would not meet him again.
I rang John Connelly and he had a free appointment for me. He opened the door to me, his hair in a mess as usual and I could hear loud music emanating from upstairs.
‘Turn it down, damn you!’ he called up ‘Hi, Louisa. Come on in to the mad house!’
I followed him in and the music had soon died down.
‘John, I have had the dream again and it makes me feel so wretched afterwards. Plus, well, in confidence…’ he quickly dived in here with ‘always in confidence’ …I nodded and continued’ I’m pregnant. It was confirmed by the doc this morning.’
‘I see. Let us get on then and see if we can take control of this.’
I settled into a comfy chair and he sat opposite me, his chair drawn up quite close. He lowered the lights.
‘You told me that you have always visualised a figure at the end of your bed?’
He needed no files to remember this it seemed. I agreed that this was so.
‘Who do you think it is? No, let us rephrase that. Do you think it is anyone?’
‘God!’ I sighed heavily, ‘I have no idea.’
‘Do you believe in God then?’
‘I do when it suits me.’
‘That’s honest enough. Do you think the figure is good or harmful?’